I don’t delay in hanging it all out there. “She want’s Tarrant.”
“So?”
“What if he’s there tonight? I haven’t spoken to him…” I break off and close my eyes. “Morgan, I’m in love with him,” I whisper almost pleadingly.
She grabs my other hand and squeezes both my hands in hers. “I know, baby,” she murmurs. “I know.”
There isn’t really anything to say so I pull my shoulders back. I’ll have to let it play out.
“Hey, wow! You look amazing,” Caden splutters out as I hoist myself into his big truck and slide my ass across the bench seat so Morgan can pull herself in after me.
“Thanks. Nice choice of vehicle,” I change the subject and reply pointing a finger out and spinning my hand in a circle over my head.
He shrugs. “What? I couldn’t bring Tarrant’s car as he has it and his others are in lock-up at his garage.
“H-His… garage?” I mutter.
“Mm-hmm,” Caden replies as he pulls away and starts driving.
“Tarrant has a garage, like his own garage?” Morgan questions from my other side.
“Yeah,” Caden replies and briefly looks at us frowning. “You didn’t know?” he asks.
“No,” Morgan answers. I remain quiet.
“Huh… I guess he doesn’t really tell anyone,” he explains, not really investing in the conversation like it’s old news to him, and I guess it is, but to me it’s a snippet of Tarrant, and I’ll inhale anything about him… anything.
“A beach party on New Year’s Eve?” I quiz.
“Yeah, Reggie has a massive beach house, think less sand and water and more a normal party but in a gigantic place with fireworks at midnight.”
“So a standard New Year’s party then,” Morgan say giggling.
“Pretty much.” Caden glances over at us and smiles. “You’ll have fun.”
“I feel like that was an order.”
Caden continues to smile.
“We’re here,” Morgan sings out, and my eyes widen at the mansion that sits before us. It’s huge, and the front is all lit up flashing like a damn disco ball. God knows what the inside is like.
“Let’s do this shit,” Morgan shouts and swings the truck door open, jumping out like a puppy.
“Come on, you might have fun,” Caden offers, grinning from ear to ear.
“Oh there goes a golden pig,” I scoff, pointing to the sky.
“You’re an ass, Cooper,” Caden replies with a chuckle. “Come on, dude.”
“Dude?” I mumble and shake my head, but dutifully I get out. The minute my feet hit the ground, I take a deep breath and pull my shoulders back again. I want this. I want to partake in the normal stuff like I used to do. I’m halfway there, the anticipation and anxiety are what I need to beat back now, and I’ll keep pushing onward, until the day I arrive at one of these parties and find that ‘poof,’ just like that, my anxiety doesn’t exist anymore.
“Wow! This is really OTT, even for New Year’s Eve,” Morgan breathes out as she comes to stand next to me. We both tip our heads back and take in the laser show coming from the roof.
“Wonder what the neighbors think?” I reply not able to pull my gaze from the display.
“What neighbors?” she asks.
I look around at the space and realize the nearest house is a good half mile up the road. “Point taken,” I tell her.
“Come on,” she says excitement oozing out of her.
Her smile is contagious, and I look to Caden to see his face mirrors ours.
I nod to my left then right at my two best friends and thread my arms into theirs forming a three-person wall. “Let’s do this,” I shout knowing only they can hear me over the music.
Two hours… I’ve been here two hours, and for once I’ve actually been having fun, real fun, not the kind where I’m kidding myself.
“I’m having a blast,” Morgan exclaims as we dance side by side.
“Me too,” I reply as excited as her.
Caden disappeared about an hour ago after meeting some guy. I kind of feel like maybe now that he’s been honest with his family, he’s not worried about hiding who he is anymore. I know there are whispers that we’ve broken up, which work out well, but I also know they’ll eventually extend to why we broke up and why we’re still friends. I’ll have his back no matter what, and I’m hoping that nobody gives a shit when they realize he’s gay, but I also know people can be assholes, major assholes.
“Can I get you a drink?” I hear and turn to see two guys smiling at Morgan and me. One has his elbow on the shoulder of the other as he leans on him and both of them seem to be having trouble deciding who to look at as their gazes move between both of us.
“No, but thanks for asking,” Morgan replies holding her red solo cup up so they can see it.
“How about you sugar?” the one leaning asks me.
“No, I’m good thanks,” I say offering a polite smile.
One of the guys looks at the other, and for a second I think they’re not going to get the hint. Thankfully, after about ten seconds he grins, and it seems genuine. “Well if you change your mind, we’ll be over there, ladies,” he says pointing to a cluster of tables near some French windows.
“Thanks,” Morgan replies, and we smile before going back to dancing.
“I can’t leave you alone for five minutes before the vultures descend,” Aaron states with a chuckle as he slides up behind Morgan and places his hands on her hips. She looks up over her shoulder at him and smiles. It’s a dirty smile with hooded eyes, and she not so secretly communicates what kind of night he should be expecting.
I shake my head and keep dancing, but as the seconds turn into minutes, and I watch them loving on each other it only reinstates that I don’t have that other person. I want to have the intimacy that Morgan and Aaron have, and I feel like it’s possible with Tarrant, but I have no idea where his head is at.
“Aww look, it’s cute. Larry has no boyfriend now, once again she has to be the third wheel. Bless her,” Selina’s voice cuts through me like Styrofoam against a wall.
Morgan and I both glare at her.
“I heard you turned your boyfriend gay.” She giggles as do all her girl posse. “Either he realized that you really are a guy, or you’re such an epic failure as a female that he switched sides.” They erupt with laughter this time.
I arch an eyebrow at her. “You know what’s funny, Selina? Not you! So shut the fuck up,” I retort.
“Oh snap,” shouts Aaron, a couple of his friends wander up, and a circle starts forming around us.
“You’re such a bitch! You think everyone likes you, but they don’t,” she barks. “They used to put up with you because Morgan is your best friend, then it was because Caden became your boyfriend. Everyone knows you’re a loser.” There’s so much anger in her face and voice that for a second I’m actually taken aback. Her fury is clear and I wonder if she had a knife handy, would she stab me?
“What did I ever do to you?” I ask softly, truly baffled as to why she hates me so damn much.
“You walk around with this ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude, and I know it’s all fake. You use it to get the guys, and they all fall for it… then they fall for you, and you act oblivious.” She’s shouting now, and the crowd is at least three people deep. The music continues in the background, and absently I wonder if it’s been turned down a little as it doesn’t seem as loud as it was.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I state confused at her summary of me.
“Of course you don’t,” she thunders throwing her hands in the air. “That’s the point. That’s your game, Little Miss Innocent.”
I look at Morgan, and her mouth is hanging open, she looks as lost as I feel.
“I still don’t—”
“Fuck you, Laura, fuck you.” I think it’s the first time she’s ever said my real name. “When I first came to college I was dating Matty Maverick. Of course,
over the first few weeks, he saw you… you and your stupid cartoon shit. He kept talking about you. He had me, and he kept talking about you…” Selina is pacing now, and I glance around her friends who are looking slightly scared. People are all looking on, most of the guys are sniggering at her outburst, and the girls are whispering to one another.
“Didn’t he move across the state?” I ask tilting my head.
“That’s not the freaking point,” she yells stepping into my space.
“Whoa, calm down,” I say holding my hands up and taking a step back.
She seems to check everyone around her and then checks herself. I watch as something works behind her eyes.
“It’s fine. Actually, it’s better now because I have someone hotter on my hook, someone who would never look twice at Larry, the fucking loser.” She smirks at me. “And now that you’re not with his brother anymore, it means you can stay out of my way,” she growls.
“Don’t you have a fucking off switch?” I hear the deep voice growl the words from behind me, then feel his heat against my back, and lastly, his unique scent of cologne—mint and leather—surrounds me.
“Tarrant, baby,” Selina purrs taking a step toward him, therefore me.
“No,” he commands, and she stops.
“But Tarrant,” she whines.
“I don’t want your brand of crazy in my life. I’ve told you that more than once. Fuck! You’re a mess,” he states.
People start laughing, but I know he’s not being funny.
Her nose scrunches and her eyes narrow on him. “You think you’re such a fucking God, with your tattoos, cars, and your reputation, which precedes you the great Tarrant,” she barks and curtseys while keeping her narrowed eyes on him.
I turn my head up to look at him and automatically catch my breath. He has another beanie on, and a little stubble, which is making my body even greedier for him. The time apart has felt like forever, and I can’t hide my emotions anymore.
“I guess you like sloppy seconds,” Selina snarls at Tarrant, and I hear his quiet growl. Selina smiles, pleased at the reaction, then she looks to me. “You’ll always know I had him first,” she snaps at me, but I don’t give her the satisfaction of acknowledgment.
“That’s a lie,” Tarrant rumbles.
“Your word against mine,” she flings back.
I look back up at him. Tarrant pinches the top of his nose and murmurs, “Fuck me! You should come with a warning label.” Those standing close enough laugh at his words.
Slowly his head drops forward until his gaze holds mine. “I missed you,” he whispers, and I cough, laugh, and mewl all at the same time as my body doesn’t know how to react to his words. His mouth curves up, and he places his hand under my chin then his thumb swipes my cheek.
“You could have pretty much anyone, why you’d choose her I have no idea,” Selina, who I absently realize is still there, bitches.
Tarrant pulls me to his side, his arm curved around my back with his hand resting on my hip. “Your problem, Selina, is you believe you’re on the top of the pyramid, and shit, maybe you were in high school, but here… you’re like everyone else, trying to get by day to day.” He looks up and down her body. “You’re hot, true.” Selina grins. “But so are a lot of others here, and truthfully, you don’t have much more to offer than your body,” he finishes, and her eyes narrow on him again as she glowers.
“Oh, and she does?” she spits at me.
Tarrant looks me up and down now, and I can’t help but see the heat behind his eyes and react instantly.
“She’s every fucking thing,” he rumbles looking back at her, his anger is starting to penetrate the air surrounding us now. “You’ll never understand this because your mind is too small to comprehend, but she sees me in a way that nobody else can. I’d rather have her lips on mine only once, than my dick in your pussy for a fucking eternity,” he snarls at her, his lip curled.
Her mouth opens and closes as she looks between us. She seems to be digging for something now, and her friends have stepped back into the crowd, not wanting to be seen on her side. Her reputation is in tatters and she knows it. She’s scrambling. “You’ll still always be an ugly, fat loser,” she hurls at me.
I sigh and think about my parents, their nasty words and how I got through it. I remember how I got away from them, and now after building myself up with new family and friends, I’m not sad anymore. I’m me.
“I’ve been called worse by better. It’s time to give up, Selina. Go home,” I tell her softly.
Tarrant leans down and whispers in my ear, “Pure class, Lemon,” and I shiver.
Selina growls literally out loud and then screams, diving through the crowd and banging into people as she tries to get away.
“Well, that was… fun,” Morgan mutters as both she and Aaron sidle up next to us. Aaron and Tarrant do that chin lift greeting that the guys do and slowly people disperse. Morgan makes a face at me, and we burst into laughter. “Your guy came back,” she whispers. “And more than that he had your back. Totally.” I give her a watery smile, not wanting to hope, not yet.
“I think we should talk, don’t you?” Tarrant asks, looking down at me as he steps so close into my personal space that I wonder if he wants to absorb into me. He wraps his hands around either side of my neck. “You’re not afraid to be alone with me anymore are you, Lemon?” he asks, and there’s an edge of teasing to it, but all I can feel is his hands burning on my neck.
I look up into his beautiful green eyes, and there’s a heavy need in them which I’m sure mirrors my own. Biting my lower lip, I let it spring free only to breathe out, “No” quietly against his mouth. His eyes are no longer on mine as he stares at my mouth, a muscle moving in his cheek as he works his jaw.
He grabs my hand, sliding his fingers in between mine. “Come on,” he growls with urgency and tugs me behind him.
We slow once we’re out on the beach alone. I stop and climb up onto a picnic table situated on the sand. Leaning down to pull my boots off I then swing my legs back and forth, looking out to the calm sea. The light breeze rushes past my face, blowing some stray hairs into my eyes.
Tarrant reaches over, his fingertips blaze a path of heat from my forehead to my cheek, before he tucks the strands behind my ear. “Don’t let Selina or her friends bother you.” His deep voice is softer than usual, the sharp jab that often accompanies his words is gone, replaced by a gentle, almost tender tone.
“I won’t.” It’s me who has a hard edge to my words.
“Liar,” he replies instantly with a smirk.
I drop my head, taking in my pretty lilac toenails.
“Hey,” he says, placing his fingers under my chin and pulling my gaze back up to meet his. “They’re assholes. Period.”
“You say you never had a thing with Selina, and you call them assholes. So why were you out with her that day I saw you in the diner?” I have to know, if we’re going to sort anything out then every truth has to be told.
Tarrant clenches his teeth, and I take that as a bad sign until he holds my hand. I look up, and his eyes burn into mine. “She had photos of you.”
“What?” I murmur almost silently.
“They weren’t bad… just shots of you coming out of the bathroom, shit like that.”
“Oh my God,” I shriek. “How did you… how did you know?” I ask calming myself.
“She was drunk at a party one night, and I overheard her bragging about it. The next day I invited her out. When she went to the bathroom, I took her phone out of her bag and deleted the shots, she never even knew.”
“You deleted them?” I reply.
“Well, yeah, but not before I forwarded them to my phone,” he continues breezily.
“You what?” I shout.
“Calm down. I only did that so I could take the evidence to the college administrators. I don’t think Selina will be back in classes any time soon, and I’m pretty sure she’s being kicked out of the dorm. But you did
n’t hear that from me.” He chuckles.
I open and close my mouth repeatedly processing the information until it’s resolved in my mind, and then Tarrant runs his thumb along my lip which seems to bring me out of my stupor.
He pulls me from the tabletop and guides us toward a sandy, grassy hill. Once there, Tarrant pulls off his hoodie, and I catch a glimpse of the muscled abs on his lower stomach which causes an all over tingle. “Arms up,” he demands, but I don’t move. Throwing the hoodie over his shoulder, his fingers encircle my wrists, and he pulls my arms up above my head. “Keep them there,” he orders and his eyelids lower as he runs his hands back down my arms achingly slow. My breaths come quickly as my heart picks up speed. Once he reaches my armpits, he stops for a second then slowly glides down my ribs, his thumbs run teasingly close to the sides of my breasts. I can’t tear my eyes from the obviously conflicting emotions that are warring on his face. “Here,” he says pulling his hands away and grabbing his hoodie. He drags it over my arms and slides it down my body. It hangs to my knees.
“Right, finally we can sit and talk.”
“We couldn’t before?” I swallow hard to push the words out.
“With you in that dress?” he asks arching an eyebrow. “Ask a sensible question, Lemon.”
I smile to myself, but I know he catches it when he gives his head a little shake. He sits and pulls me down, but instead of landing next to him which is where I thought I was going, he pulls me into his lap.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“We’ve spent too much time pretending around one other. I’m done with that. I want you right here. Okay?”
My thoughts are still caught on him acknowledging the fact that we’ve been skirting around, pushing and pulling against each other like magnets.
“Lemon?” he asks again.
“Kay,” I whisper and watch as his gaze softens, and then he smiles, full on.
“I knew about Caden,” he surprises me.
“What? You knew?” I ask confused.
Dazed (The Deliverance Series Book 1) Page 22