Mathieu

by Irene Ferris

  “Just when I think your kind has thought of every device or machine that could be used to kill, they surprise me with something new. Or in this case something old made new again.”

  Looking at the item in question, Mathieu thought to himself that it wasn’t as much a new invention but one that simply hadn’t been used to great effect before.

  “I thought the longbows were impressive,” continued Gadreel. “But these little things are able to punch through plate with no problem at all.”

  Gadreel continued through the field of corpses, stopping here and there to look closely at this or that.

  “Of course, I’d say that the longbows won this battle.” It looked around and then said to Mathieu, “What was the name of this place again? I forget.” It paused and then sighed. “I command you.”

  “Agincourt.” Mathieu felt the word pried from his lips.

  “Agincourt.” Gadreel repeated the name and then smiled. “This will be a battle that goes down in history. Mark my words.”

  “Yes, master.” Mathieu said the words automatically now. Anything less would result in punishment and pain.

  Gadreel snorted. “Of course, you don’t think that this was an honorable battle, do you? Archers against cavalry?”

  It was best to remain silent and look within when Gadreel was in one of these moods. Mathieu wondered why he didn’t follow that wisdom more often.

  “Answer me. I command you.” Gadreel said in a bored sing-song tone.

  “No, master. It is not honorable. The archers can kill the cavalry before they even have a chance to engage the enemy.”

  “Hmmm.” Gadreel appeared to ponder the issue for a long moment before speaking again. “I think that I agree with you from the viewpoint of chivalry. From the viewpoint of practicality and of winning, I have to agree with the use of archers. Plus the fear that the cloud of arrows inspired was sweet indeed. Do you not agree?”

  Mathieu remained silent.

  “Do you not agree?” Gadreel said again. Its voice was menacing.

  After a long pause Mathieu spoke. “Perhaps.”

  “Perhaps nothing. You felt it as much as I did.” Gadreel made an exasperated gesture and turned back to the battlefield. “It was erotic. The sight of all those arrows whizzing in to kill them, blocking out the sun, punching through their armor, knocking their horses from under them. That was sweet.”

  “Perhaps.” Mathieu repeated the word very deliberately.

  “Once again you fail to realize that you are mine and that which is sweet for me is sweet for you.” Gadreel spoke as it kicked the corpse of a longbowman.

  “I don’t think so.” The words escaped Mathieu’s lips before he realized what he had said.

  Gadreel smiled, a slow, evil smile that promised pain and fear and all the horrible things it could do. “I think so. I know so. You’re bound to me and that means you’re like me.” It walked up to Mathieu and grabbed the iron chain. “After all, we already are alike in our own little way, aren’t we?”

  “No.” Mathieu said the word as defiance against the Demon lord. Inside he knew that Gadreel was probably right but he would never admit it. “I am nothing like you.”

  “Oh, I disagree. And I think I should punish you for disagreeing with me. It’s very disrespectful. Maybe a good beating before I force you on one these bodies would change your attitude.”

  “Hardly. You’ve done worse, after all.”

  “True. True, that. Perhaps this time I should change you into a woman and leave you amongst the army. You’re pretty enough to be a woman now, you know. Maybe I’d keep you that way long enough for them to put a brat or two into you to teach you a lesson.”

  Mathieu met the cold blue eyes and sneered even as he felt terror inside. “I doubt sincerely that you’d do such a thing. If you’re not the one inflicting the pain, you don’t want anything to do with it.”

  Gadreel processed this for a moment and then nodded. “True enough. I’m the jealous sort. But that doesn’t change the meat of the matter. You’re still bound to me and you’re still changing to suit me.”

  “I still hate you with all my being and soul,” Mathieu replied. “I’ll fight you till there is no breath in my body.”

  “That’s fine.” Gadreel smiled as it looked around the battlefield. “After all, hate and love are so closely linked, they’re almost interchangeable. I’m halfway there.”

  “Fuck you.” Mathieu said with no heat at all.

  “You already have. You’ve been enjoying it lately, if memory serves correctly.”

  Mathieu felt his cheeks heat with color. “You give me no other choice. It doesn’t change the fact that I despise you.”

  “No. But that doesn’t matter. Eventually you’re still going to be a reflection of me.” Gadreel turned and gestured towards the battlefield with its carrion birds and stench. “This is what I am. And this is what you are. I feel compelled to repeat that you’ve fought the truth so long and so hard that you’ve forgotten that you’re going to be what I make you.”

  “No.” Mathieu said with a flat finality.

  “Oh? So instead you’ll just be one of the many bastard sons of the Count of Anjou, not even worthy of the occasional visit except when he comes to get your mother with child again?”

  “Anything is better than being what you are.” Mathieu winced inwardly again. When would he ever learn?

  “Anything?” Gadreel smiled wickedly as it pulled off its gauntlets and stalked forward. “I don’t think you’ll say that after I’m done with you this time.”

  Chapter Twenty - Five

  Mathieu’s feet carried him down the hill and away from the house, back towards the woods. The moon was almost full and it illuminated the grass and trees with a silvery light. Crickets chirped around him, accompanied by the occasional sound of a night bird or bat.

  He slowed and then stopped near the edge of the woods. Casting his senses out, he first felt the wards set on the property lines and then behind him the blankness that was the house.

  The wards got a closer inspection this time. They were old. Old enough to predate not only Amanda’s occupation of the house but also old enough to predate anyone currently living. They had a worn feel to them but they were still strong. Someone long ago had placed them and placed them well.

  “But for what?” The sound of his own voice startled him and he jumped before making a disgusted noise at his own skittishness.

  He traced a symbol in the air, and made another disgusted noise as nothing happened. “Of course. They won’t let me leave without an Orbis.”

  He then turned his attention to the ground at his feet. With a quick glance at the knife, he fell to his knees and began to cut a perfect circle into the grass.

  It was hard going. The roots were deep and wanted to pull the knife away but he controlled the blade as he finished the first circuit.

  The second was harder because he had to reach out further and not overbalance as he made the cut but he still managed to complete it.

  He leaned back on his haunches and frowned at his circle. He could work on the living grass but it was not his preferred medium. With a shake of his head, he brought the knife down again and cut the sod into sections and began to pry it up. It would be easier to inscribe the spell on the bare earth and then put the sod back down. It would also help cover his tracks by obscuring the symbol for his destination.

  He’d almost finished that dirty job when he heard a single set of footsteps come near from the direction of the house.

  “Two perfect circles the first time. In the dark, no less. I’m impressed.”

  Marcus did sound impressed but Mathieu didn’t stop to look. He cut and pulled another piece of sod up and laid it next to the circle. “I’ve had centuries of practice. The penalty for not getting it right the first time could be…” He paused and searched for a polite word. “Severe. I learned quickly.”

  Making a noncommittal grunt, Marcus paused and then spoke. “Listen, I k
now you feel bad about what just happened.”

  “No,” Mathieu interrupted as he kept pulling at the grass. “I don’t feel bad. In fact, I feel refreshed and invigorated. And that is why I have to leave.”

  “I don’t understand.” Marcus said quietly.

  “I don’t expect you to understand because I don’t understand. All I know is that pain and anger and death attract me and make me stronger. I don’t want to be stronger. I don’t want to feel drawn to it. I don’t want to feel anything anymore. I don’t want to be alive anymore.” He punctuated each sentence with another rip on the grass. “I shouldn’t be alive. I am an unnatural thing.” He covered his eyes and bent his head in shame.

  “Are you done feeling sorry for yourself yet?” Mathieu finally turned and looked up. The moon had turned Marcus’ blonde hair silver and gave his face lines and shadows that didn’t exist. He held a coffee mug in each hand that he balanced carefully as he sat down outside the circle. He passed over the one in his left hand. “I thought you could use this.”

  “Because the whole world goes to shit without coffee?” At Marcus’ nod, Mathieu wiped his filthy hands on the grass and then took the mug. “Merci’,” he said quietly as he held the warm mug to his forehead.

  “Jenn went to change into some dry clothes but she’s going to be out here pretty quickly, so we’d better get this conversation over before she gets here.” Marcus drank his coffee and closed his eyes in pleasure at the taste.

  “Do we now?”

  “Yeah. Because I’m going to say some things I don’t want her to hear, and you’re going to say some things you don’t want her to know. And we both know that it’s just better to keep some things out of the Foundation’s grasp. I love my wife, but there are certain things that I’m not comfortable with.”

  “Oh.” Mathieu drank his coffee.

  Marcus shifted on the grass. “Did you mean to do what you did in there?”

  “No. I would never purposely hurt anyone.”

  Marcus was quiet for a long moment before speaking again. “I believe you.”

  “Thank you. I mean it.”

  “I know. Is what happened what you were so afraid of happening? I know you said it was hard to focus, but I didn’t realize that was what you meant.”

  Mathieu spoke very quietly. “Gadreel often tormented me by saying that I would turn into something like it because I was bound and would take on its traits because of that. It appears all my struggles were in vain because it was right.”

  “Hardly.” Marcus leaned over and tapped the grass beside Mathieu’s knee to make his point. “Gadreel was a bloodthirsty creature with no other goal but to cause misery. I hardly think you want to do that.”

  “No, but if I can’t control it I am no better.” Mathieu picked up the knife in his free hand and weighed it in his hand.

  “Then you’ll learn better control.” Marcus said quietly. “If he didn’t defeat you while he was alive, I don’t think he’s going to beat you after he’s dead. You’re human and you’ve got the ability to dream and hope. I doubt he could have done that. You’ve got the ability to give for others instead of pleasing only yourself. They sure as hell can’t do that. You’ve got the ability to feel shame for what happened. I know that’s not one of their traits.”

  “No. It certainly isn’t.” Mathieu looked back to the house and saw the door open and cast a square of golden light on the ground before closing. “I think your wife is coming.”

  Marcus straightened, looked over his shoulder before leaning forward to continue in a low voice. “Hugh is going to be here tomorrow afternoon.” At Mathieu’s pained look, he continued. “I don’t like him any more than you. I think he’s a weasel and I don’t appreciate what he did to you earlier.” He paused again. “He’s playing some kind of game. I think you could have made it through regular travel if he hadn’t purposely triggered you like that, and don’t think he didn’t do it on purpose to shake that spell out of you.”

  “I don’t know about the rest but I find I must agree on the weasel comparison.”

  “I figured you would. He’s after something and I don’t think it’s just his daughter. There’s too much here that isn’t adding up right.”

  Mathieu drank the last of his coffee and looked out to the woods. “Do you feel the wards out there?”

  “Where?” At Mathieu’s nod, he turned towards the woods and concentrated. His eyes widened after a moment. “Yeah. But those are old. Very old.”

  “Exactly my point.” Mathieu could see Jenn halfway to them. “Whoever laid those was trying to keep something out or something in. Most wards would collapse when the person who laid them died—classically they’re powered by your own personal energies. These, on the other hand, are tied to and powered off of the land itself. They’re set so I would have to use an Orbis to leave here instead of simply using an air sigil.” With a sideways glance at Marcus, he asked quietly, “Has anyone ever investigated the history of the house?”

  “I don’t know, but I’d be willing to bet my left kidney that Hugh did before he bought this for his little girl.”

  “The one who doesn’t believe in magic?” Mathieu asked in the most innocent voice he could dredge up.

  “Yeah. Her.” Marcus looked at the circle as Jenn came up behind him. “Where were you going to go? Your mountaintop?”

  “Probably. I don’t think I’d decided yet.”

  “You can’t go.” Jenn walked to the edge of the circle and crossed her arms. “You promised me.”

  “I was also almost responsible for you having innocent blood on your hands.” Mathieu nodded back towards the house. “You might have forgotten that small detail but I certainly haven’t.”

  “You didn’t mean to.” Jenn said it firmly, a statement of fact. “And besides, Susan hardly counts as ‘innocent’. I’d say morally ambiguous blood.

  “I have no way of judging the status of her blood. Let us just say you should never have blood on your hands, innocent or corrupt or morally flexible. It would be an obscenity.”

  Jenn sighed. “What happened, happened. No one can change the past. Let’s move forward instead.” She paused and then continued sharply, “It’s not like you have any right to say what I have on my hands, anyway.”

  “Moving forward is not an option.” Mathieu spun the coffee cup in his hands. “I am a danger to those around me. Not to either of you, of course.” He looked up and met Jenn’s eyes. The moonlight bled the color from them but gave her hair darker tones. “I would never harm you or anyone you love, Jenn. Never. I swear that on all that is left of me.”

  Marcus sat quietly while his wife dropped down next to him. “I trust you, Mathieu. Marcus trusts you or he wouldn’t be out here talking to you. And we trust you because we want to, not because we have to.”

  “I do not trust myself.” Mathieu picked up the knife and began to carve the characters of his spell from the living earth. “I am certainly not worthy of it from you.”

  “That’s too bad, because you have it whether you want it or not.” Jenn leaned forward and put her hand in the path of the knife. “Eddie and Susan found something up in Mander’s bedroom. We think you should see it.”

  “I think I should leave here before I cause any more problems.” Mathieu waited for her hand to move, but it didn’t.

  “Let him finish, Jenn.” Marcus said quietly.

  She turned to him with an angry expression. “You can’t be serious. You can’t just let him go.”

  “No, I don’t want to let him go.” Marcus nodded back to Mathieu. “But I think we need to let him have a way out. Something that he knows he can fall back on.”

  Mathieu raised one eyebrow and Marcus continued. “Finish your circle and cover it up. You were going to do that anyway, right? Then come back to the house and see what they found. You know we can’t figure this out without you. If you think things are going to go badly or that you’re going to have a repeat performance of tonight, you’ve got a way o
ut. No one,” he said with a meaningful look at Jenn, “from the Foundation—especially Amanda’s father—will know. Do we have an agreement?”

  Mathieu looked back into the woods and studied the wards for a long moment. There was something here, something old and hidden. He looked back at the two of them and a thought crossed his mind, If I go, whatever it is here might hurt her—them--as well. He finally nodded. “Agreed.”

  Jenn glared at her husband for a long moment and then sighed and lifted her hand. “Fine. Finish it and we’ll help you cover it up.”

  “Thank you, but I would prefer to cover it myself. I would not want anything to be damaged in the process. Not that I am implying that you would do so on purpose, of course.”

  “Of course not.” Jenn huffed and then stood, brushed the seat of her jeans and turned back to the house. “I’ll tell the others you’ll be back in a few. Once you’ve washed up, of course. Don’t you dare track all that crud into a clean house.”

  She paused and looked over her shoulder at Mathieu. “I knew you wouldn’t let me get hurt, you know. Even though I was scared, I just knew.”

  “Your faith in me is misplaced.” Mathieu nodded to Marcus who was gathering up the coffee mugs and preparing to stand. “Your husband is much more worthy of such regard. I see why you married him.”

  “Oh, I knew that ages ago. He’s great, isn’t he? Jenn smiled, dimples visible even in the dark.

  “I just married her for her money.” Marcus shrugged and ducked a rock tossed in his direction. “And the sex. The sex is nice too.”

  “Get your ass back to the house before I kick it down there, Marcus Lee Hascomb.” Jenn yelled.

  Marcus shrugged. “There’s a hose next to the kitchen door. I’d say you should wash up there so you don’t incur her wrath. You wouldn’t like it.” Then he paused. “But knowing what I know now, maybe you would?” He gave a short, sharp laugh and walked back to the house, leaving Mathieu alone in the moonlight to lay out a spell, preserve it and pack down the sod back in place. He left a white rock in the middle of the circle to mark the location before making his way back to the house that was blank to all but his human senses.