by A. J. Downey
Rush and I helped Archer to the waiting room for two of the most agonizing hours of our lives.
Doc finally came and found us, all of us, the whole club, waiting for him. He pulled the mask off his face and said, “She lost a lot of blood, we had to perform an emergency partial hysterectomy, but she’s still with us. She’s sleepin’ now. Come on back, Papa.”
Archer lurched to his feet and hugged Doc, while several of us were laid low with relief. Most of the ol’ ladies had tears in their eyes. Some of the rest of the men, myself included, were doing their best to hold theirs back.
I exchanged a look with Rush and he gave me a nod. He got it. Too many people. Too much all at once. I needed space. I needed to go… Archer looked back at me and Rush and said, “Thanks, I got it from here,” and it was all the absolution I fuckin’ needed.
I left, didn’t look back, went straight out to my bike and straight to the one person I knew could fix this with her kindness, understanding, and grace… this war of fucked up emotions, this scared, lost little boy inside me.
I went to Maren’s and stood on her front stoop knocking, pounding on the front door until she opened it.
“Nox! What’s wrong?” she asked, but I was already on my knees, arms around her, face buried in her stomach and sobbing like a child.
“Oh my, god…” she gasped and wrapped her arms around me, taking me in, kissing the top of my hair and giving me a place to shelter from this shit storm of emotions I had absolutely no fucking control over.
***
“What happened?” she asked me gently, some time later. I was huddled miserably on her couch, head in her lap staring at the fire I’d gotten going in the fireplace. Maren sat stoically, gently running her fingertips through my hair.
“Mel had her baby,” I said and shifted uncomfortably.
“Oh, oh no… did he die?”
“No, Mel almost did.”
She stilled, and I closed my eyes and told her everything, she kept up with the soothing little touches, and it did a lot to keep me calm. She sighed gently and bent over me, placing a kiss on my temple.
“I don’t know what happened,” I said and rubbed my eyes.
She was quiet for a time, lending me back the strength I’d poured into her time and again and I thought to myself, this is what partnership should be before she spoke again.
“Could it be, watching Archer, the always strong and solid one, break down… could it be that it triggered a panic attack or a flashback of some kind?” she asked quietly.
I nodded, “I think you might be right,” I said, thinking back to how I’d felt thrown back in time. How I’d felt like that fucking helpless little boy with Duncan bearing down on me. How I felt like my only defense against anything in this world had crumbled and I was suddenly on my own…
“Maren?”
We both turned, startled, at Sage’s voice. He sat on the stairs, peering at us through the spindles holding the railing together and I recognized that look. It was the same one that I’d seen on Rush, Grind’s and even Archer’s face a thousand times and more coming up…
“It’s okay, Sage,” Maren said, beating me to it.
“What happened?” He asked, and I sat up and sniffed, realizing that what Archer was to me, a defense, a big brother and someone I could always count on... I was that to Sage now. It was a huge responsibility and one I never fully appreciated until now.
I owed Archer one hell of an expensive bottle of scotch, and it still wasn’t even close to expressing the gratitude I had for him in that moment.
“Come on down here, buddy.”
Sage came down the stairs and sat next to me on the couch. The three of us talked, and worked on some of our issues. Sage’s distress at my distress diminished and even he asked if Melody was okay, and what was going to happen.
“I don’t know, buddy. She stays in the hospital. I know Archer is gonna stay with her until she gets better. I guess it means I’ll be hanging out with Noah a little bit more for a while until they can all come home as a family.”
“Can I help?” he asked and I huffed a bit of a laugh.
“We’ll see,” I said.
“I thought you said that brothers helped each other when sh- things went sideways,” he corrected.
“They do,” I said, blinking in surprise.
“Then I want to help,” he said, mouth thinned down in a line of grim determination.
I exchanged a look with Maren, whose expression was a mix of pride and wistfulness. She said, “Good, I’m going to need you to help because I still have to work.”
She put out her hand and Sage put his on top, without hesitation. He looked at me expectantly and as cheesy as it was, it felt good and I felt like it was our own thing, so I put my hand on top of the pile. We raised them and dropped them with some finality and stayed on the couch, all of us staring into the fire for long minutes until we all agreed the following day wasn’t going to wait for us, and we needed sleep.
I stayed, cradling Maren in the curve of my body, pulling her back against me tightly and swearing on whatever powers that fucking be, that I was never letting go and that no matter what life threw at us, it was going to be me before her.
If it wasn’t, it was going to be me, not long after. I couldn’t fathom a life without her but she never had to know. No one did. That was just inviting trouble and shrinks and what have you. Just another thing my fucked up childhood had taught me early on.
Chapter 34
Maren
“You look beautiful,” Shelly said, leaning back with the mascara wand.
“Pictures, we need pictures!” Evy cried and then there was Melody, her camera in her hands, clicking away. Dazzling flashbulbs going off in my face until I raised my hand laughing at all of them.
We were at the club, and all of the ol’ ladies had taken over one of the guy’s rooms to get me ready for my prom date with Nox.
The club was having a huge laugh at my boyfriend – excuse me, my ol’ man’s, expense and I felt very lucky that he not only was taking it in stride, he seemed to revel in it.
All because it makes you happy. I thought. I smiled and stood up, the white dress Dani, Ashton, and Hayden had helped me pick was gorgeous. It was a solid opaque with spaghetti straps to hold it up. It clung to every curve and angle and made me look feminine, but that wasn’t the coolest part.
Overlaying everything was a gauzy, ethereal material, long bell sleeves of it off my shoulders and draping finely, millions of little crystal jewels glued to it so no matter where I stepped or how I moved it sparkled and flashed like I was something out of a fantasy movie.
I’d tried it on for laughs, the price tag way exceeding my modest budget, but when I had stepped out of the dressing room? No one had laughed and Ashton had declared she was buying it for me. No ‘buts’ and no arguments.
I’d tried anyways, but Hayden and Dani had good-naturedly bullied me into accepting the expensive dress as a gift. Dani had even pulled a sketchpad out of her back pocket, a little notepad kind, and had started drawing in it before we even reached the register.
She’d made jewelry to go with it. Beautiful white gold drop earrings and drop pendant that rested in the hollow of my throat. Shelly had expertly done my makeup and standing in front of the mirror, I looked much closer to twenty-eight than eighteen. I wondered what Nox would think, as Everett fussed with my hair a few more times, getting the light, loose curls to lay over my shoulder just so before giving me the okay to go out and be seen.
“I think you’re gorgeous,” she declared.
“You’re really beautiful,” Melody said, sniffing.
“Oh, don’t cry!” I said and felt my own eyes tear up. “You do and I’ll ruin my makeup!”
We laughed and she moved slowly, still sore and not fully healed from her ordeal of only a couple of weeks before. It would take four to six more for her to be fully at one hundred percent, but she’d insisted on being here with everyone else for my specia
l night. She came towards me and hugged me saying, “I’m so proud of you.”
I sniffed and said back, “Okay, really now, stop it or I’m gonna cry.”
There was laughter, several of us choking up, and then Mandy clapped her hands together, “Well, as much as I thank you for the early practice before Eden gets to be this age,” more laughter, “I think we should go see what your ol’ man looks like, yeah?”
I smiled bravely and nodded, nervous for the first time in a long time about seeing Nox. I followed the rest of the club women out towards the club’s common room and bar. Holding my breath slightly as they parted and let me through to see Nox.
He straightened from tying one of his black and white wing-tip shoes and I forgot to breathe for a moment. He wore black slacks and a deep, blood red shirt that had a vaguely metallic sheen to it. A narrow black satin tie looked smart against the red, and his dark hair was slicked back. He looked dashing and daring and was probably more attractive than I had ever found him. We stood several paces apart, just looking at each other, speechless.
Rush ruined the spell by slapping his twin brother in the arm, holding out his leather jacket and cut to him. I smiled and didn’t have a single complaint. It was so much a part of him, a suit jacket would have seemed… weird. Nox shook his head and held his hands out to Trigger who handed him a plastic clamshell box; a white orchid corsage inside of it.
Nox opened it up carefully and came to me, holding the band for my wrist. I slid my hand through and he breathed, “You’re so beautiful, my Angel fell to earth, didn’t she?”
I blushed furiously, and smiled mischievously, asking “With the color scheme, does that make you the devil tonight?”
“Only when the music stops and I have you to myself,” he murmured.
My breath caught again and I pressed my thighs together unconsciously against the sudden tingle of want between them. He leaned down, cupping my cheek and carefully kissed me, a slight brush of lips so as not to ruin my lip gloss.
The camera went off, and some catcalls and whistles went up and I smiled.
“Come on you two,” Archer said. “Up against the mural and let Mel get some real good shots of you.”
We obliged, and smiled, standing in some traditional prom photo poses in front of the Sacred Heart’s mural behind the pool table, which had mysteriously moved to allow Mel the space she needed to get all of us in the photo without hassle.
“Like to think you planned this or something,” I said to some laughs and chuckles.
Archer held his new son, Chandler, and stared dotingly after Mel while Dragon had a hold of a sleeping Noah. The Little guy was completely racked out against the President’s shoulder.
“Okay, family, both club and not, let’s let these two get to dinner and their dance,” he said and some of the guys started cracking up at Nox’s expense.
“Yeah, yeah, y’all are just jealous you can’t recapture your youth,” he said and I smiled.
“Hey Nox, think fast,” Rev called and threw something at us. I flinched but Nox caught the flashing object, the ring of keys slapping his palm reaching my ears.
He looked down, “The Chevelle? Really?”
Rev shrugged, “You only go to prom once…” He frowned. “Except for you.”
“Hey, this is my first prom too. I skipped out on my first one.”
“You did? I didn’t know that.”
Nox smiled at me, “I did, and I’ll tell you over dinner.”
We left, and when we stepped out front it was to a classic red and white muscle car waiting for us. It was beautiful, and worth it to see the light in Nox’s eyes over it. He opened my door for me and I got in, murmuring my thanks.
“Anything for you, Angel. You should know that by now.”
He closed the door on me and went around to the front, getting in on his side. He started the engine with a feisty growl that settled into a dangerous rumbling purr and with a lot of cheering and applause, we pulled down the club’s driveway and onto the street.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going for dinner now?” I asked, curiosity killing me. He smiled and it held such love and so many secrets. I laughed, “You’re going to drive me insane,” I told him.
“Every intention of it, Baby. Just like I have every intention of pulling that dress off with my teeth.”
I felt my mouth drop open as he chuckled and accelerated, and I found myself laughing with him. I perked up when we turned down some familiar streets and a smile painted itself from ear to ear.
“It’s Filiberto’s, isn’t it?” I asked and he smiled.
“First place we had dinner out together and it’s your favorite. I thought it was as good a place as any.” He pulled us up smoothly to the curb.
“I love you so much for not putting me through the torture of some ridiculously fancy and stupid restaurant we’d need to go to McDonald’s for after.”
He laughed and said, “Filiberto’s is pretty fancy as far as places that I frequent go; but yeah, at least we know the food is good and there’s enough of it to be satisfied. Don’t go anywhere, let me get your door.”
He came around and opened up my door and held out his hand to me, gallant, like the gentleman his rough exterior hid. I took it and stepped out onto the curb and he shut and locked up the car. He held out his arm and we strolled up the sidewalk to the restaurant.
We exchanged a look inside the door and had to laugh. We weren’t the only well-dressed couple waiting to see the hostess. It seemed that this may be a favorite spot for more than a couple of high schools having their prom tonight, because while I recognized a few of my classmates, the majority of the students here were complete strangers.
“I love your dress,” a blonde girl in royal blue murmured and hers was pretty, too with her coloring. I smiled and complimented her while her date stared wide-eyed at Nox and his colors.
“Is that your dad?” she asked quietly and I laughed and smiled, used to it by now.
“No, he’s my boyfriend,” I responded and she colored lightly.
“I’m so sorry,” she stammered when her boyfriend elbowed her.
“Don’t be, it happens all the time,” Nox said and gave her one of his best, disarming smiles.
“Comes with the territory,” I assured her.
“Anyone with a reservation?” the hostess asked above the slight crowd and Nox raised his finger.
“Name?”
“Nox,” he said and she looked. He smiled and said, “It might be under Landon Fisher.”
“Ah! Thank you, here it is… right this way, Nox,” she said and when we looked back at the touchscreen at the hostess station we both laughed.
Displayed was ‘Reservation for two, second level, table nineteen, Mr. Landon Fisher – call him ‘Nox’ whatever you do.’
“What was that?”
Nox laughed a little and told me, “When I made the reservation, they kept asking for my name and I’d tell her ‘Nox’ she asked for my first name and I told her ‘Nox’ she asked for my last name and I said ‘no last name.’ She said she didn’t understand, so I finally said ‘Fine, Landon Fisher but call me Nox, dammit!’ I must have scared her.”
I laughed, “If they only knew how absolutely amazing you are, Mr. Nox,” I whispered and leaned up to kiss him on his cheek. He laughed and smiled and pulled out my chair for me, and I had to smile even wider… it was our table, the one on the second floor in the back.
We had a fine meal and being seated where we were, we had the illusion of privacy. Nox twined his fingers with mine and we spoke of the future. Of the plans I had for working at Soul Fuel and the possibility of further education. We slipped back to the conversation of making my dad’s old room my own, which I still hadn’t done, but had been slowly chipping away at storing things and getting comfortable with the idea of it.
It was a lovely dinner and I found myself both sated and relaxed without being over full. I fixed my lip gloss in my small compact, and stashed
both items in the small clutch purse I carried with me.
He got my door for me once more, and we drove to my school. One of the very last times for me. Graduation was just days away, our prom late this year. He pulled into a space and we walked across the parking lot hand in hand towards the main doors.
The prom was held in the cafeteria in my school. Much preferable to the gym, as well as much easier to transform. When we went through the doors it was into another world. The theme this year was ‘Happily Ever After’ which wasn’t that ironic? Mine was guiding me with a hand on my lower back in front of a fairy tale themed backdrop for yet more photos of us.
The photographer tried to take Nox’s coat to which he snapped, “Hands off my colors.” The photographer froze and Nox added, “Please,” at my gentle reminding look that these people just didn’t understand.
The photographer let it go and Nox took off his jacket and cut, hanging them close by, just out of the camera’s view but within reach, on the back of a chair Mr. Hunter set out. Nox gave Mr. Hunter a nod which Mr. Hunter returned and we had our photos taken, Nox remaining polite, even nice to the photographer who really hadn’t known any better.
We slipped off to the side and Mr. Hunter suggested, “Perhaps it would be best if we locked it in my office?”
Nox smiled, thinly and shook his head, “Maren, Angel, I’m going to run this outside, maybe have one of my brothers pick it up. You cool to wait here for a minute?”
“Absolutely,” I agreed, and he left to take care of things.
“I don’t believe I will ever fully understand that culture,” Mr. Hunter remarked and I smiled at him.
“You would be amazed at how fiercely loyal and protective they are,” I murmured.
“Of their property, yes… treating women as property… Maren, I would be remiss if I didn’t say I worry about you.”
“I appreciate the concern, Mr. Hunter, I really do, but I can’t explain things to you. Just believe me when I say, part of why they are so misunderstood is because of how intensely private they are. The other side of the coin is that they have no desire whatsoever to compromise that privacy in order to explain or reveal their views to what they perceive as the idly curious.”