Quinn
THE GODDAMNED WOMAN was infuriating.
I came over to get some answers, and instead of even looking at me, she was hitting buttons on her fucking remote like I wasn’t even there. Like I hadn’t just spent the past two and a half hours pacing my house after dropping Sophia off at her slumber party, trying to calm myself down without any success.
“You mind?” My voice came out more of a growl, but it was taking everything I had not to go all caveman on her ass and toss her over my shoulder, tying her to the bed until she finally listened.
“Not at all,” she replied casually, waving her wine glass through the air. “Carry on like you intended. I’ll just pretend you’re not even here.”
“How much wine have you had?”
“Not enough to put up with you. That’s for goddamned sure.”
With that, I’d had enough. “For Christ’s sake, Lilly!” I barked. “Will you fucking look at me?”
“No thanks.”
And I snapped. Snatching the remote from her hand, I powered the TV off and shoved it into the pocket of my jeans. If she wanted it, she could come get it. And I couldn’t lie, the idea of her digging around in my jeans held a hell of a lot of appeal.
“Hey! I was watching that!”
“And now you’re not. Start talking.”
She shoved up from the couch and got in my face. “Start talking? Have you lost your mind?!” Christ, she was something else. How I ever thought, for even a second, that she was anything like Addy was beyond me. She was harsh where Addy was soft, argumentative where my wife was compliant, loud when my Addison was quiet. She pushed back. That was something Addison had only ever done once… right before she died. They couldn’t have possibly been more different. But in spite of that — maybe even because of that — I was unbelievably attracted to the woman. It was that attraction that scared the living shit out of me. It was unlike anything I’d felt before, even for my wife, who’d been the love of my life. It was why I pushed Lilly away, causing her pain that I felt down to my very bones. But something in me had snapped tonight, and despite the fear, I couldn’t make myself stay away.
“You show up at my house, force your way in after being a complete dick earlier today, and you have the nerve to bark orders at me? You’ve got to be kidding!”
“And you let some fucking guy put his hands all over you right in front of me!” I shouted back.
“Oh my God,” she laughed in bewilderment, as she raked her hands through her long, silky hair and took a step back. “You have. You’ve totally lost your mind.”
I couldn’t have stopped myself from moving toward her if I tried. The more I got to know Lilly, the more that tether, that unseen force I felt between us grew stronger. I couldn’t not touch her.
“Wait,” she paused, holding her hand up to stop me. “Where’s Sophia?”
That one simple question hit me in a place inside I’d long thought dead. The fact we were in the middle of an argument, the fire inside her raging as strong as always, and she stopped everything out of concern for my daughter? I felt that in a way I had never wanted to feel again. And it made me lose all control.
My voice came out in a growl as I stalked toward her. “At a sleepover.”
Lilly
OH GOD.
There was no denying it. In that very moment, Quinn was the predator and I was his prey. And how I wanted him to devour me.
But self-preservation kicked in before I could do what I wanted and lose myself in him completely, because no matter how badly I craved this man, in the back of my mind I knew it was only a matter of time before he did something else to hurt me, to push me away and keep me at arms length.
And I was tired of being hurt.
“Quinn, stop,” I demanded, but judging by the feral look in his eyes, he was beyond reason as he continued to move. My hands hit his chest at the same time the fire in my blood ignited. “Who the hell do you think you are, huh?” I shouted, slamming my palms against his chest. “Who the hell do you think you are?! You treat me like shit over and over and over, drive me crazy with your fucking mood swings, and you think you have the right to come in here and make demands? Screw you, Quinn! I’m tired of letting you make me feel bad about myself.” I laughed without humor again, because the longer he stood there, so close, the more hysterical I began to feel. “And you know what? It’s all my fault! Because I actually want to be your friend.” I punctuated the statement with another smack to his chest. “How stupid is that? Because on the rare occasion you aren’t a jerk, I actually like being around you. I’m not so damn lonely all the time.”
“Lilly—”
But I wasn’t even close to finished. It was like the dam had broken, and I couldn’t hold it back any longer. I was now ranting, and even though I was pretty sure I wasn’t making any sense, I couldn’t stop. “I’m just so damn tired of not having someone to talk to, you know? I thought I could talk to you, but every time I think I’m getting close, you push me away again. I just…” My voice dropped to a whisper as the fight began to drain out of me. “I’m so tired of feeling alone.”
I dropped my head, unable to meet his eyes as I fought back the tears. I wished he would just leave. No matter how much I was drawn to him, no matter the connection I thought I felt between us, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I just needed space.
But apparently he wasn’t having that. With his thumb, he put pressure under my chin and forced my face up. “I’m sorry,” he whispered reverently. “I’m sorry.” I could hear the sincerity laced around those two words. My breath stalled when his eyes traveled down to my lips and the green grew dark.
I licked my lips as my body started to shake, responding to that one simple look. “Q-Quinn…” I stuttered as I moved back. “What are you—?”
He cut me off with a curt, “What I’ve been dying to do for way too fucking long.” Then, before I could pull in a full breath, his mouth was on mine in a fierce, hungry kiss that made every bone in my body go weak on impact.
My lips parted on a startled gasp and he took that as an opportunity to dive in. His tongue wrapped around mine as his hands grabbed hold of my hips and molded my body to his. I was so consumed by him, his smell, his taste, the way he touched me, that I hadn’t even noticed we were moving until the backs of my knees hit the couch and I was going down.
Quinn was like a man possessed, touching wherever he could, and I couldn’t get enough. My brain was on sensory overload, unable to process anything other than his hands on my body or his lips against mine. My legs spread, almost of their own accord, cradling his narrow hips between them as I tangled my fingers into that mass of sandy blond hair, pulling him impossibly closer. I could feel his hard length through the denim of his jeans, and when he rolled his hips, hitting that sensitive spot that ached for him, I had to tear my mouth away on a wanton moan.
One hand skated up my side, over the material of my thin sweater until he cupped one heavy breast in his large hand, causing a whole new flood of arousal to rush through me.
“God damn,” he groaned, trailing his teeth along the cord in my neck. “You feel even better than I imagined.”
Hearing his gruff, lust-filled voice helped to clear some of the fog from my brain. Untangling my hands from his hair, I set them on his shoulders and gave a soft push. “Wait, wait, wait. Quinn, wait.”
This time his groan was pained as he dropped his forehead to my shoulder and hissed, “Fuck.”
“What...” My body shook with want as he remained on top of me, but what I was thinking had to be said. “What are we doing?”
There were several tense seconds of silence. Only our labored breathing filled my living room before he finally sighed heavily against my neck. I could have sworn I heard regret in his tone as he whispered, “I don’t know.”
My heart sank just a bit, even though my body protested against stopping what we’d just started. My feelings for Quinn had been growing out of control the past few w
eeks, and to have him kiss me like he did, have him touch me like he couldn’t keep his hands off me, it had given a glimmer of hope that the words he’d just spoken extinguished.
I opened my mouth, to say what, I didn’t know, but before I could form any words, his head lifted and those green eyes, so full of lust, landed on me. “But whatever it is, I’m tired of fighting it. So fucking tired, Lilly. I don’t want to think.” He punctuated the sentence with another sinful roll of his hips that stole a whimper from deep in my throat. “I don’t want to stop. I’ve been out of my mind, wanting you. Staying away is too hard. I can’t do it anymore.”
I knew I should have said more, should have forced him out of my apartment for my own peace of mind. I knew I was just asking for my heart to be broken. But rational thinking had flown out the window. I wanted him just as badly as he wanted me, maybe more because all I wanted to do was hold him close while he used every opportunity to push me away.
The smart thing to do would have been to tell him to leave, close the door in his face, and spare myself the pain that was inevitable. But damn it, I just couldn’t bring myself to do the smart thing. Ever since I found out my father was dying I’d felt more alone than ever. The only times in the past month the loneliness had been bearable was when I was with Quinn. I wanted to feel more of that. And for that reason, instead of kicking him out, I found myself whispering, “Take me to bed.”
Lilly
HE DIDN’T HAVE to be told twice. Once again, his lips fused with mine and I was lost. My arms and legs wrapped around Quinn’s muscular body as he stood from the couch and made his way down the hall toward my bedroom. We didn’t break contact until he dropped me onto the mattress. Reaching for the waistband, he pulled my leggings and panties down in one quick swoop. Sitting up, not wanting to delay feeling him inside me, I pulled my sweater over my head and unclasped my bra, letting the straps fall down my arms and exposing myself to him completely. Before there was a chance for self-consciousness to kick in, he reached behind his neck and yanked his shirt over his head, giving me my first glimpse of all that toned, well-defined muscle.
“Oh my god,” I sighed, reaching out with both hands to trace the lines of his abs, counting eight in total before leading to that delicious V that dipped into his jeans.
Quinn toed off his boots and socks while I worked the fly of his jeans, desperate to get to where that V ended. Never in my life had I been so consumed with the need to touch and be touched. I wanted him in a way I’d never wanted another man in my life.
As soon as I had his zipper down, I grabbed hold of the waistband and jerked his pants down. His hard cock sprang free, thick and straining. I wasn’t a virgin, not by a long shot, but the sight of Quinn in all his glory took my breath away. I’d never seen anything so perfect, so beautiful, in my life. The desire to taste him had me licking my lips just before I bent my head and ran my tongue along the very tip of his erection.
“Oh, Christ,” he grunted. His hips jerked and I opened my mouth to suck more of him inside, wrapping my fingers around the base as I began to move my head. “Fuck, baby, stop. You have to stop.” He pulled back and I was hit with a sudden wave of self-consciousness. I’d never been a fan of giving blowjobs before, but I wanted to please Quinn in a way I’d never experienced. And having him pull back left me feeling bereft and embarrassed.
I moved to cover my naked breasts. “Did I…” I swallowed thickly. “Did I do it wrong?”
“What? No. Fuck, no.” He leaned over me until I was forced to lay back, then he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head. “It was amazing. Too amazing. If I let you continue, I was going to come in your mouth, and that’s not what I want.”
A shiver worked through my body as the throb between my legs deepened. “Wh-what do you want, then?”
His mouth hovered over mine as his knees pushed my legs further apart. His cock nudged against my opening and I lifted my hips in an attempt to pull him closer. “Tell me you’re protected.”
It took me a few seconds to understand what he was saying, but when it finally registered, I nodded. “The pill.”
“I want to feel you. Nothing between us. You okay with that?”
Oh damn, I was more than okay with that. But I didn’t want this to be something he’d eventually regret. “Are you sure?” I asked. “I have condoms—”
My words were cut off, and I cried out in ecstasy as he sank himself inside me as deep as he could go. “So goddamned perfect,” he gritted, as he pulled out and thrust back in, filling me so completely. I felt him everywhere as he moved over me, inside me. I whimpered and struggled, trying to free my hands from his unrelenting grasp as every powerful drive of his hips brought me closer to my release.
“Quinn,” I moaned, as his cock hit the perfect spot inside of me. “Let me touch you. Please.”
His fingers tightened around my wrists as he shoved my hands deeper into the mattress. “You feel me, baby?”
“Yes,” I gasped. “Please, let me touch you.”
“You’re all I’ve been able to think about,” he grunted, picking up his pace, moving so hard and fast my body shifted across the bed every time he pushed back in. “Tell me you’ve been thinking about me.”
“All the time,” I admitted.
His forehead dropped to my shoulder. “Thank God.” He finally released my hands at the same time every cell in my body exploded. My legs clamped around his waist and my nails dug into his shoulders as I lost all control. Everything inside me tightened until it snapped, and my head shot back as I cried out with the most intense orgasm of my life. I was still riding the high when Quinn buried himself to the hilt and groaned my name against my neck.
Tiny shockwaves of pleasure sparked through me as I felt his cock twitch with the last of his release. Minutes later, we were both breathing heavy and unable to move. I kept my hold on him, afraid that if I let go he’d somehow disappear.
My bones felt like rubber as exhaustion began to envelop me, and the last thing I remembered before sleep took over, was Quinn shifting his weight and turning us both so that his back was to my chest. And then everything went black.
WHEN I WOKE up the early morning sun was just beginning to filter through the slats in my blinds, painting my room in pale shades of gray and pink. It took several seconds for the disorientation of sleep to wear off, and once it did I realized I wasn’t alone in my bed and images of the night before came flooding back. Quinn had shown up at my apartment. We fought. He kissed me. We had sex.
Shame began to seep from every pore, not because it wasn’t good. It had been nothing less than amazing. But because that one act could have possibly ruined the already rocky friendship we were working so hard to maintain. I knew him well enough to know that he’d more than likely wake up with regrets… regrets that would cause him to push me away indefinitely.
Squeezing my eyes closed as pain lanced through my chest, I bent my head on the pillow and did my best to talk myself out of the inevitable freak-out I felt stirring in the pit of my stomach. Just the thought of losing him completely killed.
When I opened my eyes once more, the glint of the sun hitting something caught my attention, and my chest seized. Quinn’s arm was wrapped firmly around my stomach, holding my back to his chest. Normally, waking up like that would have filled me with a riot of butterflies, but the sight of his ever-present wedding ring still on his left ring finger made my blood run cold.
Oh yeah, he was going to wake up with regrets. I was certain of it.
Needing to escape and collect my bearings for the blow I was about to face, I slowly lifted his hand and slid from the bed, keeping as quiet as possible so as not to wake him.
I crept from the room into the bathroom, refusing to allow myself to turn and look at the gorgeous man asleep in my bed. That would have just made it harder. I brushed my teeth, splashed water on my face, and slid my robe on to conceal my naked body. Then I moved to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I was going to need it i
f I had any hope of getting through this morning.
Quinn
THE STRONG AROMA of coffee invaded my senses and stirred me from the deepest sleep I’d had in years. I woke in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, but as soon as the subtle scent of Lilly’s perfume on the sheets hit me, my cock started to get hard.
Christ, last night had been… phenomenal. I kept my eyes closed, taking in the lingering smell of flowers as I slid my hand across the sheets in search of the woman who’d made me come so hard the night before, I’d seen stars. My eyelids snapped open when my hand hit nothing but air. A glance around showed that Lilly wasn’t even in the room.
Slipping from the bed, I snatched my jeans from the floor and slid them on, sans underwear. I didn’t even bother to button them as I started from the bedroom toward the kitchen. Reaching the end of the hall, I stopped at the sight of Lilly sitting quietly at her little dinette table. I had the perfect view of her profile, elbows on the table, a cup of coffee held between her hands. She wasn’t moving, just sitting perfectly still, a distant expression on her face, like she was deep in thought. There wasn’t even the slightest flinch in her frame that led me to believe she’d heard me moving around.
“Hey,” I spoke softly, coming up behind her and resting my hands on her shoulders. At my touch and the sound of my voice, she did a startled jump and let out a yelp as she spun in her chair, nearly dropping the coffee cup in the process. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
Setting the mug on the table, she brought one hand up and held it against her chest as if trying to hold her heart in place. “Jeez, Quinn. Are you a ninja or something? I didn’t even hear you enter the room.”
I chuckled as I pulled the chair next to her out and took a seat. “Well, I wasn’t really all that quiet.”
A Broken Soul (The Pembrooke Series Book 3) Page 13