Tell Me You Crave Me

by Joya Ryan

She’d avoided him like the plague, but he was due to give his speech soon, and he had to talk to her, to tell her how sorry he was. He hadn’t even been near Kelly, and he’d noticed that Harrison wasn’t on Natalie’s radar, either.

  Damn it! There was way too much he had to say, and she’d have to give him a chance. She just had to…

  He walked up behind where she was sitting alone at the bridal party table. Everyone else was off dancing or doing something else. Now was his chance.

  “You look beautiful,” he said, as he put a hand on the table and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Natalie, I’m sorry.”

  She didn’t move. He could smell her sweet perfume, felt a lock of her silky hair brush his nose, and her shoulder was so close. Just an inch from his mouth. He could close the space and kiss the skin there…

  It was maddening because he actually couldn’t. He’d lost that right. Maybe he’d never had it to start with.

  “Natalie.” He said her name again because she hadn’t acknowledged him yet. “I’m really sorry, baby.”

  That last word made that shoulder he wanted to kiss so badly tense. “Go away, East.”

  “It’s not what you think. I don’t want Kelly. I just want you.”

  She turned to throw him a hard stare. Her eyes sparked fire, and he felt something clutch in his chest like a fist.

  “If you think this is all about another woman, then you really have no idea what I think.” She turned her back and shut him out. “Go. Away.”

  The fist turned into a full on volcano, ripping apart his entire chest. How could he have messed up so badly?

  “East, honey,” Lemon-Anne said, as she walked up to the other side of the table, “will you come with me? I want to introduce you to some people. They want to see my favorite non-biological son.”

  Lemon-Anne’s smile was genuine, and it made him feel like part of the family for a moment, like he’d once been. But he had to come clean. Had to say out loud what he really wanted.

  “Of course,” he started. “But first I have to tell you that I love you.”

  Lemon-Anne blinked several times, and East went on.

  “Thank you for being the mother I didn’t have, and thank you for how you treat me. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve a lot of things.” He touched Natalie’s arm. “But I’m going to earn it from here on out.”

  Before Lemon-Anne or Natalie could say anything, Matt motioned for him to give the speech, and it was the last thing on the planet he felt like he could do.

  “Hey, you’re up,” Matt said to East as he came over to stand next to his mother. Surrounded by the people who loved him, he realized that Natalie sitting there was his sun. Everything he was pulled him to her side.

  “You really want my speech?” he asked Matt.

  “Of course. You’re the best man.”

  Time to earn it. He left Natalie, Matt, and Lemon-Anne, and made his way to the stage where the band was, grabbing a champagne flute on the way.

  “Hello, everyone. I’m Easton Ambrose, and I’d like to say a few words.”

  Everyone quieted down, and he glanced around the room. The silence. The joy. The happy couple. The expectant faces, all staring at him. East didn’t care about any of them. All he was concerned with was Natalie.

  “I’m not good at speeches, even worse with speeches about love and marriage. But a very wise woman once told me to just try to speak in a way I can relate.”

  He saw Natalie’s eyelashes flutter on a few hard blinks, as if she was physically trying to not look at him. That just wouldn’t do. She had to hear him. He wasn’t done trying for her. He would never be done trying for her. He was going to do everything in his power to earn her.

  “I can only give this speech because of Natalie St. Clair,” he called out and looked directly at her. It was time everyone knew how he really felt. Especially Matt, Lemon-Anne, and Natalie.

  Everyone looked where he was looking. Right at her. Her gaze snapped up and then hit his. “That’s right. I’m talking about you, gorgeous,” he said to Natalie.

  She glared at him. And that’s when he knew he had a chance. The words might not come out right sometimes, but if Natalie got pissy with him, then she cared, which meant there was a chance. And he’d take pissed off over hurt and sad any day.

  Matt made his way back to Bridget, and Lemon-Anne slowly moved toward her table, obviously in shock.

  “Matt and Bridget are in love. Clearly. They got married. And honestly, I didn’t get it. For the longest time it didn’t make sense how you could be happy with just one person. But they are. And I get it now. Well…sort of.”

  A few chuckles rang out, and East went on.

  “See, turns out to talk about love, you have to feel something. So I’m going to talk to the one person that makes me feel, and that’s you, baby. Natalie St. Clair.”

  Everyone’s heads turned to Natalie again. Matt darted his eyes between East and his little sister in disbelief. Bridget looked confused. Natalie looked ready to throttle him.

  “What?” he asked her. “You don’t like that? Don’t like that I want everyone to know I’m in love with you? That you’re the only person on this damn planet I’m terrified to lose?”

  Her eyebrows shot up, and she looked at him questioningly.

  “It’s true, baby. I thought we were risking too much, that it could never work for—for whatever the hell stupid reasons we came up with. But it can.” He glanced at Matt. “I’m in love with your sister, bro. A hundred percent, stupid in love.” He shifted his focus back to Natalie, but he caught a glimpse of Matt turning red and looking like he was going to come out of his seat and murder him. Which he’d deal with later. He’d even take a beating, because yes, he’d lied. But loving Natalie and being honest about it was more important than anything else.

  “You’re the only one I want to hang out with,” he said to Natalie. “Which is something I know Matt will understand, because when he was trying to explain this crazy idea of love and commitment and all that, he talked about Bridget like she was the only person that he wanted to be near. Like things were better when she was around. I get it now.” East shook his head. “Even when we’re fighting, and you’re being a pain in the ass, and I’m being a prick, I still would rather spend every annoying minute with you than anywhere else.”

  He watched Natalie’s big eyes well up with tears, and he had to pause to clear his throat.

  “Love is ridiculous,” he continued. “I mean, think about it. It’s like a really bad drug, a hangover and a high all rolled into one. You get all fidgety for a fix, then it knocks you on your ass, then if you’re real lucky, the woman you happen to be in love with literally knocks you on your ass and laughs as she walks away. Which is good, because some of us”—he adjusted his tie—“have an ego that needs to be kept in check.”

  A few more chuckles rang out.

  “But sometimes you need to get beat up a bit to realize what you’ve been missing. What’s right in front of your face. Yeah, love sucks. It’s frustrating as hell. But when it’s with the right person, it’s so fucking amazing.”

  Everyone laughed, poor Lemon-Anne gasped, and East realized he’d just dropped some cursing in his best man speech.

  Fuck it.

  “Sorry,” he said a little sheepishly and looked at Lemon-Anne. “I’m just speaking in a way I can relate. It’s clear that Bridget and Matt have that kind of love. It’s something to aspire to. And I can honestly say that I’ve only had one amazing experience in my life…and that is you, Natalie. You’re the reason I’m up here botching this shit speech and pretending I have even half a clue about this love crap, because I don’t. But I want to learn about it with you.”

  He raised his glass. “And to Matt, bro, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I love your sister, and I hope you can be cool with that. I’m just doing what you asked, being the best man I can be. Congratulations to you and your lovely bride. Because if love keeps going the way I think it doe
s, the next rest of your life is going to suck so wonderfully you’ll never know what hit you.”

  He drank his champagne, and so did everyone else as they clapped. More than a few people looked stunned, and when he walked off the stage, he saw Matt and Natalie get up and head toward him at the same time.

  Natalie made it there first.

  “Have you lost your mind? What the hell was that?” she hissed.

  “My speech,” he said calmly. She was pissed at him, but she was talking to him. So he’d take the win.

  “This is Matt’s wedding, and you are such a prick for saying what you said. This isn’t all about you, you jackass.”

  “I am a prick and a jackass, but you love me anyway, and it was all true. Besides, I circled back around to Matt and Bridget, just like you said.”

  She threw her hands up. “You’re impossible. You think that you can say whatever you want, wherever you want, and that I’m just going to deal with it?”

  “No, I think you’ll hand me my ass, like you’re doing right now.”

  “Because you’re impossible!”

  “Yeah, well, you’re impossible, too,” he countered. “Impossible for me to stop thinking about.”

  “That isn’t fair, East,” she said. Her shoulders slumped a little. “Do you have any idea what it’s like loving you? I just want to strangle you and hold you close, and I just want…more. All the time. Just you. Because you have my entire damn heart in your hands and it’s just not fair, East.”

  “But you love me?” he said.

  She nodded.

  “Good. Because I love you, too, and I’m a giant idiot for not saying that sooner. I’ve never trusted anyone like I trust you. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I was just afraid of losing you.”

  He glanced at Michelle in thanks for that gem of realization, and she smiled.

  “Well, that’s dumb,” Natalie said. “Like I would ever leave you.”

  He stepped closer. “Care to make a promise on that?”

  She smiled, and her eyes were teary, and just when he cupped her hips and pulled her closer, she said, “I promise to love you forever and make your life a living hell if you ever hurt me like that again.”

  He brushed his lips over hers. “Hell is life without you. I’m sorry, baby. I love you so damn much, you’re going to be so annoyed with me by the end of all this.”

  “Promise?” she asked.

  “Promise.”

  Matt came up to him then, and East turned to face him. His face was red, and East couldn’t read his expression.

  “So, you want to tell me why in the hell you didn’t talk to me about this?” Matt asked.

  East looked at his friend but didn’t let go of Natalie. “I wanted to, man. I just couldn’t. I knew you wouldn’t think I was good enough.”

  Matt’s face went redder and he sighed. “You’re such an asshole,” he said. “I’ve depended on you to take care of Nat our whole lives. I told you she was vulnerable.”

  East held up a hand to stop him. “I know, I fucked up.”

  Matt looked at Natalie. “So. Are you happy with this guy?”

  Natalie nodded. “Yeah.”

  Matt put his hand on East’s shoulder. “I love you, bro. But if you fuck this up, I will kill you.” He fake-punched East, but just hard enough to let him know he was serious. And then he broke into a grin and gave him a huge hug before he went back to his new bride.

  East felt Natalie’s arms wrap around him, and he turned back to face her. He held her face in his hands and kissed her, and a round of healthy applause erupted. He wrapped up Natalie, the one woman he couldn’t live without, in his arms and held her, kissed her, in front of everyone.

  Finally feeling like he was clinging to something worth holding on to.

  Epilogue

  “Why are you being such a pain the ass about this?” East asked.

  Natalie rolled her eyes and just kept her head down, frosting another batch of cupcakes. “Because I prefer living in sin, all right?”

  East slapped the counter and paced. “I’ve asked you to marry me thirty-one times in the past month.”

  “Thirty-one?” she repeated and glanced to the ceiling.

  “Yeah.” East came around the counter to stand behind her and kiss along her neck. “Remember last week, when I asked you right before I fucked you in my truck because you were so hot for me you couldn’t wait to get inside…”

  “I may recall some vague memory like that,” she whispered, and leaned into his kiss.

  “And then I asked you again an hour later when you kissed me in the kitchen.”

  “Oh, yeah. You got down on one knee and everything. That was cute.”

  “Twice, Natalie. Twice in one day, and every damn day I’ve asked you.”

  “Yeah, but in fairness, if you hit your knees in front of me, I just assume you want me to wrap my legs around your shoulders.”

  He nipped her earlobe. “I do. And I want you to marry me. So give me both.”

  She sighed and continued frosting her cupcake while his hands slid around her waist and he kept kissing down her neck. He was making her hot, like he did every day, a lot more than twice a day. Since Matt’s wedding just over a month ago, Natalie had had a hard time keeping her hands off East. And neither of them seemed to care about anything but touching each other at any given moment.

  It was awesome.

  She’d never felt so wanted in her life. And she loved the hell out of this man. And everyone knew, and everyone supported them, and she couldn’t quite believe it. She was going to spend forever with him, but there was a lot on her mind, and making him work a little wasn’t a bad thing.

  “You think this looks all right?” she asked East and held up the cupcake.

  “It’s perfection. Just like every single one you make. And Leslie will love them.”

  Natalie smiled. She’d come to an arrangement with Leslie McMann. Natalie had kept the rights to her cupcake recipes and supplied them as a secondary vendor to Leslie’s elite clientele. Business was booming, and Natalie got to stay where she was, doing what she loved.

  “Oh, by the way,” East said, and kissed her neck again. “Marry me, baby. My life sucks without you.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. And we’re hanging out now. This is nice.”

  “Not enough. I want more.”

  She turned to face him. “Oh yeah? How much more?”

  “All of it,” he said with seriousness. “I want you. All the time. All of you. In every way.”

  “You have me,” she said and kissed him softly.

  “I have you as my love and my best friend. I want you as my wife, the mother of my children, my road trip buddy, and my bowling partner.”

  “Is that all?” she said with amusement, but something in what he’d said made her pause. “You want kids someday?”

  He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Of course. The world needs more of you in it. But I’m telling you right now, I don’t have a clue as to what to do, but I am certified in infant CPR and watched this documentary on whales and their young and how like humans you’re supposed to just support them and teach them stuff and there’s these backpacks you can stick your baby in and just go hiking! So I can take the little thing with me everywhere. A baby backpack, best idea ever.”

  She laughed and watched East’s eyes light up when he talked about forever and a family. With her. Like she was a prize and he was excited for their future. Like she was excited every day she woke up next to him.

  “I love you,” she said, and kissed him. “Can you do me a favor?” she asked against his mouth.

  “Anything, baby.”

  “Can you marry me?”

  He pulled back enough to look her in the eye. “Yes!” She smiled, and he hoisted her up and set her on the counter. “About damn time, woman,” he said, and then kissed down her neck as he lifted her skirt.

  She laughed and kissed him and wrapped her legs around his waist just as he loosen
ed his belt and yanked her close to take him deep. Her whole body was on fire for him, and all she felt was the beat in his heart.

  “Love you,” he said, kissing her like crazy and taking her body to the edge of bliss.

  “I love you, too.”

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  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to my editor Stephen “Thunder” Morgan for all your awesome hard work! Thank you Heather, Rhianna, Curtis, Liz, Debbie, and the entire Entangled Brazen team. Thank you Jill for being an incredible agent. Thank you to my friends and family.

  About the Author

  National and international bestselling author Joya Ryan is the author of 15 adult and new adult romance novels. Passionate about both cooking and dancing (despite not being too skilled at the latter), she loves traveling and searching out new adventures.

  www.joyaryan.com

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  Discover the Search and Seduce series…

  Tell Me You Need Me

  Chloe Franklin wouldn’t call herself a commitment-phobe, so much as she’s allergic to “long term.” She loves the sexy, sweaty and intensely hot hours of the night, though—especially when those nights are spent with Search-and-Rescuer Gage McGraw. Every time he steps foot in the sleepy town of Beaufort, he hooks up with Chloe. But he’s tired of hooks-ups. He wants more. Hot, bothered, and finally naked, Chloe’s ready for their night to start. But before he takes her, he whispers what his intentions really are…and then the games really begin.