The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma
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Climate change
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Researching the event to try and understand it
Keeping a stockpile of supplies, just in case
Formulating an evacuation plan
Questioning what one is told by one’s government and media
Checking with multiple news sources rather than relying on one
Being jaded by the lack of compassion one experienced during the event
Needing to check in with and keep tabs on one’s family
Being uncomfortable when one’s children stay with other people or are too far away
Moving to another area to avoid a specific danger
Experiencing night terrors
Difficulty relaxing and enjoying the little things
PTSD symptoms (panic attacks, insomnia, flashbacks, delusions, etc.)
Hoarding tendencies
Becoming a hypochondriac
A tendency to think about the worst-case scenario
Being unable to sleep during certain types of weather
Altering one’s property to account for emergencies (installing a storm shelter or underground storage area, putting up fences, installing a well, etc.)
Doomsday prepping activities
Becoming a conspiracy theorist (if the disaster was man-made)
Joining online groups that align with one’s beliefs or help prepare for the future
Learning how to become self-sufficient in case one has to survive on one’s own
Making one’s health more of a priority
Staying in better contact with one’s family
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Adaptable, alert, appreciative, cautious, courageous, disciplined, efficient, focused, independent, industrious, inspirational, loyal, nature-focused, observant
Flaws: Antisocial, apathetic, controlling, cynical, dishonest, humorless, inhibited, insecure, irrational, materialistic, needy, obsessive, paranoid, pessimistic, selfish, stingy
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
Symbols of industry (if a man-made disaster was the event) like factories or smoke stacks
Reminders of hardship, such as an empty cupboard
A power outage
A tree that has fallen down in a storm
TV news reports of disasters in other countries
The anniversary of the event
The sound of sirens or other emergency vehicles
Sounds associated with the event (breaking glass, sirens, timber snapping, sudden silence, etc.)
Smells associated with the event (smoke, gas or chemical smells, ozone, etc.)
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Another emergency event or disaster
Facing an emergency where one must rely on others (including police) for help
Being in a position of hardship and having others show compassion and a willingness to help
Seeing someone be merciful and generous instead of taking advantage or ignoring the need
Being given an opportunity to make a difference for others or join a cause for a better future
RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
A PARENT’S DIVORCE
NOTES: The intensity of this wound will have several factors: the circumstances of the divorce; the personality, age, and adaptability of the character when the trauma took place (especially if it was during formative years); and the changes that will result, which could include a new financial reality, having to move, custody arrangements, alterations to one’s support structure, and one’s relationship with each parent moving forward.
While there are short-term and long-term effects from divorce, this entry will highlight its repercussions on adult or near-adult characters, covering the long-range impacts.
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
Children strain relationships; that’s why my parents divorced.
There’s no such thing as a long-term relationship.
If I love someone completely, I’ll end up hurt.
Love is only temporary.
Marriage is for suckers.
Everyone keeps secrets, so I can’t trust anyone completely.
Keeping the peace means keeping your mouth shut.
There’s always something better out there.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Being abandoned
Not being a priority
Instability (financial, emotional, etc.)
Infidelity
Rejection or betrayal
Being discarded for something better
Failing in their own marriage
Having children and failing them
Committed relationships
Change
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Resisting or avoiding long-term relationships
Making excuses for not committing
Poor relationship choices
Promiscuity
Becoming overly attached to people or purposely avoiding attachment
A strained relationship with one or both parents
Being generally critical of one’s parents and their choices
Resentment due to one’s childhood not being what it should have been
Struggling to fully trust a partner or spouse
Tending to walk away from conflict rather than work through it
Longing for a traditional (loving, supportive, or close) family unit
Giving one’s children the support one lacked, even to one’s own detriment
Being risk-averse; sticking to the safe path
Feeling insecure often and needing reassurance, praise, or positive reinforcement
Monitoring situations carefully for change
Worrying about finances more so than may be normal
Having trouble letting go (of the past or of things in general)
Fearing to be responsible for others
Being territorial or possessive (of people, personal spaces, one’s role and job, etc.)
Finding it difficult to forgive people
Being a people pleaser or manipulator (depending on what worked as a child to get attention)
Wanting to be in control of everything
Being easily overwhelmed by change
Becoming angry and reactive when things don’t go as planned
Feeling threatened by competition
Fierce independence; a reluctance to ask for help
Feeling guilty when something doesn’t go right, as if one is somehow to blame
Feeling overly responsible for the happiness of others
Holding onto friendships and relationships too tightly, possibly smothering others
Cautioning one’s children against getting their hopes up in uncertain situations
Being reluctant to try something new
Disliking surprises
Wanting to know the outcome before committing; needing assurances
Having a deep sense of ownership for one’s things
Taking pride in what one has built (a safe home, a family, a career, etc.) despite setbacks
Understanding that if one is always in control, others will miss the chance to learn and grow
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Affectionate, analytical, cautious, charming, discreet, empathetic, independent, industrious, just, loyal, mature, nurturing, perceptive, private, proper, protective, sensible
Flaws: Confrontational, controlling, defensive, evasive, hypocritical, impatient, insecure, jealous, judgmental, manipulative, materialistic, needy, obsessive, possessive
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
Spousal arguments
Visiting one’s parent(s) over the holidays
A parent announcing their intent to remarry
The suspicion that one’s partner is keeping a secret
Family reunions, weddings, funerals, or other events where family gathers
Experiencing a loss (a job, a family member or friend passing away, etc.)
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Marriage or personal counseling
Wanting to get married but being afraid to do so
Learning that one is going to be a parent for the first time
Staying in a failed marriage for the kids’ sake but realizing it’s still harming them
RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
A SCHOOL SHOOTING
NOTES: A school shooting is a wound that impacts people differently. Students, teachers, and support staff are primary victims, as they are the closest to the situation, while parents (of children within the school, of victims, and even of the shooter) can also be traumatized. This carries through to first responders, city leaders, the media, and the community, who may all be affected by the atrocity. If you choose this wound, think about how your character’s personality, role, and closeness to the situation will cause different behaviors and feelings to crop up. The timeline is also important to keep in mind, as some responses are more immediate while others will become long-term behaviors and reactions.
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
This is my fault. I should have done something to stop it.
I can’t keep my loved ones safe.
I could die at any moment.
You can never really know a person.
People can turn on you at any minute.
Violence is everywhere.
My life can end at any moment, so why try to make something meaningful?
The world is an evil place.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Dying
Guns and violence
Loving people only to lose them
Strangers (if the shooter was unknown to the character)
Being vulnerable
Freezing up or making a mistake at a critical moment
Placing trust in others (especially for their own welfare or the welfare of loved ones)
Being in crowds or in populated places
That another school attack will happen
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Isolating oneself from others
Difficulty concentrating
Emotions that quickly escalate to extremes
Self-medicating with drugs or alcohol
Feeling guilty for being alive when others are not
Struggling with one’s faith (if one is religious)
Becoming hypervigilant (e.g., watching for possible dangers and threats)
Over-reacting or under-reacting in times of stress
Highly reactive responses to being startled
Suffering from prolonged stress (headaches, stomach problems, aches that don’t abate, etc.)
Having nightmares where one is murdered or one is helpless to save someone else
Waking in a panicked state (with a racing heart, disorientation, etc.)
Needing to know where loved ones are at all times
Panic attacks and overwhelming fears
Struggling to enjoy the little things in life
PTSD (anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, nightmares, night terrors, flashbacks, etc.)
Taking life very seriously or not seriously enough
Feeling guilty for laughing, having fun, or enjoying something trivial
Comparing oneself to the victims to try and understand why one was spared
Worrying that moving on is dishonoring those who died
Clinging to loved ones
Refusing to talk about the event
Experiencing a disconnect with people who weren’t there when it happened
Obsessively researching in hopes of trying to make sense of what happened
Critiquing one’s actions out of guilt for not saving others
Seeking to protect oneself (obtaining a weapons permit, carrying a knife, etc.)
Becoming an anti-gun advocate
Trust issues; being uncomfortable around people one does not know well
Anxiety at being home alone or being separated from family members
Becoming risk-averse and less spontaneous
Wanting to talk about what happened to process one’s emotions
Going to group or individual counseling
Writing about one’s experiences and feelings
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Attributes: Alert, analytical, cautious, disciplined, empathetic, loyal, merciful, nurturing, perceptive, protective, responsible, supportive, unselfish
Flaws: Antisocial, controlling, humorless, impulsive, insecure, irrational, needy, obsessive, paranoid, scatterbrained, self-destructive, suspicious, uncommunicative
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
Gunfire (on TV, at the movie theater, at a range, etc.)
Loud noises, like car backfires, explosions, or firecrackers
Symbols that act as triggers, such as seeing the same sneakers or ball cap that the shooter wore
A friend or family member being present at a random act of violence
Having to go to the hospital
The wail of emergency vehicle sirens
The anniversary of the shooting
Running into the family members of those who died
OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND
Attending vigils and reconnecting with other victims
Homeschooling one’s children, then realizing one is making decisions based on fear
Encountering violence again and having to act to save oneself and others
Seeing a friend struggling with the trauma and wanting to help them through it
RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
A TERMINAL ILLNESS DIAGNOSIS
NOTES: A terminal illness cannot be cured; for these patients, treatment options will, at best, prolong life rather than save it. While some patients do outlive their doctor’s best guesses for life expectancy, patients are considered terminal when they are given six months or less to live.
BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Physiological needs, safety and security, esteem and recognition, self-actualization
FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED
This diagnosis is a mistake, and I’m going to be fine.
God won’t let me die because I’m a good person.
God is cruel to force me to experience such a painful or premature death.
I deserve this (because of something I did, not being good enough, etc.).
I am a burden to the people around me.
If I had money and power, I wouldn’t be dying.
THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…
Death
Pain
The pity of others
Wasting away slowly while friends and family watch
Saying and doing things they can’t control because of medication and the advancing disease
Being remembered as ill and weak rather than strong and capable
Their identity becoming all about the illness
Whatever comes after death (judgment, that it’s different from what they believe, nothingness, etc.)
POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS
Uncontrolled crying and sadness
Growing quiet around other people
Needing breaks from people and normal activities
Depression
Self-medicating with alcohol and drugs
Being unable to get out of bed
Sleeping constantly or suffering from insomnia
Appearing to give up (having poor hygiene, pulling away from loved ones, ignoring pets, etc.)
Refusing to acknowledge one’s illness or go to the doctor
Paranoia that leads to analyzing one’s appearance for signs of the advancing illness
Having to stop certain routi
nes (workouts, healthy eating, cleaning, etc.) as the disease progresses
Refusing to talk about finances, creating a will, or other end-of-life concerns
A manic need to take risks to feel alive
Throwing oneself into work to avoid having time to think
Spending money recklessly
Choosing aggressive treatment options regardless of their effectiveness
Investigating fringe treatments and procedures in hopes of finding a cure
Rebelling against the diagnosis through poor choices (having unprotected sex, binge drinking and partying, visiting unsafe locations, etc.)
Disengaging one’s filter and saying what one really thinks, even if it hurts others
Denying one’s illness by rationalizing symptoms: I didn’t get enough sleep, or Must have been something I ate.
Refusing offers of help because one refuses to be seen as weak
Lying to concerned people about one’s diet, sleep habits, medication routines, etc.
Talking about the illness as if it’s temporary: When I feel better, we should take the kids to Disneyland, or Maybe I’ll get back into hiking once I’m myself again.
Thoughts often turning to suicide
Displaying frustration and impatience as one grows more limited in what one can do
Seeking out second opinions
Researching one’s diagnosis to better understand what is to come
Looking into pain management options and how to slow the illness if possible
PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM
Because this wound is more immediate and has less time to fester, the character will not experience significant personality shifts. Instead, traits (especially those which help facilitate denial) that are already part of the character’s personality may become more pronounced. For instance, a character may grow more private, or they may become more spontaneous, reckless, pensive, or uninhibited if it helps them cope with this wound.
TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND
Seeing a travel ad for a place one always wished to go but will never be able to visit now
Driving past a church or other symbol of God