Sins That Haunt

by Lucy Farago

  Maggie laughed. “You didn’t?”

  “Kinda. Wish I knew why she killed him.”

  “Does it matter? He won’t be bothering you anymore,” she said, draping an arm over her shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Okay, but let me find Noah first.” She spotted him standing in Horace’s office. He was hanging up the phone and speaking to Damon, who clapped him on the back as the two shook hands. Job well done?

  “How much longer is he in town for?”

  “Don’t know. Not long, I think.” Every inch of her ached at the thought of him leaving, just as she knew it would. She watched as Horace also shook Noah’s hand. Something was up.

  “Maybe,” Maggie whispered in her ear, “he’ll stay. Put in for a transfer?”

  “And the house? Your old house?” Vegas wasn’t his home. And even if it wasn’t hers, Tweedsmuir wasn’t either. Too many bad memories, one too many sins to be forgiven for.

  The men came out of the office, Noah craning his neck, searching for her. And when their eyes met and he smiled, everyone else disappeared. It was just her and Noah. She wanted to crawl into his arms and never leave. And as he approached, looking tired and very sexy, she wondered whether they could make this work. He had said he’d consider moving closer to Vegas. After they’d spent some time getting to know each other again, and if their feelings for each other stayed the same, would it be so selfish of her to let him?

  “Why are you two so happy?” she asked.

  “Noah here,” Damon said, giving him a slap on the back, “just got promoted. You’re looking at the new assistant special agent in charge. Won’t be long now before he’s a director.”

  “It’s not that big a deal,” Noah said, as if embarrassed by Damon’s praise. Embarrassed? Or didn’t want her to think it was that big a deal?

  “Sure it is. I’ll have to call you sir from now on.”

  “That’s great, Noah. Congratulations,” Maggie said, hooking her arm through Shannon’s.

  “Yes, congratulations,” Shannon agreed, trying hard to sound pleased. And she was. He deserved a promotion. A case he’d worked on was finally over. They may not have gotten Santos, but she’d overheard twenty-five arrests had been made: four in Madrid, sixteen in Miami, five in Vegas. So she was happy for him … just terribly sad for herself. Long-distance relationships didn’t work. And from the troubled expression Noah was trying to hide, he knew it too.

  “Hate to change the subject, but what’s the scoop on Shelley?” Maggie asked. “Did she admit to shooting him?”

  “After we told her the bartender identified her with JJ, she did, but she claims she left him alive.”

  “He did? That was fast work,” Shannon said, her mind still on Noah’s good news.

  “No,” he grinned, “but the locals will go out there tomorrow.”

  “So what does this mean?” Maggie asked. “She shot him, he died, end of story. Put her behind bars and throw away the key.”

  “I’d love to, but the local police investigating the murder has this one. She’ll stand trial twice. It’s been a long few days. Why don’t we get out of here? It’s past everyone’s bedtime.”

  “Are you coming over?” Maggie asked him, giving Shannon a nudge Shannon hoped he didn’t see.

  “If that’s okay? My stuff is still at your place.”

  “Sure. You can meet us there,” she said, dragging Shannon out of the station, barely giving her a chance to wave good-bye.

  Outside, Shannon tugged her hand free. “What’s up with that?”

  “Girl talk can’t happen in front of boys. Walk and talk or he’ll catch up.”

  “It’s past midnight. You want to chat. I want to sleep.”

  “You say that now,” she said, opening Shannon’s door and practically shoving her inside. She circled around to her side and got in. “But this might be your last night together. Who’re you kidding with the sleep?”

  “Wow, you’ve been married what? All of thirty seconds and suddenly you think everyone’s as horny as you?”

  “I hate that word.”

  “It’s just a word.” One she’d used knowing Maggie hated it.

  “So is ma’am, but use it and see what happens.” Maggie started the car and, before even pulling into traffic, the girl talk began. “Do you love him?”

  “Wow, stop beating around the bush why don’t you.”

  “No time for games. I know you, Shannon. You’re going to let that man slip through your fingers because you’re dumb enough to think he’s too good for you.”

  “I am not dumb,” she said with as much indignation as she could muster.

  “Uh-huh. Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t disagree with me.” She turned down the music. Not a good sign. She was serious.

  “What do you want from me?”

  “Tell me you don’t think he’s too good for you.”

  Shannon didn’t answer. When not wishing to lie one said nothing.

  “Okay, tell me you don’t love him.”

  Damn, the woman was sneaky.

  “That’s what I thought. You are insane.”

  Going well above the speed limit, Maggie jumped onto the highway—literally. “Hey, are you trying to kill me?”

  “Now you speak? And look at the time,” she reasoned. “There’s barely anyone on the road.”

  “Good excuse to break speed records. Sheesh.”

  “Sheesh? Who are you and where is my friend? You know, the one who curses like a sailor?”

  “Not all sailors curse,” she muttered under her breath.

  “Don’t change the subject.”

  “What subject? I’m completely lost. And scared for my life.” She clung to the door handle.

  “Shake out that blonde, Shannon. You know exactly what subject. How’s your neck, by the way?”

  “Sore, and the paramedics said I shouldn’t strain my voice talking for the next few days.” Anything not to have this conversation.

  “Yes, I know, and I feel completely horrible about this, but if we don’t deal with it now, that boy will pack his bags and head back to Tweedsmuir and you, stupid girl, will let him go—again.”

  “Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? He’s not that boy and I’m not that stupid girl, not anymore. We can’t go back and pick up where we left off.”

  “Then stop acting like he’s that boy and you’re that girl. Those kids grew up.”

  “Would you please slow down?” She glanced at the speedometer and cringed.

  “Listen,” she said, without slowing down, “we do all kinds of things when we’re young that we regret later. That’s life. But he’s not the same boy you left behind. He was married. And some silly woman let him go. Can you believe that?”

  “Yeah, I know about his failed marriage.”

  “And you probably blame yourself for that too. Cut it out, Shannon. You aren’t responsible for every bad decision that man made. You keep looking for excuses to punish yourself.”

  “How am I punishing myself ?” Shannon spotted flashing lights in the darkness ahead. “Cops!”

  It was the wrong thing to say. Maggie quickly slowed down, but she’d been going so fast it propelled Shannon forward. The seat belt caught her and slammed her into the seat, right onto her bruised back.

  “Ow. Maggie, I swear …”

  “Sorry, but if I get another ticket, Christian will kill me.” She drove by the cop, doing the speed limit. “I love you. You’re my best friend. I don’t want you moving to Tweedsmuir, but I want you happy.”

  “Moving to Tweedsmuir? Are you insane?”

  “He got past what happened thirteen years ago. What’s between you now is new; it’s better,” she said, again picking up her speed.

  “Except his home is in Tweedsmuir. He likes living there. And now he got a major promotion. What are we supposed to do? Meet up once a month, every second weekend? How long will that work?”

  “It won’t work. Not in the long run.”
r />   “Then what are you talking about?” She was never more grateful to see the speedometer drop.

  “You need to think about moving back to Tweedsmuir. Not now, but perhaps in the near future.” Maggie sniffed, catching Shannon off guard.

  “Are you crying? Why are you crying? Okay, speed if you want.” She hated it when her friend cried. People like Maggie should never be sad.

  She wiped her cheek with the palm of her hand. “Shut up and listen. You need to be with your man. It will be you and me having the long-distance friendship. But that’s okay,” she said, her voice cracking. “As long as I know you’re happy.”

  “Maybe you should let me drive. You’re talking crazy.”

  “We’re almost there. And I am not.”

  “Sure, with Mario Andretti driving why wouldn’t we make a twenty-minute drive in two minutes? And why would I leave Vegas, leave my practice? And have you forgotten how much I hated that small town?” How much that town hated her?

  “So many questions—with easy answers you refuse to see. Your partners are more than capable. If everything works out, you can start a new office in Boston and commute. And you had good reason to hate our town, but those reasons don’t exist anymore. You have a better reason to love it—Noah.”

  “Even if that were true … I can’t go back.” Visiting Mrs. P was one thing; seeing her every day, living with yet another lie, was another.

  “Mrs. Polanski. I get it, but you can fix that too.”

  “I can’t bring back her husband.”

  “No, but one way to purge the sins that haunt us is telling the truth. So tell her. Give her a chance to forgive you.”

  “You want me to admit what I did?” It was bad enough she knew what she’d done. To have Mrs. P know, to have her hate Shannon … She didn’t think she could do that.

  Maggie pulled up in front of her house and pressed the remote to open the gates. “Look, you’ve been punishing yourself for years. Doing penance for something a young girl had no control over. For the life of me, I could never figure out why you redid the kitchen in your condo when you never step foot in it. I assumed you had this inner Martha Stewart that was trying to get out. To have something you didn’t have as a kid. But when you told me what happened with Mr. Polanski, it made sense. That kitchen is another way to punish yourself. It’s a constant reminder of Mrs. P. You don’t want to forget.” Maggie drove up the driveway and parked.

  She said nothing. Maggie was right. Shannon just didn’t know how to forget it, or deal with it.

  “What do you want me to do?” How did she fix this?

  “Do you love him?”

  “I don’t think I ever stopped loving him.” Even if he didn’t know it, when she’d left she’d given him her heart. “As angry as I was when he arrested me, I was still happy to see him. I wanted to throw my arms around him and never let him go. How stupid is that?”

  “It’s not stupid. Stupid would be letting him go a second time without resolving this. Don’t you want that?”

  “I don’t know. I mean I … I don’t want to lose him again, and under normal circumstances—if this were any other town—I’d consider fighting for him. But I don’t want to end up resenting him because of my baggage.”

  “Then talk to Mrs. P. I think she’ll tell you what we all have. His death wasn’t your fault, but if for some reason she doesn’t, it will no longer be the secret eating you up inside. Then maybe you can let Noah love you,” she said, covering Shannon’s hand with her own. “The way you were meant to be loved.”

  *

  Shannon decided Maggie was right. And what she wasn’t going to do was face Noah and promise all kinds of things she didn’t know if she could keep. So she didn’t. She went to her own room and locked the door. Thankfully, he’d only knocked once last night, when she’d let him believe she’d been too exhausted to stay awake. It was cruel, but she wouldn’t mess this up. Giving him hope where they might not be any would be crueler.

  She called Damon while Noah showered and learned he was to report back in the late afternoon. Then made her usual call to Horace to see if there was any news on her sister. There wasn’t. It was like the kid had disappeared into thin air. If Shelley had lied and had been involved, Shannon would have to wait until the local police questioned the woman again. She’d shot JJ. It wasn’t that far off to think she also had something to do with her sister’s disappearance. But every day that passed made it one day harder to find the girl.

  When the driver she arranged showed up, she tossed Noah’s bag in the back with hers and waited for him to dress in the clothes she’d left him. She wrote him a vague note and told him to meet her out front. She leaned on the hood of the car and thought about asking Christian for handcuffs, then reconsidered. This wasn’t payback. If things worked out, she had her own ideas for retribution, and they didn’t involve slapping cuffs on him—not in public.

  “What’s going on?” he said when he’d finally found her.

  She opened his door. “Get in.”

  “Wait, why? Are you getting rid of me? Shannon, we need to talk.”

  She rolled her eyes and got in the car herself. “Get in,” she repeated.

  Assured she wasn’t sending him off on his lonesome, he took the seat next to her. “Where are we going?”

  “For a drive.”

  “Are we going to talk?”

  “No.” Wow, this evasive stuff was fun. No wonder cops enjoyed it so much.

  “Shannon—”

  “That’s Ms. Joyce to you.” She crossed her arms and sat back with an expression that clearly told him to be quiet. She was mimicking what he’d done to her, but in all honesty, fear was her motive now. Scared to open her mouth and screw this up, scared that when they got to Tweedsmuir she’d have to say good-bye forever. What if afterward Mrs. P hated her? It was funny how facing her worst fear might be her only shot with Noah.

  Luckily, Noah humored her and said nothing else. He kept his eyes on the road, trying to figure out where they were headed. When they turned onto the airport road he swung his head in her direction. “Please don’t tell me you’re shoving me on a plane.”

  “Okay.”

  “Damn it, Shannon, what’s going on?”

  “Don’t curse.” Somehow that didn’t seem right coming out of her mouth.

  They stopped at Departures and she got out of the car. The driver popped the trunk and the tense lines marring Noah’s face disappeared when he smiled, seeing her luggage next to his.

  “You’re coming home with me?” he asked, the hope in his voice warming her from the inside out.

  “Thank you. We’ll take it from here,” she said, ignoring him and tipping the driver as Noah grabbed their bags.

  “Was this some kind of payback?”

  “No, I have much worse in store for you. Look, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I have something I need to do in Tweedsmuir. I’m not promising anything until that’s done.”

  “But you’re open to discussing us? I mean, you’re coming with me.”

  “I can’t walk away like I did the first time. That was for you, but it was mostly for me. I didn’t deserve you and I certainly wasn’t good enough for you.”

  “That’s a load of bull.”

  “I had just caused a man’s death. My father had tried to whore me out and my mother was suffering serious mental health issues. Whereas your dad played pro ball before he went back to medical school. Your mom was a respected member of the community who gave up her legal practice to raise you and your sister. Yeah, I’d say I wasn’t good enough for you. I knew it, the whole town knew it, and you were just too blinded by my charms to know it.” She held up her hand when he opened his gorgeous mouth to argue. “Maggie thinks I’m punishing myself.”

  “What do you think?”

  She motioned to the spinning doors leading into the terminal. “Walk and talk or we’ll miss our plane.” She waited until they were inside before continuing. “She’s right and I have to
stop doing that.”

  There were no lines and they were able to head right to the counter to pick up their boarding passes, then to security.

  “So what’s the plan?” he asked, checking his pockets for change, then removing his belt and dumping it in the plastic bin.

  “I’ll let you know after I talk to Mrs. P and tell her the truth.” She removed her shoes and tossed them into another bin.

  “Sir,” the security guard said, pointing to the shoes in Noah’s hands.

  He stood there, staring at her, wide-eyed and annoying airport security. She took the shoes and placed them with his belt. Then she turned him around and pointed him in the direction of the metal detector. When she herself had gone through and they’d put on their shoes and grabbed their things, Noah snagged her elbow and hurried them off to an empty spot at one of the gates.

  “You’re going to tell Mrs. P? What exactly are you going to tell her?” he asked, sounding worried.

  “The truth.”

  “I should go with you.”

  She patted his cheek. “That’s nice of you, but I have to do this myself.” This was her sin and, truth be told, she didn’t want anyone around should it go bad.

  “Why now? I mean … why now? Are you doing this for us? You don’t have to. When I get back I plan to look into a transfer. I want you in my life, Shannon. If Elena Santos didn’t shoot her husband … I could’ve lost you, again.”

  “Damn; I didn’t plan on having this conversation now. Look, I can’t ask you to risk a promotion you obviously wanted. And if you know me, then you know why. So let’s shelve the moving cities talk until later. That’s not to say I don’t want to get to know the man you’ve become. But before I can even consider moving forward I need to put what happened with Mr. P. behind me.”

  “You’d do that for me?”

  “No, I’d do it for us. But no promises, Noah. I can’t predict how she’ll react or my reaction to her reaction. So let’s be patient, okay?”

  “Are you sure you want to do this? Mrs. P has moved on.”

  “And maybe if I’d faced this years ago, I could have moved on too. Maybe you came back into my life for a reason.” She was getting a second chance. No way would she let it pass her because she didn’t have the balls to face what she’d done. She owed it to Mrs. P. She owed it to Noah. And yes, she owed it to herself.