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Rhapsody in Plain Yellow

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by Marilyn Chin




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  for my mother, Wong Yuet Kuen, 1932‒1994

  and my grandmother, Fong Sui Lin, 1907‒1996

  Contents

  Blues on Yellow

  That Half Is Almost Gone

  The Colonial Language Is English

  Take a Left at the Waters of Samsara

  Chinese Quatrains (The Woman in Tomb 44)

  Emilies: Aria for My Mother

  Millennium, Six Songs

  Cauldron

  Broken Chord Sequence

  Altar (#3)

  Hospital Interlude

  Hospital in Oregon

  Song of the Giant Calabash

  Hong Kong Fathersong

  Get Rid of the X

  How Deep Is the River of God?

  I Am Waiting

  Libations, Song 10

  Variations on an Ancient Theme: The Drunken Husband

  Bold Beauty

  The True Story of Mortar and Pestle

  The True Story of Mr. and Mrs. Wong

  The Cock’s Wife

  Where We Live Now (Vol. 3, #4)

  Blues on Yellow (#2)

  Horse Horse Hyphen Hyphen

  Tonight while the Stars Are Shimmering

  Bad Date Polytich, Eight Poems

  Bad Date

  Family Restaurant (#1)

  Family Restaurant (#2)

  Empathy

  Blues on Yellow (#3)

  Folk Song Revisited

  Ohio/Ohio

  So, You Fucked John Donne

  Identity Poem (#99)

  To Pursue the Limitless

  Summer Sonatina

  Horseyear

  Rhapsody in Plain Yellow

  Notes

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  The stain of love

  Is upon the world

  Yellow, yellow, yellow

  WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS

  Blues on Yellow

  The canary died in the gold mine, her dreams got lost in the sieve.

  The canary died in the gold mine, her dreams got lost in the sieve.

  Her husband the crow killed under the railroad, the spokes hath shorn his wings.

  Something’s cookin’ in Chin’s kitchen, ten thousand yellow-bellied sapsuckers baked in a pie.

  Something’s cookin’ in Chin’s kitchen, ten thousand yellow-bellied sapsuckers baked in a pie.

  Something’s cookin in Chin’s kitchen, die die yellow bird, die die.

  O crack an egg on the griddle, yellow will ooze into white.

  O crack an egg on the griddle, yellow will ooze into white.

  Run, run, sweet little Puritan, yellow will ooze into white.

  If you cut my yellow wrists, I’ll teach my yellow toes to write.

  If you cut my yellow wrists, I’ll teach my yellow toes to write.

  If you cut my yellow fists, I’ll teach my yellow feet to fight.

  Do not be afraid to perish, my mother, Buddha’s compassion is nigh.

  Do not be afraid to perish, my mother, our boat will sail tonight.

  Your babies will reach the promised land, the stars will be their guide.

  I am so mellow yellow, mellow yellow, Buddha sings in my veins.

  I am so mellow yellow, mellow yellow, Buddha sings in my veins.

  O take me to the land of the unreborn, there’s no life on earth without pain.

  Rhapsody in Plain Yellow

  That Half Is Almost Gone

  That half is almost gone,

  the Chinese half,

  the fair side of a peach,

  darkened by the knife of time,

  fades like a cruel sun.

  In my thirtieth year

  I wrote a letter to my mother.

  I had forgotten the character

  for “love.” I remember vaguely

  the radical “heart.”

  The ancestors won’t fail to remind you

  the vital and vestigial organs

  where the emotions come from.

  But the rest is fading.

  A slash dissects in midair,

  ai, ai, ai, ai,

  more of a cry than a sigh

  (and no help from the phoneticist).

  You are a Chinese!

  My mother was adamant.

  You are a Chinese?

  My mother less convinced.

  Are you not Chinese?

  My mother now accepting.

  As a cataract clouds her vision,

  and her third daughter marries

  a Protestant West Virginian

  who is “very handsome and very kind.”

  The mystery is still unsolved—

  the landscape looms

  over man. And the gaffer-hatted fishmonger—

  sings to his cormorant.

  And the maiden behind the curtain

  is somebody’s courtesan.

  Or, merely Rose Wong’s aging daughter

  Pondering the blue void.

  You are a Chinese—said my mother

  who once walked the fields of her dead—

  Today, on the 36th anniversary of my birth,

  I have problems now

  even with the salutation.

  The Colonial Language Is English

  Heaven manifests its duality

  My consciousness on earth is twofold

  My parents speak with two tongues

  My mother’s tongue is Toisan

  My father’s tongue is Cantonese

  The colonial language is English

  I and thou, she and thee

  My mother is of two minds

  The village and the family

  My mother loves me, I am certain

  She moulded my happiness in her womb

  My mother loves my brother, certainly

  His death was not an enigma

  Yet, it, too, had its mystery

  I had willed it in my heart

  I had condemned him in his crib

  When I touched his round, Buddha face

  Drank in his soft, infant beauty

  Cain and Abel had a sister

  Her name is Tiny Pearl

  Too precious to be included in their story

  Her small throat trilled in vain

  The Tao of which we speak is not the eternal Tao

  The name that we utter is not the eternal name

  My mother is me, my father is thee

  As we drown in the seepage of Sutter Mill

  Take a Left at the Waters of Samsara

  There is a bog of sacred water

  Behind a hedgerow of wild madder

  Near the grave of my good mother

  Tin cans blossom there

  The rust shimmers like amber

  A diorama of green gnats

  Ecstatic in their veil dance

  A nation of frogs regale

  Swell-throated, bass-toned

  One belts and rages, the others follow

  They fuck blissfully

  Trapped in their cycle

  Of rebirth, transient love

  Unprepared for higher ground

  And I, my mother’s aging girl

  Myopic, goat-footed

  Got snagged on an unmarked trail

  The road diverged; I took

  The one less traveled

  Blah, blah

  I sit at her grave for hours

  A slow drizzle purifies my flesh

  I still yearn for her womb

  And can’t detach

  I chant new poems, my best fascicle

  Stupid pupil, the truth

  Is an
oxymoron and exact

  Eternity can’t be proven to the dead

  What is the void but motherlessness?

  The song bellies up

  The sun taketh

  The rain ceases to bless

  Chinese Quatrains (The Woman in Tomb 44)

  The aeroplane is shaped like a bird

  Or a giant mechanical penis

  My father escorts my mother

  From girlhood to unhappiness

  A dragonfly has iridescent wings

  Shorn, it’s a lowly pismire

  Plucked of arms and legs

  A throbbing red pepperpod

  Baby, she’s a girl

  Pinkly propped as a doll

  Baby, she’s a pearl

  An ulcer in the oyster of God

  Cry little baby clam cry

  The steam has opened your eyes

  Your secret darkly hidden

  The razor is sharpening the knife

  Abandoned taro-leaf boat

  Its lonely black sail broken

  The corpses are fat and bejeweled

  The hull is thoroughly rotten

  The worm has entered the ear

  And out the nose of my father

  Cleaned the pelvis of my mother

  And ringed around her fingerbone

  One child beats a bedpan

  One beats a fishhook out of wire

  One beats his half sister on the head

  Oh, teach us to fish and love

  Don’t say her boudoir is too narrow

  She could sleep but in one cold bed

  Don’t say you own many horses

  We escaped on her skinny mare’s back

  Man is good said Meng-Tzu

  We must cultivate their natures

  Man is evil said Hsun-Tzu

  There’s a worm in the human heart

  He gleaned a beaded purse from Hong Kong

  He procured an oval fan from Taiwan

  She married him for a green card

  He abandoned her for a blonde

  My grandmother is calling her goslings

  My mother is summoning her hens

  The sun has vanished into the ocean

  The moon has drowned in the fen

  Discs of jade for her eyelids

  A lozenge of pearl for her throat

  Lapis and kudzu in her nostrils

  They will rob her again and again

  Emilies: Aria for My Mother

  (SHATTERED SONNETS, SERIES 1–3)

  My soul upon a messy Eucalyptus

  a condor’s eye view

  (she, too, a dying species)

  I am propped horizontal

  hands on chest

  white silk blouse to throat

  Rouge: blue unguent

  pink matte

  a bullet of passion

  I wear as an amulet

  a centimeter from my heart

  Amazing Grace Yeah amazing!

  no questioning of whose God

  Which dharma? Whose stupa?

  The requiem is a freeway’s susurrus

  a tap/tapping of the nails

  Signed

  sealed

  delivered

  I’m yours

  trill Stevie’s blind hymnal

  into the

  Digger’s Distant Earphones

  O the blue consciouness of ox

  His flanks bleared from my gaze

  (he doesn’t have a pension)

  Nor

  should I give a damn now

  O the sky and the science of wilting

  asters chrysanthemum gladiolas

  ecstatic colors

  white blight bright purple

  Bled Dyed

  in Suzuki’s giant hothouse

  the lapels the wrists the ardor

  just a shredded hindrance

  More to sweep away

  Illumination

  is death’s eldest daughter

  False Modesty I bloomed too late

  My poesies My liturgies My mantras

  My clay tablets My dull writ

  l776 ditties

  in a faux cherry ossuary

  Me and silence

  and some strange race WRECKED!

  The Great Mother manifests

  The Great Mother hidden

  All ye all ye all sent free!

  One shaft of white light

  then another

  another

  O minions and

  thralldoms

  O the great pomp of living and dying

  The secret of the fly whisk

  is the fly

  wringing wringing his hands

  the fat one fondling my ears

  the thin one measuring my head

  O holy holy choir

  the living Baching with the dead

  first sassed Billie

  then Janice

  now Aretha murrrrmurrrs

  the sticky wicky icky

  ko-ans

  of love

  Millennium, Six Songs

  I.

  Black swollen fruit dangling on a limb

  Red forgotten flesh sprayed across the prairie

  Parched brown vines creeping over the wall

  Yellow winged pollen, invisible enemies

  Boluses without homesteads, grubs without a voice

  Burrowed deeply into this land’s dark, dark heart

  Someday, our pods and pupae shall turn in the earth

  And burgeon into our motherlode’s bold beauty

  II.

  We’re a seed on the manure, on the sole of your shoe

  We’re the louse trapped in your hank of golden hair

  We’re the sliver that haunts beneath your thumbnail

  We’re the church mouse you scorched with a match but lived

  We’re the package wrapped, return address unknown

  We’re the arm lowered again, again, a bloodied reverie

  We’ve arrived shoeless, crutchless, tousle-haired, swollen-bellied

  We shall inherit this earth’s meek glory, as foretold

  III. (FOR LEAH, MY NIECE)

  They gave you a title, but you were too proud to wear it

  They gave you the paterland, but you were too lazy to farm it

  Your condo is leaking, but you’re too angry to repair it

  Your dress has moth holes, but you’re too sentimental to toss it

  You’re too bored to play the lute, it hangs on the wall like an ornament

  The piano bites you, it’s an eight-legged unfaithful dog

  Love grows in the garden, but you’re too impudent to tend it

  A nice Hakka boy from Ogden, so hardworking, so kind

  The prayer mat is for prayer, not for catamite nipple-piercing

  The Goddess wags her finger at your beautiful wasteland

  A dream deferred, well, is a dream deferred

  IV. (JANIE’S RETORT, ON HER FORTIETH BIRTHDAY)

  The same stars come around and around and around

  The same sun peeks her head at the horizon

  The same housing tract, the same shopping center

  The same blunt haircut: Chinese, Parisian, Babylonian

  The same lipstick: red and it comes off on your coffeecup

  The same stars come around and around and around

  The same sun tarries in the late noon sky

  The same word for mom: Ah ma, madre, mere, majka

  The same birthbabe: bald, purplish, you slap to make cry

  The same stench: mother’s milk, shit and vomit

  The same argument between a man and a woman

  The same dog, hit by a car, the same escaped canary

  The same turkey for Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year

  The same three-tiered freeway: Istanbul, Tokyo, San Diego

  The same hill, the same shanty town, the same lean-to

  The same skyscraper: Hong Kong, Singapore, Toledo

  The same soup: chicken
, though the veggies may vary

  The same rice for supper: white, brown or wild

  The same stars come around and around and around

  The same sun dips her head into the ocean

  The same tree in the same poem by the same poet

  The same old husband: saggy breasts, baggy thighs

  The same blackness whether we sleep or die

  V.

  Whoever abandoned her grandmother at the bus stop

  Whoever ran in and out the door like a blind wind

  spinning the upside-down prosperity sign right side up again

  Whoever lost her virtue in darkly paneled rooms with white boys

  Whoever prayed for round eyes

  and taped her eyelids in waiting

  Whoever wore platform shoes

  blustering taller than her own kind

  Whoever sold her yellow gold for Jehovah

  Whoever discarded her jade Buddha for Christ

  VI.

  Why are you proud, father, entombed with the other woman?

  Why are you proud, mother, knitting my shroud in heaven?

  Why are you proud, fish, you feed the greedy mourners?

  Why are you proud, peonies, your heads are bowed and weighty?

  Why are you proud, millennium, the dialect will die with you?

  Why are you proud, psalm, hammering yourself into light?

  Cauldron

  General Yuan Shih Kai

  your horse went mad.

  He danced a ribbon

 

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