Return to Roseglen

by Helene Young

  ‘Oh, I see.’ Georgina grabbed her clothes and slipped into the bathroom.

  Ivy watched her go, light-headed with relief. Or was it regret? As the nurse chatted she answered automatically.

  Ivy was sorry Kenneth hadn’t been to see her, but it was hardly surprising. And what would she say to him? The game’s up? Time to stand on your own two feet, Ken? She couldn’t forgive his behaviour. There would be repercussions.

  The nurse was fussing, saying something about Ivy’s blood pressure being too low. The cuff inflated again, pinching her arm, but she didn’t feel the pain. It was irrelevant. The fallout would be immense. Ivy shuddered. She wasn’t brave enough to face her children after all. Maybe she’d never been brave. Maybe it was just bluff and bluster. ‘More front than Myers’, Charlie used to tease.

  Georgina emerged from the bathroom looking more like herself. She waved from the doorway. ‘I’ll be back soon.’

  ‘Bye, my girl,’ Ivy struggled to shape the words, but the dratted nurse had the oxygen mask back in place and it smothered the belated ‘I love you.’ It was as though Georgina took the energy from the room. The walls felt smaller, greyer.

  ‘So lovely that she stayed with you,’ the nurse carried on. ‘Family’s important. We’re nothing without family.’

  ‘No,’ Ivy said, fighting to keep her lids open. ‘Family looks after one another.’ Except that she knew that wasn’t always the case.

  The fractured family she was leaving behind would never be whole again. Ken had thrown away the people who loved him, who protected and supported him. Who did he have left in the world? Why did he make the choices he’d made?

  ‘It’s not your problem, love.’ Charlie had reappeared and was leaning over her, bringing warmth with him. ‘Not worth raising it with Old Mr D if you bump into him, either. You look nice in that dress. The blue suits your eyes. Always did. My summertime girl.’ He planted his lips firmly on Ivy’s cheek, and she felt the faint rasp of a day’s beard. She could smell the horses and leather outside, and the Old Spice and Brylcreem on his skin as he tucked a wave of her hair behind her ear. ‘The last dance is mine, I believe.’

  He held out his hand and she took it. She stepped into his arms and smiled. ‘It’s always your dance, Charlie.’ The old Methodist Church hall was decorated with balloons and streamers. The flickering fluoro lights were covered in cellophane to blunt their glare. The air was hot, dry before the wet, and the smell of floor polish didn’t quite overpower the green tang of hay bales.

  As he whirled her around the room, familiar faces smiled from the sideline. Ivy floated like a puffball from a dandelion blowing in the breeze, as light as one of her champion meringues. Gazing up at Charlie, one hand clasped in his and the other resting on his broad shoulder, she was delighted to finally be going home.

  Georgina knew the instant she reached the door of Ivy’s room that something was wrong. There were too many people busy around Ivy’s bed. Her legs felt elongated as though she was walking on stilts.

  ‘Ivy?’ The tray of coffee wobbled in her hand as she pushed the door open further.

  The same nurse who’d been there earlier turned to her, grabbed for the coffee before it could fall.

  ‘Oh, Georgie, I’m sorry, love.’

  That noise couldn’t be coming from her, could it, Georgina thought, trying to find the strength to walk to the bed. Ivy looked relaxed, her legs no longer curled up to her chest the way she usually slept. Her hands were crossed on top of the blanket. They’d replaced the stiff collar with a rolled-up face washer. Someone had brushed her hair. Serene, despite the bruising around her nose and the cut over her eye. No sign of the temper, the stubborn resistance, the strength that carried her through her long life. No sign of the pursed look of disapproval or the sly smile.

  Ivy looked like she should be knitting booties for her great-grandchildren and for one awful moment the full force of being childless took Georgina’s breath away. No one would ever look at her this way. No daughter or granddaughter would hold her tight one last time.

  She sat on the edge of the bed, uncertain of what she wanted to say or do. All but one of the medical staff had melted from the room.

  ‘I’ve rung Felicity,’ the nurse said, compassion in her voice as she touched Georgina’s shoulder. ‘She said she was just parking the car so she won’t be long. I’ll leave you alone for now. Take all the time you need.’

  Georgina nodded, her throat too constricted to speak. She hadn’t even been there for her mother’s final moment, to hold her hand, give her comfort. But maybe that’s what she’d wanted: to slip quietly away when no one was watching.

  At first the words wouldn’t come, caught in taut bands of emotion. Georgie could hear the rattle of trollies, the beeping of alarms, voices murmuring, heels clicking on the lino floor in the corridor. She edged a little closer. She needed to do this.

  ‘I’m sorry, Mum.’ She tentatively reached up to touch her mother’s battered face, feeling warmth still in the fragile skin. It felt urgent now, before her mother grew cold and her spirit flew, to say what she’d come all this way to say. Georgie drew in a ragged breath, sat a little straighter.

  ‘I’m sorry that I was never enough for you, that I disappointed you in so many ways. We were so alike and it took me years to work that out. Perfection was the only thing good enough. And I tried, I really did. I know you were proud of me, but I wish somewhere in all these years we could have stopped being so hard on each other.’ She looked down with a half-smile, reached out and picked up her mother’s hand, limp now, but still bent with arthritis.

  ‘I know I’m the woman I am in large part because of you, and yet I don’t necessarily like me. I wish I could let things lie, not have to worry about them to the bitter end. I’m a worrier, just like you are. Were,’ she amended. She bowed her head. It was impossibly hard to let it go. The clock on the wall seemed to tick more slowly.

  ‘I wish we’d had more time at the end. I wanted to tell you that I have forgiven you but now . . .’ She wiped at the tears that dripped from her chin, surprised to see how wet her fingers were. ‘It doesn’t seem important anymore. Maybe you knew me better than I did. Who am I going to argue with now?’ she asked, her gaze back on Ivy’s face. She half expected her mother to open her eyes and deliver a quick retort.

  ‘Hey.’ Felicity spoke from the door, her voice soft.

  Georgina turned to her. ‘I wasn’t here. She died and I wasn’t here.’ Her bottom lip wouldn’t stop quivering.

  ‘The nurse said you were talking to her this morning. Ivy knew you were here for her. That’s all that matters.’ Felicity’s understanding slashed another hole in her heart.

  ‘But I feel like I let her down, let you down.’

  Felicity plopped onto the bed next to her and wrapped her arms around her. ‘You’ve never, ever let me down and, knowing Mum, she’d much rather have gone in private. I bet Charlie came for her. He wouldn’t let her get lost.’

  Georgie summoned a bleak smile. ‘Taken her away to Saint Peter.’

  ‘Make sure they both ended up in the same place,’ Felicity said. They sat silently together for a moment, arms around each other. ‘I’ve rung Sean. He’s on his way. I’ve rung Ken as well. Left another message. I have no idea where he is.’

  ‘The selfish prick couldn’t even bother coming to the hospital.’ Georgina wiped the back of her hand over her nose, then reached for the box of tissues.

  ‘She would have missed him.’

  Georgina blew her nose. ‘Do you want some time with her alone?’

  Felicity shook her head. ‘I said goodbye last night. I didn’t think she’d make it.’

  ‘You should have stayed. You, more than anyone, earned that right.’ Georgina tried to ignore the stab of guilt.

  ‘But I didn’t need it, Georgie.’

  ‘And I did?’ Felicity just smiled and rested her head against her sister’s. ‘You always understand this shit better than I do.’

&n
bsp; ‘That’s why I’m a nurse and you operate heavy machinery.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  The door opened and Ella’s face appeared around the edge. The devastation in her face was heartbreaking as she lost the battle with her tears. Felicity held out her hand to her daughter, whose halting steps brought her across the room. She looked rattled. In all likelihood it was the first time she’d seen someone dead, let alone her beloved grandmother, Georgie realised, reaching out to hold her other hand.

  ‘I can’t believe Granny D is really gone,’ Ella sobbed. ‘She seemed so upbeat yesterday.’

  ‘It’s not easy on their bodies, hon. And she was tired.’

  ‘I think I’d kill Uncle Ken if he was here right now.’

  ‘Shh, don’t say that.’

  ‘But he caused it.’

  ‘Hey, she may well have just fallen.’

  ‘Well, I’m sure that’s what she meant,’ Ella cried, wrenching a hanky from her pocket. ‘And karma will get him one day, even if I can’t.’

  Felicity and Georgina shared a glance. Ella had all of Ivy’s fire and then some. ‘We can leave you with Granny D if you like,’ Felicity said.

  Ella nodded. ‘Yeah. I’d like that.’

  Georgina followed her younger sister from the room, grateful that one of them seemed capable of managing on a day so grey and bleak.

  Outside in the corridor Dan and Mitch stood side by side. Georgina could see Mitch was holding hard to his tears. Dan hugged her and she rested against him, grateful for his comfort. Dan, who seldom asked for anything, was offering her a second chance and she’d be a fool to refuse. Life held no guarantees.

  She could hear Felicity murmuring to Mitch next to her. Surely Felicity could see what was in front of her nose. Maybe she needed to sit down with her little sister and spell it out. It was the least she could do.

  Dan’s arms tightened around her. She turned her head in time to see Ken stalking down the corridor. Immaculate as always in moleskins and a chambray shirt, his RM boots shiny under the lights, he looked every inch the successful grazier, but the scowl on his face was deepened by red parallel scratches down his left cheek.

  ‘So it’s true,’ he snarled at his sisters.

  ‘Yes, mate.’ Mitch intercepted him. ‘Ivy’s gone. Ella’s with her at the moment. She won’t be long.’

  ‘Get away from me, Trethowan,’ Ken spat, rearing up to his full height. ‘You don’t get to tell me what to do, arsehole. I’ve filed a complaint with the police about the threats you’ve made, about how you’ve assaulted me.’ Before either woman could intervene, Mitch and Dan moved shoulder to shoulder, blocking the door.

  ‘Enough,’ Dan said, enunciating clearly. ‘Ella. Won’t. Be. Long. Take a seat, mate.’

  ‘Shame you couldn’t get here last night,’ Mitch added, crossing his arms, the rolled-up cuffs of his shirt pale against his tanned muscles. Ken’s threats had left him unmoved.

  ‘Fuck you,’ Ken sneered. ‘You have no claim on this family.’

  ‘You’re wrong, Ken,’ Felicity said, stepping up next to the men. ‘Mitch was Mum’s best friend.’

  Georgina didn’t miss the flicker of pain that crossed Mitch’s face. Was that emotion about losing Ivy or because Felicity didn’t claim him as her best friend?

  ‘Best friend?’ Ken said with derision. ‘Doing fucking deals with Ivy without her family knowing anything about it. You think I don’t know what she did with her savings? You think I don’t know what you’re doing at the caves? You can’t keep a bloody secret in this godforsaken community.’

  ‘You want to bet on that, Kenneth Dunmore?’ Mitch’s voice was low, but there was no mistaking the menace in it. ‘I think you and I know several secrets that would send shock waves through the community. You want to see the photos of you stealing my cattle before or after I send them to the Stock Squad?’

  ‘Fuck off.’ Ken took a step forwards and Georgina joined the fray.

  ‘Bullying never solved a damn thing, Ken. Back up. Now,’ she said.

  The door behind the four of them opened and Ella shoved her way to the front between Mitch and Dan. ‘How could you?’ she hissed at Ken, her cheeks blotchy, eyes red. ‘How could you push your own mother over and then walk away?’ Mitch reached for her, but before he could slide his arm through her elbow, Ken lashed out and slapped Ella’s cheek.

  ‘You little bitch,’ he snarled, as Felicity screamed and clutched at her daughter. Mitch shoved Ken against the wall. Down the corridor people stopped to stare. A nurse scurried behind the counter and reached for the phone.

  ‘Enough,’ Dan barked. ‘Enough.’

  ‘I’ll see you in court, Trethowan,’ Ken spat at Mitch. He swung to face his sisters. ‘I want to see my mother.’

  ‘Sure,’ Georgina said, stepping aside and drawing first Ella then Felicity with her. No point in inflaming this further.

  Mitch reluctantly moved, directing a parting shot. ‘It’s too late to ask for forgiveness now.’

  Ken shot a venomous look at Mitch. The clunk of the door was like a full stop on the conversation.

  ‘Are you all right, Ella?’ Georgina asked, shaken by the hostilities and the sudden escalation. Even for her it was steep. ‘Did he really push her?’

  The handprint on Ella’s cheek was clear, but she was defiant still. ‘Granny D said something odd just before the RFDS got there and Mitch said Ken had been around for coffee. There was nothing for her to trip over where she fell. I asked her again last night and she told me it was an accident.’

  ‘So he didn’t push her.’

  ‘I don’t know for sure, but he was there and did nothing! And she told me Sinbad was one unhappy cat and I needed to be careful because Uncle Ken had it in for him after what he’d done. Those marks on Uncle Ken’s face are cat scratches. I’m sure.’

  ‘But we don’t have any proof, Ella,’ Felicity said. ‘I know you’re upset. We’re all upset, but I don’t think we should accuse him of murder.’

  ‘I know what Granny was trying to tell me last night and his behaviour just now confirms it for me. He’s an arsehole and he doesn’t deserve to see her.’

  ‘There’s nothing he can do to Ivy now. He broke her heart long before her fall,’ Mitch said.

  Georgina raised an eyebrow as Felicity looked to her for an answer. They were missing something important, but everyone’s temper was up.

  Dan took her hand again. ‘Let’s leave him space to clear out without another confrontation. We can wait down the end.’

  ‘Did he really go to the police to lodge a complaint? And surely he wouldn’t bother about this little spat,’ Georgina said as they walked along the corridor.

  ‘He can have another go if he likes,’ Mitch replied. ‘But shoving a man up against a wall right after he’s slapped a young woman is hardly going to result in an assault charge.’ He shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t mind having my day in court if it comes to that.’

  ‘It won’t come to that,’ Georgina said, trying to talk the situation down. ‘It’s his word against yours.’

  ‘And the cops in Limestone Hill know what you’re like. Bet you’ve never even had a speeding fine, have you?’ Felicity asked.

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘And probably no drink-driving convictions or an AVO, either,’ Georgina murmured.

  ‘I’d forgotten about them,’ Felicity said. ‘Ken’s always had a tendency to throw his weight around.’

  They sat in a cluster, short bursts of conversation between them. It was clear Felicity had already mapped out in her head what needed to be done. Grateful that she didn’t need to think right now, Georgina didn’t try to take control. Ella was texting in the corner, but seemed unbowed by the altercation with her uncle. The handprint on her cheek was still visible.

  Five minutes later Georgina looked up to find Ken glowering down at her.

  ‘We need to talk about the funeral.’

  The men either side of her bristled, but Felicity shook her head
as she stood up. ‘No, we don’t. I’ll let you know when it is.’

  Georgina blinked in surprise at her sister’s firm tone as Felicity continued. ‘Mum already decided what she wanted. The funeral director has it all. I’ll talk to them. Do you want to speak at the funeral?’ She didn’t give Ken time to respond. ‘Because I want to read her eulogy. It’s the least I can do.’ Felicity kept her eyes trained on her brother. Georgina couldn’t miss the flush that crept up her sister’s neck. For a brief moment she saw echoes of Ivy in the stubborn set of Felicity’s jaw. Little Lissie had grown a backbone – a titanium one.

  His shrug was less belligerent. ‘Suit yourself. I do want to say something, though. And the girls will be there.’

  ‘Of course. Have you told them?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘But I will.’ Some of his early belligerence seemed to have settled. ‘They’ll need time to get here with their kids.’

  ‘Of course. It will take at least a week to organise. Maybe longer. The lawyer will want to see us for the will too.’

  ‘The Denzells.’

  ‘I guess so.’

  ‘No. It’s a new one in Cairns,’ Mitch said, getting to his feet beside Felicity. Ken turned red.

  ‘Keep out of it, Trethowan.’

  Mitch stood easy, legs astride. ‘Suit yourself, but the Denzells know they don’t have the latest will. She sent them a letter. Made sure it was incontestable.’

  ‘More like you did,’ Ken spat at him.

  Mitch’s smile was tight. ‘I had nothing to do with it. I only know about it because the Cairns lawyer got lost finding Roseglen and I showed her the way. Ivy explained later what the visit was about. There’s nothing in it for me, mate.’ His jaw was solid. Though he’d folded his arms loosely over his chest, his fists were balled.

  The two men were like a couple of snarling hounds, and Ella looked ready to leap at her uncle. Georgina fought the urge to smile.

  Ken cast one last contemptuous look over them all and stalked off.

  ‘Can I see her?’ Mitch asked in the silence that followed Ken’s departure.