My Kind of Perfect

by Lockheart, Freesia

  But it was unfair. He was all over the news. And I was like what? Someone whom he could totally avoid without even trying?

  Turning my gaze to the open window, I stared at the blue sky and got lost in my thoughts once more. Back here in Creeksburg, the sky was more vibrant. The white clouds hovered in the sky, adding life to the solid blue firmament, just like how my muddled feelings added contrast to the once perfect life I thought I had. Somehow, those things that had happened taught me how to feel.

  I came to realize that love was more than just feeling butterflies in your stomach or feeling weak on your knees. Or dating the most handsome guy around. Sometimes, it also involved a lot of heart and understanding. And at times, letting that person go if needed. No matter how bad you wanted to stay with him. When you loved someone for real, the world didn't revolve around what you wanted. You started to give thought to every single thing there was.

  That was something that the old Kayla would never know. But all things had changed when I met him... again. He changed everything.

  We all had that. That one guy whom you’d unconsciously think of in the middle of the day and could make you smile just because. Or that person who popped into your head when you heard that love song playing on the radio. Probably, he would also be the reason why you were crying in the middle of the night, biting your pillow so that no one would hear. The one whom you’d suddenly miss when the cool winds of December seeped into your skin or when the summer heat perched into your soul. We all had that one person who got the best of us and touched our hearts in a funny way. And we were never the same again.

  Chapter 24

  What on earth had happened to him?

  I incredulously stared at John Brooks whose hair was muddled and looked like he hadn't combed it for days. I also noticed that his tie was a little bit crooked and he got those deep bags under his eyes. A faint smile was kept on his face and I was certain that every viewer knew that he was noticeably forcing himself to be okay.

  “Mr. Brooks is it true that you're going to accept the Ms. Frost's proposal?” asked one of the reporters who was intently following him.

  “No, there is no truth behind those humors,” he confirmed.

  I immediately exhaled in relief, releasing my thumb from being clasped in between my teeth. Then I realized that I shouldn't be exhaling for that. What was I even doing? Logically speaking, John should accept Amanda Frost’s proposal. Amanda could save him. She was right for him.

  “Then do you have any other plans to keep the business going?” asked the reporter again.

  John stopped from walking and faced the camera as he answered, “Yes, the business is still hanging on. We made some new investments in the past weeks.”

  “How about that girl...” the reporter tried asking again but John cut him off as he held his hand in front of him.

  “Let's not talk about her,” he said, avoiding the camera and heading on his way. His security team soon took over and the news about him ended just like that.

  I couldn’t help but smile. I owed him for taking the entire spotlight for himself and saving me from the misery of having to face reporter every day. He specifically asked them to not interfere with my private life and made sure that no reporter would get the chance to peer into my privacy. He had those two or three men-in-blacks outside my apartment to keep me from those meddlesome reporters. And two months after, they were still there and following me around.

  This was the last glint of the spotlight that I had once taken.

  And for me it all ended that day. But for him, it was still going on. A couple of months after that day, he was still being questioned about every single thing. And right now, he was caught up in another mess as the only daughter of one of the most prestigious family had taken a liking on him.

  That would be Amanda Frost.

  That girl had offered her help to him by asking him to marry her in live television while doing one of her regular talk shows. Everyone swooned and thought that it was all romantic—girl saving a guy from falling six feet down the slump. But all I got was goosebumps and hefty sighs, feeling that my existence became less by the minute. What could a girl like me offer to him now?

  ‘Drag him into the normal world,’ Sandy's words echoed in my head.

  And then what? Make him lose everything he had thoroughly kept until now? That was something that even my twisted conscience would not allow.

  I turned off the TV and lay my back on the sofa. Turning to my side, I saw that velvet box again. Three days later, I hadn't even said a word to Aaron nor answer his second attempt of proposing marriage to me.

  Two months of nothing but complete lost in your own thoughts made me think about everything that had happened in my life. It was like I was reminded of what had really occurred rather than what I thought was happening. For one, I thought about what Aaron did and how I made a fool out of myself for even considering to forgive him and take him again. He was nothing but a total douche-bag. I made myself a fool once. And I would never consider making it twice.

  And then there came Mr. Brooks whom I had known since we were young. The same one I disregarded before and had recently made a spectacular comeback.

  Talk about the irony of love.

  I heard my phone beep, instantly pulling me out of my thoughts. Picking it up from the table, I opened the message and the world turned blank afterward. No. Actually, the world was still there but my soul had already departed from it.

  It was because he sent me a message.

  After days and days of no show, he had finally texted me. I had been enduring it for the last two months and it was him who finally gave in. That was just my wishful thinking that he finally yielded to that overwhelming feeling of missing me so bad that he finally sent me a message. It was how I felt. And somehow, I also wished that it was also the same for him. But as I said, it was just my wishful thinking.

  John: Can you come out for a while? I'm waiting at the park near your apartment.

  I had read the message again and again for who knew how long until it finally sunk in that he had sent me a message. Picking myself up, I hurriedly grabbed a brush and combed my hair. Putting on some lip gloss, I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a blonde girl whose eyes were sparkling with happiness that even if she tried composing herself, her feelings were oozing out on its own.

  Almost running my way out, I locked the door in haste and headed out of the building. Walking towards the park near my place, my heart went wild with my every step. I stopped on my tracks and fixed my hair before turning to the corner where the park was.

  Catching my breath, I rubbed my hands together. I suddenly felt cold even though summer had already started. Just the thought of seeing him made me feel unwell and it was like I was losing my feet on the ground. I exhaled and told myself to stay calm and keep sane. I reminded myself that it would be all too weird if I jumped out of joy in front of him.

  After making sure that I was not freaking out anymore, I walked towards the park. But I stopped again when I saw him sitting there on the swing, lightly pushing himself back and forth. And just like how I had seen him before in the news, he was as distorted. Seeing him from a distance, it was like he aged ten years in just several months.

  Walking towards him, I kept my footfalls as quiet as it could possibly be. I did not want to startle him or make him know that I was already here. I wanted to have this few more seconds to gaze at him like the way I wanted to. Not being bothered if I looked too weird or entirely dumbfounded.

  Seeing that he stopped from moving, I realized that he must now be aware that I was already here. Keeping my face straight, I saw him turned his head to my direction. And in one heart-stopping moment, our eyes met.

  “Hi,” he greeted, holding my eyes in straight in his own.

  “Hi,” I said back, my voice muddled.

  And just like that, the world stopped moving and it felt like we were the only ones around. The passersby suddenly disappeared altogether into
the depths of the night. The loud honking of the cars entirely stilled as the only sound I heard was my wildly beating heart in my chest. I just hoped that I didn't look too stupid in front of him, seeing how I was feeling all this confusing emotions inside.

  He broke the clunky silence as he said, “How have you been?”

  Clearing my throat, I forced some words out. “I'm doing fine. You?”

  “Just the same, everything's going well,” he uttered, lying all the way through. It was clear that he was exhausted. Not well, definitely. Everything about him told so.

  I took a seat at the empty swing beside him, looking away. I caught my breath, trying to even it out. “Why did you call me out here?”

  He didn't answer. His gaze was lost.

  I tried calling him, “John?”

  “Huh?”

  “Are you even here? What are you thinking?” I faintly muttered. “By the way, how's Dorothy?”

  He just nodded.

  What was that supposed to mean?

  “Is she doing well?” I asked again.

  He simply nodded, looking away this time.

  Right, it was a forbidden topic for both of us.

  “It’s okay if you don’t want to—“

  “She's fine,” he finally said.

  “That's good to hear,” I said to him, looking ahead and pushing my feet against the ground. The moment passed on, but even though no one actually said a word, it felt like we were already having a meaningful conversation. Or maybe it was just me.

  “Kayla?” I heard someone unnecessarily called my name from behind, breaking the serene moment.

  No. It was just my imagination, I convinced myself. But I noticed that John turned around to the direction where the voice came from. He also heard it. So it wasn’t just my imagination. Looking back, my eyes widened in shock as I saw Aaron.

  I immediately blurted, “What are you doing here?”

  “I'm on my way to your flat. Who's he?” he asked as he pointed to John.

  “Why are you going to my place?” I asked him.

  “To visit you?” he suggested, not being bothered by the tone of my voice.

  “Who's he?” John asked the same question to me.

  I totally forgot to introduce both of them to each other. This was awkward but it wasn’t as if I had a better choice. So I said, “John, this is Aaron. Aaron, this is John.”

  I had decided that I'd rather not do any further introductions. Labeling them would be like saying, ‘Ex-fake-hubby John, this is Aaron. Ex-boyfriend Aaron, this is John.’

  So really, it was all weird if I would say it like that.

  They both just nodded and hadn't even bothered on offering a hand like normal people did with introductions. And they got this stern atmosphere built up in between them instantly. Did they even know each other for them to act this way?

  “So, you're Aaron,” John mused, standing on his feet and placing himself in between me and Aaron.

  “Yeah?” Aaron asked, confused. But the sharpness in his voice was also clear. I placed my bet that he hadn't watched the news for the last few weeks. He completely regarded John as a total stranger.

  “Is he the one from before?” John asked me, slightly turning his head to my direction.

  “The one form where?” I confusedly asked him.

  “The one who ran off with some other girl.” His voice was grimmer than before. In that month of being together, there were some other things that I had shared with him, including my not so fortunate love encounters before.

  I simply nodded, cautious as I beheld both of their reactions. I saw some color drifted off from Aaron's face when he saw me agree. But it was John who spoke, “And what is he trying to do now? Could you two be back together?”

  “No,” Aaron answered though the question was clearly meant for me. “But I'm trying to win her back. And who are you to her?”

  I kept my mouth shut, wanting to hear what John would answer. I was actually curious about it even if it wouldn’t be that much of a positive answer. The last thing he said about us was that we were friends.

  The soundless seconds ticked and it was as if my heart stilled with it. It was the moment when everything seemed to be in slow motion. I thought that this kind of thing didn't happen in real life. But for those excruciating five seconds, I was certain that it does.

  One. Two. Three. Four. A lifetime. And then five.

  “She's not my girl and never been mine. But one thing's for sure. I loved her then and I still love her now. And from this day on, I will do what I can to make her stay by my side. I lost her twice and the pain was just the same. But this time around, it was not just I who was suffering. I believed that it was both of us. I'll do what I can to be worthy of her and I will never give her up for someone like you,” he asserted.

  And then the world stopped all together.

  Chapter 25

  There were so many ways to which love could come to us. For some, it was that one unexpected ride that you had never imagined taking. That one wrong turn, a wrong corner.... but turned out, it was all you needed.

  “Kayla!” I snapped as John's call penetrated my ears.

  “What happened?” I blurted out of nowhere, making it the most unintelligent statement of the century.

  But then it turned out that my uncanny reaction had done something good. For the first time since he arrived here, John finally laughed. However, the bad thing was, he was laughing about my senseless question.

  Regardless, I felt the hefty lines on my face slowly disappeared. The heaviness and bewilderment I felt a moment ago was swept away by the soft sound of his laughing voice. And the awkward mood eventually lightened up a bit.

  “I'm sorry for being so surprised,” I added, smiling a bit as I stared at his face.

  “It's okay. Sorry for suddenly saying all that,” he said, sitting again on the vacant swing.

  The streets of Creeksburg became normal once more as the once stopped cars and silenced place in my imagination came alive. As for the world, it came back and decided to start revolving again. Everything was back to normal as the unimaginable happening came to an end.

  Aaron had been gone millions of years ago, I mean, a moment ago. And as expected, he didn't leave without putting up a show and saying that he was certain that it was him who I really liked. But the moment he had said that I was still head over heels for him and that I would be utterly miserable without him in my life that was when I snapped and told him to get lost. For once, I had been that way. But there was no way it would happen again. My wishful hopes and dreams about him altogether disappeared to nowhere. Reality check, he was really a jerk from the start.

  After that awkward moment, Aaron finally left us. I had no clue where he would go or what he’d do with his life. But setting all that aside, I was certain that he could live on and still be happy. He once ran away with someone and had the time of his life while cheating on me. He can do anything with his life. All of which I had no care about anymore.

  And so that left me with John here, sitting beside me and staring at me in such a very endearing manner. The words were out, the verdict had been declared. So where exactly do I stand now?

  “Kayla,” Dorothy whispered in a weak voice.

  I held her hand and clasped it tight, letting her know that I was around. “I'm here.”

  She smiled faintly, lines tracing the fullness of her face. She asked Mr. Smith to pick me up and bring me here—all the way from Creeksburg—telling him that she had something to say to me. John was out and attending a meeting so I was the only one that was with her inside this empty room.

  A few days in the ICU, she had been transferred to a regular room. And she was getting spunkier, I heard. All in all, I was glad that she was well.

  “Kayla, sit down. I have something to tell you,” she told me.

  I walked closer to her and took a seat at the chair that was at her bedside. I stared blankly at Dorothy, unable to grasp why she called me here for
or how to react to that person whom I had caused a misfortune to happen. She softly smiled at me. I unintentionally flashed back a guilty smile in return, the one wherein you tell the whole world that you had done something wrong.

  Dorothy seemed to notice it and she shook her head. “Don't give me that look.”

  “But...”

  “It's okay. I'm old and quite fragile myself. I hate that word but that's how I am. My heart problem has been with me ever since I turned sixty. So really, don't blame it all on yourself,” she said, comforting me.

  “But if I did not...”

  “Kayla, if you say another word about that incident, I'll go ahead and drop your marriage license to the clerk's office,” she muttered in a weak voice, threatening me once more. It sounded like even in her sick bed, she would still threaten me if she had to.

  “You're here. How can you even do that?” I said back, quite disbelieving to the thought. And besides, if she actually did that, I would be wickedly happy. I mean, to be bluntly honest, I would love for that to happen.

  “I have people who work for me. Don't you think I won't be capable of doing that?” she said, throwing me a wink.

  “Okay, then go ahead,” I muttered.

  “Right,” she agreed. Then she called out, “Nate?”

  “I'm just kidding. I mean...” Lost for words, I paused. The clock ticked on and I still hadn't been able to say a thing.

  “You mean what?”

  Dorothy had no clue on what had really happened. I bet she hadn't heard a word about it. It was only me and John who really knew what had occurred. Since I hadn't said a word about it and I was certain that it was the same way for John, Dorothy still had no clue that she had already succeeded. I fell for his grandson. I fell so hard that I hadn't been able to pick myself up.

  “I mean... you know, there were things that had changed,” I tried saying, searching for the right words. I was torn if I should let the secret out or conceal it in a set of lies.