Hidden Under Her Heart

by Rachelle Ayala

  “I didn’t go through with it.” Her voice was small, barely there. “My father hit a boy on a bicycle and the time passed. The boy was okay, but I was late for work, so I scheduled another appointment in two weeks.”

  “Oh, thank God.” Lucas took a deep breath of relief. “At least it gives you time to think about it.”

  “Lucas.” Her voice sharpened. “I don’t know why I bother calling you. You don’t care how I feel, all you’re thinking about is this thing growing inside of me and how you wished you could be a father.”

  Her words punched his gut and knocked the wind out of him. “I-I can’t believe you said that. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

  “Well, this is the worst thing that ever happened to me,” she said through sobs and gulps. “And if you can’t understand how I feel, I don’t think we can even be friends. Don’t bother calling, because I won’t pick up.”

  The phone cut off. Lucas stared at her name on the display. Why had she called him? He’d better figure out how he really felt about this situation before contacting her again.

  ~~~

  Maryanne slunk back to the Allergy clinic while the others were at their lunch break. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Her father had left angry. Lucas hadn’t been sympathetic either, and she had a lot of work to catch up on. She worked the rest of the day alone, not even bothering to attend Vera’s birthday celebration. The stupid bet no longer mattered. Vera had won, and if she wanted to claim the prize, so be it.

  Dr. Lee tapped her monitor. “May I have a word with you in my office?”

  Great, this was the last thing she needed. She followed him to his office. He motioned to a chair and shut the door.

  “You were always one of the best nurses, especially when it comes to patients.” Dr. Lee lowered his glasses and stared at her. “Lately, you seem distracted and abrupt, and you’re always behind on your chart work.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”

  “You’ve already taken a week off. We had to scramble and pay the other nurses overtime. And you must improve with your patient contact immediately. A few patients have requested not to have you give them shots.”

  Maryanne’s insides swam with a bleak nausea. “Did they say why?”

  Dr. Lee grimaced and took a deep breath. “They’re upset that we have a nurse who was in an indecent video. Allergy is a highly desirable position. Regular hours and weekends off. I can’t keep rearranging everyone’s schedule because of you. If patients refuse to see you, I have no choice but to send you back to the floor.”

  Shift work and changing bedpans. Her fingers trembled. If she couldn’t get a good recommendation from Dr. Lee, how would she get into graduate school?

  “Well? Do you have anything to say?” Dr. Lee steepled his fingers.

  “I’ll try harder. I promise.”

  Dr. Lee’s lips tightened into a thin line. “You’re usually very good. I’m disappointed that you’ve let your personal life interfere with work.”

  “I won’t let it happen again.” Maryanne pasted a smile on her face.

  “Don’t make me have this conversation with you again.” Dr. Lee thumped his hands on the desk and stood. “And a word of warning. Dating a patient is grounds for removing your license. Now, get back to work.”

  Maryanne escaped out the door and scrambled to her workstation. How did Dr. Lee know about Lucas? She couldn’t take more trouble. Tears brimmed in her eyes, but she didn’t dare wipe them. Fortunately the clinic was done with shots for the day, and Vera had taken the last group. Numbly, Maryanne organized the allergen vials and took inventory.

  Footsteps of departing coworkers filed out the door, and a hand tapped her shoulder. Vera knelt next to her in front of the refrigerator. “Hey, you okay?”

  “Not really.” Maryanne shoved the tray back and ticked off the allergens that needed restocking.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Give me a minute to finish up.” Maryanne typed the stock numbers and quantities into the computer. She checked in her patient charts and logged off.

  Vera met her at the door and hugged her. “I saw Dr. Lee take you into his office. Was it bad?”

  Tears bubbled down Maryanne’s face. “Everything’s falling apart. My dad’s suing Lion Ministries. Dr. Lee gave me a warning. He said the patients don’t want to see me.”

  Vera jerked Maryanne into the hallway. “The only patient who quit the clinic was Lucas. He came in this morning and asked to be transferred to the Redwood City branch.”

  “He hates me.” Maryanne hastily wiped her eyes.

  “I thought he came back from Colorado for you.” Vera led the way to the hospital cafeteria. “What happened? Did you have a fight?”

  “It’s too long a story.” She handed Vera a ten dollar bill. “I need to use the restroom. Order me the usual?”

  “Sure.” Vera headed for the counter.

  Maryanne ducked into the restroom and checked her cell phone. Her father had texted her several times asking her to write down the names of all the people at the party, as well as the people she met at the singles’ group meeting. There were no missed calls or texts from Lucas.

  She texted him: Can we talk? I’m sorry for what I said.

  There was no reply. She called him and it went to voice mail. “Lucas, I didn’t mean what I said about you. Can you call me?”

  No answer. She stalked out of the bathroom. Vera was sitting in a booth near the restroom.

  “Oh, there you are. What’s going on?”

  Maryanne burst into tears. “I’m pregnant, and you win the bet. I might get fired, so I don’t know if I can pay it off.”

  “Wait, wait.” Vera’s eyes grew wide. “You’re pregnant? Is Lucas the father?”

  “N-no. It’s one of the guys at the party. I don’t know who.”

  “What? Didn’t you take the rape exam? The morning-after pill?”

  Maryanne fumbled with the paper on the straw and sipped water to wet her throat. “I didn’t think anything happened. It was confusing. Someone dunked me in a shower, and then I was being driven somewhere. They put old lady clothes on me. When I woke up near a dumpster, Lucas was standing over me.”

  “The church says Lucas is the rapist.”

  Maryanne clutched her throat. “No way.”

  “Frank told me they all gave statements to the police that Lucas dragged you from the party. He said several of the guys tried to stop him, but you said you wanted to go with him, that he was your boyfriend.”

  “No, I wasn’t with Lucas. I was with Ryan in his father’s study, playing strip Pictionary. That much I finally remember.”

  Vera pursed her lips. “But Ryan passed out. The other guys said they saw Lucas tampering with the punch, and presumably Ryan also drank the same stuff you did, or shared your drink at some point.”

  “They’re lying.” Maryanne glared at Vera. “And where were you? You’re my best friend. Why weren’t you with me?”

  Vera dropped her gaze to the table. She twisted a napkin and picked at her nail polish. “I was having sex in the cabana.”

  “With who?”

  “Zach, Lucas’ training partner.”

  Chapter 17

  Lucas turned off his cell and shook hands with Detective Mathews. The detective was a black man and did not seem hostile.

  “Is your lawyer on the way?” The detective led him down a corridor to a closed steel door with a wire reinforced window. “You’ll need to leave your cell phone outside.”

  A red-faced man adjusted his tie and hurried to their side. “Lucas Knight? I’m Owen Williams. You spoke to me on the phone.”

  Lucas shook his hand. “Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

  “My client is not a suspect, is he?” Owen shook Mathews’ hand.

  Mathews darted a glance at Lucas. “Person of interest, routine questioning, but he insisted on lawyering up.”

  Owen straightened his lapels. “Smart m
ove.”

  Lucas handed his cell phone to the guard and followed them into the interrogation room. Detective Mathews switched on a recorder. Lucas stated his name, occupation, address and listed his activities leading up to the evening of May 24.

  Mathews rocked his pen between his fingers. “What time did you arrive at Pastor Edwards’ residence?”

  “Around 11:30 or so.”

  “And then?”

  “I spoke to Frank, the captain of the church basketball team. He took me downstairs to the gameroom. Then I saw Maryanne at the bar and tried to talk to her. She went with Ryan, the pastor’s son, into a private room to play Pictionary. He wouldn’t let me in, said it was a private party. I pounded on the door and Maryanne came out. She threw a drink in my face and went back in.”

  “Do you still have the clothes you were wearing?” The detective tugged at his goatee.

  “Yes, but I washed them.”

  “Too bad. Might have shown traces of the date rape drug.” Mathews pointed his pen at Lucas. “Tell me what you saw after that. Anything stick out?”

  “It was really quiet, foggy. Lots of trash, the grass and flower beds had been trampled. The lights around the pool were still on.” Lucas scratched his head. “I thought it was strange. The cabana was lit, but people had stopped swimming even before I arrived.”

  Detective Mathews glanced at Owen, then turned a predatory gaze at Lucas. “Did you step into the cabana? See anyone in there?”

  “No, I didn’t. It was the last thought I had when I got into my car. Are you saying…” a chill slithered down his spine, “that’s where it happened?”

  “We don’t know. The cabana and all other parts of the estate had been thoroughly cleaned before we had a search warrant.”

  “But doesn’t the video show where they were?” Lucas wiped his forehead. “It could be evidence.”

  “You’ve seen it.” Mathews’ mouth turned down. “Very grainy. They definitely turned off the lights before that part. Our techs are trying to enhance it. Let’s move on to your actions after leaving the estate.”

  Lucas described the phone call from his sister asking him to go to Redwood City and how he found her later at home. Mathews noted it down and frowned. “All the other people we interviewed said Maryanne left with you when you dragged her out of that room. Can your sister corroborate your story?”

  “The phone records would show she called.”

  “Yes, but you just told me she was not there. Did anyone at the club see you, perhaps?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe the parking lot attendant?”

  “Wait,” Owen interjected. “I need the list of people you interviewed. There must have been someone who saw my client leave the estate alone.”

  “I’ll prepare the list for you.” Mathews shook his head slowly. “The pastor and his wife were out of town, and most of the young ladies left with the Bible college bus. Only the band members, the pastor’s sons and a few stragglers stayed at the party. Even Maryanne’s friend, Vera, had disappeared.”

  And Zach, too. Lucas stared at the lines on his palms. Now that he thought about it, Zach had not been there to meet him. Pins and needles prickled Lucas’ legs and feet, and sweat dripped down the side of his temple. It figured they’d try to pin this on him, an outsider, a black man.

  The interview finished and Lucas shook hands with the detective. Mathews was sharp and efficient, but seemed to have an open mind about the investigation. Maybe he’d catch a break, finally. Lucas retrieved his cell and walked with Owen out the front entrance of the police station.

  “You had dinner?” Owen asked. “It’s on me and non-billing.”

  “Sure, okay. My cousin said you’re the best, but still affordable.”

  “I’m just a nice guy.” Owen puffed his chest and rocked on his heels. “Besides, I don’t like that megachurch railroading it on you when their pretty pastor boys were probably behind it.”

  They walked a couple of blocks to a diner, a country western styled building that looked out of place among the usual Silicon Valley fare. It had shingles down the side and window and door panels with matching Z’s and X’s. A weathervane sporting a pig stood on the cupola above the entrance.

  “Welcome to the Hoot,” Owen said, opening the door. “Best Southern food this side of the Mississippi.”

  A strawberry blond waitress seated them in a corner booth and poured coffee for them. Lucas slipped over the cracked vinyl held together with duct tape and checked his messages while Owen perused the menu.

  There was a missed call and two text messages from Maryanne. His pulse accelerated. She was sorry for what she said and wanted to be friends again? He wiped his face. If she was so adamant about the abortion, why would she want contact with him? They’d never agree and end up hurting each other.

  “You look like you’re thinking hard.” Owen cut in.

  “I don’t understand.” Lucas scrolled through the message. “This woman reamed me for not being supportive and said we couldn’t be friends anymore, and now she’s leaving text messages saying she’s sorry and wants me to call her.”

  Owen chuckled. “It’s elementary. She wants you to call her even though she doesn’t want to be friends.”

  “We disagree on something fundamental. She even said herself that we shouldn’t bother talking about it.”

  Owen blew on the coffee and took a sip. “Don’t believe a woman when she says ‘don’t bother.’ It usually means, bother me and figure out what I want. Is this the woman at the center of this church scandal?”

  “Yes, she’s really hurting.” Lucas tapped on a picture of Maryanne at the beach in front of the setting sun.

  “I can guess. I’ve heard the rumors. Her father’s not making it easier with all the lawsuits flying around. I’m sure she needs a friend. As your lawyer, I have to tell you to stay away from her, but I suspect you’ll do just the opposite.”

  Lucas started to text Maryanne and stopped. “Would you be upset if I left right now? If she needs me, I should go to her.”

  “I see a gal having dinner by herself,” Owen said. “Go, go.”

  ~~~

  Maryanne booted her new laptop. Her father had felt guilty for ruining hers, but now she had to restore all her files from backup. What a pain. Meanwhile Lucas hadn’t called her back. Not that she blamed him after how mean she’d been. She checked the messages on her home phone. A clinic in Modesto had an opening next week. She called and accepted the appointment for Monday, July 8. She’d visit her parents for the 4th of July weekend and stop by on the way back.

  It’s not really a baby, just tissue, a blob of cells. A simple outpatient medical procedure was nothing to get worked up about. Her hands shook as she wiped the sweat from her nose and spread her books on the table. Someone rapped on her door. It was probably her father, who’d forgotten his jacket.

  She opened it without looking through the peephole. Lucas stood there with a bouquet of flowers, one of those ten dollar wilted ones wrapped in yellow paper from the supermarket.

  “Oh, hi.” Her heart fluttered even as her stomach turned a queasy loop. “Come in.”

  He looked around before crossing the threshold and gave her the bouquet. “Thought you might want some company.”

  She sniffed the assorted flowers. Her mouth turned dry, and she gestured to the sofa. “Thanks for coming.”

  He patted his chest. “Yeah, well, I’m still looking for tire marks after your father ran over me.”

  “He’s a tornado.” She almost giggled. “But he’s gone now. Went home to take care of my mom.”

  “Your mom? I’ve never heard you talk about her.” Lucas sat on the loveseat.

  “Mom had a nervous breakdown a few years back. She’s in a fantasy world, and only my father knows how to humor her.” Not wanting to get too close to him, she perched on the armrest. “Lucas, I said something really mean to you this morning. I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t smile, didn’t even look her direction.
He hunched his shoulders and spoke to the coffee table. “If you wanted to hurt me, that would be it.”

  A stabbing pain hit her between the ribs. She’d been cruel. Lucas had told her his most painful secret, and she threw it in his face. Just because she felt like crap didn’t mean she should kick him where it hurts. She set the bouquet down and walked to the kitchen to lean over the sink. Queasiness welled up her throat along with the tears in her eyes.

  “Hey.” He stood behind her and squeezed her shoulders. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

  Relief warmed her insides. How could he be so kind to her? She turned into his arms. “I feel so bad.”

  “It’s okay.” He kissed her cheek. “I should have been more sensitive to what you’re going through.”

  Pressure swelled in her sinuses. She swallowed to hold back the ever-present tears. “I don’t want to drag you into this.”

  His arms felt too good, too inviting and comforting. She snuggled into his chest, wishing she had the strength to turn away, to deal with her problems on her own.

  Lucas stroked her hair gently. “I’m already involved. The police questioned me today.”

  She straightened and stared at him. “What did they want?”

  “Routine questioning, but it seems the church is trying to frame me. Their witnesses say you left the party with me.”

  “B-but, that’s not true. I’ll tell them I stayed with Ryan. That memory’s coming back.”

  He picked her up and placed her on the counter, facing him. “No. It’s better you stay out of it. The doctor can testify you had no memory due to the drugs. My lawyer’s trying to find someone who saw me leave the party by myself.”

  “How about Zach?”

  “Didn’t see him. Besides, he’s out of state and doesn’t want to get involved. Lion Ministries is one of his sponsors.”

  “Thought he was your friend.” Maryanne squeezed his hand. “I believe you. I wish so much I had listened to you.”

  He kissed her cheek. “We can’t keep regretting the past. The important thing is what are you going to do now?”

  Everything was crashing in on her. She took a deep breath and adjusted the waistband of her pants. “I want it to go away, like it never happened.”