For the Soul of an Outlaw (Outlaw Shifters Book 5)

by T. S. Joyce

  Shoulders heaving, she looked up slowly. Kurt was staring at her tits with wide eyes. “Oops,” he murmured. The jackass didn’t sound sorry at all.

  Rage fueling her, Tenlee stumbled upward and moved to strangle him, but her body wasn’t working right, probably because she barely used this one, and she stumbled and fell right onto him.

  She went to swatting him, but Kurt was quick and, injured or not, was real strong. “Stop it. Stop!”

  A feral snarl was all she gave him as she struggled in his anaconda grip. She was facing away from him, sitting in his lap, stuck in his hug. A hug she’d dreamed about a hundred billion times, but she was so mad right now, all she wanted to do was learn how to swivel her head all the way around and bite his stupid face.

  His embrace tightened, and he gripped her wrists hard, pinning them to her chest. “I didn’t mean to force that. Genie, stop struggling. I didn’t mean to,” he murmured right against her ear. And damn her body. It was betraying her as she leaned into his sexy, velvet words.

  Panting hard, she forced herself to stay still. “I was coming to check on you,” she gritted out in a hoarse voice. She’d rarely spoken as a human since she’d come to the Two Claws Ranch a year ago. “I saw Ramsey… I was just going to check.”

  “Ramsey was the crow?” he asked, his lips so close to her ear. So close. Was she melting?

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Crow. White patch on his chest. I know him. I know him. He’s bad. Don’t like him looking at Gunner, don’t like him looking at you. Why didn’t you pull that trigger, you stupid cat?”

  “I ain’t stupid, Genie. I just don’t kill easy. I ain’t Hairpin Trigger, and I sure as fuck ain’t the Warmaker. I’ve killed enough—.” Kurt grunted in pain as she jabbed him with an elbow. “Stop squirming.”

  Well, she didn’t mean to squirm, but she was sitting in Kurt’s lap with his sexy voice in her ear, and this body was apparently a hornball. “I’m not Genie.”

  “What? Wait, I’m going to let you go, okay? Don’t run. Just talk to me. I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

  To her eternal dismay, Kurt made good on that threat and released her, and now she had to make her body leave his lap, and everything was stupid. Grumbling in her head, she stood on shaky legs and knelt down in front of him, facing Kurt and covering her breasts. “I ain’t Genie. Colt’s squirrel ran off the second he released her outside. I just…took her place. I’m Tenlee.”

  “Tenlee,” he rumbled, his eyes lightening to a soft silver color. There was a slight smile at the corner of his mouth. “Pretty. What’s your last name?”

  “Don’t got one of those. Last names are for humans.”

  “You’re half human.”

  “No, I’m a squirrel. This,” she said, waving at her body, “is only for sometimes. I can go weeks without being this part of me. I’m a squirrel.”

  Kurt frowned. He parted his lips, but nothing came out. He waited a few seconds and then tried again. “Tenlee, who are your people?”

  “You. Gunner. Colt. Karis. Trigger. Ava.”

  “No, I mean, where do you come from?”

  “A tree in the woods.”

  Kurt blinked slowly, then dragged his hands down his face. “Okay…who were your parents?”

  “Not who, what.”

  “Your mom?”

  “A squirrel.”

  “Okay, and your dad?” Kurt asked, looking like he didn’t believe her at all.

  “Also a squirrel.” She thumped her chest. “Squirrel.”

  Kurt stared at her for the span of a few breathes, his dark eyebrows arched up high. “But you have boobs. Perfect, perky, human boobs. And brown human eyes, wild human hair, and fingers and toes and a belly button and lips. You are a person.”

  Tenlee’s disappointment was bottomless. She made a clicking sound behind her teeth and stood. She hated this. Hated herself. Shifting her weight from side to side, she ducked her gaze to his scuffed-up boots. “You’re like him.”

  “Like who?”

  “Like Ramsey. You want to convince me I’m something I’m not. You want to change me. You want me to be like you. Well, I’m not. I don’t fit into your box. The only box I’ll ever fit into that someone else makes is a coffin. I don’t like talking to you anymore. I want to go.”

  “You’ve been watching over us.”

  She backed away a couple of steps. “Don’t want to talk.”

  “Are you the reason the crows are after the Two Claws Clan?”

  Her face crumpled. Stupid weak face and stupid tears. “Yes.” Her voice broke on the word. “But you don’t have to worry. I’m going to fix everything.”

  “Fix everything how?” he asked, standing slowly to his full height. Whoa, Kurt was tall. Sure, he had felt tall when she was a squirrel, but even now he towered over her by a foot. “What does Ramsey want with you?”

  “Sex. Companionship. He wants me to be like him.”

  “Be like him how?”

  “Bonded.”

  “Holy fuck.” Kurt hooked his hands on his hips and shook his head, and now his eyes were bright silver. “You’re Ramsey’s mate? You’re the Alpha of Red Dead Mayhem’s mate?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, what are you doing here?”

  “Hiding.”

  “You don’t want to be his mate?” Kurt asked.

  Tenlee shook her head slowly. “I never did, but he said I was. I didn’t understand what that meant for a long time, and I got stuck. I didn’t want to be stuck anymore, so I ran. To here.” And now they were all in danger because of her. Or more specifically, because of Ramsey’s obsession with her. “You didn’t tell Trigger or Colt. You didn’t tell anyone about me.”

  “Nope,” he said, shoving his hands in his front pockets.

  “Why not? I waited for you to. I waited for them to be mad.”

  “Because it’s not my secret to tell, Tenlee. It’s yours.”

  Before she could stop herself, Tenlee blurted out, “I like when you say my real name.” She squeaked and clapped her hand over her mouth.

  Kurt’s smile turned breathtaking. It was a slow one with just a hint of teeth. It wasn’t a grimace, like when she displeased Ramsey. It was a happy look. And he was giving it to her. Even while she was in her ugly human skin.

  “What else do you like?” he asked low.

  Slowly, she pulled her hands away from her mouth. “I like watching you and Gunner play. I like thinking about what your barn-house looks like. I like the way your voice is deep, but you don’t talk much, only when you have something big to say. I like that you killed Chase to save Ava. And I like this place, but when you went away, I didn’t like this place.”

  Kurt’s face stayed soft, and the smile remained. “What else?”

  “Grapes. The green ones. And Colt. And sometimes even Karis.”

  “What about other squirrels?”

  “I like them, but they don’t like me.” She blinked hard and forced her lips to make a smile like Kurt had worn.

  “Why not? You seem like a very nice girl.”

  Tenlee growled.

  “Squirrel,” Kurt corrected himself quickly. “You seem like a nice squirrel.”

  She made a smile again, but Kurt’s eyebrows went down, so she probably wasn’t doing it right. “I scare squirrels. I smell different or something. And I didn’t have my first Change until I looked like this.” She wiggled her fingers at her body.

  “You had your first shift when you were an adult?” Kurt asked. Whoa, his voice sounded concerned.

  “I’m different. I already told you I don’t fit into boxes. I don’t like when people look at me. I don’t like the way you are looking at me, like I’m something wrong.”

  “No, no, Tenlee, that’s not what this look is for. I’ve just never heard of this happening to someone.”

  “Well, I like the way I am, so I don’t care.” She lifted her chin up high. “I don’t care about anything or anyone.”

  Kurt’s eyes na
rrowed to sexy little silver slits, and he murmured, “I have a theory about that.” And then he did something awful. Something awful and wonderful and awful and wonderful. Fast as a lightning strike, he stepped forward, yanked her to him, and his mouth pressed to hers.

  Her first instinct was to bite his lip like she’d done to Ramsey sometimes, but Kurt’s hands went gentle. He released her arms, slid his hand up her spine, and gripped the back of her neck softly. And his lips tasted so good. He moved his mouth against hers and made her want to stay.

  An embarrassing noise came from her throat as she leaned into him, but she could feel his smile against her mouth. And then he did something wonderful again and pushed his tongue past her lips so she could taste that, too.

  She never wanted him to stop. Her whole body shook like a dried winter leaf, but she still didn’t want to run. Not from him. So she got brave and gripped his shirt in hopes he wouldn’t run away either. And they stayed like that for days. Or maybe minutes, she didn’t know. As his hands brushed her human body, it made her feel not-so-hideous. He let off a soft growl in his throat when she pressed herself against him tighter, and it lifted chills onto her arms. The gooseflesh tingled, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. When she brushed her tongue into his mouth just to see what it was like, his grip on the back of her neck tightened. He pulled her with him to the barn wall and let her press against him as hard as she wanted.

  He was ready for sex. She could tell from how hard he was when she rubbed against him, but he didn’t push for more. He let her do whatever she wanted. This was fun. Her stomach got flutters, and she was getting wetter and wetter between her legs. His hands, his touch, they felt like nothing she’d ever known before. Her whole body was on fire, but in a good way.

  She wanted more and more and more and more, and she never wanted him to stop touching her, because for the first time in her whole life, she felt safe.

  The door to the barn apartment clicked open, and Tenlee lurched back. Gunner was coming out, and she wasn’t ready for him to see her skin yet. She wasn’t ready for anyone to see her but Kurt. Her Kurt.

  Her Change was instant and pushed by her panic. She sat there, so much smaller than Kurt now, looking up at his stunned face. His pupils were big, and he wore a lopsided grin like the ones Trig and Colt got when they’d had too many beers.

  Gunner was saying something to Kurt, but everything was muffled. All she could hear, or focus on, was the fast drumming of her heart. No…not her heart…Kurt’s. She could hear his heartbeat, and it was racing. She’d done that.

  She bounded over to his leg and clutched it in her little paws, nuzzled his shin with her cheek, and then twitched her tail at Gunner, because he always liked when she did that. It made him giggle.

  Mine and Mine. Bye-bye, Mines.

  Practically floating, Tenlee staggered out of the hole no longer blocked by Kurt’s boot and into the saturated sunlight. She paused outside just to take it all in. Even the mud looked pretty right now. The mud and the pile of leftover lumber and the old lazy one-eyed barn cat with the missing tail, the chopping log, the ax, the trees, and…

  Ramsey.

  He wasn’t pretty.

  He sat up in the branches of a nearby tree, his glossy black beak lifted high, his unblinking eyes on her. Brave crow to come back here after nearly having a trigger pulled on him. Brave or stupid.

  She didn’t feel afraid anymore.

  Now, she felt sad, because inside that barn behind her was what she wished her future looked like.

  But what it really looked like was the massive crow in the tree and a lifetime of fitting into a box built by crows.

  Chapter Nine

  He’d kissed her.

  Kurt shook his head for the tenth time since his and Tenlee’s little make-out session yesterday.

  The rest of the Clan was due to come back in a few hours from their trail ride, and Kurt had about a dozen chores to get done before then, but he couldn’t focus this morning. And he hadn’t been able to sleep last night either. All he’d been able to think about was the way Tenlee looked when she was angry, the way her face had lit up when she’d talked about the things she liked, including him. And how her skin felt so soft. Her hair was wild, but he loved it, and she spoke differently, as though she didn’t use human speech that much. He couldn’t stop thinking about how her lips had tasted, how she’d melted against him, and how damn good and warm she’d felt in his arms.

  There had been an instant spark, an instant connection. Shit, what was this feeling? Guilt. He’d gone in for that kiss without a single second of hesitation, but he hadn’t connected with someone like that since he’d been with Laney. He’d had sex, sure, but that’s all it had been…sex. And no kissing, ever.

  But with Tenlee, he could’ve kissed her for hours, built them up until neither one of them could resist getting lost and fucking relentlessly. But with her…it wouldn’t be fucking, now would it?

  Nah, she was different than the occasional girl he’d brought home from the bar just to lose his mind for a little while before he dealt with the guilt the next day. Tenlee was a mystery, and something he couldn’t put his finger on. She was something that intrigued him, made him want to unravel every layer to her. He wanted to know her. To see her. He wanted to learn everything about her. What she liked, what she disliked, what scared her…how she’d come to be Ramsey’s unwilling mate.

  He hoisted the saddle over the fence railing and settled it so it wouldn’t slip off if Remedy messed with it. That horse was well-behaved about forty percent of the time and ornery the rest.

  As he fed the horses in the corral, he looked up time and time again, thinking Genie, errr Tenlee, would be there. Any time a leaf moved, his heart pounded thinking it was her.

  She wasn’t a wishing squirrel. She was a damn siren, calling to parts of him he thought had been killed the night Laney had.

  Gunner had made a bowl with his T-shirt, poured chicken feed into it, and was taking care of the hens in the coop. He was quiet this morning like Kurt was. Probably just tired, though. They had to wake up extra early because the rest of the Clan was out.

  “H-hi,” Tenlee said from behind him in that raspy, soft voice of hers. She probably hadn’t spoken in her human voice since yesterday in the barn.

  He turned to find her leaning against the other side of the fence, eyes on the ground and red in her cheeks. She was dressed in jeans with holes at the knees, a fitted black Harley Davidson T-shirt, no bra if her perfect, perked-up nipples were anything to go by, and her medium brown hair lay in soft waves just past her shoulders. She was looking down at the ground with her hands clasped onto the fence so hard, her knuckles were white. Good God, Tenlee was hot.

  “I stole Ava’s clothes. They’re kinda big on me, but they aren’t scratchy, so that’s good.” Tenlee looked up from the ground and stunned him with the soft brown color of her eyes. There were gold flecks near her irises. She wore light pink lip shimmer, and her eyelashes looked darker, her eyes smokier. She had freckles on her cheeks. How had he not noticed that before?

  “Also, I watched Ava and Karis put on their make-up like a hundred times, so I stole some of that, too. I poked my eye trying to put this shit on.” With an earnest expression, she pointed to her left eyeball. “It watered for a long time, but…” She shrugged up her shoulders and forced a smile again. She did that at weird times, as if she thought she was supposed to smile but didn’t really feel like it.

  “You look real pretty, Tenlee.” He said her name because she’d told him she liked when he did. And then she gave him a real smile that could stop a man’s heart. Tenlee was a rare and wild beauty.

  “I like the way you look, too,” she murmured. The blush in her cheeks made her light freckles disappear altogether. She gestured to his jeans. “Those are my favorite.” And then to his boots. “And those.” His shirt. “And that one, and I like your face. That’s my favorite, too.”

  God, he liked her. She was so honest. And brave, beca
use sometimes he could tell she didn’t want to talk, but she told him things that embarrassed her anyway. And it was nice stuff. Genie the Meanie was actually Tenlee the Sweetie. “Hey, Gunner!” he called out over his shoulder.

  “Yeah?” his son yelled from the coop.

  “Come here. I want you to meet someone.”

  Tenlee’s eyes went round as saucers. “No,” she whispered, “I ain’t ready.”

  “I want you to meet my boy, Tenlee. It’s a big deal for me. I’ve never wanted a woman to meet him before.”

  Her full lips parted slightly like she would say no, but she nodded, and that was yes enough.

  Gunner came bolting up to the fence, his little legs moving double-time. “Hey, I know you!” he said to Tenlee as he climbed onto the fence beside her.

  “Y-you do?” she asked, scooching away.

  Gunner wasn’t having it, though. The kid didn’t give a single, hairy shit about personal space. Never had. He was like his momma in that regard, and Kurt just stood there grinning like an idiot as he watched his son chase Tenlee down the fence until she couldn’t go any farther.

  “Yeah, you was in one of my dreams. I fell asleep by the stalls and had a dream Harley was tryin’ to bite me and you carried me away.”

  “Well, that wasn’t a dream,” Tenlee said. “You fell asleep too close to him, and I had to make you safe so you could sleep good.”

  “Wait, what?” Kurt asked. “You almost got bit by Harley? Boy Boy, what have I told you about getting too close to his stall?”

  “Well, it’s okay! The lady was there, and I didn’t get bit.”

  “I’m not a lady. I’m Tenlee.”

  “Ten like the number ten?” Gunner asked. “Ten…lee? That’s a weird name.”

  “That’s rude, son,” Kurt admonished him.

  “I made that name up,” Tenlee said.

  “You just made up your name?” Gunner asked. “Dad! I always wanted to name myself, too!”

  “Well, you wanted your name to be Beaver McGunderson, so that’s a veto, little buddy.”