Translation of Love

by Alice Montalvo-Tribue

  “That’s good to hear,” he says, bringing his hand up to stroke my cheek with his thumb. Damn it but that feels good. “Okay. So now that you know what I do for a living, I’m an open book. Ask me anything you want to know.”

  I try to form a coherent thought but it’s not easy with him touching me. Even the gentlest touch from Victor gets my mind jumbled. I take a breath and quickly regain my composure. “How long have you been a singer?”

  “Well, I started working toward becoming a singer when I was very young but I signed my record deal when I was 17. I released my first album when I was 18 and the rest is history.”

  “What made you wanna do this?”

  “My mom was an aspiring singer when she was younger. I grew up watching old videos of her on stage with this little band she had. It looked like fun so I started singing. My mom was in heaven. I think she lives vicariously through me.”

  “Why do you sing Spanish music? I mean you were born and raised here, so why not English?”

  “Well, I guess because it’s what I grew up listening to. My mom was always playing Spanish music around the house when she was cleaning or cooking.”

  “Have you ever thought about singing in English?”

  “My record company and management team would love for me to do an English language record. The thing is, I have the best of both worlds and I don’t wanna give that up.”

  This intrigued me. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, you’ve been out in public with me twice. How many times has someone stopped and asked for an autograph or a picture?”

  “None.”

  “Exactly! When I’m home in the states, I can be me. I can roam the streets, go to restaurants or the movies and not worry about anyone noticing me. I mean, there are the occasional people here and there that will recognize me, but for the most part, when I’m here I enjoy my anonymity. When I step foot in Latin America, and a few other parts of the world, I’m a superstar.”

  “I get it. I get why that would be appealing.”

  “I’ll never do a crossover, Ellie. I enjoy my freedom too much.”

  “Is that why you never have a bodyguard?”

  He smiles wide. “I have a bodyguard on me almost all the time.”

  “You haven’t had a bodyguard during the last 3 days.”

  “Sure I have. It’s his job to be invisible unless I need him to be visible.”

  “I didn’t see anyone.”

  “Exactly!” he says with a chuckle. “You wanna meet him? He’s got the room directly across from mine.”

  How had I not noticed someone following us around for the past few days? “Ummm, maybe later.”

  He laughs. “Okay. Do you have any other questions?”

  “Why were you having an autograph signing at a book store? You actually wrote a book?”

  “Not quite,” he says with a slight headshake. “It’s more like a coffee table book. I had a photographer following me around on my last tour and it’s mostly just a look at what goes on behind the scenes.”

  “That’s a really cool idea.”

  “Thanks, it wasn’t my idea but the end product turned out well. Having someone following me around taking my picture all the time was a pain in the ass.”

  “Do you normally travel with an entourage?”

  “NO! God no, I hate traveling with too many people. Unless I’m on tour, it’s usually just me and Rob.”

  “Rob?”

  “Bodyguard.”

  “Oh right.”

  “When it’s absolutely necessary, my brother travels with me as a personal assistant. My mom is my manager so she comes out for important events.”

  “So it’s always family?”

  “Yes. Almost always. Occasionally, I’ll have a record exec with me but it’s rare.”

  “So this autograph signing and interview wasn’t important?”

  “At first I didn’t think so, but it’s looking like I was very wrong about that.”

  Victor’s eyes meet mine. What I see in them can only be described as something carnal. He drops his gaze to my lips then back up again. My breath hitches and butterflies start to take flight in my stomach. He moves his hand from my jaw to the back of my neck and quickly pulls me into him. Our mouths come together. His tongue coaxes my lips open and slips into my mouth. The feel of him intoxicates me. Feeling bolder, I press myself into him furthering our connection, giving him better access. I slip my hand under his shirt and start to explore. At the feel of his hard abs, I let out a low moan. He rips his lips from mine, still breathing heavily. He places a kiss on my forehead then nuzzles his nose against mine. He kisses my cheek and my jawline, then brings his face to rest in the crook of my neck.

  “Fuck, Babe, any more of this and I won’t be able to keep my promise to you about tonight.”

  “Huh?”

  He looks up at me then brushes a strand of hair between my ear. “I made you a promise that we would just talk tonight. We’ve already pushed the envelope on that. I don’t wanna push it any further.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I should go anyway. I have to work tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Let me grab my keys and I’ll take you home.”

  Tonight I let my guard down just a little bit with Victor and even though I expected the worst, he has stayed true to his word. In the state I was in, he could have easily taken things further and I probably would not have protested. Sure, I would have hated myself tomorrow but I was too caught up in the moment to pull away. I’m not sure now what to do with this information. Any one of my ex-boyfriends would have completely taken advantage of the situation.

  Victor is quiet for most of the drive back to my house. In true Victor fashion, he has a hold of my hand, tracing circles against my palm like he did that first night. How have I come so far in just a few short days? I’ve gone from never wanting to date again to having several dates with the same man. There’s still a part of me that’s telling me to run, lock myself in my house and never see him again, but I know that I have to fight that urge and give myself a shot at something more. Even if it only results in a few fun dates.

  “I’m going back home tomorrow. I have to be in the recording studio tomorrow night.”

  A sudden pang of sadness and disappointment hits me. It’s almost like a physical blow. I’m stunned and angered at my reaction but I do my best to cover.

  “Are you working on a new album?”

  “Yes, but I’m taking it slow. I’m starting the writing process and I’ll see how it goes.”

  “When was your last album released?”

  “About two years ago. I’m contractually obligated to do one more and then I’m free to do what I want.”

  “I see.”

  “I was thinking if you want, I could come back down on Friday and spend the weekend with you. I’ll stay at the hotel again.”

  Just like that, my disappointment evaporates. “I’d like that.”

  When we make it to my house, Victor walks me to my front door and places a soft kiss on my cheek. “Thank you for this weekend. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed myself this much.”

  “I’ve had a lot of fun this weekend too. Thanks for…everything.” I pull him in for a quick hug. As my arms go around his neck, he bends forward and touches his lips to mine. His arms close around my waist. I open my mouth slightly, it’s an invitation which he accepts. His tongue slips into my mouth and he kisses me, hard, wet and long. It’s better than the times he has kissed me before. This kiss is heated, filling me with a desire that pools in my most private places. This kiss is the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I pull away because I know that if I let him go on, I won’t be able to control myself.

  I let out a giggle. “Good night, Victor.”

  “Good night, Love.” He gently tugs a strand of my hair. “I’ll call you, okay?”

  I give him a nod, let myself into my dark house and watch through the window as he drives away. For the first time in a long time, I find mys
elf looking forward to something, and what I’m looking forward to is Victor’s return. It’s a shocking admission, one that I’m not completely comfortable with. I search through the database of my emotions and realize that I’m feeling hopeful. For me, nothing is scarier than hope because I know that when the thing that you hope for is lost, it leaves a surplus of new emotions, none of which are good.

  I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this alert on a Monday morning. My bouts of insomnia normally leave me feeling groggy and exhausted, especially at the beginning of the work week. Last night, after Victor left and I went to bed, thoughts of the weekend flooded my mind. I’ve been so careful over the last few years to keep relationships at bay. So how did I, over the course of one weekend, get here? Not that Victor is my boyfriend, but he’s more than I’ve allowed myself to have since what happened with Brian. Brian, who I once thought I loved, who I thought loved me, who turned out to be disastrous to my existence. Even with all of that going on in my head, I still managed to fall asleep relatively quickly.

  I’ve always hated my job, the work is boring and the people are horrendous. However, there are two saving graces for this place. First and foremost, my salary is pretty damn awesome. Second, the Human Resources manager, Jacinda, is one of the sweetest people I know, so when she pops her head in this morning, I’m truly happy to see her.

  “Hey Girlfriend! How was your weekend,” she asks in her usual perky manner. Jacinda is a natural beauty. Her olive skin gives her the glow that people pay hundreds of dollars to try and achieve. She has curly, brown hair that falls just below her shoulders, brown eyes, pouty lips and curves in all the right places. Most people would kill for her body.

  “Hey Girl, it was pretty good. How was yours?”

  She moves across my office and sits in one of two available chairs in front of my desk. “Oh my God, Elle. On Friday, I went to an autograph signing for the most to-die-for Spanish singer in the world.”

  Oh my God is right! All of a sudden, I’m scorching hot. I reach for my water bottle and take a swig. What the hell are the chances of this happening? Talk about awkward. How do I even handle this situation? Do I tell her I know Victor or do I just act like I have no clue?

  “A Spanish singer?” I ask, taking the clueless route.

  “Yes! His name is Victor Garza. He’s like a Latin God.”

  “He sounds hot!” Little does she know that I know how hot he is, semi intimately.

  “He is! And get this, when I got my autograph, I asked him for a hug and a kiss and he gave it to me! Ahhh!”

  “He kissed you?” All of a sudden, I’m kind of pissed off. I have no right to feel like this. He’s not my boyfriend, and even if he was, he’s famous. I’m sure he hugs and kisses fans all the time.

  “Yeah, granted it was just a quick peck on the cheek but I’ll take it!”

  “Wow, that sounds exciting.”

  She giggles. “It was. Did you do anything exciting?”

  I wanna be catty and tell her that I got more than a kiss on the cheek from Victor but I keep that to myself. She’s just reacting like any fan would to the superstar they love. “Not really, I just had dinner with my family, hung out with Jordan and cleaned my house.”

  “Cool. Well, whatcha doin for lunch? You wanna get out of here later and grab a bite?”

  “Yeah, sure, I’d like that,” I reply as she leaves my office.

  The rest of my day is uneventful. I’m able to get through my work without interruption or any major mishaps. Lunch with Jacinda was strange. She did nothing but talk about the ultra hot Latin singer Victor Garza. What surprised me the most was that I thought about Victor most of the day, even when I wasn’t with Jacinda. I want to be happy that there’s someone in my life that interests me but the idea of letting him get too close to hurt me is terrifying. I need to find a way to express that to him without giving too much of myself away.

  I make it home in record time and get dinner started. I’m pouring myself a much needed glass of wine when my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and my heart flutters when I see Victor’s name on the screen. I try to keep my annoying giddiness under wraps when I answer the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Is it sad that I’ve been home less than five hours and I miss you already?”

  I can’t help it, I giggle. “Yes, it’s truly pathetic.”

  “Sarcasm will get you nowhere. I think deep down you like it that I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “That’s what scares me,” I say as I take a sip of wine.

  “That’s a loaded statement.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, what scares you?”

  “Umm…” I think I’ve just opened a can of worms that I may not be ready to deal with.

  “Do I scare you? Do men in general scare you? Are you scared of relationships? Are you scared of getting hurt? Are you scared that you like me thinking about you?”

  “Yes.” I’m smiling but even the thought of this conversation scares me.

  He laughs. “Yes to which one?”

  “Umm, all of them?”

  Silence.

  “Ellie, it’s okay to be scared. We can take things as slow as you want, okay? I can proceed with caution if that’s what you need.”

  I realize that I’ve been holding my breath when I finally let out a sigh. “Okay.”

  “Okay. Is this conversation too heavy for you?” How does he manage to extract information from me without making it too painful? He can somehow sense my discomfort and calls me out on it without making it a big deal.

  “A little.”

  “How bout an easier question? How was your day?” I don’t think Brian ever asked me about how my day went. In fact, Brian never asked me anything regarding my life, interests, hobbies, friends or family. I guess it’s true what they say about hindsight.

  “My day was okay. Oh, I just remembered something.”

  “What?”

  “My HR manager, Jacinda, went to see you on Friday.”

  “No way!” He sounds genuinely stunned at this news, which I find endearing.

  “Yes, she was so excited. She’s in Love!!!”

  “Oh no,” he says with a chuckle.

  “Yup, and according to her, she got a little smooch from you.”

  “Next subject.” At that, I burst out laughing. For me, laughter is usually something that I force. Victor is easy to talk to and he has a way of pulling me out of my shell in a way that no one has been able to do before. I enjoy laughing with him. He brings out the silly, sarcastic side of me. I think I’ve missed that.

  “I see how you are, making out with the fans and all that.”

  “Nooo, no. It’s not like that.” I can hear from the tone of his voice that he’s smiling. “Some of them will ask for a hug or a kiss and I feel bad. They’ve stood in line for hours just to see me so I’ll give them a peck on the cheek. It’s completely innocent. I don’t wanna be a dick to them.”

  “You don’t strike me as the dick-ish type.”

  “Well, thanks, Babe.” Something stirs in me when he calls me that. It’s not like he’s trying it on for size. He says it like he means it. Like that one word has so much potential.

  “You’re welcome. So, what are you up to?”

  “I am looking over some paperwork, and I’ll be heading over to the recording studio in about an hour. How about you?”

  “I’m making dinner.”

  “Okay. I’ll let you go so you can eat. I’ll call you tomorrow?” It makes me smile that he asks for permission to call me. It makes me smile that, for once, I’m not overthinking my reply.

  “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  “Alright. Good night, Love.”

  “Good night.”

  Victor disconnects the phone. I sit and stare at it for a while thinking about our conversation and how much I actually like talking to him. I finish making dinner and I eat in silence. For the first time in a very long time, I find my
self wishing that I wasn’t eating alone. Can I really miss someone that I barely know? I push that idea out of my head. It’s a thought that I’m not ready to consider. Victor said that he would proceed with caution. Maybe that’s exactly what I needed to hear to be able to move forward with the notion of getting to know him better.

  Without a doubt, this has been the longest week of my life. I’ve been going on autopilot, just running through the motions, for the past four days. Now that it’s Friday, I don’t know what to do with myself. Victor sent me a text message while I was at work letting me know that he was back in town and checked into the hotel. That message sent both a jolt of panic and a surge of excitement rushing through my system. It’s like everything having to do with him is a battle that wages inside of me. A fight between fear and a real desire to get to know him. Letting the desire win out takes a lot out of me but I promised myself that I would at least try to allow myself this, even if it’s just for a short while.

  I made plans to meet Victor at his hotel. I’m tired from a long work week and the thought of going out to dinner tonight is not appealing to me. If someone would have told me a week ago that I would be volunteering to meet a hot guy in his hotel room, I would have thought they were crazy. Yet, here I am standing in a hotel elevator doing exactly that. The elevator dings, alerting me that I’ve arrived on the top floor. My heart rate spikes when the doors slide open. My feet are like cement blocks weighing me down. The fear is like a vine slowly wrapping around my limbs, keeping me rooted to my spot. I can tell it’s the beginning of a panic attack. I haven’t had one in so long, I’d forgotten how they felt. I do the breathing technique my old therapist taught me a few years back. Breathe in for three seconds, hold it for three seconds, release for three seconds. I do this a couple of times and slowly the panic starts to rescind. I regain control of myself and realize the elevator doors have closed. After a few more breaths, I push the button to open the doors again.