Love Me, Love Me Not (Incongruent Figures #1)

by S. M. Koz

  “Precisely.”

  I do what he suggests, but then stare at the problem again. His closeness is making it even harder than normal to concentrate.

  After a moment, he says, “Where’s your head at, Hailey? This is exactly like the other problem.”

  “Right,” I say, glancing down at his arm, which still hasn’t moved.

  The past month has been good for me. I never called Chase after that awful movie night and he never showed up again. I guess that means we broke up. I definitely don’t consider him my boyfriend anymore.

  Sherry wanted me to meet with my mom, but I told her I wasn’t ready. She said we could wait a few weeks. I haven’t heard anything else, so I’m hopeful my mom changed her mind.

  As far as me and the Campbells, it’s been better than I could have ever expected. Gigi did eventually talk to me about what happened with Chase in the basement. Against my better judgment I told her everything because I wanted her to know the real me and decide if I could stay here. Otherwise, I would always feel like I had to pretend to be someone else around them. Totally surprising me, although it shouldn’t have because of what Brad said, his parents brushed it off and encouraged me to stop all contact with Chase. She also made me go to the doctor and get checked out again, even though I was on birth control. Luckily, everything came back fine.

  Brad never once mentioned the incident again and has always acted exactly the same toward me. Every now and again, I’ll get a glance of him shirtless or his hand will accidentally brush against me, causing butterflies to momentarily rise up in my chest like they did by Tasha’s enclosure. I definitely don’t see him as a brother; most of the time, I see him as a friend. On those rare occasions when the fluttering appears, I’ll have a moment of weakness and dream about something more, but I know it’s not realistic. As nice as he is to me, we’re totally different people. Incongruent figures, really. The fact that I’m using geometry humor catches me by surprise and causes me to chuckle.

  “What’s so funny?” he asks.

  “All this talk about congruency in geometry and I was just thinking about how incongruent the two of us are.”

  He frowns. “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “You’re a straight A student, an athlete, have the best parents ever, will be invited to college with open arms and I’m … none of those.”

  “Okay, so maybe we’re incongruent, but I wouldn’t say we’re incompatible. Sometimes congruency is overrated. Congruency is boring. Incongruency makes things interesting.”

  “Like the whole opposites attract thing?” I say with a smile, then catch myself. Sure, I’m attracted to him, but I know there’s no way he would feel the same. “That’s not what I meant,” I continue, backpedaling quickly as my face heats up.

  I feel his arm twitch at my side and look down to see his hand still against my hip. Why is it still there? I take a deep breath and scoot sideways to put some space between us.

  “Actually—“

  “Brad! Hailey!” Adam yells, leaping into the room. “Put the books away. We’re all here for movie night.”

  Chapter 14

  BRAD

  Could Adam have any worse timing? It took me a week to build up the confidence to even attempt some sort of contact with Hailey and now it’s over before I determined whether she liked it or not.

  She didn’t jump when I touched her, so that has to be a good sign. She did scoot away, though. That can’t be good. She moved after she was embarrassed by saying opposites attract. Was she embarrassed because she likes me or embarrassed because of what she said and thought I’d get the wrong idea?

  I inwardly groan because I sound like a girl. This is ridiculous. I need to man up and tell her how I feel. It’s not like I haven’t put extensive thought into this.

  After Homecoming, I came to the conclusion that I needed to be absolutely positive before I decided to move things forward with her, if she’s even interested. Given her past, I don’t want to jump into something, only to change my mind a few days later.

  All my self-analysis led me to realize that, on the night she ran away, I first started seeing the potential and it grew stronger and stronger over the subsequent weeks, finally leading to my bout of jealousy at Homecoming.

  Like I recognized then, it’s no longer the primal need to protect her that’s driving me. Instead, I think it’s the great respect I have for her. Don’t get me wrong, I will step in whenever needed, but I feel like it’s not going to be needed as much anymore. She’s growing from the meek, helpless girl I first met to a strong, independent woman. Slowly. She’s still got a ways to go, but, I’m constantly blown away by how she’s handled this entire situation. I wouldn’t have had nearly as much grace if I’d been uprooted from my home, family, everyone I know, and thrown into a world that couldn’t be more different.

  She made a decision to change her life. Nothing is going to stop her now. That’s badass. And, apparently, I find badass girls extremely hot.

  “Hey, Adam, you’re early,” I say, standing and trying to push thoughts of Hailey out of my mind.

  “Yeah, my mom was pissing me off. I had to get out of there.”

  “Uh oh. What’s going on?”

  “College crap.”

  “Sorry, man,” I say, patting his shoulder. Adam is getting pressured by his mom to go to Virginia Tech, her alma mater, but he has his heart set on Carolina. He’s been a fan of the basketball team since their 2005 national championship win, something that has caused a lot of good-hearted ribbing from my parents. Carolina and Duke fans do not get along.

  “My dad’s coming around,” he says. “Maybe he can talk some sense into her.”

  “You know, if you go to Carolina and I go to Duke, we might be forced to end our friendship.”

  He grins and shakes his head. “Dude, not even a bitter rivalry could tear us apart.”

  I know he’s right. According to my parents, we’ve been friends since the day I was born. Both our moms were part of some working mom support group that had play dates, and Adam and I used to sit in those bouncy chairs next to each other while they drank wine and complained about stay-at-home moms who gave them the evil eye. Over the years, the group got smaller and smaller until it was just me, Adam, and our moms. And wine. There was always wine. Even now, our moms have Thursday night drinks.

  What I got out of it all was an awesome best friend. I can’t imagine not having him around the corner from me once I go to college. That makes Duke quite appealing. If he goes to Carolina and I go to Duke, we would be only eight miles away from each other. I’m positive our friendship isn’t the best reason to choose a college, but it is a highly contributing factor for me.

  “Are the girls downstairs?” Hailey asks.

  “Yeah, Abbie’s starting the popcorn,” Adam replies.

  “I’ll help her,” she says, skipping out of the room. My eyes follow her down the hallway, loving the look of her ass in her leggings. Since she’s been getting decent meals, she’s put on some weight and developed curves in all the right places. She looks healthy now, not malnourished like when we first met. With her allowance and the stipend from DSS, she was able to buy clothes that actually fit and accentuate those curves. It’s starting to drive me crazy seeing all those very feminine parts every single day, but not being able to touch them.

  “You hear from Stanford?” Adam asks.

  “Yeah, it looks good,” I reply, still watching Hailey.

  “Dude, you’ve got to be less obvious,” Adam says, smacking my arm.

  “What?”

  “You’re drooling.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Yeah, you are. I thought she was your sister.”

  “I definitely don’t have sister feelings for her.”

  “No kidding.”

  I grin and meet his eyes. “She’s cool, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’d be lucky to have her as a girlfriend, right?”

  Adam’s face lights up l
ike he just won some karate tournament. “You finally found a girl who’s deserving of that title?”

  “I think so.”

  He shakes his head, no doubt surprised this day has finally arrived. We’re both picky, although he did have a girlfriend last year. She dumped him over the summer, breaking his heart, and, I think, making him even less likely to jump into another relationship anytime soon.

  “Does she know how you feel?” he asks.

  “No. I was thinking about saying something earlier, but then you barged in here like the Kool-Aid Man, totally ruining the mood.”

  “You could have texted me or hung a tie from your doorknob or something. I assumed you were studying like usual.”

  “We were. Mostly.”

  “Studying the physics of making out, perhaps?”

  “No,” I reply, rolling my eyes. “Not yet. Soon.”

  “Good. I’m happy for you,” he says, resting his arm over my shoulders. “She’s great.”

  “You’re assuming she’ll be on board with this.”

  “She’s on board. Trust me. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Speaking of which, we shouldn’t keep the girls waiting any longer,” he says, steering me toward the door.

  We head to the basement and find the girls crowded around the kitchenette, talking. Hailey and Brittany have really bonded. In fact, I rarely see Hailey at school, since she tends to spend her time with Brittany and her friends, choosing to eat lunch with them rather than me and my friends. I’m sure Michelle factors into her decision. She continues to be cold to Hailey.

  Between Michelle’s attitude and all the attention she gives me, I think she has plans for us that I don’t share. I’ve told her before I’m not interested, but I worry she is and senses Hailey as competition. At some point soon, I’ll have to tell her there is no competition—it’s Hailey, not her.

  “Hey, Brad,” Michelle says, straightening up when she sees me.

  “Hey, Michelle. Abbie. Brittany.”

  The other girls wave hello while in a deep conversation with Hailey, something about Brittany’s band performing somewhere next week.

  “We got a romantic comedy today,” Michelle says, sidling up next to me. “We figured it was time for a girly movie since we always watch explosions and aliens and all that boy stuff.”

  “Fine by me,” I say, stepping around her to grab a Coke from the fridge. “Anyone want anything?”

  “Sprite,” Adam says from his place on the couch. I toss him one across the room and he catches it with no problem. “You should join the team,” I tease. He hates football. He keeps telling me I should quit because of all that information coming out on brain damage. Of course, it’s unlikely I’ll ever make it pro, so hopefully high school and college ball won’t kill too many brain cells.

  I hand out sodas to the girls and then wait for them to take their seats. Hailey sits on the end like usual with Brittany next to her. Then it’s Abbie. Adam is on the other end. For the past month, no matter where I sit, Michelle squeezes herself in next to me, but I don’t want her next to me today. Not that I ever wanted her attention, but especially not today. I want to be next to Hailey.

  I stand at the edge of the couch, hesitating. Michelle stands next to me, no doubt waiting for me to sit, so she can claim her spot.

  “What are you doing?” Adam asks, looking my way. I tilt my head toward Hailey and see the understanding in his eyes immediately. “Hey Brittany,” Adam says, “want to share some Junior Mints?” Adam hates Junior Mints, but they’re Brittany’s favorite.

  “I’ll get them for you,” I say, heading back to the kitchenette. I find a box in the cabinet and then grab some Snow Caps, Hailey’s favorite, as well.

  I toss the Junior Mints to Adam who invites Brittany to sit beside him.

  “Are you trying to get lucky tonight?” she asks, lowering herself next to him.

  “Do Junior Mints hold that much power over you?”

  “Maybe, if they’re paired with some romantic and gentlemanly gestures.”

  “I’m not romantic,” he says, starting up the movie.

  “So, I’ve been told.” I notice that she looks disappointed and glances in Abbie’s direction. Abbie shrugs, which makes me think they’ve talked about Adam at length. I guess I’ve been so caught up in my own drama that I hadn’t noticed Brittany may have a thing for him.

  This whole time, Michelle has been standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. I ignore her and plop myself into the now unoccupied seat next to Hailey, my leg touching hers and my arm nestled in between us. It’s the most contact we’ve had since that awkward hug the first day we met and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel awesome.

  I open the box of candy and hold it out to her, “Snow Cap?” I ask, watching Michelle out of the corner of my eye.

  She huffs and then lowers herself next to Abbie, who holds out the bowl of popcorn. Stuffing kernel after kernel into her mouth, Michelle glares at the television. Shit. This is a problem that shouldn’t be a problem because we agreed we were just friends.

  “Thanks,” Hailey murmurs, removing a piece of candy from the box.

  “Anytime,” I reply, focusing back on her. She’s staring straight ahead, but her cheeks are pink. She’s obviously feeling something—either embarrassment or excitement—with me next to her.

  “Is this a problem?” I whisper.

  She shakes her head and then bites her lip as the corner of her mouth curves upward. That’s my first clue she might be as into me as I am into her.

  Chapter 15

  HAILEY

  As soon as I shake my head no, Brad snuggles even closer, causing the butterflies to wake up. It’s crazy how such simple and innocent contact with him causes my body to turn to mush when I could have sex with Chase, supposedly the most intimate thing you can do, and feel virtually nothing.

  He swipes my hair behind my ear and whispers, “I have a confession. I kind of like you.”

  I turn to face him to see if he’s serious or if this is all some big practical joke. Surely he wouldn’t be that cruel, right? When our eyes meet, I know the answer. They’re still that vibrant blue, but something has changed. His usual confidence is lacking, replaced by what I can only describe as hope. Is he worried I don’t like him? Who wouldn’t like him? He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. He’s sincere, he’s supportive, he’s non-judgmental, he’s—I could go on and on, and that’s not even considering his looks. His drop-dead gorgeous looks. His killer body that makes me weak in the knees every time I get a glimpse of it.

  “Please say something,” he whispers.

  “I—I kind of like you, too.”

  He smiles and then wraps his fingers around mine, pulling our hands between our legs, so no one else can see. He squeezes my fingers twice and then faces the television with an ear to ear grin.

  I lean forward to look beyond him, but the only person paying attention to us is Adam. He gives me a thumbs up and then focuses back on the movie.

  Dropping back onto the sofa, I feel totally overwhelmed by what’s happened. Anxious but exciting energy courses through me and causes me to feel like it’s the first day of school or something. Bradley Nolan Campbell likes me. He’s seen the real me in all my horrible glory and actually likes me for some strange reason. I want to pinch myself to make sure it’s real, but there’s no way I’m letting go of his hand. Instead, I close my eyes and bite the inside of my lip until it hurts. When I open my eyes, he’s still glued to my side, but watching me warily.

  “What are you doing?” he asks.

  I smile, shake my head, and then grip his hand more firmly. I’m not letting go until the movie ends.

  At least that’s my plan, but it gets totally derailed by Michelle, who, halfway through, abruptly stands, slams her hands on her hips, and tells Brad she needs to talk to him. I was secretly hoping he’d tell her no, but he followed her into the guest bedroom and they’ve been in there for five minutes and twenty seconds already. Not that I
’m keeping track or anything.

  I start gnawing on a fingernail, wondering what they could be doing and fearing the worst. He would not say he likes me and then go in there and hook up with her, would he? He admitted he doesn’t have much experience with girls, so what could they possibly be doing in there?

  “You okay?” Abbie asks.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “You’re about to bite off your finger.”

  “What do you think they’re doing in there?” I ask, leaning my head toward the closed door.

  “Talking.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Yeah. Don’t worry. He’s never shown her a quarter of the interest he’s showing you.”

  “But she likes him?”

  She shrugs and says, “It’s complicated.”

  “Complicated how?”

  “You should ask him.”

  I nod but, as disappointed as I am that she won’t tell me anything, I can’t blame her. She and Michelle are best friends. I’m new to this group and wouldn’t expect her to spill her friend’s secrets.

  Just then, the door opens and Michelle, with red eyes, emerges and marches to the staircase. “I’m leaving,” she announces without turning around.

  “Do you want a ride?” Adam asks, jumping off the sofa.

  “I’ll walk,” she huffs and stomps up the stairs.

  “I should go with her,” Abbie says, racing after her. When she gets to the stairwell, she yells over her shoulder, “See y’all later!”

  I glance back to the guest room and find Brad standing in the doorway, his arms braced against the doorframe above his head. He looks … angry. No, beyond angry, something I’ve never seen from him before.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  He nods his head in silence, his jaw tight.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Adam says to Brittany, standing and pulling her by the hand. When they walk past Brad, he says, “Call me later.”

  Brittany waves to me and then, just like that, we’re alone. Ten minutes ago, I would have welcomed the alone time, so our hand holding and innocent touching could turn into more, but now it feels forced and awkward.