Love at First Hate

by Muriel Garcia

“Really?” She sounds happy about it.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Brilliant! That means I can hang out with my new friends a lot more and it’ll be easier for classes and just in general.” She claps excitedly.

  “Aren’t you living on campus?” I’m confused now, why is she so happy about it?

  “Yeah…”

  “So? Why would it be easier?”

  “Because then I’m not stuck with Robert paying for my dorm, and since I have my college tuition, I don’t have to actually be in touch with him.”

  “Did something happen while I was gone?” I’m expecting the worst.

  “Yeah, but I really don’t want to talk about it now. Matt knows, he’s the one who helped me. He’ll tell you. Just enjoy being with him again.” She hugs me tightly. “I love you, bro.”

  “Love you too, Maddie.” I kiss her head and let go of her as she, Jessica, and Haven bounce to the dance floor, shouting the lyrics to the song loudly.

  “Finally she’s found a new victim to go on the dance floor with her.” Matt chuckles as he wraps his arm around my shoulder and playfully bites my neck.

  “I know. I was watching you two for a while.” I chuckle.

  “You were huh?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t like that guy hitting on you.”

  “Jealous?” He smirks.

  “I’m not jealous, I’m territorial. I’m protecting what’s mine and you, Matt. You. Are. Mine. And I’m never ever letting you go again.” I kiss him passionately, holding him close to me.

  “I’m so glad you’re not afraid of PDA anymore.”

  “I’m adapting to it with you.” I smile, and he kisses me again.

  We stay in this embrace for a while, just happy to be with each other again; laughing at the show the girls are putting on for us.

  “You two should come dancing,” Haven whines.

  “No chance.” I laugh at her pout.

  “We’re going to head home anyway. Are you ready for me to drive you back home?” Matt asks her, and she groans.

  “No! I’m having fun. Don’t spoil it for me.”

  “I can drive your car if you want. I haven’t had a drink. I’m a good driver, you can ask Nate,” Maddie tells Matt.

  “We can all crash at mine. I live the closest to here and next door to Valentine so he can check on us when he gets home.” It’s Jessica’s turn to give Matt an explanation as to why he should leave Haven in their hands.

  “I’ll make sure they get home safely. I’ll leave at the same time as they do.” It’s Valentine’s turn to chime in, and I can’t help but laugh.

  “If anything happens to my car or Haven, you’re all dead.” He glares at all of them playfully and hands Maddie his car keys.

  “Thank you. You won’t regret it.” Maddie jumps in his arms and kisses his cheek over and over.

  “Alright, alright. Calm down.” He laughs and puts her down.

  “Have fun, you two,” Haven says waggling her eyebrows.

  “We will.” Matt winks at her and hugs her.

  We say our goodbyes to everybody and not two steps away from them, we see John, walking toward us with a sour expression on his face.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” he says to Matt and glares at me.

  “What do you want, John?” Matt asks him sounding exasperated.

  “I want you, baby.” He takes a step toward him and places his hand on Matt’s chest.

  “Tough luck. Not gonna happen.”

  “We had something good together. You can’t throw that away!”

  “You should have thought of that when you became an over controlling bastard and fucked a woman.”

  “It was a mistake. I told you already. Now stop being a little bitch and come home with me. I’ve missed you, and I can forgive you for fucking that guy. I know it was just rebound sex. I won’t hold it against you,” John says in a heated voice.

  “You’re funny, John, but that’s not going to happen. I do not love you. Come to think of it, I never loved you. I never was in love with you. You were tracking my every move, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was going to break up with you the night I saw you with that blonde girl. You just made it easy by fucking her. There are absolutely zero chances of us ever getting back together, so stop trying to make it happen. I do not want to see you again,” Matt tells John calmly, and I’m proud of him that he’s able to keep his calm. I know I’d have gone bat shit crazy on him.

  “I don’t care what you’re saying or thinking, Matthew. We are getting back together. Whether you like it or not,” John spits at him and grabs Matt’s arm. I’m ready to step in, but Matt withdraws his arm and swings at John. One punch is all it takes to knock John out.

  Security quickly steps in, as well as Valentine. He ushers us out through the back exit.

  “I can’t believe what he was doing,” I huff as we get into my car.

  “I’m not surprised. He’s always been a controlling asshole. He didn’t change one bit.” Matt sighs as he gets in the car.

  “Remind me never to piss you off. You knocked him right out.” I can’t help but laugh.

  “Good, now you’ll know not to mess with me again.” Matt squeezes my thigh.

  “Sorry again. I really didn’t mean to hurt you. I really had to be away for a while.”

  “Why, though?” By now, he still hasn’t seen my face, and I’m afraid of his reaction once he sees it.

  “It’s a long story. Can it wait until we make it home?” I ask him as I stop at a street light.

  “Really?” He sighs, losing his patience.

  “Alright, you asked for it.” I turn on the overhead light, and he sees the state of my face.

  “What the fuck happened to you?” he shouts, nearly deafening me.

  “Robert happened.” I turn the light off and start driving again.

  “I’ll wait until we’re home, but you better tell me everything. No more hiding the truth.”

  “I promise, I’ll tell you everything. I don’t want to hide anything from you, and I wasn’t. I’ve learned so much these past couple of days. It was a lot to take in.”

  “Alright, babe.”

  We drive the rest of the way home in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence for once. It gave me the time to collect my thoughts and gather up the courage to tell him everything.

  Twenty minutes later, and we’re inside Matt’s house. He’s getting us drinks, and I’m sitting on the couch, my nerves building up.

  “Relax. I’m not going to eat you.”

  “Shame.” I chuckle nervously and take a sip of the beer.

  “We’ll save that for later. So care to tell me what happened to you?” he asks, squeezing my hand. And I tell him everything. About my mom, Robert, what he did, what he was forced to do and why. The fact that he’s gay and repressed it all of his life, why he made me pay for it, and for standing up for myself. What I’ve been doing, and where I’ve been these past two weeks. How memories of Robert beating me when I was younger came back; I don’t hold anything back. I want us to start with a clean slate and be able to be happy together and start fresh.

  My tears fall freely. I’m crying for the kid who never stood a chance to be accepted by his family. Who had to be someone else because being himself wasn’t acceptable. I’m crying for the teenager who was beaten because of the way he felt and whom he had feelings for. For what Robert put my siblings through, making them miserable just to cover up what he started by raping my mom.

  All the rage and hate I have built up inside of me for the past thirty years is coming out through those tears.

  Sometimes it takes you losing something to realize how much good it actually did for you.

  That’s what I realized when Nate wasn’t around. Despite the physical attraction and connection, we have something that goes so much deeper. It was crushing me to be away from him. I wish I could have been there for him, to help him through the struggle and heartache he was going through. Finding out
so much fucked up shit in one day can’t be good for anybody.

  Nate, my poor Nate. I feel for him.

  It’s horrible what he was put through and found out about his family. I can’t believe one person is capable of so much evil toward the people he’s supposed to love, his own children. Why get someone pregnant over and over if you don’t want kids? It makes no sense to me or to Nate.

  I wasn’t sure how I would feel when he showed back up in my life. He did leave me when he said he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t talk to me about what happened, and I was mad at him. Turns out, I was madder at myself than at him for what I put the both of us through, and I couldn’t hold it against him. I couldn’t be mad at him. The little will power I have to stay away from Nate quickly vanished when he kissed me and held me. I’m home, and I don’t ever want to leave.

  No matter what anyone puts us through, I’ll be there for him, and we’ll stand strong together.

  We moved to the bedroom an hour ago. I wanted him to be able to relax and feel comfortable and fall asleep if he wanted to as he was pouring his heart out. I was holding him, trying to comfort him the best I could.

  Just being together did him good I think. He was on his own for most of two weeks; it’s bound to have some effect on your emotional state.

  To my surprise, as I’m holding Nate, he places his hand on my cock, feeling it, rubbing it and getting it hard through my pants. I’m quite shocked by this sudden change, but I welcome it with open arms. His fingers trail the shape of it through the fabric. I can feel it grow, and the fabric is slowly restricting it.

  Returning the favor, I stroke him through his jeans. I undo his belt with my other hand and pull down his pants and boxers in one move.

  He captures my lips in a heated kiss as he lowers my jeans and boxers. We don’t lose any time and start stroking each other, skin to skin this time. His warm, rough hands giving just the right amount of friction needed.

  Nate gets down to his knees and wraps his warm lips around the tip of my cock, sucking it expertly. I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my lips, nor do I want to. He flicks his tongue over the piercing that goes through the tip of my cock, gently pulling on it with his teeth.

  “Fuck.” A low groan comes from deep inside of me as I feel my dick twitch.

  His warm lips go all the way down my length. When he reaches the tip, he swirls his tongue around the tip. I stroke his hair and neck. He looks up at me with hunger in his eyes. I place my hands on either side of his head and go deep inside his throat. Not staying down long enough to cause him any discomfort but long enough to make me feel like I’m going to explode every single time. He eats me hungrily as my balls hit his chin with every move. If I don’t put a stop to this, we won’t get to play for long. I’m ready to bust already.

  I make him lie down on his back before I get my turn with him. I lick all around his dick, feeling him harden with each swipe of my tongue. Taking him delicately in my mouth, I start with soft sucks. Each time I take him deeper. If I go by his erratic moans, he’s enjoying this as much as I am.

  To vary the pleasures, I take him out of my mouth and lick my way down his cock, to his balls and take each one, in turn, in my mouth and suck on them. Nate moans and breathes quickly, his body trembling with anticipation.

  I look up at him, and our gazes cross. He’s enjoying the show, his eyes focused on me.

  “I wanna try something, babe,” he says and helps me up.

  “What’s that?” I get up and let him help me to bed.

  “You’ll see.” He lies on his back and motions for me to come on top of him. I comply and crawl to him. “Other way, babe.” He smirks.

  “Interesting choice.” I smirk and do as he asks, positioning my dick over his mouth.

  His lips wrap instantly around my cock as I lick from the tip of his cock to the base. I tease his balls, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin before licking my way back to the tip of his cock and taking it between my lips, sucking on it hard. I can feel Nate shiver under my tongue.

  It’s hard to focus on his cock when his lips are torturing my dick. It’s hard to concentrate on both at the same time.

  A pure moment of bliss. We are in total osmose. I’m so glad he suggested we try this. This is literally mind-blowing.

  Too soon, he moves me out of the way and gets on his hands and knees in front of me. I caress his bare ass, grabbing each cheek and squeezing them. I want to feel him wrapped around me.

  He grabs a condom and lube from the nightstand and makes quick work of rolling it down on my hard cock. I grab the lube and drip some gel against his ass.

  Heat courses through me; I can’t wait to make Nate mine again. That moment where desire and the need for pleasure make one. I position myself behind him and gently press my cock against his hole. Gently at first then with a firm push, the tip penetrates him as I push into him, giving him time to adjust to my size. I fill him perfectly as I roll my hips into him.

  I thrust into Nate long and slow. This is not raw sex as we usually have. This is a lot more passionate. This is us becoming one.

  Caressing down his arms, I link our fingers as I lean over him and squeeze our hands as I gently nibble on his neck. The various array of sensation makes my body shiver and want more. So much more.

  He must have felt it as he starts moving back into me, making me quicken the pace and the power of my thrusts, taking him harder and deeper with each one.

  Letting go of his hands and kissing his neck down his back, I sit on my feet and pull his ass up as I start to fuck him harder and deeper. My hold on his hips tightens as he moves to meet my thrusts, making me go as deep as can be.

  After a couple more thrusts, I groan loudly and bite on his shoulder as I come into the condom, my thrusts as ragged as my breath. I pull out of him and roll him on his back as I start to suck him, willing him to come. It doesn’t take long before he comes on my face and in my mouth.

  We look at each other, well spent and feeling like nothing went wrong between us. It’s like we’re back to the beginning, and I hope it stays that way.

  We move to the shower and wash each other, taking extra attention to please each other. We have another round in the shower before heading to bed to fall asleep, happily together again.

  June 24, 2016

  Friday

  Things have been a lot better between Matt and I since I came back. We’ve been back to our normal selves, being happy and loving each other. We spend most of our time at his place as Maddie is staying at mine. She couldn’t be any happier to be away from what represented the last hold Robert had on her, at least for now. Neither of us has heard from him, and it’s a welcoming break from the drama we’ve been used to.

  It’s Matt’s birthday today, and he has no idea of what I have planned.

  Slowly, making sure I don’t wake him just yet, I slip my hands under the sheets and take hold of his cock and balls gently. I tenderly stroke him, and he groans in his sleep but doesn’t wake up. I remove the sheet fully, exposing his perfect body and already hard cock.

  Kneeling down on the bed, on top of him, I tease him with my tongue before taking the tip of his cock in my mouth. He groans again as I start to suck him. Slowly at first, but I quickly pick up the pace. I want to blow his mind; well, and his cock.

  I feel him wake slowly, and I look up. He gives me his warm, sleepy smile and strokes my cheek.

  I take him as far as it’ll go in my mouth as I hold the base of his cock with my right hand. My left hand is teasing the soft spot just under his balls. He gasps and holds his breath for a second before letting out a long moan as I take him all the way down.

  He cradles my head with his hands and guides me up and down his cock at the pace he wants. I don’t mind it at all. It’s all about bringing him pleasure today, and if I’m honest, I’m getting a kick out of him taking control too.

  It doesn’t take long for him to come in my mouth, and he longingly moans my name. He holds my head against his
cock as I swallow every last drop. He slowly lets go of my head and lets out a long groan of blissful pleasure.

  “Happy birthday, love.” I chuckle at the content expression on his face.

  “Best birthday ever.” He tugs on my arm, making me fall on top of him and leans us back on the pillows.

  Matt was in for a treat this morning. After I woke him up sucking him off, we went for breakfast at his favorite breakfast spot, and we’ve been to the lake for a picnic. We then came back home and had some more fun involving a lot of sucking, a lot of licking—cake and fucking. It was an afternoon well spent, and considering the permanent smile on Matt’s face, I’d say it was good for him too.

  It’s impossible to get a party ready for Matt without him figuring out what we’re doing. He’s good with knowing when we’re up to something, so we’re just going to dinner with Spencer and Haven. Or so he thinks.

  His family and our friends are all going to be at the Vault. We just wanted to throw him off just because he’s tried to ruin our plans so many times. Valentine closed off the top level of the club just for Matt’s friends and family. Hopefully, he’ll enjoy it.

  We’re just about to get to Panzano. It’s our favorite spot, and it’ll bring back memories of our first date.

  “I can’t believe it was just five months ago since you asked me on a date through that app,” Matt chuckles.

  “I know. I still can’t believe I did it.”

  “Nor me. It was funny and touching when you messaged me, and I noticed it was you.” He smiles fondly as I park in the street.

  “Did you really know straightaway it was me?” I pout.

  “Yeah, your chest tats gave you away.” He sniggers.

  “Damnit. And here I thought I was being subtle.”

  “Sorry, love. You were anything but subtle. I did find it very touching that you went through the trouble of making an account for that app and looking me up. That’s what started it all. I mean, we were really close before that already, but that’s the step that made me know you wanted me as much as I wanted you.”

  “You wanted me, huh?”

  “Yeah, since the first time I saw you even though you were a cocky, annoying bastard back then,” he scoffs.