Anything But

by Megan Linski

  “Bethany. I’m not stealing them.”

  “You want to be the best? Be like everybody else. Take what you want.” She turns out her pockets to show me a handful of nail polish bottles. For good measure she takes a pair of glasses for herself. With her back to the storekeeper, she saws off the security band around the glasses with a nail file.

  “Let’s move,” she says. We walk out the front door. I start sweating, jumping at every corner. I’m waiting for a buzzer to go off, but it never does. Every time I see a security guard I start thinking that I’m going to get arrested, but we pass them easily. No one even notices.

  “See?” Bethany says on the ride home. “Nothing happened, just like usual. Take what you want, Raz. That’s what I was taught.”

  I nod. I feel pretty bad about taking the glasses, but it’s only one pair, right? The store will notice they’re gone and put some more on the shelf the next day. I’m not hurting anybody. It’s a big corporation, not a local store.

  I smile, a little thrill in my chest. I can’t believe I actually got away with it.

  Over the next several days me and Bethany go back to the mall and take more things. Shoes, clothes… nothing’s off limits for us. My guilt becomes less and less each time. Eventually, it becomes a game for us, trying to see who can steal the best stuff without getting caught.

  I figure that the security guards are going to catch on, but they never do. By our fifth trip to the mall, we’ve stolen over a thousand dollars worth of stuff.

  One day Bethany walks out with her biggest prize, a large bottle of vodka she snagged off a cooking store shelf. The stuff burns down my throat and I kind of hate it, but we pass it back and forth anyway. I drink nearly half the bottle by myself, but Bethany can match me. I wonder how long she’s been doing this. It’s like she’s a pro.

  By the time we get back to Tinyork I’m so roaring drunk that I can’t even see straight. Bethany’s drunker than I am, but she doesn’t stop. She keeps drinking until she’s laughing and throwing up at the same time on the sidewalk.

  “Well look who it is,” a voice says nearby. I drunkenly look up to see Cayman standing there. “The nerd and his little girlfriend. I never got back at you two for humiliating me in front of everyone.” He cracks his knuckles.

  I grab the empty bottle that Bethany has and chuck it at his head. The thing shatters against the side of his skull and cuts his face open.

  “Agh!” he screams. “My eye! You got my fucking eye!”

  “Piss off,” I slur. I grab Bethany by the arm and drag her away.

  Everything blacks out after that.

  I wake up the next day with a terrible hangover. Somehow, I ended up in my room. I stumble out of bed, throw my sunglasses on and go out to find Bethany.

  It turns out I left her under a bench in the middle of the park. I feel kind of bad about it, but she doesn’t mind. She’s too excited that I’d taught Cayman a lesson.

  Despite my hangover, I can’t deny how good I feel. I’m not invisible anymore. Not even Cayman has the balls to mess with me.

  Being a thief is sure better than being a nobody.

  * * *

  I close my eyes for a minute. Maymee is silent when I finish my story. I think she’s in shock.

  I know she wants to ask more questions, but Goose is back and we’re out of time. We grab our things silently. Maymee doesn’t speak as we walk out the door, cautious under Goose’s gaze.

  When we’re out of Goose’s hearing, I turn to Maymee nervously and ask, “You don’t think any less of me for it, do you?”

  Maymee shakes her head and says, “No Raz. I don’t think any less of you for it.”

  Chapter 5 - I Can’t Forget Everything. I Wish I Could

  That Friday is the night of the homecoming dance, and I procrastinated enough that I don’t have anything to wear. After a bit of digging, I find a neon green dress shirt with a vibrant purple tie and orange pants.

  Nausea inducing— just what I wanted. I make sure to try and dress more and more outlandish everyday, to fit my Razberry Sweet image, but this is really pushing it. I throw my glasses over my eyes and run my hands through my uncombed hair, ready.

  A car horn is honking outside. I wince as I think of Bethany, but I shake those thoughts out of my head. This is supposed to be a happy night. No bad flashbacks.

  Aunt Sara pokes her head through the door and says, “Raz, your ride’s here.”

  I turn and smile at her. She gets all teary eyed. I suppress a groan as she walks over, hands extended with a goofy look on her face. “You look so handsome… even in those ridiculous colors!”

  “Aunt Sara…” I sigh.

  She sniffs. “I remember helping to potty train you and now look at you… a grown man.”

  “Raz, your girlfriend is here to pick you up!” Mitzy bursts into my room and ruins my aunt’s tender moment.

  I roll my eyes. “Mitz, for the last time, she is not my girlfriend.”

  Not yet, anyway.

  The thought shocks me. What the heck was that about?

  “I don’t see why you won’t ask her out, she’s a very pretty girl,” Aunt Sara says. I grab my wallet, tramp down the stairs and head out the door.

  “Yeah, okay, I hear you, don’t stay out too late!” I add, ignoring the burning in my cheeks.

  “Took you long enough,” Puppy mumbles as I hop in the car. She doesn’t take a second glance at my clothes— she’s used to my crazy outfits by now. “What’s wrong with you? You’re really red.”

  “Hey, you should’ve been in there just then. Real tearjerker,” I say.

  I can’t help but admit Puppy cleans up good. Her hair is up in a fancy bun and the brown dress she bought fits her perfectly. For once, she’s actually wearing makeup. She looks even more adorable than usual.

  “Let’s blow this Popsicle stand,” I say, and point onward. She drives away and I’m free to run away from my awkward house, my annoying cousin, and Bethany.

  I’ve never been to a high school dance. No one ever invited me, so there was no point in going.

  But I have friends now. People who actually care if I’m living or dead.

  Once we get there, though, I’m confused. Half of the lights in the school gym are still on, and there’s no music playing. Everybody is standing around stupidly, including the DJ.

  I see Pepper in a slim black gown next to Soldier, who doesn’t look anything like himself in a dress shirt and tie.

  “Hey, where’s Zoar?” I ask.

  “Couldn’t come.” Soldier shakes his head. “Glad you guys could make it, though.”

  “What’s wrong with the lights?” I ask, looking upward.

  “Goose won’t turn them off,” Pepper replies bitterly. “And the music isn’t working. We’re trying to find somebody’s iPod to play.”

  “Are you serious?” I ask. She nods, and I say, “Well, we’re still gonna to have fun. It’s better than no dance at all. Come on people, let’s party!”

  When they finally get the music going I manage to get my friends somewhat having a good time. I don’t dance very well, but I damn well dance, so I force everyone to bob to the music with me while I practice my awkward white-boy moves.

  “Trouble.” Puppy grabs my arm and points. We see Don and his girlfriend Madison arguing up a storm in the center of the dance floor.

  Soldier says, “I had better step in, so Don doesn’t kill anyone,” and walks over to couple. I head over to the food table, but all the stuff is eaten. Puppy got one of the last sodas.

  A slow song comes on, the first in about a half an hour of nothing but high speed dubstep. My group moves to the side of the room and sits at a table, except for Puppy, who’s dancing with some dude I don’t know.

  As I watch her, I feel kind of jealous. I don’t know how to hold hands or do any of that couple stuff. Looking at all these couples out on the dance floor is really sort of depressing. I glance at the guy holding Puppy.

  Lucky bastard, I thi
nk. I wish I was the one who got to hold her, but I don’t have the guts to ask her to dance.

  While Puppy dances with the random guy, me and the rest of my friends are stuck in the corner of the room. Don and Madison are still fighting about ten feet away from us. Soldier has given up trying to stop them.

  Halfway through the song, Puppy breaks away from the guy, and comes back to us with a surly expression on her face. He’s with another girl about five seconds later.

  I get up from my seat to comfort her, but end up tripping over a chair on the way. I fall flat on my face and everyone nearby ends up laughing.

  Usually, I’d be happy that people think I’m funny, but the laughter I hear isn’t friendly… it’s a cruel one, one that said that they’re amused by my clumsiness. They’re laughing at me, not with me.

  I sprint for the bathroom and try to think of a way to save myself. I hope nobody saw me run in here.

  “Hey man, are you okay?” Soldier asks as he comes in after me.

  I shake my head. “I’m fine, all right? Just feeling stupid right now.”

  “What are you talking about? You love showing off to an audience.” He chuckles.

  I shake my head. “For once, I don’t want the attention on me.”

  “Since when?” Soldier asks. “Come on, Raz, the girls are waiting.”

  We go back to our table to find both Pepper and Puppy pouting. It looks like my clumsiness with the chair has been forgotten. I force a smile on my face. I’m supposed to be the optimistic one of the group, after all. I have to try and keep the spirit going.

  “This dance sucks.” Puppy crushes her empty can of pop against the table with her fist. “You guys want to hike across town to see Zoar?”

  “But we’re all dressed up,” Pepper says.

  “So?” she shrugs. “It’ll be fun. Let’s go.”

  I’m all in. This dance sucks.

  We leave the dance and start walk down the sidewalk in a group, Pepper, Soldier, Puppy and I. Cars pass us by on the streets and honk. Even though the curfew for minors is 10 and it’s well past midnight, the cop car that passes us by doesn’t even take a second glance.

  I’m glad. I don’t want any more memorable experiences with the police.

  The shops are closed up for the night. It’s very peaceful out here. You couldn’t do this in the middle of a big city or even a medium sized town. But little Limesville, for the most part, is different.

  I feel safe out here, with my friends.

  We cross a small bridge over the river and are almost there. We’re trying not to be loud, but we’re failing epically. Once we’re at Zoar’s house, we creep under his window.

  We all scrunch under it, laughing. Puppy knocks on the window and crouches down again. Zoar comes up. Thinking it was his imagination, he goes away.

  We all take turns knocking on the glass. He goes back and forth between the window and his desk, peering between the shades but never seeing us. When it’s my turn to knock, I can tell he’s really freaked out.

  “If it was me I would’ve gotten my gun already,” Soldier whispers. We finally go to the front door. He opens it up immediately when we ring the bell. I nearly explode.

  Zoar’s face is going to make me bust a gut. If I wasn’t so sure he was completely healthy, I would think he was about ready to have a heart attack. His face is all pale, his muscles tight. He’s breathing really, really hard and his eyes are just about popping out of his head. He can’t believe we all showed up on his front door.

  “Hey Zoar,” Pepper says in a dream like voice. It makes me laugh harder.

  I can’t take it anymore, and I scream, “Bye guys!” On the way out I grab Puppy’s hand and make her come with me.

  She doesn’t mind. She can barely see straight, she’s laughing so hard. Lights turn on in houses as we run by. Our loud voices wake up the whole neighborhood. By this time we’re at the bridge again, and we finally stop to catch our breath.

  In the moonlight, Puppy looks radiant. I lean over the bridge and gasp for air, my middle aching.

  “So much better than a dance?” Puppy says, catching my eye.

  I laugh and shake my head. “So much better than a dance.”

  We hook arms and smile at each other. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I love hanging out with you, Razberry Sweet,” she says. “You make everything ten times better.”

  “Oh, really?” I say, casting a wayward smile at her. “I didn’t know I had that effect on you.”

  She looks down shyly, and I say, “Uh... should we go back and get the others then?”

  “No.” She takes my hand, walking close. “Right now, I just wanna be with you.”

  I swear to God, right then, I’m glowing inside.

  * * *

  A few days after homecoming, it’s finally here. The entire Study Hall period has been waiting for this day. Pepper said we should start filming the fight scene, the giant battle between the zombies and humans. Everybody can take part in this, even Wizard, who is insisting on having a part of the action.

  “I’ll be a human who tries to take down the Lord Zombie,” Wizard says, waving his samurai sword at Soldier. “It’s the only part I want, that’s it.”

  “Make me catch on fire!” Ola shouts.

  “I bought a fake arm! If you hit it just right with this baseball bat, it’ll come flying off!” Don proclaims.

  Myself, I’ll be helping Puppy fend off multiple zombies. I open the door for her as we go out into the school courtyard. Everyone else is preparing for the fight scene.

  “Okay people,” Pepper shouts. “This is one of the most intense scenes of the movie. Zoar has already put together music for this part, and we won’t do it justice if we don’t make it look real. Make sure you’re fighting all the time, even if you don’t think the camera’s on you. Andy, you’re in the wrong place, move over here. Ella, fix your face paint! It’s smudged all across your lips!”

  I turn to Puppy. You ready to kick some zombie ass?”

  She’s pretty still, unlike me, who is bouncing back and forth. “As ready as you are,” she whispers.

  I beam at her, but she doesn’t smile back. She seems hesitant, as if she wants to ask a question and is unsure if it’ll upset me or not.

  Did I do something wrong at homecoming? Did we get too close? Or have I done something else to make her mad, somehow?

  “Puppy, what’s wrong? You seem quiet,” I say.

  She turns to me with a sigh and says, “I never did find out the truth about Bethany, you know.”

  Of course. I knew this was coming. “Not now, Puppy,” I say, keeping my voice low.

  “Why not now?” she asks harshly. “You’re telling Makeout Maymee in detention, so why not me? I thought we were friends!”

  I open my mouth to ask how she knows that, but before I can, Pepper yells, “Action!” and the fight scene begins.

  Puppy is supposed to be grabbing zombies and taking them down. I wonder if Puppy will actually start attacking me instead, but she seizes the only poor freshman in our class and “pretends” to slam him into the dirt. I kick down the jock named Bobby and turn around to look for Puppy, but she’s already gone.

  It’s a good thing we have several camera angles with a lot of different people this time, because if we didn’t, everything would look really, really fake. Most people aren’t even touching each other and there isn’t anybody in our class who can really act, besides Puppy and I. I hope it comes together well once Wizard edits it, because it’s absolute craziness. Some scenes have been set up, but overall, it’s improvisation. People are doing the wildest things… I’m not sure if Frank and Katie are pretending to wrestle or doing a dance.

  Though one move looks pretty real. Wizard runs forward, the samurai sword in his hands, and prepares to strike down Soldier. Soldier simply raises his fist and punches Wizard right in the jaw. The dude hits the ground flat.

  It looks so real that everybody else stops fighting to look at Wizar
d. Pepper turns in her chair and yells, “Cut! Did you get that?”

  “I’ve got it!” Brody says, and he races forward with the camera. He comes to a stop by Soldier’s side and says, “That was a great shot! How’d you fake it?”

  “I didn’t,” Soldier says, and he looks down at Wizard. “I really hit him.”

  All becomes silent. Pepper’s mouth drops open and she says, “Soldier, you didn’t.”

  He nudges him. “I think I may have knocked him out.”

  Everybody starts mumbling lowly. “Will somebody please take the man to the nurse?” Pepper asks. She rubs her forehead, irritated.

  Don and Bobby look at each other before carrying Wizard away. The kid really is out of it. Soldier rubs the back of his head and says, “It was an accident. I had better go with him, be there when he wakes.”

  Pepper shakes her head and says, “Okay people, from the top. And this time, can we please try not to cause unconsciousness?”

  There are mumbles of agreement. Pepper yells, “Action!” and the chaos starts up again.

  Throughout the fake fight I’m still looking for Puppy. One kid nearly bloodies this other kid’s nose and they get into a shoving match. It looks pretty good, until it starts to get serious and a couple of zombie kids have to pretend to be attacking them in order to pull the two away from each other.

  So much for trying not to be violent, I think.

  Finally I find her, struggling with some guy who is pretending to bite her arm. I grab him and fake punch him, and he crawls away. I go to speak to her but she runs away from me again.

  She’s using the fight take to avoid me. Not cool.

  Perry is doing something really odd. His face is scrunched up and he’s wriggling up and down like some sort of caterpillar on the grass.

  “Stop, stop, stop!” Pepper jumps off her chair and waves her arms around. “Perry, what is that?”

  Perry stops shaking on the ground. “It’s a seizure. My character is having traumatic stress from the incident around him and is reacting to his environment.”

  “Perry, we’re trying to do a movie, not creating an arc for a character that nobody knows anything about,” Pepper says with a tired voice.