“Are you trying to fucking kill me?” I cough and try to exhale to get my lungs to work properly again.
“Why would you say that? Are you trying to say the food is disgusting?” She’s already offended. Tonight is going to be a long one.
“No, I didn’t say that. I’m just saying you don’t say that kind of thing, especially not when I’m eating and when you damn well know that I don’t want to get married. Not now, not ever.” I try to keep my cool, but she’s really getting on my nerves.
“It’ll happen, baby. We’ll have a beautiful wedding. I want a big one.” She caresses my hand and tries to entwine our fingers, but I pull my hand away.
“Look, I don’t want what you want out of this. I don’t care about what you and my parents are planning behind my back. It. Won’t. Happen,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Why do you have to be so mean?” She fans herself, trying not to cry. Here we go a-fucking-gain.
“I’m not being mean. I’ve told you countless times since you first mentioned how you want to get married and have kids that I don’t want any of that. I never did, and I never will. It’s not me. If you can’t accept that, then you should find yourself someone else.” I put my fork down and push the plate away. She ruined this good meal.
“You’re just an asshole!” she yells and slaps me before running up the stairs, no doubt to call my father or stepmom.
I rub my face, trying to keep my calm before I kick her out. I can’t deal with her. I often wonder if the reason why I want to break up with her is just because she’s annoying or because I’m just not into women. Tonight it’s because she’s a fucking whiney bitch.
I hear a loud crash upstairs and banging against the wall. She’s having one of her childish tantrums. She’s not used to people saying no to her. She comes from a rich family where everybody just says yes to whatever she says or asks for. She’s a spoiled brat, and when she doesn’t get her way, she throws fits. It’s happening more and more lately, and that just makes me want to end things even more. Fuck the consequences with my parents, I need to think about my own happiness, and right now I’m not happy. Thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy or content in my life.
I’m thirty-five, and I’ve never known happiness or love. I sigh, feeling sorry for myself when someone knocks on the door. At least it’ll bring some distraction from the mess waiting for me upstairs.
I walk to the door and open it, only to see Matt standing there in all his glory. Black hair slicked back, no shirt, and just wearing sweatpants without any boxers on judging by the dick print I can see. I seriously have to stop checking him out.
“What do you want?” I ask sounding more annoyed than usual.
“First of all, nice body, damn. Second, don’t take that attitude with me, I haven’t done shit to you. And thirdly, can you ask bitchzilla upstairs to stop kicking up a storm. I don’t know what the hell she’s doing, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your place was wrecked. Although you could come sleep at mine if that were the case. I have a big bed.” He winks at me.
“Thanks for the offer, I’ll keep it in mind.” I give him a fake smile. If I weren’t so fucking mad at Lindsey, I would take him up on his offer. At least I’d know how I feel.
“Will you really or are you just trying to get rid of me?” He leans against the wall, looking hot as ever.
“First one.” I look away from him. I can’t believe I just confessed to that.
“Now that’s a twist I never expected to see. Did she turn you gay?” he whispers leaning closer to me.
“Not the time or place to talk about that.” I glare at him.
“Fair enough. Can you ask her to keep it down? I have an important meeting early morning.”
“Another fuckboy that early in the morning?” I snort.
“Jealous?” He smirks, and I nod. “Good. Maybe your turn will come one day.” He goes to leave and turns toward me. “For the record, I have a meeting with your boss early morning to interview him about the new shop. It’ll go with the spread that’ll be in our magazine. Maybe I’ll see you there.” He winks at me and leaves, making me want to follow him, pin him against the wall and kiss his soft, plump lips.
I close the door and lean back, resting my head against the door. It’s the first time I’m admitting to myself that I’m intrigued by men since I was sent to military camp. I learned quickly to repress any feelings I could have toward men. It’s also the first time that I really feel jealous. The thought of Matt going with another fuckboy really hit me hard. I don’t know why. Or maybe I’m just lying to myself like I’ve been for most of my life.
I’ve always had a crush on Matt. Since I moved in, I’ve wanted him. Wanted to know how his lips would feel on mine or wrapped around my cock. How our bodies would feel, holding each other while we fuck the night away. It all went to shit when I first busted him and John fucking in the garden. I was upstairs in my room, about to go to bed when I saw them. I was mesmerized and disgusted. Not because they were two men together, but because I wanted to be John, and it was fucking with my head. Matt and I locked eyes that night, and I swore not to allow myself to develop any type of feelings for him.
Tough luck. I’m horny for him and don’t know what to do about it. I could go next door, grab him and kiss him, but there are a few problems about that. One of them being that Lindsey is upstairs, and knowing her, she probably spied on us while we were talking. If she did see us, she’ll go to my father and tell him I kissed a man, and it’ll start a shit storm of drama that I’m not ready to deal with. The second problem is that even though Matt is flirting like crazy with me, I’m not sure how he feels toward me. For all I know, he could hate me and just does it to spite me. It used to work, but now I’m just giving in and ready to see what, if anything could happen. Lastly, I’m not sure how I would feel after kissing him. Would I have a clearer mind or would I be more confused? Would I regret kissing him and make things even more awkward?
“Get a fucking grip, Nate,” I whisper to myself and push from the door. I’m not sure how to feel about all of this. All I know is that I have to deal with the crazy woman upstairs.
I walk up the stairs and see her lying on my bed, crying her eyes out. I see red upon seeing the mess she created in my room. She threw some of my most prized possessions against the wall, like my first tattoo gun and a frame with my first flash tattoo sheet I ever drew, as well as my military tags and badges. Besides the frame, nothing broke, but it’s the fact that she’s wanting to destroy what is most valuable to me because I don’t want her that has me fucking enraged. Despite me hating the fact that I was forced to join the military, it was the time I was the most content with my life because I was away from the cause of my daily struggle in life.
“Get out,” I say, my voice tight.
“Baby, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. Get out now before I lose my shit.” I glare at her and pick up my tags.
“I didn’t mean to do th-”
“Get. Out. NOW!” I yell at her, and she cowers away from me. Good. Maybe she’ll finally get the message.
“I love you,” she says in her little voice, but I don’t buy it. She knew exactly what she was doing. She hasn’t been crying long either. Her eyes aren’t red, nor is her nose. It’s all for show, and I’ve had enough of her bullshit. I can’t end it now or I’ll end up saying or doing something I’d regret. I’m not a violent man, but she keeps pushing her luck every single fucking day.
“Lindsey.” I stop her. She turns around, looking hopeful. “Give me my key back.” I hold my hand out, and she snarls at me. She reaches into her pocket and slams it in my hand.
“You can expect a call from your father tomorrow,” she spits at me and rushes downstairs.
“I know.” I blow out a breath and go after her to lock up. I hope she doesn’t have another spare key.
I put the leftover food in a container and put it in the freezer before grabbing some leftover pizza
and heat it up. While it does, I clean up the dishes and turn on some music and remember to put it on low so I don’t disturb Matt. I wish I could blast some loud classic rock, but the last thing I want is to have Matt annoyed with me. One person for today is enough.
I eat my pizza and go to bed earlier than I usually would. I just want to forget about today…
Today is a new day, but last night’s talk with Nate is still playing on my mind. Who knew he was sexually curious about men? I guess it’s a common thing nowadays for men to be curious about how it would feel to be with a man, but I never suspected him to feel that way. I always thought he was the typical alpha man who can’t deal with a bit of flirting with another man, but he didn’t seem so against it last night.
I was half joking when I offered him a spot in my bed if he needed it, but for some reason, if it were to happen, I wouldn’t want it to be just a one-night thing. I mean he’s annoying just because he’s loud and screams randomly in the middle of the night, but I could forget about that very quickly. The man is sex on freaking legs. Tall, he towers over me and I’m six feet; short sandy blond hair, blue eyes, full lips, a bit of stubble, lean muscles, tattoos, thick thighs–just what I really like in a man. He just has something about him, a presence. From the little I know of him, he’s not very confident, but he screams confidence and power when you’re in the same room as him. As long as you aren’t a man and hit on him, then he goes all shy on you, but that’s another thing I really like about him.
Then there’s his girlfriend. She is one hell of a whiney bitch, worse than Gabby who could rival any of those socialites who are famous for no apparent reasons. I’m not going to name names, you know damn well who I’m talking about. I seriously wonder what the hell Nate is doing with her. She must have some secret skill to be able to keep him locked up tight.
After I had left last night, they exchanged some words and he kicked her out. I’m not sure if they ended things on good terms, but I’m glad he got rid of her. I’m not the jealous type, but I would have been after seeing his fine body, damn those abs. I guess I’ll figure out how things ended if he’s at the shop this morning after my interview with his boss.
Normally I’d do the interview on the opening night, but from what Tyler said, it’s going to be crazy busy. They have something special planned, so I figured getting a head start and just have a quick word with him on the day of the opening would be as good. Besides, when I go to an opening party, I want to have fun and not spend my night harassing people with my questions and shoving my camera in their face.
Switching my usual designer suit for a casual outfit isn’t something I do nearly enough, but I don’t think a Calvin Klein suit would be the appropriate attire for today. I’d look stuck up to go interview the owner of a tattoo shop dressed like that.
I put on black jeans that hug my ass perfectly—according to Haven and Jessica, a black vest top, and my trusted flannel shirt. I don’t wear it enough. I’m usually in smart clothes, but I feel the need for change. I don’t know why but upon looking at myself in my full-length mirror, I really enjoy this outfit. I complete it with a pair of black hi-top Converse, my leather jacket, and my black glasses. I’m too tired to wear my contact lenses today, and the frames finish my outfit perfectly.
Yes, I realize it makes me look like a hipster, but a fucking hot one.
I get my phone and tablet from my nightstand and put them in an old leather backpack I’ve had since high school. I could invest in a new one, but this bag has been with me pretty much everywhere. It’s like my lucky charm.
Taking too long to pick my outfit isn’t anything new to me, but that means I have to skip breakfast. I grab a protein bar and make a coffee to go before heading out the door. I don’t want to be late. I hate being late. It gives a bad image not only of myself but of the magazine.
I unlock the front door and get in my car. One quick glance over to Nate’s house and I see his perfect shirtless torso pacing in front of the window of what I’m assuming is his office. He seems to be in a bad mood. Probably picking up whatever bitchzilla was throwing last night. I hope he got rid of her ass, if not for me to have a go at him, but for his own peace of mind.
I smirk to myself and back out of the driveway.
Time to conquer the world, or tackle down another interview. However you want to see it.
I connect my phone to the console and put on my favorite playlist. It’s an eclectic mix of dancehall, R-n-B, rock, and pop. I don’t care about what genre of music it is, as long as it’s listenable and you can dance and sing along.
Half an hour later, I miraculously find a parking spot just down the street from the tattoo shop. Today is going to be a good day. It’s so hard to find a parking spot in downtown Denver that I see it as a good omen for the day.
I grab my backpack from the seat next to me and get out of the car. I lock it up and make my way to the shop.
I’m five minutes early, but Mina and the shop owner, Tyler, are already busy inside. I walk in, and they both turn to me.
“Wow, that style suits you a lot better.” Mina widely grins at me.
“Why, thank you, gorgeous.” I wink at her.
“You must be Matt, you’re here for the interview, right?” Tyler extends his hand to me, and I shake it.
“That’d be me. Need a hand.” I motion to the frames he was hanging up when I walked in.
“Just tell me if it’s wonky.” He climbs onto a ladder, and I pass him the frame and take a step back. Whoever drew those flash designs is talented. I’m not one to go for them, but they are unique.
“A bit to the left.” I stand next to Mina, and we both tilt our head to the right.
“Better?” He moves the frame and looks back at us.
“Perfect.” I set my bag down and take off my leather jacket. I’m all about style, but it’s way too hot in here to keep it on. “Around what time does Nate usually comes in?” I ask Mina.
“He’s already here,” a voice says from behind me, scaring me to death.
“Are you trying to kill me?” I hold my hand to my chest willing my heart to slow down, but it’s not due to the fact that he scared me that my heart is racing. He looks fucking hot today, hotter than usual. He’s usually wearing baggy clothes, but today they are hugging his muscles perfectly, showcasing his amazing body.
“Not particularly, no. Had a good night?” He smirks looking at me as he walks past me, and I do the usual head tilt to check his ass. No shame even if I’m supposed to be interviewing his boss.
“After all the yelling died down, yes. And you?”
“Not too bad after I kicked her out.” He chuckles.
“About time!” Mina exclaims.
“Let’s not ruin this good day,” he says as he disappears in the back of the shop, to his station I’m assuming.
“Are you ready to start or do you want to follow him for a quickie?” Tyler asks highly amused.
“Well…”
“Don’t even go there, Tyler! He’ll say yes,” Nate shouts from wherever he is.
“Let’s get started then.” We all chuckle and go to Tyler’s station.
Two hours later and I’m done with the interview. It was actually quite fun to get in the head of a tattoo artist. I never spend much time chatting with my usual tattoo artist and get to know him, but it gave me a different insight of their daily life and the ins and outs of opening a new shop.
It’s the second Smash Monkey tattoo parlor there is in Denver. The other one is not in the new city center, hence why he opened one here. Considering they already have a year’s worth of waiting list to get tattooed by their four artists from this shop, I’d say it’ll be doing well.
I pack up my stuff and walk out of Tyler’s station. Walking past Nate’s station to go back to the main part of the shop, I can’t help but look in. He looks sullen sitting there, by himself, drawing.
“You alright?” I ask, thinking I’ll startle him, but nope, the fucker seemed to know I was t
here.
“I’ll be fine.” He looks up at me.
“How did you know I was here? Could smell my cologne?” I wink at him.
“Ex-military. I’ve been trained to know when someone is around me at all times. Although you do smell nice.” He gives me a hint of a smile.
“Makes sense, and I can suggest a few names that’d be perfect for you.”
“Are you trying to hint that I reek?” He chuckles.
“No, you smell of fresh clothes and freshly showered man. I like that.” I put my bag down and walk to the table he’s drawing on.
“Glad you think so.” He hands me two pieces of paper, and I put them side by side on the table he uses to tattoo people and it looks amazing. He’s been working on the Japanese themed tattoo I booked with him.
“This looks amazing.” I take in the different flowers, the koi fish, the geisha he has set up to match the rest of my leg and connect it to the dragon wrapping around my calf.
“It’ll need some tweaking when I get it on your leg, but I figured I’d get a head start and see what you wanted so you don’t end up hating me and slate my work in your magazine.” He stands next to me, our shoulders touching.
“I told you to go for what you think would fit with the rest of my leg. Even though you’re an ass, I trust your tattooing skills. And unless you do a shit job with the actual tattoo, I won’t slate you. I’m not like that.” I look at him, and he nods. If I listened to myself, I’d grab his face and kiss the shit out of him, but considering he probably has never done anything with a man, I don’t want to traumatize him.
“I know you’re not.” He looks between my eyes and my lips as if he’s actually debating the same thing as me. Sadly, he sighs and takes a step back.
“You alright?” I sit on the table, and he resumes his position on his stool.
“No.” I can tell it’s hard for him to confess that he’s not okay.
“What’s wrong?”
Love at First Hate Page 5