Hidden Under Her Heart

by Rachelle Ayala

  Maryanne shrugged. “What’s the point? Priya said if we held off from sex we’d get all these nice guys who’d drop on their knees and propose. Instead, I get dragged off to a drunken party and dumped in front of the trash bin.”

  “They didn’t do anything else, did they?” Vera pulled out her car keys and unlocked her Toyota.

  A sickening heaviness descended over Maryanne. “We played some game and they dunked me in water or something. Someone changed my clothes and put me back near my car in the church parking lot.”

  She didn’t mention the recurring dream. The weight pressed against her, heaving and grunting. The spinning globe and the slobbering dog. The showerhead waking her, squirting her as she tried to dodge it. Had Ryan done more to her than play a game? Unthinkable. He seemed to be such a nice guy, the pastor’s son.

  Vera waved in her face. “Hello? Awake there? Emily has a school play. You want to come?”

  Emily was Vera’s seven-year-old niece. Maryanne shuddered as if an icy fingernail had scraped a chalkboard. It would have been the same age. No, she’d not go see Emily or any children in her class.

  “I can’t. Think I’ll relax and watch TV.” Maybe Lucas would swing by with some pizza and stream a movie with her. A girl could always hope.

  “Sure, let me know if you need anything.” Vera shut her car door.

  Maryanne kicked a pebble all the way to her car. She didn’t need anyone’s pity. Everyone walking on eggshells, looking at her sideways, wondering whether the guys did anything to her.

  Her phone jingled with a received text.

  Lucas: Hey, wondering if you have a new swimsuit to model.

  She texted back: What’s the occasion?

  Lucas: Want you to meet my kids.

  Maryanne: Kids?

  Lucas: Swimming lessons, pool, pick you up at 7. [smiley face emoticon]

  Maryanne: OK

  ~~~

  Maryanne pulled on her one-piece Speedo and rubbed the goose bumps over her arms and shoulders. She should learn how to swim if she wanted to vacation with Lucas, the active outdoors man. Besides, there was no better teacher. But then, Lucas without a shirt could be too distracting. Why would she want to put her face in the water instead of rubbing it over his abdominals, pectorals (major and minor), trapezius, deltoids, laterals and obliques?

  She put on a pair of warm-up pants and a hoodie over her swimsuit and drank a glass of cold water.

  Lucas rang the bell a few minutes before seven. He presented her a bouquet of pink roses.

  Her heart did the skipping thing, and she inhaled their fragrance. “They’re lovely.”

  “How’s my best girl?” He kissed her lightly on the lips. “Ready to get dunked?”

  “Not unless I’m your only girl.” Maryanne emptied out the wilted sunflower and blue-bonnets he gave her last week, and arranged the roses in fresh water.

  “The one and only.” He looped his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck.

  An electric spark traveled down her spine. He was way too hot and provocative to be only a friend. Maryanne leaned back into his arms and drew his hands under her hoodie.

  “What? No bikini?” He snapped the one-piece and patted her behind.

  “Has to be PG in front of your special kids. Or was it a more private session you had in mind?” She wiggled her back into his growing appreciation. “Hope the water’s cold.”

  When they arrived at the Lakeside Community Pool, a group of teens, preteens, and their parents met them in the waiting area.

  “Who’s ready to swim?” Lucas high fived a young lady and fist bumped another youth. “Before we get in the water, let’s review the rules. Debby, what’s rule number one?”

  “No running around the pool,” an Asian girl answered.

  “Good one. Rule number two?”

  A boy with dirty blond hair raised his hand.

  “Yes, Tommy?” Lucas asked.

  “No touching in the water.”

  “That’s a good one. And why?”

  “Because it’s rude,” Tommy said. “We get a group hug in the waiting area if no one touches in the water.”

  Lucas winked at Maryanne. “That means you, too. Next rule?”

  A Hispanic youth raised his hand. “I know, I know. Look at Lucas when the whistle blows.”

  “That’s right, Nathan.” Lucas high fived him. “I blow the whistle, everyone stop playing, swimming, and look at me.”

  “And no splashing until game time,” a redheaded girl squealed. “I wanna play rubber duckie.”

  “Okay, Susan. I’ll keep that in mind,” Lucas said. “Whoever has no red flags gets to pick. Everyone in your swimsuits, give your towels and clothes to your parents. No running!”

  The students headed to the stalls with their parents.

  “Red flags?” Maryanne tiptoed toward Lucas and whispered, “You’re treating them like little kids.”

  “They have various developmental delays, Down syndrome and other issues but are high functioning. I’m not being insulting. They tend to get exuberant, and I need to put some controls in place.” He patted her behind. “Think you can keep your hands off me?”

  “That was definitely a red flag.” Maryanne twirled her hair and tied it back with a rubber band. “I’ll think of the appropriate punishment for you after we finish.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” Lucas dived into the deep end and surfaced with a shake of his head. Water glistened in his cropped curls, and he looked positively scrumptious.

  The students returned. One by one, they either slid into the pool or walked down the steps. Maryanne took off her hoodie and pants, folded them into her duffel bag, and sat at the edge.

  “Who that?” Debby pointed.

  “Class, meet Maryanne. She’s my friend and a nurse.”

  “Hi, Maryanne.” The class waved.

  “Coach Lucas, are you sick?” Nathan asked.

  “A little bit.” Lucas pointed to his head, then his heart. “Okay, gang. Grab a kickboard, and go across and back four times.”

  Lucas’ antics made Maryanne smile. She didn’t know why she’d found him annoying before. Maybe it had to do with wanting to conquer or possess a man. Now that she no longer worried about the future, she enjoyed his companionship without pressure and strings.

  “Come on, get going!” Lucas handed out the kickboards. “Here’s one for you, Miss Maryanne.”

  Laughing and splashing, four of the students grabbed their kickboards and headed to the lanes. Maryanne took a kickboard and sat at the side of the pool. She watched Lucas help the last student put her face into the water. She kept shaking her head and playing with her goggles after each try.

  “You’re doing great, Gloria. Ready? I want to see you blow lots of bubbles.”

  Gloria’s mother knelt at the side and praised her for each attempt. Lucas waded to Maryanne’s side. “Why aren’t you kicking?”

  She held her arms and shivered. “I know how to kickboard.”

  “Show me.” He tugged her arm before she could answer.

  With a scream, she fell into the water. She could barely hold her breath with the urge to giggle and punch him at the same time. Some jokes were too much. She scrambled and sputtered before gaining her footing.

  Lucas chuckled and straightened her arms on the kickboard. He whispered in her ear, “I want you to push off me, nice and slow.”

  “You have two red flags already, mister.” Now why did her voice have to be so breathless?

  The other four students waded to their side of the pool.

  “No touching in the water,” Debby said.

  “Coach, do you like her?” Tommy’s eyes gleamed.

  Nathan waded to Maryanne and stared at her. “I like you. Will you be my special girl?”

  Maryanne smiled. “Let’s be best friends and kickboard to the other side and back.”

  “Come on,” Nathan said. White teeth gleamed from his pudgy face as he slicked his hair from hi
s eyes.

  Maryanne joined the group with their kickboards. The splash and spray of water and the gleeful laughter of the students lifted her spirits. She raced them until her legs felt like rubber and she could barely catch her breath.

  Lucas held Gloria level in the water on her back. Her arms were straight out to the side.

  “They’re playing dead,” Tommy said. “Gloria’s new. She’s artistic.”

  “Artistic? Or you mean autistic,” Maryanne clarified.

  “She gets upset if we make too much noise,” Nathan said.

  “We can’t stare at her,” Susan said.

  Debby cupped her hand to whisper, “But she likes Coach Lucas. He’s the only one she smiles at.”

  “She can’t swim yet,” Tommy said. “That’s cuz she’s artistic.”

  Gloria’s eyes were closed as Lucas pulled her ever so gently by the shoulders and allowed her to float to the other end of the pool. Her mother followed so that Gloria could see her in case she opened her eyes.

  “Keep your head back and hips up,” Lucas said as he removed his hands. “You’re doing it. You’re floating. Good job, Gloria.”

  Gloria opened her eyes. At first she appeared not to see anyone. Her arms were stretched to the side and she fluttered them.

  “You’re swimming, Gloria. Isn’t it fun?” Lucas said tenderly.

  She made sounds, not words, but her smile beamed and brightened her entire face. She looked at Lucas and made eye contact for a brief moment. Then she closed her eyes and dropped to her feet.

  Gloria’s mother helped her out of the pool and hugged her. “You did great, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

  Lucas said goodbye to them and turned to the rest of the class, clapping his hands. “All right, gang, let’s work on your strokes.”

  Maryanne climbed out of the pool and wrapped herself in a towel.

  “Wait, where are you going?” Lucas’ eyes sparkled. “Lessons aren’t over yet.”

  “I don’t know any strokes.”

  His cheeks blew and he snuffled with suppressed laughter. “I’d love to show you a few in private. I’m sure you’re quite talented.”

  She flipped him the bird but her insides went soft and gooey. His session with Gloria showed the real Lucas, the kind and caring man, patient and soothing. She had an idea why he resorted to jokes to gain acceptance. Being an unwanted child had its lasting effects. But he didn’t know she saw through him and loved him anyway. She tracked him as he encouraged the students from one end of the pool to the other.

  A mother sat down next to Maryanne. “Hi, I’m Debby’s mother, Sarah.”

  “Nice to meet you, I’m Maryanne.”

  “He’s a remarkable young man, isn’t he?” Sarah said.

  “Yes, he definitely is.” Maryanne sighed inside. If only he’d stop insisting they’d just be friends.

  Chapter 12

  It was late in the evening when they left the swimming pool. Lucas held Maryanne’s hand, and they walked up the stairs to her apartment. She was so cute the way she blushed and feigned anger at his jokes. He leaned into her against the side of the stairwell. “I’m ready for my punishment.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “You only molested me in the pool after all the students left. I ought to report you.”

  “You enjoyed every minute of it.” He bent down for a kiss, but she turned her face abruptly.

  “You’re not getting off that easily.” She rubbed his forearms. “I want a backrub.”

  “In the shower or on the bed?”

  She pushed away from the wall. “Certainly not here. Come on.”

  They turned the corner toward her door. Ryan stood there with a long golden box tied with a red bow, the type used for long-stemmed roses.

  Lucas dropped Maryanne’s hand. “What’s he doing here?”

  “I don’t know.” She stepped forward, but Lucas blocked her.

  “I came to apologize.” Ryan looked straight at Maryanne.

  “She doesn’t want to see you.” Lucas clenched his fists. “Go away.”

  Ryan laid the box of roses on the doormat. “About the other night? I want to explain.”

  Lucas’ jaw tightened with the knot in his throat. “Oh yeah? Then explain to the police why she had drugs in her system.”

  Ryan shook his head slowly. “I didn’t know about the drugs. Honest. Except it might be the reason I passed out, too. I didn’t wake up until late the next day. I had no idea she’d been taken to the hospital.”

  “Who gave her the drugs and left her in the church parking lot if it wasn’t you?” Lucas felt his blood surging through his arteries.

  “I don’t know. Honest. They said she left with you.” Ryan swept his long blond bangs from his face.

  Lucas shoved Ryan into the wall. “She was with you when I left.”

  “Okay, man, I’m not looking for trouble.” Ryan raised his hands. He glanced at Maryanne. “I’m really sorry. You were my date, and I should have seen you home safely.”

  “You got her drunk and who knows what else you did.” Lucas grabbed Ryan’s shirt and pushed him toward the stairs. “Stay away from her or I’m going to kill you.”

  “Lucas.” Maryanne tugged his arm. “He came to speak to me. At least we should hear what he has to say.”

  “What?” Lucas threw his hands in the air. “He’s only going to lie to you.”

  “How do you know?” Maryanne said in a low voice. “You claim you left me there.”

  The dull ache spread from the pit of his stomach into his chest. He punched his own thighs with both hands. “I wish to God you came with me, but you stayed… with him.”

  Ryan had that deer-in-the-headlights look. “I’m sorry I disturbed you. You were obviously having a nice evening before I arrived.”

  Maryanne didn’t acknowledge him. She kept her eyes on Lucas, and her fingernails dug into his arms, like she was afraid he’d attack Ryan as he walked away.

  “Are you satisfied?” she hissed. “He’s gone now. He might have known who drove me to the parking lot.”

  “You don’t get it.” He felt his blood pressure rise like a plume of lava. “He’s trying to pin it on me. Everyone is. The black man did it. That’s what that sleazy lawyer, Barry O’Brien, said when he met me at the parking lot.”

  Maryanne gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth. “Barry? You met him?”

  “Oh yeah, first on the scene with the ambulance. You’d think the 911 operator tipped him off. Said I didn’t look like a member of his church and for me to get my black ass off the property.”

  Her face twisted into a pained look. “You always think it’s about race, don’t you?”

  “Because sister, that’s what the world sees. You’ve got Ryan, the shining golden boy, he can’t do no wrong, and then there’s me.”

  “Stop it. Stop!” She grabbed her head with both hands. “Why is it so important for you to say Ryan did something? Nothing happened, okay? I got drunk, someone cleaned me up and put me in my car. Case closed.”

  She headed toward her door and picked up the box of flowers. Without looking at him, she unlocked her door, stepped in, and shut it behind her.

  Nausea hit Lucas so hard he recoiled and clutched his stomach. Why couldn’t she see through that phony? His tousled blond hair and chiseled jaw charmed all the women at that sorry excuse of a church—his personal pickup arena.

  He looked around to see if Ryan still lurked. The stairway was clear and so was the inner courtyard. He walked across the street and sat inside a bus stop where he had a good view of the entrance hallway.

  A half-hour went by, then an hour. Ryan hadn’t returned. They’d probably talked on the phone. Shit. He should have tried calling her to see if she’d pick up. He pulled his phone from his pocket and redialed her number.

  One, two, three rings. It would probably go to voice-mail. Lucas ground his teeth, his tongue swollen and dry.

  “Hello, Lucas?” she answered the call.

 
His heart skipped and sweat moistened his palms. “Is everything okay?”

  “Did you try calling my landline?”

  “No.”

  “Oh, okay.” Maryanne sounded calmer. “Someone was calling while I was in the shower.”

  “I’m sorry for yelling and upsetting you.” He walked out of the bus stop and slipped into a parking garage. He didn’t want her to see him and think he was stalking her.

  “You didn’t upset me. I’m just confused. I kind of remember throwing that drink in your face. Are you sure you didn’t see me afterwards?”

  A sickening sensation ground his gut. Why was she questioning him? What had Ryan put in her mind? Accused him of?

  “Sweetheart, I’ve wished so many times I dragged you away from that party. You don’t know how sick I felt when I found you.”

  Maryanne made an incoherent whimpering sound. Lucas crossed the street and headed up her stairs.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “Can I come in?”

  “Wh-where are you?”

  He tapped on her door. “Maryanne?”

  No response.

  “Can I come in?”

  He glanced at his cell. The call had ended. He blew big puffs of air and planted his hands on his knees. This was too much. She obviously distrusted him, took Ryan’s word over his. Tomorrow, he’d call Zach and join him in Colorado. Move away and get her out of his mind. He ran down the stairs, past his car, and kept running until he reached his apartment twelve miles away.

  ~~~

  Maryanne turned over on her bed and threw off the blankets. She glanced at the alarm clock. 12:35 am. Her front door shook with sharp raps. What the hell emergency was going on, or was it just Lucas? She shouldn’t have hung up on him. How could she possibly doubt him? He, who had cared for her while she was sick. Maryanne plodded to the living room and flung the door open.

  Barry O’Brien stood on the doormat and removed his leather driving gloves.

  Maryanne pulled her robe tighter over her chest. “What are you doing here?”

  “May I come in?” His smile was pasted on like an orthodontic commercial.

  “It’s after midnight. What do you want?”

  He sidestepped through the open door and craned his neck in the direction of the bedrooms. “Don’t tell me you’re entertaining guests. If so, I apologize, but this will be short.”