She zoned out again, drifting back to the day Vance had dropped her off at the obstetrician’s to talk about tubal ligation surgery. She supposed that, in an odd way, she should thank Vance for having taken such a controlling, manipulative step. By forcing her to face sterilization, he’d finally crossed a line she hadn’t realized even existed.
Lia had finally confessed to the ongoing abuse to Dr. Humphries that day. She’d begged the doctor not to schedule the operation. Dr. Humphries had told her the choice was hers—Lia had every right to determine what happened to her body and that for her husband to control her in this way was spousal abuse. Dr. Humphries wouldn’t schedule the operation unless Lia wanted it—it had to be her decision.
She had walked out of the office with her head held high and her fertility still intact. She wasn’t going to take Vance’s abuse any longer. She’d find a way to leave him. She’d ask her friends for help or go live with her brother—she’d do anything but stay with a man who thought he could own her.
Then, two days later, Vance had had been killed in that car accident. She hadn’t yet taken the steps to leave, but at least she’d finally believed she could.
During her next appointment, Dr. Humphries had explained that many other women were in Lia’s shoes. What she had thought she suffered alone, the doctor had explained, was something other women experienced, as well. Many of the women were like Lia: too scared to leave their abusive spouses or without the resources to do so, but living untenable lives.
Dr. Humphries estimated that, even in the tiny dot on the map that was Meadowview, there were probably ten women and their children who needed help transitioning from a violent environment to a life lived in safety. The idea of Meadowview Sanctuary started that day, and as soon as the idea took shape in Lia’s mind, she flew into action. Within two years, she’d secured funding, renovated the building she’d bought, and best of all, had earned the community’s support. The idea of the Sanctuary had been the beginning of her healing, and asking Jack to help her eradicate her fear of men and being touched by them was, to her, the culmination of the healing process that had started that day in Dr. Humphries’s office. That day she’d stood up for herself and for her future children.
Perhaps someday she’d be able to get pregnant like Sadie. Perhaps someday a man would love her as much as her brother loved her best friend. But for now, she didn’t need the babies and wedding rings and declarations of undying love—right now she simply needed a man.
And apparently, the fire station was filled with them.
* * *
Lia scanned the crowded brick-lined room, looking for Jack. She figured she’d find Peter in a moment, but first she needed to get grounded, and for that, she needed her friend, if only to give her a reassuring smile. Because really, what the heck did she know about flirtation? Flirting came so naturally to Sadie—even to earth-girl Chessie. But not to her. She was clueless when it came to seduction.
“Hey boys, I got pie.” Chessie’s cheerful voice cut through the quiet chatter that filled the fire station. Within seconds, several men and women in firefighting gear swarmed the table where Chessie and Lia had placed the pies, all eagerly clamoring for a slice, Peter included.
The sight of Peter leaning across the table to grab a piece of pie—his legs spread wide to showcase his tight butt and his shoulders rippling with muscles—caught Lia’s eye. Then she flicked her gaze around the room, looking for Jack.
“Get a grip,” she muttered to herself. She wasn’t here to take another step in her lessons with Jack. She was here to flirt with Peter. See if he’d flirt back. Maybe he’d even ask her to the Fireman’s Ball the way he’d mentioned that day in the Goldpan, when she’d overheard the firefighter’s conversation.
Peter looked up and caught her staring at him. He smiled at her, bringing a smile to her face in response. Insecurity flooded her. How the heck did one initiate a flirtation? Nervously, she licked her lips and bit down on the lower one, holding it in place with her teeth. Peter’s eyes widened slightly and his smile broadened.
Hmm… She must be doing something right.
Still holding a plate filled to the brim with pie, Peter walked over to where she was standing. He leaned against the countertop, so close their shoulders touched. The familiar twinge of fear built inside her, then lessened and drifted away. Good. She wasn’t going to shake and shiver at his touch. Amazingly, her time with Jack had helped heal her of that instantaneous reaction.
“Nice to see you again, Lia.” Peter shoved a bite of pie in his mouth and chewed. He rolled his eyes upward. “Oh wow, this pie is a slice of heaven. Did you bake it?” he asked between a mouthful of warm apples and crust.
“All I did was slice apples. Chessie’s the baker.” She nodded in her friend’s direction.
Peter scooped a bite on the fork and held it in front of her. She reached out her hand, but he shook his head and instead kept the small bit of pie in front of her mouth, an indication he wanted to feed her.
A momentary wave of confusion flashed over Lia. Was Peter flirting? He had to be. Grown men didn’t feed grown women unless they were flirting. She fought back a smile and opened her mouth. Allowed Peter to slide the fork inside. The metal tines pressed against her lower lip and her mouth closed. With a brief flutter, her eyes drifted shut as the warm juices of the pie hit her tongue. Chessie’s pies did taste heavenly.
Lia wasn’t aware how she must have looked until she opened her eyes to see Peter staring at her, his eyes wide and his mouth open, a half-smile playing around his lips.
“You make eating pie seem almost erotic,” he breathed, bending close to her.
Heck yeah, Peter was flirting with her. She scrambled through her mind, on the hunt for ways to flirt back. If she were Sadie, she’d have an arsenal of sexy comebacks available. If she were Chessie, she’d roll a hip or draw attention to her lush breasts. But she wasn’t Sadie or Chessie. She was sheltered Lia Sawyer. She’d simply have to give it her best shot.
She chewed, swallowed, and gave Peter her best come-hither sideways glance. “I didn’t remember how good Chessie’s pies can taste. I knew they were organic, I just didn’t realize they were orgasmic.” Oh, God, how lame could she be? She glanced around for Jack. She needed help. Or an excuse to stop this farce. No way would Peter be attracted to someone who couldn’t even flirt.
Peter laughed.
At her? She couldn’t tell.
He shifted, moving closer, his hip now grazing hers. Instinctively she stepped back, before realizing the sensation traveling through her wasn’t a bad feeling. But not a tingly feeling like what Jack’s touch elicited.
“Of course,” she continued, scrambling for something else to say, “a hot guy feeding me pie has a lot to do with its ‘special’ qualities. Perhaps sometime I could get you to feed me one of Chessie’s cherry pies—” Tension closed up her throat and nerves churned in her stomach. Oh, God, what was she doing?
Peter put his plate on the countertop and tilted his head down to grin at her. “Lia, I gotta say, you are all full of surprises today. You know, I always thought of you as being a little—”
“Frigid?” Lia finished his sentence for him. At least her voice was working once again. She glanced away from Peter, sweeping her gaze around the room and noticing Jack had reentered the firehouse. And was frowning at her. Her stomach twisted again. Was she flirting so terribly wrong? She returned her attention back to Peter, wondering if she should make her escape now.
Peter’s forehead wrinkled and he looked at her quizzically, as if trying to piece something together. She kept her face neutral. Was he recalling what Gary had said about her at the Goldpan? And if he remembered, would that put him off her? Make him walk away?
“Uh…well, maybe ‘reserved’ would be a better word.” He flashed his cute-boy grin at her again.
“It’s all right,” she said quickly. “I can appear standoffish, I guess. It takes me a little while to warm up to people.”
“Sweetheart,” Peter leaned in closer, his handsome grin turning almost into a leer. “You’re more than warmed up now. You’re totally hot. On fire.”
Ew, gross. Yes, she was doing what a week ago would have been impossible—flirting with Peter, and he was apparently flirting back, too, but this wasn’t what she thought she’d feel like.
He dropped his gaze to her chest and smiled. “What do you say the two of us get together one of these nights when I’m not on call and have our own little private pie tasting?”
Okay, so that wasn’t exactly what she’d expected to hear. In fact, his flirtation had gone from flattering to…well…slightly idiotic. She must have overdone it.
She backed up a step, pausing when she realized she wasn’t afraid, only slightly disgusted. She smiled. She’d far rather be grossed out than afraid. The Grand Plan she’d embarked on with Jack was working. Pleasure filled her, replacing the tension from earlier.
“Back off, Peter.” A strong voice sounded behind her.
Jack.
“Dude, I’m in the middle of something here.” Peter’s tone was light, but held an edge.
“And I think you’re done.”
“Lia?” Peter stared at her.
As much as she wanted to move on with her life and had thought Peter could be the first man she could really enjoy going out with, the fact he’d been so overtly sexual in his flirtation had left a nasty taste in her mouth. Sure, she didn’t want him to think she was frigid, but maybe he was more of a player than she really wanted.
“Back off.” This time, Jack’s tone held a threat.
She flashed a glance at him, taking in his crossed arms, his wide-legged stance, and the narrowed gaze he had fixed on Peter. Somebody wasn’t happy. She looked back at Peter and said, “I have to go. Apparently Jack wants me for something.”
Peter leaned forward and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll text you.”
Yick. As he walked away, she wiped the wetness off her cheek, keenly aware of Jack’s presence next to her.
For a second Jack didn’t say a word, didn’t move. Then he grabbed her hand and ground out, “We need to talk.”
Lia didn’t tug her hand back from Jack’s strong grip, but instead matched him stride for stride as they exited the firehouse. He certainly didn’t look happy. But then again, she hadn’t felt all that happy, either, what with all the awkward flirtation between her and Peter. Once outside, Jack stopped suddenly, and she bumped up against his hard form.
The cold outdoor air hit her hard. With a snowstorm forecast to hit overnight, the temperature had dropped significantly. The street, normally crowded with tourists, seemed eerily empty of its usual bustle and chatter. She blew out a breath, not surprised as a cloud of white appeared. When Jack let go of her hand, the chill hit it and she suddenly felt alone, disconnected.
“What was that all about?” Jack’s voice sounded gritty, as if he were clenching his jaw, barely letting the words out.
“He was asking me out.”
“He told you he wanted to eat your pie. For chrissake, Lia, he wasn’t asking you on a date, he was offering up oral sex.”
She frowned. “Yes, it was a bit of a sexual innuendo, but I highly doubt you’re right. He was just leading up to asking me on a date.”
“Yeah right, a date.” Jack kicked the brick wall. “That man sleeps with anything that’ll move, Lia. That’s all he’s after with you.”
Lia resisted the urge to ball her hands into fists. How dare Jack interfere with her life? “Maybe I don’t care if Peter just wants me for sex. Why should it matter? Why should I be the only person in this town not having a relationship, huh?”
“He’s going to fuck you and leave you, don’t you realize that? Fuck!” Jack shoved his hands into his front pockets. “He won’t ever beat the crap out of you like Vance did, but he won’t give you two seconds of thought after he becomes bored with you and dumps you like yesterday’s garbage.”
“You don’t know that!” Lia shouted, and then realized she was standing on a public sidewalk. Fortunately the streets were clear, no tourists around to hear them. Although she wouldn’t have cared if a thousand people surrounded her right now. The anger was boiling inside and nothing would stop her from venting before she exploded.
“Yes, I do know—”
She shot her hand out, palm out, effectively shutting up Jack. Then she sucked in air, and continued. “You have no idea if he’s going to sleep with me and then dump me. Maybe he’ll decide I’m the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him. Just because no one else has ever wanted me before doesn’t mean Peter won’t, either.”
“Lia—” Jack blew out a breath and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “This isn’t about you. Only an idiot would ever walk away from you. And that’s what I’m trying to say—Peter’s an idiot. Harmless, but a man who’s a worse player than Theo. That’s why he’ll leave. Because of him, not you.”
“Just stop,” she said, shakily. Whatever Jack was trying to sell, she wasn’t buying.
“Lia,” he continued, his voice low and haunted, “you’re wrong about no one ever wanting you. Dead wrong.”
Her chest ached. “Yeah, right. Because all those dates all those boys asked me out on in high school is such a clear indication of my popularity. You know how many times I’ve been asked out, Jack? Zero. Big, fat, zero. Vance never even asked me out. He grabbed me at a football game one night and hauled me behind the bleachers and kissed me, and then it was like our relationship was a done deal. No flowers, no prom, no notes passed in class. One kiss and that was it.”
“And you think Peter Leary will give you flowers and a prom.”
She shot her chin upward, worked hard to keep her lip from trembling. “Yes. Only instead of prom, it’s going to be the Fireman’s Ball.”
“Fine,” he snapped. “You want him, go get him. But leave me out of your sex life. I’m not here to teach you sexual positions so you can go use them on someone like Peter Leary. I was willing to help you move on with your life so you could have a real relationship.”
“I thought that’s exactly what we were doing, though. You were teaching me how to be touched so I could go out with someone like Peter. Going out with someone means the possibility that I’d eventually sleep with him. So what’s changed?”
For a moment, time hung suspended, with Jack staring deep into her eyes, his snapping with a dark fire, deep lines marring his forehead. “Me, Lia,” he finally said. “I’m what’s changed. I can’t do this anymore.”
Her heart twisted, then stopped beating. “What are you saying?”
“No more sex lessons. No more ‘gentling.’ You’re on your own.”
When he shook her hand off his arm and stalked away, her heart felt as if it had just been sucked dry.
* * *
Jack stormed off, his mood as black as the dark clouds lining the sky. Watching Peter come on to Lia had filled his throat with bile. But when he’d heard Lia defend the man, the disgust he’d felt had quickly been replaced by rage. Or maybe it was pain.
When he rounded corner of the hundred-year-old brick building, an unexpected gust of bitterly cold wind hit him hard. A chill seeped through his plaid flannel shirt and he shivered, realizing at the same time that he’d forgotten his fleece jacket at the fire station. With the mercury projected to drop below freezing, he couldn’t afford to leave it there. But he couldn’t bear to face Lia again, either. Not now. Not after what they’d said to one another.
Not after the words he’d shot at her like arrows.
“Shit.” His expletive caught the eye of a passing tourist, an elderly woman who glared at him with beady eyes. “Sorry ma’am,” he said. Damn. He’d been an ass to Lia. More than an ass, he lectured himself. He’d been a prick, plain and simple. Lia’s request had been borne of true need and was based on trust, not selfishness. She’d needed his help and he’d as good as called her a whore.
He had to go back and apologize. She
deserved that at least. He reversed directions and walked back around the corner.
There, Lia stood huddled against the outer brick wall, her head in her hands.
Guilt washed over him. Fuck. There was no way an apology would be enough. He strode back up the wooden sidewalk, his boot heels thudding heavily, matching the heavy rhythm of his heart. He knew she had to be aware that he was standing in front of her, but still she wouldn’t look up. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, not knowing what to do and feeling helpless as he watched her shoulders shake as she soundlessly cried. Finally, with soft hands, he gripped her biceps, gently tugging to get her to pull her hands off her face.
“Lia—”
“What is it?” she choked out. “You had to come back to gloat?”
“No. I had to come back to apologize. I was a shit. I don’t know why I said those things. You needed help getting over something horrific—I know you didn’t ask me to sleep with you so you could learn all the best sexual positions and be a terrific lay. I shouldn’t have ever said what I did. I’m ashamed.”
She kept her hands covering her face but the shaking in her shoulders slowed. “I’m the one who should be ashamed, not you.”
“Why?”
“Oh, God, Jack,” she cried out. She dropped her hands to reveal a tear-streaked face. “That was part of it, part of my plan. I did want to learn how to be a terrific lay. I don’t know what on earth to do in bed. Vance made me hold absolutely still, not letting me move at all. He said it threw him off his rhythm. Missionary was the only position. All others were dirty, disgusting. So yes, I needed someone safe to get me over this horrible fear of men, that part’s true, but I also wanted to learn how to actually go to bed with a man. How to satisfy someone.” Her voice choked on her last sentence.
“Lia.” He took her arms and wrapped them around his waist. When her body softened, he pulled her close, tucking her head underneath his chin.
Trusting The One (Meadowview Heat 2; The Meadowview Series 2) Page 11