Written in the Stars

by Divya Anand

  [#Best-Buds@Glam—9:12 a.m.] Sitara: LOL! @Shirin, we have to run for the review with Ash!

  Sitara has left the chat.

  ‘Why’re all our reviews in this freezing room,’ Shirin grumbled as she rubbed her bare arms.

  It was a bad day to wear a sleeveless top. I was dressed in jeans and a shirt with a butterfly print on it. I had already unfolded the sleeves from elbow-length to knuckle-length so they covered my arms fully. I also had a spare cardigan in case I got too cold. Now, I handed it to Shirin who took it with a grateful smile. She busied herself by pulling a chair to the corner of the table where there was a beam of sunlight streaming in, in an attempt to get the most warmth. I started setting up the presentation.

  ‘Ah, we’re back to scaling Everest,’ Abhimanyu quipped as he walked in. He sat down in the seat next to me as I struggled to angle my chair in a way that I didn’t have to look at him. One by one, everyone else walked in and took their seats. There was some quiet murmuring as people chatted among themselves. The room fell silent as Ash walked in and took a seat at the head of the table.

  The next hour flew by.

  ‘Based on the data from the past two weeks, it’s evident that the new programme will bring in 1 million customers when we expand it,’ I concluded. I looked around the room, as everyone nodded and waited for Ash’s response. He squinted at the slide for a few seconds.

  And then, he got up and smiled.

  ‘This is fantastic work,’ he said, drawling on the ‘fan’ and rolling his ‘r’s.

  My heart beat faster. Ash never used words like ‘fantastic’. He always said only superlative projects deserved superlative praise.

  ‘This project will almost certainly get us funding. Folks, we need to prepare to present this to the investors,’ he added.

  I tried to control my grin. With this kind of feedback, it would be hard for Harsh to justify not giving me a promotion, even if he hated me.

  ‘Thanks, Ash,’ Harsh immediately jumped into the conversation, true to form. He was attempting to grab every bit of the credit. ‘We couldn’t have done it without the assistance of the entire team, including Sitara and the others in this room.’

  Ugh. He was giving me the barest credit possible. I was glad Ash had been in enough presentations to know I had done a lot of the work on this project, irrespective of the credit Harsh may try to claim. For someone who had done the barest minimum, Harsh spent a lot of his time projecting to Ash he was the one mentoring me to get these results.

  What an ass, I thought.

  ‘Yes, you’ve all worked hard and deserve a break,’ Ash said. ‘Let’s go out for drinks this evening. My treat.’

  The entire room whooped and cheered.

  Upasana, Shirin and I walked into the private room that Ranjani had reserved at the bar and made a beeline to the table. There was an array of dips, different kinds of chips, hummus and finger food set up.

  ‘Sour cream, garlic and onion dip,’ said Upasana, wrinkling her nose. ‘Only a sociopath would eat that at a work event. Or someone who doesn’t want to talk to anyone.’

  I laughed and served myself some hummus and pita bread. As we moved further ahead to check out the stunning array of pastries, Harsh walked by. He went directly to the sour cream, garlic and onion dip and served himself a large spoonful. Soon he was dunking chips into it and chewing them noisily.

  ‘I’m not surprised he went for the dip,’ Shirin said, as we giggled.

  I was so glad they’d finally forgiven me. This party would’ve been hell if we were still fighting.

  ‘Oh, hi, Abhimanyu,’ said Upasana loudly over my shoulder. I tried to silently communicate to my friends that I did not want to be left alone with him, but they were not in a mood to take the hint.

  ‘I was hoping to speak with Sitara,’ his voice came from behind me.

  ‘We were just chatting, she’s all yours,’ said Shirin with a wide grin. She threaded her arm through Upasana’s and left, leaving me with no choice but to speak with Abhimanyu.

  Some people have no loyalty. And to think they call themselves my ‘friends’.

  I turned and saw Abhimanyu standing with two drinks in his hand.

  ‘You’ve been avoiding me for a while . . . ’ he said matter-of-factly.

  ‘Yes,’ I said, too tired to come up with an excuse. ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Why?’ he said, taking a sip of his drink.

  I looked around to see if there was a way for me to gracefully exit this situation. Yet again, I evaluated whether my acting abilities would pass muster if I faked a heart attack. Now that the project was done, maybe I should spend my weekends practising my fake heart attack. It would help me at work parties.

  ‘Well, it wasn’t intentional,’ I said, holding the plate in front of me like a shield and backtracking like crazy. ‘I’ve been busy with the experiment. In fact, I was considering heading back to work after one drink to make sure everything is on track.’

  ‘I have to tell you something,’ he said shyly. ‘About trivia last week . . . ’

  ‘Oh, that’s old news,’ I said flippantly. I didn’t want to be treated to the story of how he was getting back together with his cheating ex. I would rather jump off the top of this roof.

  ‘No, I have to explain,’ he insisted. ‘Pooja showed up out of the blue and was waiting outside Last Call. I didn’t know she was coming. We aren’t together!’

  Oh. Oh.

  My gullible heart skipped a beat, while my brain frantically tried to control it from taking over. I wondered why he was telling me this. It wasn’t any of my business. I had already made my peace with the fact that we were just colleagues. But maybe, he was trying to be friends again? Or maybe, he was trying to tell me he really didn’t have anything to do with her any more?

  ‘Good,’ I said. And then, because I couldn’t help myself, I added, ‘I don’t think you should be with someone who treated you that badly.’

  I started walking away. I didn’t want to continue this conversation and I was starting to feel claustrophobic. I stepped away from the bar and went to the open terrace, gulping in the cold, evening air.

  ‘Wait . . . ’ Abhimanyu said as he followed me. ‘I got you a drink,’ he continued and handed me the second glass that he’d been clutching all this while.

  ‘How did you know what to get?’ I asked, staring at the melon sangria. It was exactly what I would’ve got myself.

  ‘I’m observant when I like someone,’ he said seriously.

  I felt a flutter in my stomach, but I chalked it up to some early hunger pangs. Why had I abandoned the plate of hummus on my way out? I was clearly getting dizzy from low blood sugar.

  ‘I really must check on the experiment . . . ’ I began, hoping to get away from here.

  ‘Do you ever stop thinking about work?’ He looked at me with a serious expression in his eyes. My heart was now beating so hard I could hear it throb.

  He took a sip of his drink.

  Suddenly, I felt like this could be my moment. Some people, like Prianca, got a fancy proposal at a cricket match. Others, like me, had to grab our moments wherever we got them. Even if it ended up being in the dingy corner of a terrace, near a dustbin surrounded by abandoned cigarette butts.

  ‘Sitara, I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but the moment never seemed right,’ he said. He took a deep breath before continuing, ‘I really, really like you.’

  I was completely overwhelmed. I had worked myself to the bone, it had taken me weeks to get my friends to talk to me again, and now, I was no longer able to deny I was completely and undoubtedly in love with this man who was supposed to be nothing but a colleague. It was too much. And so, I did what I always do when I’m flustered. I deflected in the worst possible way.

  ‘I assume you’ve finished matching our kundlis,’ I joked. I shivered and in the process also managed to awkwardly spill some of the sangria on myself.

  Great. Now I would reek of alcohol.

  ‘In the
spirit of honesty, I have to admit that my horoscope says you’re the one for me . . . ’ he admitted, bursting my happy bubble almost instantly.

  I blinked at him.

  For one insane, heart-stopping moment, I had thought my time had finally come. I believed he liked me, maybe even loved me, like I did him. With no strings attached and above all else.

  Stupid, stupid Sitara. Falling for a man who couldn’t be trusted, yet again. Here he was professing his feelings for me, but it was because a horoscope had said so? How could I trust that his feelings would last if they were based on a horoscope?

  He misread the expression on my face and took a step forward. Immediately, I took a few steps back. I needed space to process what was happening.

  ‘What are you saying?’ I said, hoping he would stop harping about the horoscope and tell me he liked me even if it said I was a vampire in disguise who would cause his immediate demise.

  ‘Yeah, there have been signs for the past month and a half,’ he said, adding yet another nail to the coffin of our non-existent relationship.

  He forged ahead, taking my silence as licence to share more, without realizing that he was making things worse with every word that came out of his mouth.

  ‘You remember the day we spoke after the Circle of Success session? That day, my horoscope said a chance encounter could result in a budding relationship . . . ’

  All I remembered was that the damned horoscope had said he would get an idea from unexpected quarters in a few days, and I had been preparing for that.

  ‘And the day you went to Ash without telling me? The horoscope said I shouldn’t ignore the sparks flying between me and a woman who knows what she wants . . . ’

  All I had wanted was to ‘strike when the iron was hot’ and get a senior colleague to push a project forward.

  Why on earth had I not read the rest of that horoscope? Who knew what other incorrect ‘signals’ it had called out?

  ‘It even said if I found a woman who stood up for me, I should never let her go. On the day you fought with Ash . . . ’ he said, stepping forward yet again.

  Shit, shit, shit.

  I fought with Ash because of my feelings for him, and he had chalked it up to a horoscope? I threw my career under a bus because of this man, and he believed I did it because some app said so?

  I was now fuming.

  ‘Every single thing that’s happened so far . . . ’ he began, but I couldn’t take it any longer.

  I held up my hand to signal him to stop talking. The fluttering in my stomach had been replaced by an ominous, sinking feeling. All this while, I had read the ‘work’ section of his horoscope and shut the app. But it seemed I should’ve also been reading the ‘personal’ section. That way, I could’ve made sure he didn’t think I was this mysterious ‘one’ the horoscope was hinting at. I didn’t want to be the shitty consolation prize he settled for just because his horoscope said so.

  ‘Abhimanyu, not every life decision needs to be guided by a horoscope,’ I said. ‘Sometimes you can think with your heart, instead of basing your decisions on someone else’s predictions!’

  He stepped closer to me and tried to reach out for my hand. I stepped back again.

  I couldn’t go any further behind than this because I was now directly in front of the dustbins. Another step and I’d be sitting inside one. I scrunched up my nose as I got a strong whiff of the rot emanating. ‘Just because your horoscope said I’m the one doesn’t mean that I am the one for you.’

  Not in the way that you’re the one for me, I thought as tears pricked my eyes. There had never been any terms and conditions attached to my feelings.

  ‘No, that’s not what I meant,’ he stuttered. ‘I like you for you, Sitara. The horoscope just confirmed what I already knew. I swear, my feelings would’ve stayed the same even if the horoscope had said you were the last woman that I should be with!’

  ‘I wish it had,’ I said sadly. ‘Then I would know you liked me for me, and not because of all these cosmic coincidences.’

  Something that had been rooting inside the dustbin now brushed past my ankle and I stifled a shriek. Don’t be a rat, don’t be a rat!

  ‘Sitara . . . ’ he began, and I held up my hand to stop him from talking again.

  ‘Abhimanyu, if a horoscope can convince you that you’re in love with me today, it will convince you that you no longer love me tomorrow. I don’t want to break-up just because AstroZone decided that all Ariens will have relationship troubles!’

  A relationship is primarily made of two people, and in this one, there would always be three. Abhimanyu, me and AstroZone!

  I had been through a relationship where the person was not ready to fully commit to me, and I had been through that heartbreak. I was not signing up for that shit a second time. Even if it meant that my heart felt like it was shattering right now and piercing through every nerve ending on my skin.

  ‘I would never do that,’ he insisted. He ran his hands through his hair, looking even more stressed than he had on the day Ash went after him. ‘Sitara, I like you. Forget what I said about the horoscope.’

  ‘I wish I could forget it,’ I said sadly. ‘After everything you’ve told me about horoscopes, you can’t claim it doesn’t matter to you. You won’t even book a meeting room without considering it!’

  ‘It’s not like that . . . ’ he began with gritted teeth, but didn’t know how to end his sentence.

  How could the man who followed his horoscope for every move in his life now claim he wouldn’t just because he liked me?

  ‘I’m sure your horoscope said that today is a good day to tell someone special in your life that you like them,’ I said softly.

  He smiled, thinking I was finally giving in.

  I rolled my eyes and pushed him out of the way, almost knocking the drink out of his hands.

  ‘Your horoscope was wrong. It’s a terrible day to have made this confession.’

  I didn’t know if he replied.

  I didn’t wait to hear it.

  26

  Mars and Aries Pair Up to Bring Fireworks

  I had now left two office parties in a row without telling anyone. Yet again, I found myself crossing the street and running as far away from the pub as I could. I didn’t want anyone from work spotting me while I was waiting for the Uber. I found a street that was tucked away from the main road and lurked there while I called my cab.

  The next morning, I did something that was completely out of character for me. I texted Harsh that I was unwell and wouldn’t be in office. I prided myself on a near-perfect attendance record, and I’d even won many of those perfect attendance certificates at school so it felt really odd to randomly take a day off. I knew there would be others straggling into work or taking ‘sick’ leave since people tended to have massive hangovers after office parties, thanks to the free flowing booze. But it was a mark of pride for me to be the person who still showed up. Nobody cared I wasn’t in office, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty, almost as though someone would blame me for taking time off. But I couldn’t face the alternative—seeing Abhimanyu. Or worse, having to continue the conversation about his feelings for me. Even though I knew that hiding out at home wasn’t a permanent solution, it was enough for today.

  And so, I curled up on the couch in our living room, dressed in a pair of old striped pyjama shorts and a tank top. I was halfway through re-reading The Princess Diaries when Kavya emerged. She went straight to the kitchen and didn’t say a word until she emerged fifteen minutes later to plonk a bottle of water and a plate of Maggi in front of me.

  I ignored the food and turned the page.

  ‘Come on, you have to admit this is funny,’ she said.

  I placed my favourite bookmark to mark my spot, shut the book and stared at her.

  ‘What’s so funny,’ I wailed. ‘I thought we were falling for each other, but it turns out he was just falling for that bloody horoscope!’

  She pushed the bowl of no
odles towards me and the smell wafted into my nose. I grabbed the bowl as she moved the pile of cushions near me so she could sit on it. I made sure to move my phone under the pile where I couldn’t see it. If the phone was anywhere near my hand, I was unable to help myself.

  Last night, I’d been on a torturous roller-coaster ride of flipping from Abhimanyu’s Facebook, Pooja’s Instagram, YouTube videos of Arjun’s proposal, and endlessly tracking the performance stats for the experiment. I did not want to deal with the Internet any more. Burying myself in the pages of a book was the perfect excuse. After all, Meg Cabot wouldn’t interrupt every few pages with a notification.

  ‘Come on . . . ’ Kavya began as I took my first spoonful. ‘Think about it. There you were, sitting in a meeting room thinking today is a great day to get your project approved. Meanwhile, Abhimanyu was sitting there wondering if this was the chance encounter that would lead to love.’

  I smiled weakly.

  ‘You were busy thinking he wanted to help you achieve your project goals to reap career rewards. Meanwhile, as you’re busy brainstorming and arguing, he was thinking, “sparks of the romantic kind are in the air at work today”.’

  ‘Yeah, right,’ I said. I took another spoonful of the noodles.

  She stretched out her hand. In it, was my phone. The wily woman had managed to dig it out from behind the cushions while I had been distracted by the noodles. And, she had managed to open up the AstroZone app.

  I looked at the page she had pulled up and my heart plummeted.

  She was right.

  ‘Well, that’s only one day . . . ’

  ‘Spend more time on longer-term projects, she thought, on the day he was discovering that a long-term love will make itself clearly known,’ she giggled.

  I couldn’t believe my ears.

  I moved my chair closer to her so I could see this. For the first time this morning, I peered into my phone. Every single time I assumed that he behaved a certain way because the horoscope had told him it was good for his career, the personal section of the same horoscope had also been hinting that he’d found his soulmate.