Accidental Groupie: A Sweet Lesbian Romance

by Mia Archer

  She pulled out a perfectly folded top. Shook it out and her eyes went wide. It was so sheer as to almost be see-through.

  I shook my head. "No. No way!"

  "Come on!" Alice said. "This might be your only chance to meet Sleepwalker! Actual rock stars! And they all swing your way! Mostly. Okay so seventy-five percent of them…"

  I rolled my eyes. "No thank you. I don’t care if the girls in this band have model good looks. Doesn’t change the fact that they’re a washed up one trick pony who rode their ‘controversial’ gayness to the top of the charts and disappeared once the novelty wore off."

  Alice rolled her eyes in turn. "You have to at least act like you're having fun tonight! None of that crap. They’re a frickin’ band who plays music, not a political movement!"

  "Fine," I said. "That was the last jab. I promise!"

  "You'd better!"

  She tossed the sheer top down next to me. It was a tank top, but again it was so thin that it barely even deserved to be called clothing. Anyone would be able to see my bra under the thing. Not that I necessarily minded. I didn’t have the thing so it could sit in the bottom drawer adding to my dust collection, after all. It was just the circumstances tonight didn’t leave me feeling all that great about wearing it.

  We were going to be front row. I didn’t want any of the girls in Sleepwalker to look down at me and think I was some simpering groupie slutting it up for their pleasure. No way.

  At least I could wear something sensible under it. Maybe something dark that would blend in with the top. Definitely not something…

  Red. Lacy. Designed to draw every eye in the vicinity. Alice held the bra dangling from her fingers with a huge grin plastered on her face. A grin I wanted to smack off, but I fought the urge.

  "You've got to be kidding," I said.

  "You promised!" Alice said as she tossed the bra down beside me.

  “I promised to go to the concert. I didn't promise to go dressed like I’m about to hop onstage and do a pole dance!”

  “Well this is what you’re wearing. You’re not ruining my chances with Gareth with your frumpasaurus routine, and that’s that.”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to go with the flow. To give in. This evening would go a hell of a lot easier if I did.

  Besides, even if I was dressed like this it's not like any of the ladies in Sleepwalker would even notice me. Or have a chance in hell to get with me if by some miracle they did notice us from our perch in the front row.

  And so I found myself pulling on the sluttiest outfit I'd worn since we'd both graduated college and moved to the big city. Which wasn't that long ago, even if it did feel like an eternity!

  It's not like I was against getting dressed up. Far from it. It's just that I wasn't exactly a fan of getting dressed up for an event where I wasn't interested in attracting any of the ladies onstage.

  Hey, I might not agree with the band’s schtick personally, but I figured there were probably plenty of girls who swung my way and were the type to go to a Sleepwalker concert. Even if I ignored the ladies onstage, and the token dude, it was entirely possible I might find a little fun waiting for me in a crowd that promised to be one hell of a target rich environment for a lady who was into the ladies.

  And I was showing solidarity with my friend, even if there was no chance any rock star hands were going to be making their way up my skirt. I was sure that was what Alice was hoping for. Fantasy and reality were two very different unrelated things in her mind today.

  I looked at her and arched my eyebrow. "You're not going to redo my makeup?"

  "No," she said. "Your makeup is cute. It's the rest of your frumpasaurus outfit that was the real problem."

  I smiled and resisted the urge to reach out and smack my best friend. That would really put a damper on the evening before it started. Instead I reached out and took her hand.

  It was time for us to go out on the town. Tear it up like we hadn't since we both got full time real world jobs. As we walked out dressed to the nines my excitement was only slightly tempered by the knowledge we were going out to tear it up by seeing the biggest bad girl rock act in the world ten years ago.

  3: Poor Little Rich Girl

  Everything was blurry, but it was an unfamiliar blurry. It definitely wasn’t the view of the beach I was used to.

  Where the hell was I?

  I blinked and reality resolved around me showing my bed that ran the length of the tour bus. That was right. I was on the tour bus. Not as comfortable as the house overlooking the ocean, but then again that bed had felt unfamiliar back when we stopped touring and I started enjoying a less nomadic lifestyle.

  On instinct I rolled over and ran my arm along the side of the bed expecting to find some pretty young thing lying next to me. Only my arm hit nothing but sheets. Very comfortable and expensive sheets, to be sure, but I would’ve rather had the pretty something next to me than a high thread count.

  I grimaced. Right. That was another difference from when we used to go on tour. A difference because of a deliberate choice I’d made.

  No more. Never again. I wasn’t repeating the mistakes of the past in the present, damn it. Even if it did mean I didn’t have anyone to wake up next to in the morning.

  I checked my watch. Late afternoon. Late enough that there were probably already crowds gathered at a safe distance from the buses. Late enough that I should probably go ahead and make my first appearance of the evening. After I got ready.

  A half hour later I stepped off the bus and the screams started. I put on my sunglasses even though it was late enough in the afternoon and the surrounding buildings cast enough of a shadow that they weren’t strictly necessary. Rock Star 101. Don’t let them know which way you were looking.

  Plus with the hangover I was nursing even a little bit of light was enough to feel like someone was jamming ice picks into my eyes. I sighed and brushed some hair back over my shoulders. Made sure to stick the girls out enough to draw some attention. Might as well give all the lovely ladies over at the fence a little show.

  I nodded to Karen who was sitting in a folding chair reading a book. She looked up at me and grinned and then it was back to the book. Not that she was really needed with the fence doing the heavy lifting security-wise, but I’d seen what the woman could do and I was glad she was there even if she wasn’t needed right now.

  I looked over to the chain link fence separating the buses from our rabid fans with a fake smile plastered on my face. That fake smile almost turned to a grimace. Those buses were something else that was very different from the last time we were on tour.

  Back then we all traveled on the same bus. We were like sisters. Well, sisters and Gareth who was the closest thing I had to a brother. We’d hang out, play video games, drink, do stuff that was a little more illegal than drinking, and have fun with girls on that bus.

  It was our home when we first hit it big.

  There were times I missed those days, but they were gone. Everyone had their own bus for this big reunion tour. And I couldn’t blame them. Talia had her wife to travel with. That still felt weird to say even though it had been completely legal for awhile now. Emma had her brand new wife to think of as well, though they hadn’t been together for nearly as long as Talia and her girl.

  Those two were still very much in the honeymoon phase. Always sneaking back to her bus under the dirty looks of fans who wished they could be in her new wife’s place. That bus spent a hell of a lot of time rocking, is what I’m trying to get at. It was enough to turn my stomach with jealousy.

  The only one who was out here on their own was Gareth. Still my partner in crime years later, still like the brother I never had, but he insisted on his own bus too.

  I suppose it probably had been awkward for him being the only guy in a bus full of women. A bus full of women he couldn’t touch, at that.

  That left me alone in my bus that didn’t do any rocking. No, I wasn’t going to have a repeat of my mi
sspent youth.

  I gave a half assed wave to the women lined up at the chain link fence. I suppose I owed them at least that much. They were the ones who made my career and allowed me to afford that expensive beach house, after all. A wave of earsplitting shrieks followed my wave.

  I stopped to look at the crowd. The girls here were almost enough to make me rethink my policy about not cutting a path of broken hearts along the tour.

  “Damn,” I said under my breath as I looked at the selection. As I hated myself for thinking of fans as “the selection” even as it rose unbidden in my mind. More out of habit than anything else. Some old habits were very hard to break.

  I was surprised to see girls who looked like they were college aged. Definitely a decade younger than our prime demographic which was high school to college aged when we were first famous but had aged solidly into the mom demographic since. The MILF demographic if some of the thirty-something women shrieking at the fence as though they weren’t going home to hubby and the kids when the concert was over were any indication.

  At least I figured most of them were probably going home to hubby. There was no way that entire crowd played for my team, even if they might be tempted to be a switch hitter for a night if I played my cards right.

  I shook my head. I wasn’t going to play any of those cards, damn it. Those days were behind me.

  Those younger girls were a surprise at every concert. The same thought occurred to me that popped up every time I saw them. They were probably in elementary school when we were famous the first time around and now they were old enough to go to our concerts.

  Damn I felt old. I gave one last wave that set off a fresh wave of shrieks. I knew I could have a surprising number of those girls tonight, even with hubby and the kids waiting at home. I was Ivy. Lead singer of Sleepwalker. Seducer of woman straight or gay all across the country. The most infamous lesbian rocker to ever tear a streak of wet panties and broken hearts across this great nation and even on some foreign tours.

  Only I wasn’t that girl anymore.

  I deliberately turned away from the buffet of flesh and made my way inside to get directions to the green room.

  “Hey! Heartthrob decided to grace us with her presence!”

  I grinned at Gareth and flipped him off. It was a good natured flipping off though. He laughed and returned the gesture and then went back to picking at his guitar. The man was a god on that instrument. Part of the reason why he got the position of the only breeder dude in a band famous for being stocked with girls who liked girls. That and he’d been my friend even before we started the band.

  “How’s it going Ivy?” Talia asked from across the room.

  “Doing great,” I said. “How about you?”

  “Living the dream.”

  Yeah, it sure looked like she was living the dream. She sat on the green room couch with her wife Lisa. Lisa who still looked as stunning today as when she first started hanging out with the band halfway through our first brush with fame.

  “Lisa,” I said with a nod. “How’re the kids?”

  “Supposedly driving grandma crazy,” Lisa said. “Though I’m sure having the nanny along to help out means that’s a little bit of hyperbole.”

  “Good to know.”

  Damn did she look good even after having two kids. Of course it wasn’t how hot she was that had me so jealous. No, it was just the fact that they were so happy together. It was a not-so-subtle reminder of the consequences of my lifestyle way back when.

  “Where’s Emma?”

  “Where do you think?” Gareth asked, looking up from his guitar and making a rude gesture with two of his fingers and his tongue. Even Lisa laughed at that one.

  Of course they were back at her bus. They’d probably be there right up until ten minutes before we were supposed to be on stage, and they’d make a beeline right back to her bus as soon as they could make an excuse to get away from the after party.

  Assuming they didn’t get too worked up at the after party and just go off to some secluded corner where they could do what came naturally to newlyweds.

  Yet another reminder of what I didn’t have. Of what I could’ve had but decided that having a random girl in every city was more important. At least until the Incident.

  At least I had free food. Well I suppose in a way it wasn’t free. We were probably paying for it somewhere down the line in the contracts the legal people drew up, but I didn’t have to break out any cash or my credit card so that was as close to free as didn’t matter to me.

  “How’s the food selection tonight?”

  “Dismal,” Talia said.

  “Yup. It’s just some chips and cans of soda.”

  “Ha ha, very funny you two.”

  Only when I made my way over to the table it turned out that wasn’t too far from the truth. There were a couple of bags of potato chips set out. Not even poured into bowls. There was a vegetable tray that looked like it was hastily snapped up from a supermarket and it had definitely seen better days. When I leaned in close to inspect the packaging I saw that it was a week past its expiration date.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I said.

  My stomach rumbled as though to punctuate the statement. I was hungry, and I didn’t have anything back on the bus because I figured they’d provide a nice spread like usual.

  “Poor Ivy,” Gareth said, shaking his head in mock sympathy. “Rock goddess doesn’t have everything set out exactly like she wants it.”

  There was nothing for it but to flip him the bird again. He made the same gesture he’d made to illustrate what Emma and her woman were up to, though it took on different meaning directing it at me.

  “Tempting, but no thanks stud,” I said.

  “Your loss,” Gareth said with a shrug and a cheeky grin, not missing a beat as he worked her guitar.

  “Anyplace good around here I could sneak out to without getting noticed?”

  “They’re funneling all the fan traffic through the east side of the arena,” Gareth said without looking up. “One of the security guys said there was a diner over on the west side that would probably be pretty deserted if any of us wanted to get out before the concert.”

  “Good. Think I’m going to check that out before we get started. Want to come with?”

  Gareth shook his head without missing a beat. I looked over to Talia and Lisa but they shook their heads too. It looked like it was going to be me all by my lonesome. I went off to find security.

  I’d long ago learned to be very nice to the security at these places because they usually had the skinny on getting out of the venue nice and quiet-like without worrying about crowds of groupies running me over and groping me to death. Not that getting groped to death had ever happened as far as I knew, but I didn’t want to be the first documented case.

  A few quiet words with the head of security and I was tossing on a hoodie and making my way out of a small out of the way door in an alley on the west side of the arena that was completely deserted.

  “I’ll have one of my guys waiting here for you to get back,” the guy said.

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  To show him how much I appreciated it I slipped him a couple hundreds as I was shook his hand. “Let your guy know there’s some of that waiting for him if I get to enjoy dinner in peace without any fans or photographers mysteriously finding out where I am.”

  The security head grinned. “Sure thing Ivy, though I’d prefer an autographed picture if you don’t mind. My daughter is a big fan. Says you girls are retro and all that.”

  “I think I can arrange that,” I said.

  I didn’t make a sour face until I turned away from the guy. Retro? I know he meant well, but yeesh. We’d only been out of the spotlight for ten years. Maybe that explained why some of the girls coming to our shows were so young. I wasn’t going to knock it if it put paying butts in seats, but it still stung just a little and made me feel old all over again.

  I
looked at my phone. The map said this place was just around the corner so I started walking. I kept my head down at first, but soon enough it was back up because why bother? This side of the arena was strangely deserted, mostly business stuff and businesses built to cater to business types. Definitely not the sort of place where you’d find concert-goers.

  It was nice going for a walk without worrying about paparazzi or crazy fans trying to chase me down. Not that I’d had to worry about the first all that much in recent years. At least not before the tour.

  Now that we were sort of back in the news people were interested again, but I was even less inclined to play along these days since most of the stories were of the “let’s all laugh at the aging wannabes on tour” variety.

  Yeah, fuck those assholes.

  The diner was pretty nice. It had an old feel to it, though whether that was because it had been sitting here for who knows how many years or because they deliberately made it up to have an old-timey feel was anyone’s guess.

  I stopped at the front counter wondering if I was about to run into someone who might call the press. I breathed a sigh of relief when an older lady who looked like she hadn’t been in the Sleepwalker target demographic for at least the fifty years since this diner was maybe built came out from the back.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Do I need to sit at the counter here or can I take a seat at a booth?”

  “Whatever floats your boat hon,” she said in a raspy voice that said she’d maybe had one too many cigarettes over the years.

  I decided it would be more prudent to take a seat at one of the booths running along the front of the diner. Sure there were big picture windows along that side and anyone walking past could look in and see me or take a picture, but the area was so deserted that I wasn’t particularly worried. I’d long ago learned that it paid to sit in a nice quiet corner where I was less likely to be noticed even if the coast did seem to be mostly clear.

  My instincts served me well tonight. No sooner had the elderly waitress taken my order, a simple burger and some fries, than I heard the bell ring over the door and a girl walked in who was unmistakably dressed to go to a concert. She looked over in my direction and instinctively I put my head down.