Kamikaze Kangaroos!
Page 40
Then Gill shouted the news up to her, as though she’d only just remembered it – and Mum, all five-foot-one-and-three-quarters of her, turned and sprinted back down the ‘up’ escalator as fast as her stumpy little legs would carry her.
Alas, her somewhat gnomish stature didn’t lend itself well to such acrobatics, and after a good few minutes of full-tilt downhill stair climbing, just about keeping pace with the upward speed of the escalator, she gave up and let it carry her to the top, before taking the matching escalator back down.
There, she embraced the happy couple, and whispered a few choice words in Chris’s ear, which none of us were to find out about until many months later.
“If you hurt my daughter,” she’d said quite cheerfully, “I will kill you.”
And then it really was time for her to go, and Gill and Chris were free to announce their engagement to the rest of the world.
Roo and I made our engagement public soon afterwards.
All of which left us with a couple of interesting dilemmas to sort out.
Because Gill and Chris were now living in his mum’s house in New Zealand.
And Roo and I planned to set up shop permanently in Perth.
Most of the families concerned lived thousands of miles away in England – apart from the non-Australian contingent of Roo’s relatives, who were Dutch.
We had two weddings to arrange, on one side of the world or the other – or both – and not quite enough money between all of us to pay for the cake.
Oh, and for those of us who were still English, there would be the small matter of emigrating.
“Don’t worry love, it will all work out,” Roo said.
And deep down in my heart, I knew that she was right.
Somehow, things always did work out for us.
And after all, it was only marriage! How hard could it be?
One thing was for sure – whatever we managed to organise, it was bound to be an epic affair.
Chaotic.
Potentially disastrous.
And, at least from my perspective, utterly terrifying.
I’m not a big fan of responsibility, you see. In fact, I regularly wake up in a cold sweat, having had a nightmare about owning a house and a car, struggling to make mortgage repayments, and holding down a job where they didn’t try to pay me in beer vouchers.
And what did this mean for my life of adventures? Was it over?
Was I on the verge of being domesticated?
Nah. Not a chance!
I had finally found the woman of my dreams, and she was very nearly as crazy as I was.
So far she’d seen me at my best (which, I’ll grant you, isn’t fantastic) and she’d seen me close to my worst; and she’d seen me washed off the side of Australia’s national monument, so I like to think she had some inkling of what was in store for her.
“Hey, does this mean we get a honeymoon?” Roo asked. “We could go anywhere in the world! How exciting!”
“Erm… yes, quite,” I said.
One more thing to add to the list.
“And maybe you could publish that book you’ve been writing since before we met…” she added.
Ouch.
And then of course, there was the biggest question of all to answer; because getting married was just a happy speed-bump on the road trip of our lives.
For now, for once, we could see at least that far ahead.
But what was around the corner?
What would happen next?
And you know what? We’ve just about run out of room here, so I guess I’ll have to keep that surprise for the next instalment…
THE END!
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Sequel to Kamikaze Kangaroos is OUT NOW!
Thank-you so much for buying and reading Kamikaze Kangaroos! If you’re interested in what happened after the end of this book, you’ll be pleased to know that the sequel – ‘Can I Kiss Her Yet?’ – has just been released!
Check it out here: Can I Kiss Her Yet?
Or type Can I Kiss Her Yet into the Amazon store of your choice.
If, however, Kamikaze Kangaroos didn’t make any sense at all, it’s probably because you haven’t read my first two books – in which case, kudos for making it this far!
Here are links to them, in case you’re interested:
‘That Bear Ate My Pants!’ – the book that started it all, following my stint as a volunteer in an exotic animal refuge in Ecuador:
That Bear Ate My Pants!
‘Don’t Need The Whole Dog!’ – the sequel, based partially in the UK, and then following my adventures in Thailand:
Don’t Need The Whole Dog!
A fifth book, about an epic, six-month long adventure around Asia, will be out shortly. I promise!
Meanwhile, you can always visit my website, which features pictures of Rusty, Roo, Gill, and all our adventures around Australia (as well as pictures from my first two books). It's here:
www.TonyJamesSlater.com
Also, you can find me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/TonyJamesSlater
or catch me on Facebook: http://facebook.com/TonyJamesSlater
or if you get the urge, you can always email me: TonyJamesSlater@hotmail.com
or see what’s happening on my crazy blog: http://AdventureWithoutEnd.com
If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a review on Amazon – it doesn’t have to be long! Even a couple of words can help convince other readers to try it – and word of mouth is the best form of recommendation an author can get. I really appreciate my reviews, and I read every single one. Thanks in advance!
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About the Author
Tony James Slater is a very, very strange man. He believes himself to be indestructible, despite considerable evidence to the contrary. He is often to be found making strange faces whilst pretending to be attacked by inanimate objects. And sometimes – not always, but often enough to be of concern – his testicles hang out of the holes in his trousers.
It is for this reason (amongst others) that he chooses to spend his life far from mainstream civilization, tackling ridiculous challenges and subjecting himself to constant danger. He gets hurt quite a lot.
To see pictures from his adventures, read Tony’s blog, or complain about his shameless self promotion, please visit:
www.TonyJamesSlater.com
But BE WARNED! Some of the writing is in red.
Table of Contents
Concerning Rusty
Meeting The Locals
The Curve
Ready For The Off
Heading Up
All Creatures Great And Small
Happy Returns
Parklife
Getting High
Why Not To Drive At Night
Rest and Repair
Road Trip
Beachin’
Horseplay
Hell’s Crack
Return To Hell’s Crack
Escape From Hell’s Crack
Smashing Pumpkins
And Then…
Where Do We Go From Here?
Back To Nature
Field Day
Revelation
Departure
Under Pressure
Dressed To Kill
Rockslide
Mine Kamp
Strange Bedfellows
Incorporating Fieldwork
The Kangaroo Suicides
Good Company
Something for Nothing
The Tree House
Kuta Beach
Another Day In Paradise
Life Underground
Getting Barred
The Things You Have To Do
Lies That Trevor Told Us
George Gets Pushy
Be Prepared
First Steps
Staying On Track
Supply and Demand
Halfway Home
The Memory of Trees
Point Of No Return
Desert Crossing
Mum; Incoming
Mum; Outbound
Mum; Addendum
Student Digs
A Christmas Miracle
Separation Anxiety
Melbourne Bound
Inflatable Love
Kraziness
InstallEx
State of The Union
Tricky Situations
The End Of An Era
New Zealand
Ruapehu Alpine Lifts
Dirty Jobs
Uneasy Rider
The Great Storm
Rescue
Gill For The Win
Countdown
White Out
Ma Homies
Full Circle
Epilogue
Your Free Ebook Is Waiting!
Sequel to Kamikaze Kangaroos is OUT NOW!
‘Free Country’ by George Mahood
‘More Ketchup than Salsa’ by Joe Cawley
About the Author