The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma

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The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma Page 10

by Becca Puglisi


  I can’t be responsible for the welfare of others because I’ll only let them down.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Becoming a victim again

  Victimization becoming part of their identity, a role they can’t escape

  Never being able to reclaim their power

  Vulnerability

  That something similar will befall their loved ones

  Being attacked and/or killed

  That others will think poorly of them because of the beating

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Not venturing out after dark

  Never going anywhere alone

  Avoiding the place where the assault occurred

  Frequent panic or anxiety attacks

  Becoming overprotective with loved ones

  Working out excessively in an effort to become stronger

  Hiding whatever it was that made one a target (one’s beliefs, religion, ethnicity, orientation, etc.)

  Becoming more cautious with one’s words to avoid provoking others

  Always being on alert

  Suspecting all strangers of ill will

  Needing to win in every situation so one won’t be considered weak

  Avoiding responsibility out of a fear of failure or being proven unworthy of trust

  Turning a blind eye to injustice (if getting involved in someone else’s fight caused the assault)

  Becoming prejudiced against one’s attacker

  Emotional volatility; being prone to overreactions

  Resentment toward the police (if one blames them in part for the attack)

  Drinking or using drugs

  Taking self-defense classes

  Finding a confidante to vent to and help one gain perspective

  Being grateful that the assault didn’t result in even greater harm

  Viewing violence in a new light and trying to resolve differences another way

  Appreciating one’s blessings more; feeling like one was given a second chance

  Not sweating the small stuff

  Avoiding behaviors that could be intimidating so others won’t experience the same fear one endured

  Becoming a pacifist

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Alert, appreciative, bold, cautious, courteous, diplomatic, disciplined, observant, private, proactive

  Flaws: Abrasive, addictive, callous, confrontational, hostile, inhibited, irrational, martyr, needy, nervous, paranoid, reckless, suspicious, temperamental, uncommunicative, violent, volatile, weak-willed, withdrawn

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Seeing someone physically similar to one’s attacker

  Running into one’s attacker

  Being in an area where a fight breaks out

  Having to go to the hospital (for tests, to visit a sick friend, etc.)

  Sensory stimuli that cause a flashback (a shoe kicking loose gravel, the smell of wet pavement, etc.)

  News reports of muggings and assaults

  A loved one being roughed up on a smaller scale (e.g., being shoved or tripped at school)

  Being awakened in the night by a strange noise

  Being in a place similar to where the attack happened

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  A romantic relationship that turns abusive

  Overreacting and embarrassing oneself in response to a perceived attack that turns out to be nothing

  Exacting vengeance against one’s attacker and discovering that it didn’t take away the emotional pain of the event

  When the choice to not get involved in another’s problems leads to the person being victimized, it forces one to face one’s own cowardice

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  BEING HELD CAPTIVE

  EXAMPLES: Being kidnapped…

  And held for ransom

  And kept captive for an extended period of time

  And sold into slavery

  By one’s biological parent or other relative to start a new life elsewhere

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I’m an easy mark, a target. People will always try to victimize me.

  I will never be the same, never be whole.

  The others didn’t make it out; I shouldn’t have either, (Survivor’s guilt)

  My captor wasn’t all bad. (Stockholm syndrome)

  My judgment is faulty and can’t be trusted. (if one believes one was at fault somehow)

  The only person I can trust or count on is me.

  Specific beliefs caused by a captor’s brainwashing: No one loves me, I deserve to be punished, etc.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Having their power and freedom stolen again

  Trusting the wrong person

  Not being able to achieve their dreams

  Not being able to adjust to the real world after escaping

  Someone they love being taken and suffering the same ordeal

  That the things endured during captivity will cause loved ones to reject them

  Men or women (depending on the captor’s gender), especially ones with a close physical resemblance

  Being assaulted, trapped, captured again, or killed

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Becoming cautious almost to the point of paranoia

  Hyperawareness of one’s surroundings

  Sensitivity to trigger stimuli, such as being in an enclosed space or having one’s movements restricted

  Withdrawing from friends and loved ones

  Difficulty trusting others

  Fatigue due to nightmares

  Becoming security-obsessed (taking self-defense classes, turning a home into a fortress, etc.)

  Depression and anxiety

  Losing interest in hobbies or the activities one used to enjoy

  Being overprotective of one’s children

  Difficulty adjusting to changes in the world since one’s abduction (if it lasted a long time)

  Being evasive or dishonest out of a desire to protect one’s privacy

  Self-medicating to cope

  Thoughts or attempts of suicide

  Flying under everyone’s radar so as not to draw attention to oneself

  Feeling empathy for one’s kidnapper followed by feelings of guilt (Stockholm syndrome)

  Self-loathing over things that happened or one’s inability to escape

  Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, such as flashbacks, paranoia, and anxiety jitters

  Becoming extremely subservient; losing one’s will

  Impaired concentration, focus, and memory

  Feeling powerless, fearful, and anxious

  Taking steps to leave the past behind (changing one’s name, moving, switching jobs, etc.)

  Feeling as if one has been given a second chance

  Believing that one escaped for a purpose and living to fulfill that purpose

  Believing a debt of gratitude is owed to one’s rescuer, and living that out

  Finding a therapist or support group

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Alert, appreciative, bold, cautious, disciplined, empathetic, industrious, meticulous, nurturing, observant, patient, persistent, private, proactive, protective, resourceful, socially aware, wise

  Flaws: Addictive, compulsive, evasive, hostile, inhibited, insecure, irrational, morbid, needy, nervous, obsessive, paranoid, self-destructive, subservient, suspicious, timid, uncommunicative, uncooperative, withdrawn

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Specific smells, sounds, tastes, or objects associated with one’s captor

  Places that act as reminders of one’s captivity, such as a basement or a barn

  Hearing that one’s captor is up for parole or has been released from prison

/>   A child moving away (going to college, attending summer camp, renting an apartment, etc.)

  Flashbacks that cause one to relive the event

  Seeing a stranger that resembles one’s captor

  Watching movies or shows that portray a situation similar to what one went through

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  Feeling like one is being watched or stalked (even when one isn’t) and recognizing that seeking help is the only way to be free of this delusion

  Discovering that one’s child was detained to keep them safe (like being locked in a storage closet during a mall robbery)

  Recognizing that one’s fears caused by the kidnapping are driving loved ones away

  Realizing that one’s quality of life and ability to connect with people is being ruined by PTSD, and deciding to seek help

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  BEING SEXUALLY VIOLATED

  NOTES: While there is a huge difference between being raped and receiving unwanted text images, the sense of sexual violation is the same. For this reason, we have included all kinds and levels of sexual harassment, violation, and assault in this entry.

  EXAMPLES

  Rape or attempted rape (by a stranger, acquaintance, family member, or partner)

  Being forced or coerced to perform sexual acts, such as oral or anal sex

  Being prostituted

  Fondling or unwanted sexual touching

  Incest

  Being rubbed up against in a crowd

  Being forced to watch pornography

  Being forced to pose for pictures or participate in videos

  Being flashed

  Receiving unwanted sexual texts, photos, or messages

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  If I tell, people will think I’m lying or I encouraged it.

  I will never be whole.

  It’s my fault. I brought this on myself.

  I was targeted because I’m weak.

  My judgment is flawed for not seeing what was right in front of me.

  The people closest to you always cause the deepest hurt.

  No one will want to be with me now.

  Nothing can keep me safe from predators, including myself.

  Trusting people means getting hurt.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Sex and intimacy

  Letting people get close

  Misreading a situation and putting themselves or a loved one at risk

  Men or women, depending on who the perpetrator was

  Being attacked or held against their will

  Telling the truth and not being believed (by police, family, friends, the media, etc.)

  Getting pregnant or contracting a sexually-transmitted disease

  Being rejected or abandoned by a loved one because of what happened

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Doing everything possible to hide what happened, due to shame or fear of retribution

  PTSD symptoms, such as flashbacks, nightmares, etc.

  Abusing drugs or alcohol as a means of coping

  The development of phobias or an eating disorder

  Difficulty focusing at work or school

  Not taking care of oneself (having poor hygiene, being unconcerned about danger, etc.) due to depression

  Becoming uncommunicative

  Pulling away from family and friends

  Giving up hobbies and interests

  Questioning one’s sexual orientation

  Decreased libido or an increased and unhealthy interest in sex

  Confusion over one’s feelings toward the abuser (if the abuser was a friend or family member)

  Negative feelings or thoughts about one’s body

  Suicidal thoughts and behaviors (making plans, writing a note, attempting suicide, etc.)

  Changing one’s routine to avoid the location of the attack

  Emotional volatility

  Acting out as a form of rebellion

  Mistrusting those in authority (if the abuser held a role of power)

  Difficulty being naked in front of others; covering up with layers of clothing

  Startling when one is touched by others

  Becoming very controlling

  Growing angry and upset in situations that remind one of the attack

  Difficulty trusting others

  Difficulty standing up for oneself

  Maintaining platonic relationships where sex is not a possibility

  Becoming overly protective of loved ones and the vulnerable people in one’s life

  Telling a therapist, trusted friend, or loved one about the assault

  Trying to affect change by telling one’s story, donating time or money, or lobbying

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Alert, cautious, courageous, disciplined, discreet, empathetic, gentle, independent, meticulous, nurturing, obedient, observant, pensive, private, protective, socially aware, supportive

  Flaws: Addictive, antisocial, callous, childish, controlling, dishonest, disrespectful, hostile, inhibited, insecure, reckless, resentful, rowdy, self-destructive, subservient, suspicious, uncommunicative, volatile

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Seeing a TV show or movie that depicts a sexual assault

  Experiencing a sensory stimulus that triggers memories of the assault

  Meeting the perpetrator unexpectedly at a social event like a reunion, party, or charity event

  Seeing the perpetrator with a child or person who could potentially be a victim

  Being approached from behind unexpectedly

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  Unintentionally driving away a desired lover or spouse, then realizing one’s mistake

  Wanting a romantic relationship to move forward, but to do so, one must open up about what happened and face possible rejection

  Hearing about a friend’s sexual assault and gaining the courage to speak up or seek help

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  BEING STALKED

  EXAMPLES: Stalkers are typically obsessed with their subjects, either out of a romantic interest, from the belief that the subjects have rejected or slighted them in some way, or another reason they themselves may not completely know or understand. Stalkers come in many forms, including…

  A fan whose mail went unanswered

  A former business partner

  A student whose scholarship application was denied

  An artist whose work failed to win a contest or received a poor review

  An ex-lover

  An acquaintance whose romantic advances were rejected

  An unstable employee overlooked for a promotion

  Someone suffering delusions of unrequited love

  A serial killer or rapist

  A deranged individual who develops an inexplicable fascination with a certain person

  Someone who feels he was slighted, ignored, or under-appreciated in a specific way

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I caused this by encouraging him in some way.

  If I hadn’t been so friendly (or turned her down for a date, etc.) this wouldn’t be happening to me.

  People know I am weak and will always try to hurt me.

  My judgment is flawed; I should have seen this person as a threat from the beginning.

  No place or person is truly safe.

  The authorities are powerless to help me.

  Trusting the good in people is naïve and dangerous.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  For their life

  That the stalker will get out of jail and seek revenge

  That the stalking
will never end (if it is ongoing)

  Trusting the wrong person

  Letting anyone get close in case they too become obsessed

  That innocent family members or loved ones may be victimized by association

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Insomnia and fatigue

  Loss of appetite

  Isolating oneself; avoiding unnecessary social interactions

  Avoiding social media or shutting down one’s accounts

  Clinging to those one knows is safe

  Relying on loved ones to make decisions due to doubting one’s discernment and judgment

  Becoming overprotective of loved ones and pets

  Becoming overly suspicious and paranoid

  Developing a mental disorder like agoraphobia or depression

  PTSD symptoms (nightmares, flashbacks, startling easily, irritability, etc.)

  Difficulty focusing on everyday tasks

  Making changes to throw off a stalker (moving, changing one’s name or appearance, etc.)

  Becoming very concerned with personal safety

  Self-medicating through food, alcohol, or drugs

  Bouts of irrational self-blame

  Engaging in critical self-assessment to discern what caused the attention

  Shedding attributes one believes caused the stalking (e.g., trading friendliness for hostility)

  Hypertension, gastrointestinal issues, sexual dysfunction, and other stress-related physical symptoms

  Performing poorly at work or school

  Giving up hobbies and activities that take one out of the home

  Difficulty trusting others

  Not talking to people or responding to casual friendliness

  Avoiding romantic relationships

  Weight gain or weight loss as a result of stress

  Being unable to enjoy life fully or let go of worry

  Being more alert and aware of one’s surroundings

  Making safer choices and taking necessary precautions

  Joining a self-defense class

  Being more community-minded; extending security efforts to include everyone in one’s apartment building or neighborhood

 

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