by A. J. Downey
“Why the fuck you want cake when you can eat barely legal teen pie?” he demanded and I bowed my head and shook it.
He held out his hand and I put mine in it, pulling each other into it to bump shoulders. Peace made, squabble in the rearview… thank fuck.
Chapter 32
Maren
I texted Nox, dying to know…
Me: Did you work things out with Rush?
It felt like forever before the phone buzzed through with an answer, and when it did, it made me smile.
Nox: Yes Angel. U worry too much. Told u it was going to b fine.
I smiled and tapped out another message to him, a question this time…
Me: When can I see you again?
A few seconds later:
Nox: Knock knock
I looked up, just as a knock came at the front door. Sage slammed down the stairs as I moved through the kitchen. He beat me to the door and flung it open.
Nox smiled and laughed, “Hey, buddy!” I paused in the kitchen archway, smiling but a little unsure. His twin, Rush, stood behind him on the front porch.
“Hey, Nox! I didn’t think you were coming.”
“What, and miss out on Taco Tuesday? You kidding me?”
“Can I come in?” Rush called out from behind Nox and I forced a brave smile, his words still cutting from the lake.
I called back, “Sure, there’s plenty for everyone.”
Rush smiled, and the two men came into the house, closing the door behind them and hanging their jackets and cuts on the hooks set into the wooden plaque on the wall by the door.
“You miss me?” Nox asked, coming to me for a kiss. I smiled up into his face.
“Always,” I murmured.
“How was work?” he asked, and Sage scoffed.
“Boring!” he declared.
“She make you go with her?” Rush asked and Sage nodded.
“I didn’t want him here playing video games all day. We still have some spring break left, I told him I’d let him do it one day, but today wasn’t it.” Sage rolled his eyes and passed me going into the kitchen, taking a seat at one of the kitchen counter stools.
Nox and I went to work cooking dinner, as we all laughed and talked, ignoring the elephant in the room for the time being. After dinner, Sage helped clean up along with Nox and Rush, giving me a break. Though truthfully, it was actually Rush’s idea.
I could sense he wanted to speak but was graciously waiting on Sage to leave the room. I had some mixed feelings about it. While I was grateful to keep the grown-up stuff between the grownups, there were times, like this one, that I felt like I was doing Sage a disservice.
Rush kept giving me sidelong looks, and then trading yet more sidelong looks with his brother until, eventually, Nox sighed and said, “Hey Sage, do me a favor and sit back at the table for a minute before you go upstairs.”
“Am I in trouble?” Sage asked, hesitating.
“No, little man… I am,” Rush said with a tired smile.
I perked up a bit, and the three of them joined me at the table. I took a fortifying sip of my tea and waited Rush out patiently.
He addressed Sage first, “So, you know, part of being in the club is having your brother’s backs and holding them accountable, right?” he asked.
“I guess so,” Sage said slowly, his face guarded.
“Well, the same is true in reverse,” Nox said. “Part of being in the club is that your brothers have your back, but that they hold you accountable when you f-fudge up.”
I bit my bottom lip and tried to hide my smile at Nox’s last second correction.
“Okay, did I screw up?” Sage asked.
“No, man. I screwed up, at the lake, and I need to apologize to your sister,” Rush said.
“It’s okay,” I said softly, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.
“It’s not, and I’m really sorry for what I said to you, Maren. It was unfair. I fucked up, it came out of my own bad history and insecurities. I upset you, and your brother by default, for no reason and it wasn’t cool. I hope you can forgive me.”
The silence stretched between us for a moment as I tried to find words, “Of course I forgive you. I’m sorry I reacted badly…”
“See, you ain’t gotta apologize for that…”
“No, in some ways I do. It came from a similar place, out of my own bad history and insecurities.”
Nox was staring at Sage who was ping-ponging between me and Rush as we spoke. He nudged my brother and said gently, “See, this is what real men do. We apologize when we screw up, and we own it. We don’t try to hide it, or pretend whatever we did, didn’t happen. That’s called honor and if you don’t have honor, you have nothing.”
“You are nothing,” Rush added. “It’s okay to make mistakes. We all do. I did. It’s what we do after we make them, how we handle them, that matters. You get me?”
I smiled then, eyes growing wet with tears as my heart swelled to ten times its size with both gratitude and pride. I could see it in my brother’s face that he was really thinking about this. Filing it away for future reference and that what Rush and Nox had just done was making quite the impression and I couldn’t even begin to tell them just how grateful I was for it.
Sage looked over to me and asked, “Think this calls for ice cream?” a hopeful edge to his voice and the two men laughed with me.
“I think that’s a fine idea,” I said.
We had ice cream and talked until way past mine and Sage’s bedtime, but it was worth it. When I saw Nox and Rush to the door, it was with a bittersweet longing for them both to stay. I wasn’t quite ready for the magic captured that evening to end.
It’d felt like family around our little dining room table. For a moment or two, it had felt like when my dad was alive and I missed him, so, so, much. While it hadn’t been exactly as when he’d been alive, it had been close enough, and I wanted to hold on to that feeling.
Nox kissed me goodnight, and whispered “Goodnight, Angel,” against my lips.
I smiled and had the thought that he had it wrong… if anything, Nox was my angel.
“Can you come back?” I whispered.
“After Sage is asleep?”
“Yeah.”
He smiled, “I think that can be arranged. Let me ride to the club and grab a change of clothes for work in the morning. Sound good?”
“Sounds good.”
I let him go, and set about getting ready for bed along with Sage who surprised me when he said, “Nox should move in with us.”
I spit out my toothpaste, holding my hair aside, and asked, “What makes you say that?”
He shrugged, “He’s family now. I like him, and you don’t think I know he sneaks back here and stays the night?” My brother rolled his eyes at me, “I’m eleven. I’m not a baby anymore, and I’m not stupid.”
I made an incredulous sound, my mouth falling open as he headed out the bathroom door and went to make the turn into his bedroom.
“Don’t worry,” he said, smirking. “It’s not like I hear you having sex. You guys are really good at being quiet.”
“Sage!” I shouted indignantly, but it was met by the sound of his bedroom door closing. I stood, shocked, face flaming with my toothbrush forgotten in my hand for a full minute before I got back with it.
When Nox returned, slipping quietly into my room, I told him what happened. My cheeks flamed further when he couldn’t stop laughing. Loud peals of laughter that became infectious, until before long I was laughing, too.
“You’re not helping!” I declared and he dropped onto the edge of the bed beside me.
“I think we should finish the room swap with your dad’s old room, how about you? Put some more distance between yours and your brother’s and while you’re at it, officially claim the title of ‘parent’ of the household.”
I searched his face. He wasn’t wrong, and my father’s room was essentially gutted now. All of his belongings in storage in the attic, or donate
d to good will, accordingly. We had no reason to keep his clothes and it had been a painful thing to take them away, but Sage and I had done it together.
“I can get some of the guys to help, maybe in the next weekend or two? I think it’s time, Baby.”
I nodded mutely, and wondered, not for the first time and probably not for the last, how I would ever do any of this without Nox there to hold my hand.
I must have said it out loud because he smiled at me, and it held the warmth of the sun despite the night pressing against the window glass.
“You never have to find out, Angel, because I’m here.”
I melted. He gathered me into his arms, and I fit so wonderfully against his chest. Like two jigsaw puzzles, we just fit and I was really beginning to think that god intended us that way. I felt equal parts blessed that I had found Nox so early in life and saddened that it had taken poor Nox so long…
“Babe?” he asked as I slipped from the bed and onto my knees in front of him.
He held his hands out to the sides as I undid his belt. A gleam of deep, dark desire moving behind his eyes, and he made no move to stop me.
Permission granted, I thought to myself, and undid his jeans, lifting him out of the front and wrapping my lips around the head of his cock. He was soft but wasn’t staying that way. He grew in my mouth and down my throat and I closed my eyes, relaxing and swallowing, concentrating so I wouldn’t choke. I took him deep into my mouth, so far my lips touched his body and listened with satisfaction at his “Oh, god, fuck yes, Angel!”
I took my time with this, slow and patient, a serenity filling me that I could do this. Give him pleasure, and that he not only was letting me have my way with him, that he was genuinely enjoying it. It gave me a sense of power, made me feel almost invincible, and on top of that; sexy, and alluring.
His moans and heavy breathing made me bolder in my explorations, and I took my time, rolling my eyes to look up his body and take in every subtle reaction. He gathered my hair and held it back for me as I bobbed my mouth up and down, slicking his cock with my saliva, teasing the underside with my tongue, velvet against the satin flesh of his erection.
I grew wet. I wasn’t wearing any panties under my nightgown, which I was happy for, because I knew just about any second he was going to grab the condom I had waiting off my bedside table and would put it to good use. He fisted his hand in the back of my hair in that controlling way that turned my insides to liquid fire and I pressed my thighs together, body trembling finely as he pulled my mouth off his cock and bent, shoving his mouth against mine.
He kissed me long and lingering deep, even as he stood, gently pulling me up by a combination of my hair and an arm around my body. I shivered with want and anticipation as he tore his mouth from mine and growled at me, “Lose the nightgown.”
I slid the straps off my shoulders slowly, making eye contact the entire time, and let the material inch down my body, a slow, sexy reveal that left Nox’s gaze heated and hungry. He tugged gently at my scalp and I sank down onto the mattress, sitting at his wordless command. He nudged my knees apart with one of his and surprised me when he relinquished my hair and went to his knees between mine.
“Lay back and relax, Angel,” he murmured, his breath hot and tantalizing against my skin. He placed a gentle, chaste kiss against my right inner thigh and I shivered, laying back even as he used the breadth of his shoulders to keep my legs open for him. He wrapped his arms around my outer thighs and with one strong motion, pulled me, sliding me bodily against the bed, until my ass barely rested at the edge. I squeaked in surprise which Nox quickly turned to a moan as he lapped at me, his tongue hot and wet against my sex, splitting the lips of my pussy until he reached the pearl at the top. He teased my clit with a gentle probing of his tongue and I stuffed both my hands against my mouth to stifle the moans and cries trying to escape.
His finger slid inside me with hardly any effort at all, my arousal peaked as it was. I writhed at the feeling as he teased my walls, and his response was to use his other arm as a barrier across my hips, pinning me down so that he could have his way. I’d never had anyone do this before and I was amazed at just how good it felt. His lips and tongue were sweet and considerate, as was he, listening for my cues and trying new things accordingly.
I yipped when he found a particularly sensitive spot inside me and he chuckled, the sound dark and rich like fine chocolate as he pinned me down harder with his arm and began to exploit the spot with gentle probes of his finger even as he began a new assault with his tongue on the outside.
Oh. My. God.
I collapsed back onto the bed and felt like I had both died and gone to heaven. I gripped the covers in my fists and panted as he wound me up, my body tightening in response to what his lips, tongue, and fingers did to me. I closed my eyes, breath coming in heavy pants as that warm glow of champagne bubbles zephyred through my body, brushing every last nerve ending with pleasure.
He grabbed for the condom off the bedside table as I lay panting and spent, my hands over my mouth, looking at him. He loomed above me, standing between my legs, kicking off his boots and out of his pants the rest of the way. He put the condom on carefully, and stared down at me for a full second, sweeping me with his hungry gaze, before he pulled his tee over his head.
I drank the sight of his hard, nude body in, and reached my hands out to him. He smiled and it held a light that was beautiful, as he once again wrapped his arms powerfully around my legs above my knees and jerked me, dragging me back to the edge of the bed from where I’d squirmed away from it. He lifted me, back arching sharply, and fitted himself inside me. I put my legs around him and he stroked a few times before lowering himself to his knees and me back down to the bed.
He ravished me. He pushed inside me and followed through with his thrusts until I thought for sure that he would either come out the other side or split me in two. It took me a little while to adjust, while I liked it when he gave it to me hard like this, it sometimes started off with an edge of pain to it as he nudged so deep inside of me, my body was cranky about yielding to the invasion.
The orgasm first had helped, and he helped things along by straddling one of my legs on the bed. He raised my other one against his chest, hugging it, massaging my thigh, before unknotting one of my hands from its death grip in my quilt and leading it, skimming across my skin, to my pussy.
“Touch yourself, Angel. I want to watch.” As an afterthought, he took my hand away from my body and put those fingers in his mouth, sucking them, teasing them with his tongue, and lubing them up with his saliva. He guided them, wet and ready, to my waiting clit, and I closed my eyes and arched, doing as he asked, touching myself.
It was such a sense of power and beauty he gave me with the request, I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. Still, whatever the case may be, it was both hard for me and a long time for me to come but god did it feel good in the meantime. I lay as his strokes went from punishing and fast to long and lazy as he attempted to find what worked that would work me into another orgasm.
He was so patient, and I found myself apologizing for taking so long to reach one. He laughed and shoved himself all the way deep, holding himself there.
“Don’t you ever apologize for taking too long to come, Baby; you take as long as you take. It’s no hardship for me, believe me. Now touch that clit, breathe for me and relax.”
I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feeling of him and did as he ordered, sliding my fingers through my wetness and around that sensitive bundle of nerves. He made short, deep, strokes, and I gasped, the tide of pleasure rising. I kept at it, finding what worked until I felt full to the very top.
“That’s it baby, tighter,” he murmured and I let the tide roll me and sweep me under, the whole time Nox held me tight, my anchor to reality and my rock to shelter against. He drove into me, through my spasms and with a subtle ‘oh god’ and a final thrust, he let my leg off to the side and collapsed over me, sealing his mouth to mine and
burying his fingers in my hair, holding it back from our faces.
This was heaven. This is where my happiness lay, and this was where I was safe. With Nox, in his arms…
Chapter 33
Nox
My brother Archer was on the floor, melting the fuck down like I had never in my fucking life seen before. I swallowed hard and exchanged a look with Rush who’s face said just as loudly as my thundering heart – this was scary. No, terrifying.
How many times had Archer been there for us? How many times had he shouldered the burden so we didn’t have to? And now, here he was, the most vulnerable I had ever seen him, his newborn son being taken from his arms, openly weeping and all I wanted to do was hide from it.
Not going to happen.
I stood shoulder to shoulder with my oldest brother, even as Rush took his other side. We watched through the glass set in the operating room’s doors as Doc did his thing. All of us, our eyes glued to the monitor. The line went flat, and Archer wailed, turning, slamming his back against the wall by the doors sliding to the floor.
Rush and I braced him and let him weep. What else could we do?
I felt hollow. I’d held a fondness for Melody, ever since she’d been with Grind. She was sweet, and everything Grind, god love him, didn’t deserve. When she’d come here with Noah is when I discovered that I’d loved her like a sister, and now, too soon, she was gone? After everything Arch had done to protect us, to protect and become a better man for her, and it was over like this?
No. It couldn’t be.
“Please, God don’t you take her from me,” Archer said through his tears and I was struck low. I had never, once ever, heard my brother pray and it did something to me. Sent me into a state of numb fear… and I felt myself start to spiral and lose strength and will.
It was the weirdest fucking thing as if Archer’s weakness over the situation threw my world off its axis, and out of its spin.
This wasn’t how things were supposed to be…
Numbness took over, and duty. I had a duty to my brother, and my sister-in-law both, to shore him up as best I could, to have faith that she was going to pull through, and above all, be there for their sons.