Trusting The One (Meadowview Heat 2; The Meadowview Series 2)

by Rochelle French

  “I don’t know what I’m doing, Jack,” she continued shakily. “I so desperately want to be normal, to have a regular love life—the kind you and all my friends have. You all get to feel sexy, aroused, connected. None of you are afraid of doing it. None of you panic, wondering if you’ll start shaking like a leaf on a tree and pass out after you get naked with someone for the first time.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” he murmured.

  Lia hiccupped as she sucked in a breath. “You don’t know how relieved I was when my body started responding to attractive men. That day in the Goldpan, when all you firefighters walked in, suddenly, after years of experiencing pain, disgust, and fear, I was instead feeling lust, desire, and longing—I was ready for a man to kiss me, to go out with me, possibly even to sleep with me.”

  “Lia…”

  She pulled her head away from his chest, but didn’t look at up. “For the first time since I married Vance, my body craved a man’s touch. Something inside me has woken up—something I thought had died. I started to think it was possible I wasn’t frigid after all. That maybe I could be normal.”

  Using his fingers, Jack traced the path of tears down her cheek. He cupped her chin to tilt her head upward. Her dark eyes shone bright, remnants of tears gleaming in the diffused light. A mix of emotions grabbed at him—anger at Vance, disgust with Peter, contempt for himself, and admiration for Lia.

  “Lia, with the way your body responds to sensual touch, there’s no way you could call yourself ‘frigid.’ The word shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary. You are normal.” He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, smiled down at her. “You may be inexperienced, but you’re definitely normal.”

  She returned his smile with a wan grin. “But when you get right down to it,” she said, dropping her gaze downward, “I still don’t know if I’ll be able to let a man…um…enter me. I’m still panicked that I won’t move right, that I won’t be sexy enough or do the right thing to make a man…you know, come. I thought I was ready but I’m not—I’m so scared I’ll do it all wrong that I can’t even think. I need to know I can be successful. I need you. I still need you.”

  Lia stopped speaking and dipped her head to his chest. The silence hung in the frosty air between them. It took him a second to realize what she’d said, and when he did, his heart leaped.

  “Are you asking to continue the lessons?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she answered, her head buried in his chest. “We started this, now I want us to finish it. I want to be intimate with you. I want to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’ve moved on from Vance’s abuse. I want to be certain. And I want you to help me prove it to myself. Forget doing this so I can sleep with someone else. Let’s do this for me. So I can prove to myself I’m a complete woman.”

  The cold wind picked up again, brushing a few feathery strands of Lia’s hair across his lips. He dipped his head down and dropped a light kiss on the crown of her head. She smelled warm and sweet, like apple pie, the warmth of her scent a sharp contrast to the metallic hint of oncoming snow. The scent of her melted his anger, rekindled the flame of hope he thought had died when he saw Peter Leary all over her.

  She still wanted lessons. She still wanted him.

  The door to the firehouse swung open. Chessie exited in a billow of warm air and laughter. “Oh good, you’re both still here. I wanted to ask…” Her voice trailed off.

  Lia pulled out of his arms, obviously startled by his sister. She kept her head low, but there was no mistaking the trail of tears covering both cheeks.

  “Lia, you’re crying. Did Peter say something rude?” Chessie took a step closer.

  Lia let out a shaky laugh. “I’m fine, Chessie, really. Peter was a little crude back there, but not cruel.”

  “I swear to God, Jack, I don’t care that you’re my brother,” Chessie added, her voice solid and full of protection. “ If you just made our Lia cry…”

  So much for sisterly love.

  Lia reached for Chessie’s arm, pulled his sister close to her side. “I’m okay, really. Jack’s helping me through something.”

  “You sure?”

  When Lia nodded, he breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Fine. I’ll leave you two alone.” Chessie grabbed him and pulled him in close, enveloping both in a warm hug. Jack wrapped his arms around both Lia and his sister’s shoulders. When Chessie let them go, Lia remained at his side, his arm around her shoulder.

  Chessie tugged on a pair of gloves and began walking away, but turned back and said, “Jack, be sweet to her. Make her feel good.”

  “Don’t worry,” he answered, tugging Lia in closer. “I’ll make her feel real good.”

  He felt Lia silently laughing against his chest as they watched his sister walk away.

  He wouldn’t hurt Lia. But he sure was in for one hell of a heartbreak.

  “Rebecca, you’re a wonderful mother and a supportive wife.” Lia wrapped her arms around the young woman standing in her office. The mother of twin babies, pregnant, and only twenty years old, Rebecca Farmer’s world had crumbled around her several months ago when her husband Gabe’s behavior became erratic and threatening. He’d lost touch with reality, which had cost him his job and frightened his wife and the twins. When the family was evicted for not paying the rent, Rebecca and the babies made their way to the Sanctuary, leaving Gabe behind.

  “When the police came three days ago to let me know Gabe was in the hospital and had been diagnosed with schizophrenia, I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. I wanted to be happy because the diagnosis meant that his threats and behavior weren’t really him, but you know, I’m so sad because he’ll have this illness for the rest of his life.”

  “Schizophrenia tends to strike young men just as they’re entering their twenties, right?” Lia asked.

  “Yeah, that’s what they told me,” Rebecca said, nodding.

  “How’s he doing now that he’s in treatment?” Lia let the girl go to walk back behind her desk. She shuffled some papers together, clearing her desk for the weekend. She wanted to leave work early today to go home, take a long shower, shave her legs, put on perfume, and find something pretty to wear to Jack’s later that evening. He’d called earlier to invite her to dinner and the evening seemed to be the only thing on her mind. She gave herself a mental slap and pulled her focus back to the young mother before her.

  “He’s on a bunch of different medications and he’s mostly back to who he was. The doctors said his behavior wasn’t anything he could help—something had gone haywire in his brain, like epilepsy, only in the part of the brain that controls thought. They said as long as he stays on his meds and in therapy, he can basically lead a normal life.”

  “Oh, honey, that’s wonderful.” Lia beamed at the girl. Rebecca was handling the bizarre situation well, given that the love of her life had suddenly started believing the FBI had bugged their house because the voices in his head were telling him so. Mental illness was not only cruel to its sufferers but could be painfully cruel to their families, as Lia knew from personal experience.

  “My mom had obsessive compulsive disorder,” she shared with the girl. “It was severe. Back then, they didn’t have as many effective options for treatment as they do now. The illness had a profound effect on my life. I’m so glad for your whole family that he’s getting the help he needs.”

  A faint smile crossed Rebecca’s face, to be replaced a second later with a look of concern. “What happened to your mom, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  Lia swallowed. Even after all these years, the pain still swamped her at unexpected moments. She wasn’t sure Rebecca would want to hear the answer to her question, but she knew in her heart that the young mother standing before her was stronger than she looked.

  “We lost her. She committed suicide when I was young.”

  Rebecca’s eyes widened, filled with tears. “I’m so sorry, Lia. That’s just horrible. I don’t think I could bear it if Gabe eve
r decided to take his own life.”

  “It wasn’t just because of the OCD,” Lia quickly added. “Our father was abusive, also, and she had clinical depression. But for you, just keep loving Gabe and being supportive. Make sure he takes his medication. With such a wonderful family, your husband has a whole lot to live for.”

  This time, when Rebecca smiled, the grin stayed put. “He’ll be out of the hospital in a month and we can move back in together. We can be a family again.”

  A family. Lia smiled. She knew that not all women and children who would pass through the Sanctuary’s doors would have a happy ending to their stories, but this was one to celebrate. Rebecca loved her husband as much as she did her babies, which, as evidenced by the amount of time she spent blowing raspberries on their bellies and cooing at them, was quite a bit, even by Lia’s standards. For Rebecca to be able to continue her life with her children and husband after all they’d experienced was truly a blessing.

  “Where will you live?” she asked idly, searching for a file she needed to take home to review.

  “In the same place we were before.”

  “Is it safe there? Didn’t Gabe bust out a wall or something?” Lia vaguely remembered something about Gabe dismantling an exterior wall, looking for bugs his mind had told him had been planted there by the FBI.

  “Yeah, but that construction guy who did all the work here, he went out there with his crew and replaced the wall. The owner was so grateful he let me sign another year-long lease.”

  Lia’s head shot up. “Jack Gibson repaired the house?”

  “Yeah, free of charge, too.”

  “Wow, I’m surprised. Not because Jack helped you—he’s one of the nicest people I know—but that he hadn’t told me. I didn’t realize he’d been helping out Sanctuary clients.” But then again, Jack never sought the spotlight. He simply went around helping people in that quiet and unassuming way of his.

  “I felt so grateful when Mr. Gibson offered to fix the house. He’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And pretty hot for an older guy, too.”

  At Lia’s raised eyebrow, Rebecca giggled. “Hey, I may be madly in love with my husband and pregnant to boot, but I can tell a good-looking guy when I see one. And he thinks you’re hot, too. In fact, I think Mr. Gibson is crushing on you.”

  Lia felt her jaw go slack, not sure what to say. Why would Rebecca think Jack had a crush on her? He’d never so much as hinted that he felt anything for her other than friendship. Even with the lessons on intimacy, he still acted as if everything was the same between them. Except for when Peter had been flirting with her. He’d said he’d changed somehow and that’s why he wanted to end the lessons. But then after they’d talked, he’d jumped right back into their agreed-upon plan. So that change he’d referred to must not have meant much. “Why would you think he has a crush on me?” she asked.

  Rebecca giggled. “The way he stares at you when he knows you’re not looking, the way his face lights up when you come in the room… I know he’s got it bad for you. He’s always over here at the Sanctuary fixing stuff that doesn’t need to be fixed, just so he can catch an eyeful.”

  Her stomach went quivery. “I’m not sure that’s exactly true—”

  “You know, Lia, you’re a great lady and all, but I sure don’t know why you keep him at arm’s length. If I were you, I would have jumped him a long time ago. Of course,” Rebecca added as she sidestepped out of the office, “if you did jump him, you’d probably end up married and pregnant. That’s what happened with me and Gabe—one day I was jumping his bones, and the next I was Mrs. Farmer and growing two babies inside me at once.” Rebecca sketched a wave at Lia before disappearing down the hallway.

  Lia dropped down into her office chair, leaned back, and gazed out the window. She’d had quite a bit to absorb over the last few minutes. Learning that Jack had donated his company’s time and materials to help a family he knew just in passing didn’t really surprise her, but hearing Rebecca say Jack had a crush on her did. Did he really stare at her when he thought she wasn’t looking and get happy when she entered the room?

  Could Rebecca be right—did Jack want her?

  And if he did, how did she feel about that?

  Lia shrugged on her jacket, stepped outside, and headed home, all in a daze. When Rebecca had made a joke about jumping Jack’s bones and getting knocked up and married, the thought hadn’t been unappealing. In fact, the image of snuggling up with Jack on his couch, Remmie at their feet, surprisingly brought a warm and tingly feeling to her tummy.

  Too much, she told herself. It was all too much to think about. The possibility of Jack having a crush on her, the picture of a happy family, happy home, and happy future, all needed to be banished from her brain. Getting married and pregnant wasn’t in the cards for her, at least, not right now. That was Sadie’s deal. Besides, Jack couldn’t possibly be interested in her. He would have said something if he was, right?

  Or would he? He knew she only wanted his help. He knew this wasn’t some bizarre play for him she’d cooked up. He knew she only thought of him as a friend. Surely he wouldn’t have actually agreed to teach her how to stop being afraid of sex and help her prepare for some other man’s hands on her body if all along he’d wanted her himself?

  She shook her head. As altruistic as Jack could be, no man was that selfless. Rebecca must have had her head in the clouds, imagining things. Jack was being a friend—a good friend, definitely—but just a friend by giving her sex lessons. And soon, she’d actually have sex with him.

  And hopefully, she’d even enjoy it.

  * * *

  The fire in his fireplace glowed, down almost to embers, as Jack watched the light dance off Lia’s sleek hair. He filled the rest of her wine glass with twenty-year-old tawny port and then dropped a kiss on the top of her head, luxuriating for a moment in her scent, a heady concoction of sweet roses. Seemed like he’d built quite the habit of kissing her head. Smelling her hair.

  Dinner had gone well, he figured. Lia had arrived two hours ago. Between the two of them, they’d finished a bottle of wine over a meal of tri-tip steak, a risotto he’d spent all afternoon making, and a green salad with blue cheese and candied walnuts. They’d taken their time enjoying each other’s company over the meal, even indulging in a dessert of blackberry pie he’d baked from scratch. Lia had been impressed with his culinary skills and he’d been impressed with her…well, there wasn’t anything about her that didn’t impress and inspire him. But now, with dinner and dessert finished, the dishes cleared, and the fire slowly burning itself out, the unspoken question hung in the air…would tonight be the night for sex?

  He’d decided earlier to let Lia take the lead and had hinted as much over the phone when he’d called to arrange the evening. He hadn’t brought up sex when she arrived, nor had he touched on the subject over dinner. Their conversation had centered on each other’s jobs, politics, and movies. Typical dinner conversation between friends. But so far, Lia hadn’t brought up the idea of going to bed.

  A thought gripped him. What if she’d changed her mind? What if she no longer wanted sex lessons, no longer wanted to sleep with him? Could she be here tonight just to be polite? He ran a hand through his hair, blew out a puff of air. This was his one chance, his one shot at making her love him—he couldn’t blow it.

  Lia tipped her glass upward and drained the rest of the amber liquid. With a graceful movement, she placed the now empty crystal glass next to his on the coffee table. She surprised him by continuing her fluid motion, swinging her body up and around to sit on his lap, straddling his thighs. She tunneled her hands through his hair, held his head still, and covered his lips with her hot and willing mouth.

  She’d come so far in just a couple of weeks in exploring her sexuality, he realized as she ground deeper into the kiss. Less than a month ago she wouldn’t have even been able to touch him, not to mention kiss him. Or straddle him. Heat surged to his midsection as she shifted, and her pubic bone
pressed against his groin. His erection and his heart leaped at the same time. He tried to remember what he’d promised himself earlier—this time he’d keep his heart in lockdown.

  Lia’s kiss intensified. She sucked the breath right out of him. Deftly, she undid the buttons of his shirt, swept it aside to expose his chest. Then, in a seamless motion, she put her mouth to his chest and sucked his nipples.

  “Mmm…” he groaned. Lia’s mouth on his skin felt more than erotic; it was like shooting stars across his skin. “I don’t care what you think—you so have sex appeal, Lia Sawyer,” he said, reaching out his hand to touch her hair. He fingered a strand, tucked it behind her ear.

  “I think I’m starting to believe you,” she said, her voice throaty and low, so unlike the timid Lia who needed to get drunk to ask him for sex lessons.

  He chuckled. He’d unleashed a monster. Or rather, Lia had—she’d finally allowed her inner beast to be released from its chains.

  “Believe me,” he murmured.

  “Prove it.” Lia breathed the words in his ear.

  “Prove what?”

  “Prove to me I have sex appeal. Prove to me you want me.”

  That was a challenge he was more than willing to take.

  All he had to do was press his hips upward, connect the hard shaft of his erection to her, straddled right over his hips. Tonight was the night—Lia would get the night of sex she’d been waiting for, and he’d get to sleep with her the way he’d always wanted.

  And tomorrow it might all be over.

  But for now, Lia had asked for proof of her sex appeal, and he was going to give it to her. She eased her way off his thighs and he immediately missed her heat.

  A log, burning in the fireplace, shifted, making the light from the fire dance on her face. An unbearable weight pressed down on Jack’s chest. She was so beautiful. And for tonight, she was also his.

  “What now?” she whispered.

  “Now I want to take you to bed,” he said. He tugged his shirt off, and then stood up, reaching for Lia’s hand.