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was going to vomit right there on my money.
13
“Yeah, man, but the kinda lovin’ she spoons out is too 14
loud for a small apartment.” I could hear the greed in 15
Ricky’s voice. “Let us stay with you tonight? You know —
16
the same deal you used to make with Clarance.”
17
I saw a hawk through the window. She was stiff-winged 18
and wheeling round.
19
A huntress, I thought, honing in on her prey.
20
The thought chilled me, and I forgot for a moment or 21
two about Ricky on the other end of the line.
22
“You could keep the fifty you owe me,” he said.
23
“I got your fifty right here in my wallet, man.”
24
“Where you get that?”
25
I rose to my feet, holding the bag of money in my right 26
hand.
27 S
“Yeah, you two could stay,” I said. “I’ll even make you 28 R
dinner.”
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■
■
■
1
2
I spent the day taking care of business. I went to the bank 3
in Southampton and gave them four payments on the 4
mortgage, in cash. I paid ahead on the rest of my utilities 5
too. I bought groceries that would last a month or more.
6
That included six quarts of cheap bourbon — I didn’t 7
want to waste any more money on cognac. I also bought 8
paint, paintbrushes, tools, and every kind of cleaning liq-9
uid, brush, and rag. I bought three pairs of jeans, a pair of 10
Timberjack work boots, four checkered flannel shirts, 11
and a new toothbrush. I renewed my subscription to the 12
New York Times, partially because I thought Bennet 13
would want to read it, and bought four CDs of Thelo-14
nious Sphere Monk, whose music was the only thing in 15
the world that Brent and I both loved.
16
I went to the used bookstore in the Harbor and bought 17
fifteen sci-fi hardbacks. Mostly Philip K. Dick and Brian 18
Aldiss. I was digging in for the long haul. This was mainly 19
due to the fear that I’d waste all the money Bennet gave 20
me before I had taken care of business.
21
Brent used to say that money went through my fingers 22
like water down the drain. He wasn’t wrong. The first 23
thing I did when Bennet left was to go out and buy a 24
pure gold ring that I had seen in an antique store in 25
East Hampton. It was a slender thing with a pale green 26
stone for a setting. It was from India, Mrs. Canelli said. It S 27
was a woman’s ring and too small for me, but I wanted it R 28
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anyway. And once I had the money, I couldn’t help 2
myself.
3
My mother gave me my allowance every Saturday 4
morning, and I’d spend the rest of the day shopping for 5
candy and gifts for her.
6
“Don’t spend everything, baby,” she’d tell me. But her 7
eyes were alight whenever I’d bring out a bottle of per-8
fume or some glass trinket.
9
10
11
By the time Ricky and Bethany arrived, I was making 12
dinner. Hot and sweet Italian sausages fried with whole 13
cloves of garlic and then simmered in red wine and 14
tomato sauce. The water for the vermicelli had just come 15
to a boil when Ricky and Bethany came in. She was a few 16
inches taller and almost twice the size of Ricky, but 17
Bethany wasn’t fat. She had a big chest and powerful legs, 18
but the stomach was flat. Her face was wide and the color 19
of dark amber. She had big teeth, an embarrassing laugh, 20
and eyes that glittered when they saw you.
21
“Hey, Charles,” she called. They had let themselves in 22
the front door. “That smells delicious. You got some for 23
us?”
24
“I didn’t know if you guys had time to eat. From what 25
Ricky said I thought you were real tired and had to go to 26
bed.”
27 S
“Uh-uh,” she denied. “We came to see you and eat 28 R
some sausages too.”
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She put her arms around me and gave me a kiss that 1
made me hug her back.
2
“Let’s eat!” Ricky declared. And for a while I had some 3
company and no thoughts in my head.
4
Bethany loved eating and sex, as I have said before, but 5
she also loved to talk about herself. We heard all about her 6
plans of moving down to Atlanta and starting a braid-7
and-nail parlor. She loved children and had gone to some 8
wild parties at crazy artists’ homes in Southampton. One 9
well-known painter had asked her to model three times, 10
but every time he was so moved by her ample beauty that 11
he had to make love to her instead.
12
I could see that most of her stories were designed to ex-13
cite her male audience. It worked. Ricky was almost 14
swooning over her words. He had run into her at a shop-15
ping mall near Riverhead a week or so earlier, and she 16
gave him hopes. Now he was only a sausage away.
17
“Hey, Bethy,” he said.
18
“Yeah?”
19
“I wanna show you somethin’ upstairs.”
20
“What?” she asked.
21
“Somethin’.”
22
“You comin’, Charles?” Bethany pursed her lips and 23
lowered her eyelids. If we were out in nature, I would 24
have killed Ricky right then.
25
“In a few minutes,” I said.
26
Ricky sighed in relief.
S 27
“Okay,” she said, smiling. “But you come on up now.”
R 28
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“I’ll be there.”
2
“Come on,” Ricky said, grabbing her by the arm.
3
“Ow! Don’t be so rough, Ricky. I’m comin’.”
4
I washed the dishes and looked out the window. I was 5
thinking about Anniston Bennet and the bag of money 6
that I had hidden in the foldout sofa bed in my father’s old 7
library. A bagful of money was not a normal thing — that’s 8
what I was thinking. No matter how much the little white 9
man had acted like it was a simple business transaction, it 10
was obvious that h
e wanted to hide what he was doing. It 11
made me nervous, but I couldn’t see any way out of it.
12
Twenty-five hundred dollars of the money was already gone.
13
But how bad could it be? He couldn’t hurt anybody in 14
my basement. He was just little so I knew he couldn’t hurt 15
me. Unless he had a gun. But I could lock the doors while 16
he was down there. Of course a man with a gun could get 17
through a door, or a window.
18
But why would he need to pay me money? Why not 19
just shoot me in the breakfast nook?
20
“Ohhhh.”
21
I couldn’t believe that Bennet had any designs on my 22
welfare. I decided to get drunk and stop worrying about 23
things I couldn’t change.
24
“Ohhhhh.” It was only a whisper. But, I thought, it had 25
to be a roar to make it all the way down into the kitchen 26
from my parents’ room on the third floor. That was the 27 S
deal I usually made with Clarance. He could come to my 28 R
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house with one of his girlfriends. They’d stay on the third 1
floor and I’d sleep downstairs in my father’s den. But it 2
was the first time that Ricky had asked for the deal.
3
I never imagined that Bethany, who spoke in a small 4
high voice, could get the volume to disturb me downstairs.
5
That’s when I remembered being a child. Now and 6
then my parents wanted to be alone, to talk, they said.
7
They’d go into their room and tell me to go play. But all I 8
wanted was to play with them and talk to them. After 9
they sent me away from the door a few times, I’d wander 10
down to the pantry with my toy soldiers and guns. I was 11
happy then because there was a vent that let me hear my 12
parents’ soft murmuring voices while I played soldier.
13
“That’s it, baby,” Bethany said. She might have been 14
talking to me, her voice was so clear. “Right there. Right 15
there. Right there.”
16
Ricky was saying something, and she replied with a 17
whole drawerful of yeses.
18
I hadn’t masturbated in three days because of the alco-19
hol. By the time I got around to that, I was too dizzy to 20
do anything. Bethany was telling Ricky where to move 21
and when he got it right she let go with a strained roar.
22
That was my first orgasm too.
23
I could hear the furniture rocking and Bethany’s 24
squeals. She knew what she wanted and was very specific 25
in her requests. To hear a woman ask for pleasure like that 26
had me on my knees among the boxes of cereal and plas-S 27
R 28
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tic containers of grape juice. After my third orgasm I had 2
to leave the pantry for the living room. There I began to 3
drink. It was necessary to slow down my beating heart.
4
From the sofa I could hear the occasional moan or 5
gasping sob, but the whiskey dulled my urges and I fell 6
half into a doze.
7
8
9
“Charles?” she said. “You awake?”
10
I was asleep on the couch in the living room. At least 11
I think I was asleep. It seemed to me that I had been 12
looking at Bethany in her tight satin slip for quite some 13
time.
14
“Are you awake?”
15
“Uh-huh.”
16
“Ricky’s asleep,” she said as if it was an important piece 17
of information.
18
She sat down next to me and I got up, almost without 19
thinking, and moved to the chair. That made Bethany 20
smile.
21
“You scared of me, Charles Blakey?” she asked.
22
“You know a lot of those rich people come in here from 23
New York, don’t you, Bethy?” I asked.
24
She was confused by my changing her subject but still 25
answered, “Some.”
26
“They do some crazy things, right?”
27 S
“I guess,” she said. “I mean, they think they’re all crazy 28 R
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and wild. And they don’t have to get up and go to work in 1
the morning. Really all the difference I can see is that they 2
think that they’re smarter and better than people don’t 3
make as much money as they do. And they want a lot 4
more. You know, like that artist I used to go with. He 5
wanted to be the best at everything. And he was so rich 6
that everybody told him that he was the best. When he 7
started playing trumpet, his friends said that he sounded 8
like Miles Davis. It wasn’t like us. You know somebody set 9
you straight in a minute around here.”
10
Bethany smiled and I wanted to kiss her, not because 11
she was beautiful, even though she was, but because she 12
wasn’t impressed by the lies rich people wore like clothes.
13
She knew where her feet were planted. Right then I think 14
she wanted to be standing a little closer to me.
15
She stood up and walked over to my chair. I stood to 16
meet her.
17
She was about to lay her hand on my chest, but I took 18
hold of her wrist and gently pushed her away.
19
“I want to see you, Bethy,” I said. “But not downstairs 20
from Ricky after you made him all happy like that.”
21
“We could take a shower,” she suggested.
22
“It’s not that. You know Ricky can get low and dirty, 23
but he’s the only friend I got right now. Believe me, this is 24
not easy. But can I make you some tea?”
25
Bethany frowned for a few seconds, and then she 26
shrugged and smiled. There was a sweater on the floor.
S 27
R 28
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She must have let it fall from her shoulders when she saw 2
me slouching on the couch. Now she picked it up and 3
covered all that youthful beauty.
4
5
6
Over Irish Breakfast (it was 4:30) we discussed the rich 7
white people she’d known. Bethany liked the fine dinners 8
and fancy houses, but rich people — even the black ones, 9
she said — couldn’t satisfy her like people from our neigh-10
borhood.
“It’s just like my people know me better,” she said.
12
“Like Ricky. You know for a while tonight I thought he 13
might have a heart attack, he was so excited. And before 14
he fell off asleep he was talking about Johnetta Johnston 15
and Kirby. You know? Everyday stuff. Rich men always 16
want to be teaching something, asking, Did you know?
17
when they know you don’t know and don’t care neither.”
18
Ricky came down when the sun was just coming up. At 19
first he looked suspicious, but when Bethany showed him 20
her big teeth and said, “Mornin’, baby. Charles made me 21
some tea,” he calmed down and kissed her face and neck.
22
After that they went back upstairs. I was so tired that I 23
didn’t even listen. I went to sleep with my bag of money 24
in my dead father’s foldout sofa and dreamed about An-25
niston Bennet. He was humongous and wedged tight in 26
my cellar, sticking his head out of the trapdoor and beg-27 S
ging to be let free.
28 R
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6
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I spent the next week working on the basement and C 14
reading the books I had bought. Late every afternoon 15
Ricky would call to crow about his further conquests with 16
Bethany. One night they did it on the beach. The next 17
night in an almost-empty movie house. Late late every 18
night Bethany would call me. She just wanted to talk, 19
she’d say. Every conversation would end with her worrying 20
that Ricky was too much in love with her. She liked him 21
and he was sweet, but he wasn’t the kind of man who 22
could ring that bell. Twice she wondered if she could come 23
over in those wee hours, but every time I was strong.
24
“I’d like to see you,” I said. “I really would, but Ricky 25
likes you and I can’t see it to break his heart.”
26
“What if we broke up?” she asked me one night.
S 27
“Could I come over then?”
R 28
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“I don’t know.”
2
“ ’Cause you know it seem like that if you didn’t wanna 3