by T. T. Kove
I did, albeit slowly. I might be happy he was home, but I didn’t want to hurt him. If he was never hurt again on my watch that would be perfect—but I had taken care of that arsehole ex of his, even if he’d managed to hurt Kasey before I found them.
Kasey was fine now though. No bruises marred his face or body—though they were still there on the inside. I knew that, and I wanted to heal them too. I'd do anything for him to be happy. It might sound sudden, we'd only got together two months ago, after all, but I'd watched him for months before that night I took him home.
I hadn't ever planned on approaching him. He was my employee after all, and he'd always looked like a bundle of nerves—he'd been too frail to me, I'd thought I’d scare him. But then he’d been standing just outside the club as I left, crying and devastated because he hadn’t got into the dance school he wanted to go to… and I’d taken him home.
He’d been here since. And my life, which had been pretty dull and bleak, got some light back in it again. Kasey was sweet and caring and bright.
He moaned at a particularly hard, deep thrust. His arms gave out, and his upper body fell to the bed, where he gripped the sheets tightly. His body was tight around me, tight and hot and the fact I'd managed to be without him for two whole weeks was beyond me at that moment.
The sounds leaving him were like music. He’d been so timid in the beginning, hardly letting any noise out at all—but he’d loosened up nicely since then. He finally let me know just how much he liked it during sex, even when I couldn’t see his face. I’ll never be like his abusive ex. I’d cherish Kasey—for as long as he’d let me. He was the most important person in my life now, after all.
“Ahh, Wynn—I’m c-coming—”
I reached around to fist his dick, stroking it in time with my thrusts. It didn’t need many strokes before he shot over the sheets, several quick spurts leaving him. His body clenched around me as he orgasmed and I closed my eyes, trying to hold on for a little longer.
I failed. Not that I was saddened by that, because coming felt great. Orgasm had never felt so damn great before—or at least that's how it felt right now.
“Fuck. You’re—” I grabbed his face and bent down to kiss him.
“I’m what?” he asked breathlessly.
I rested my forehead against his temple. I had no idea what I’d been about to say, but… “You’re so fucking important to me.”
A smile spread slowly on his lips. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I pulled out of him and straightened up. He rolled onto his back and gazed up at me. “Let’s not go two weeks without seeing each other again, okay?” I tied off the condom and headed into the bathroom to throw it in the rubbish.
He came padding in after me, arms going around my waist as he pressed up against my back. “Yeah, let’s not. You’re important to me too.”
My heart skipped a beat. Dangerous, that. But so good. I knew I loved him. Already. It was probably too soon to say it, which was why I'd used important instead. But he was that too, the most important person in my life. Besides Kasey, all I had was Chad. My best friend of so many years.
No family, no other friends to speak of. I had my club, I had my flat, but that was everything.
I turned and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. I wanted to say it, to tell him, but I was afraid he wouldn’t say it back. I didn’t want to say it and not hear it in return—my heart literally couldn’t take that.
I’d never heard those three little words from Madison. I’d never had what I had now with Madison. Our relationship hadn’t been a normal one—but this one with Kasey was. And I loved every single minute of it.
He made me feel like maybe I could have a normal life after all, even with all the shit I’d lived through. And wasn’t that a scary thought?
Chapter 5
An early sign of depression was the fact it was hard to get up in the morning. I knew what it meant, but I couldn't do anything about it. Even today, with Kasey home, it was a major struggle first to wake up… and then get up.
“Morning.” He turned away from the coffee machine with a mug in his hand. “I made coffee. You want a cup?”
“Yeah.” I eyed his cup as he set it down to pour one for me. “Are you drinking coffee?” As far as I knew he didn’t even like coffee. Surely he couldn’t have changed his mind in two weeks.
“Hah, no, just tea.” He chuckled. “Here you go.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, cupping it in both my hands.
“Are you feeling OK?” He grabbed his mug and came to sit next to me at the table. “You seem a little out of it. And you only grunted at me earlier when I got up.”
Usually, I was the one up first, so I could see how that would be weird for him. "I'm fine. Just tired I guess." Why I couldn't just say it like it was was beyond me. I knew what was happening—but until the day I couldn't get out of bed at all, there was nothing to worry about.
It shouldn’t happen this early though. I had a pattern—had for the last few years. Depression hit during spring, not smack in the middle of January and winter. It wasn’t the way it worked.
Speaking of depression… I had to take my pills. I usually took them as soon as I got up.
“Be right back.” I headed to the bathroom, popped the pills, and drank some water from the tap to wash them down with. There’s that done. I brushed my teeth too for good measure.
Kasey was still sitting where I'd left him, sipping his tea. He seemed thoughtful, staring straight ahead, unseeingly.
I went over and looped my arms around him, pressing in close to his back.
He put the tea down on the counter and instead gripped my forearms. He also tilted his head back, and I leant down to suck at the thin skin just underneath his ear. A small breath, almost a moan, left him. "You feel so good."
“What you’re doing feels good,” he murmured in reply, eyes closing as I continued to suck on his skin. “We could—maybe, like, move this to the bed?”
"What would we do in bed?" I licked at the spot I'd just sucked. A small mark had spread, but I knew he liked it when I marked him.
“Everything.”
Everything left… a lot. My favourite thing in bed was perhaps him on his back, legs on my shoulders as I bent his lithe, bendable dancer’s body almost in half as I fucked him. Nice and slow or quick and hard, it didn’t matter. I simply loved that position. Missionary in general, as I got to see his face, touch his chest, stroke his cock. Him spread out for me, my dick buried in his arse… it was heaven.
Today he had other plans, however. Now I was on my back as he climbed on top of me, straddling my hips and sinking down onto my dick. His arms braced against my shoulders, and then he bent down for kisses and used his entire forearms to brace himself instead as he rode my cock.
It was good. It wasn’t a position we used often, but as long as I could see his sweet face, kiss him, touch his dick, I was happy. His skin was darker than mine thanks to his Asian genes, his hair was thick and coarse and black, his eyes slanted a little, and he was so fucking smooth. Almost no hair anywhere, be it his groin or his legs. I knew for a fact he didn’t shave—it was just how it was. I kinda liked it.
His smooth, tanned skin was so different from mine. I wasn’t pale by any account, but he had a darker skin tone. As I ran my hands up his thighs, the contrast between him and my tattooed arms was stark.
He broke the kiss but didn't move away. "Can we turn around? My thighs are burning."
Hell yeah, we could turn around. I grabbed his arse and easily flipped us over, not even pulling out of him. I got my knees under me and started thrusting into him, going faster than he had.
“Ah, yeah,” he groaned, eyes falling shut, his hands now on my arse as if he was afraid I’d pull out. There was no chance of that. I was going to fuck him until I came—and even then I’d fuck him until I couldn’t anymore.
It was my turn to initiate kisses, by pushing my tongue into his mouth. The tip of his bumped against m
y tongue piercings. I knew perfectly well he was as fascinated with that one as he was by the piercings in my dick.
Speaking of piercings and his fascination with them…
“Maybe you should get one for yourself.”
“Hmm?” He cracked his eyes open to look at me.
“A piercing.” I moved down to lap at one nipple. "I hear they make nipples a lot more sensitive." I sucked, and he bucked his back off the bed with a moan. "Maybe I should get nipple piercings."
He ran a hand over my chest, thumb brushing over both nipples. “Maybe we should get those together.”
“You’d be into that?” I moved over to suck on his other nipple, glancing up at him.
“Mmm.” He abandoned my chest to instead tangle his fingers in my hair. "But let’s get those doctor's appointments first. I'm so ready to be rid of the condoms."
Something warm spread through me. Warm and tingly and bloody happy. It was new and surprising and so damn good. To think that only a few months ago, I’d been fine living on my own. I’d never thought I’d get to have something like this with someone else. And now here Kasey was, under me, surrounding me, my dick buried in his arse, and we had plans. Plans for the future. Ditch the condoms, our weekend get-away. This was real.
I’d stopped thrusting as we spoke, simply rocking against him, but now I started up again, chasing my orgasm. It was so. Damn. Close!
I pulled out, ripped off the condom, and gave my cock a few quick strokes—and then I was coming. White, sticky semen landed on his stomach, over his flushed dick, in his pubes… and he looked so fucking good with my come all over him.
His eyes were half-way closed, watching my dick. The way he was so fascinated by it—by the piercings—was a nice change. I hadn't had the piercings way back when with Madison, but the few guys I'd been with in more recent times hadn't been as enthusiastic as Kasey was.
As soon as I was milked dry, I bent to take his cock in my mouth, sucking him just the way I knew would get him off in minutes. He didn't disappoint—his fingers clenched and unclenched in my hair, soft moans leaving him, and then he shot down my throat.
He lay bonelessly afterwards, while I padded naked into the bathroom to throw the condom away.
“Do you have any plans for today?” he asked as I stepped over the threshold into the bedroom again.
“Heading down to the club for a bit.” Had to check in with Graeme, see how he was doing. If he wasn’t doing well, he’d better listen to me and take a few days off. I was sort of a little worried for his girl too.
“I can come with?” he offered, pushing up on his elbows to look at me.
“Sure you can.” I grinned and bent down to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll take you out to dinner later.”
“Take me out?” He raised both eyebrows quizzically.
“Yeah. Wherever you want to go. Dinner’s on me.” We had two weeks apart to make up for, and we’d come quite far with the sex, but some quality time together that didn’t involve nakedness and orgasms… we still had some to make up for there.
He smiled, all sweet and innocent-like. Happy, my mind supplied. And I’d fucking keep making him happy. I wasn’t ever going to lose anyone else.
Graeme was in my office when we got to the club, typing away on the laptop kept there for work.
"Hey," I greeted him as I breezed inside. I felt loads better than I had when I woke up. Whether it was the antidepressants or Kasey being home or the sex… I had no idea. I was just glad the gloom from this morning, and frankly, the past two weeks, had lifted somewhat.
“Hey.” He glanced up, fingers pausing on the keyboard.
“You all right?”
He sighed. “I’m fine. Frustrated though. Had a row with the family yesterday, after Noelle was admitted to the hospital. Can you believe they never fucking noticed anything wrong? They lived with her and yet they had no idea she heard voices.”
I could believe that. My views on family weren’t exactly great. In fact, they couldn’t be any lower than they were.
He pressed his fingers to his temples. “Anyway, she’s in hospital now, getting the help she should’ve got years ago.”
Kasey hovered behind me. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw him chew worriedly on his lower lip.
“I haven’t got a fucking clue what I’m dealing with,” Graeme admitted in a low voice.
“Afraid I can’t help you either.” I sat down in the chair facing him. “I know a lot about bipolar and depression, but schizophrenia… not so much. I mean, Chad had hallucinations when he’s manic, but I don’t know if it’s the same.”
Graeme blew out a breath. “I don’t know, mate. I—I tried reading up on it a little yesterday, but—fuck. There’s a lot to take in.”
“That there is.” I motioned for Kasey to come over and he stopped behind my chair, hands coming up to rest on my shoulders.
“So, Chad—” He licked his lips, looked away nervously. “Is he well?”
I hated to disappoint him, but… “Sometimes. But never for long.”
“So she’s not ever going to be rid of it?” He dragged a hand over his face, seemingly accepting the hard battle he had ahead of him.
“Well, I don’t know about that. I don’t know the statistics for schizophrenia, but… you can get better from bipolar. With medication, therapy. With Chad, it's complicated. He went untreated for a long fucking time, and he's got the ultra-rapid cycling or whatever the fuck they call it type, and it's the hardest to treat.” Graeme had met Chad. Both when he was on a baseline—and when he was manic. “Antipsychotics should do the trick though. For many people anyway. Let's hope Noelle's mind and body react better to them than Chad’s do.”
“Well, she sure doesn’t act like he does,” he muttered.
True. When Chad was manic he was high and low and the master of everything. He couldn't sit still. He hallucinated his mum's voice, that one happened quite often, but also his dad's, and that wasn't a happy hallucination at all. He could get paranoid. It was… difficult to say what would happen when he got manic until it happened. And then it was too late to stop it.
“You need some time off?” I asked. “You can, you know. I’ll take care of everything here. It’s no problem.”
“No, no,” he hurried to cut me off. “I want to work. Keep busy. She’s in hospital anyway. Probably not coming out anytime soon, so it’s not like I have to look after her in a while.”
“And when she’s discharged?”
“Then she’ll stay with me.” He sounded certain.
This was the guy who’d rejected her, turned his phone off because he thought she’d be calling him in the middle of the night—which clearly she had a habit of doing, or else he wouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion. And now… it seemed he was all she had and he cared too much about her to not be there for her.
It was all good then. “Right. Then we’re off.” I stood. “Remember we’re both off this weekend.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s all on the schedule.”
Kasey, who’d been silent up till now, watched me as we left the club. “Can you please tell me where we’re going? I’m dying to know.”
“You want to ruin the surprise?”
He pursed his lips slightly. "You know, I feel like there's an imbalance here. First, you buy me a new phone, an expensive one. For which, thank you, but I can’t afford to buy you anything like that. And then you say we don’t have to buy Christmas presents for each other since we’re not celebrating together and okay. Since we haven't known each other that long and I had no idea what to buy you, I was onboard with that. But now you've probably spent a lot of money on this, and I'm freaking out a little here."
“Don’t freak out.” When he put it that way, he had a point. Then again, he didn’t have much money whereas I had. Enough money anyway, I wasn’t rich by any account. I just didn’t have to live payday to payday, worrying about every penny I spent. “I want to do this. I want to get away for a bit, and
want you to come with me.”
He seemed dubious.
“Just accept, Kasey. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve taken time off work?” That was a rhetorical question, as he couldn’t know. I’d never told him. “Last year I was holed up in bed for two weeks. Too depressed to move. Graeme manned the club then. Time off before that was also due to depression. Probably the time before than again too. I never take time off to go somewhere—because where would I go? Going someplace alone is lonely as hell.”
Now he seemed to feel sorry for me. “Wynn, I—”
I put a finger to his lips, shushing him. I didn’t need to hear I’m sorry. “Just say you'll come with me.” It probably wouldn’t be long til I was laid up in bed again. I could feel the depression creeping in. A weekend away before that happened would be nice. A weekend away with good stuff before Kasey saw just how bad things could get with me.
“Of course I will. I never said I wouldn’t. I just—no, never mind.”
I squeezed him close. “We’re only going to France,” I told him quietly. “But that’s all you’re getting.”
France, more specifically Paris. Us two in the city of love for a weekend. It was the kind of romantic shit I’d never thought I’d do with anyone, yet here I was. At least it wasn’t planned for bloody Valentine’s Day—though it wouldn’t be long until that rolled around.
Kasey deserved it though, especially considering the crappy relationship he’d been in before we met. And I wanted to do these kinds of things for him—wanted to make him happy. Because he meant everything to me. I might only have been with him for two months—but I’d watched him from afar for an additional two.
And the truth of the matter was that I loved him.
Those weren’t words I’d ever told anyone—not family, not Chad, not even Madison. But I felt them. And actions spoke louder than words, especially when I couldn’t get the words out. It was probably to soon anyway. At least for him, since he hadn’t watched me for two months before I came over him crying one night.
Which meant I'd been slightly obsessed with him for four months. I'd never planned on approaching him though… and then he'd been inconsolable outside the club in the middle of the night, and I couldn't leave him. I was so glad I talked to him, took him home, shagged him… the last hadn't been part of the plan, but it had happened, and now we were here.