Stay with Me

by Sheryl Wright

  “What are we going to do?”

  “I don’t know yet. I guess I need to talk to Ms. Phipps.”

  “Not your sister? If the big bosses find out we knew this woman was in trouble and we didn’t do anything…”

  “We’ll do something, I promise. Just keep it to yourself for now. Let me get back to the boatyard and talk to my boss. Seems as how that’s where Miss Ferdowsi likes to hide out, it might be better to approach her out there.”

  “Maybe. March might signal spring to some but it’s still darn cold out. We can’t let her sleep out there for another night, can we?”

  “No way, buddy. Don’t worry. If Ms. Phipps can’t think of something, I’ll talk to Tyler. She’s supposed to be a big boss now too. I bet she can help. At least I hope so.”

  “Me too.” He climbed out of her car and opened the lift gate for her to head back out for her shift at the boatyard.

  She had some of the answers Lori Phipps was looking for, she just wasn’t sure if she’d be all that happy about them.

  Chapter Three

  Aydan was quick to dress and cover her head, always concerned someone would walk in on her. She didn’t think anyone would question her showering in the women’s basement locker room. Everyone was welcome to use the mini-gym across from the machine shop, and she was sure the early morning security guard just assumed it was why she came in when she did. She wanted to believe she didn’t care what he or anyone else thought, but she did. Stepping up to the mirror, she expected to see dark drooping bags under her eyes or deep creases along her forehead. She didn’t. To her own eyes, Aydan Ferdowsi looked exactly as she had before, before her world came crashing down.

  She sucked in a harsh breath, forcing herself not to cry. She had been weeping too much and for too long. If she had no place among her family, then she would banish all thoughts of them. As she adjusted her hijab she asked herself, quite unkindly, why she still wore it. This situation had forced her to forget her colorful silk scarf she loved to wear, opting instead for the drab and traditional hijab. Still, she had more to consider than whether her family would object. At the moment though, she bowed to the habit out of necessity. She would wait until her hair grew back then she’d worry about faith, modesty, and a million other things she could now choose for herself.

  It was hard enough trying to find your place in the world without the people you love holding you back. All those years of walking on eggs, kowtowing to the views of others, and constantly trying to prove she was a good daughter had taken a toll. Today, she would turn thirty-seven. Thirty-seven years old—and what? She had been a docile child, an obedient young woman, even going so far as to turn down a full ride scholarship to Cornell. Instead, she had done her duty to family first, playing full-time nursemaid to her ailing grandparents. Enrolling at UB, she had been allowed to complete only one course at a time. It had taken all these years but she had finally completed her engineering degree. The only thing stopping her from pinning PEng to her name was her co-op time or lack thereof.

  Two years ago, when her grandfather passed, she had assumed she would be allowed to take on an internship but her grandmother, who ruled the family with an iron fist, had vetoed the idea. Now she was gone too, but that didn’t seem to matter to her mother. After completing all her course work, she sat with her mom, explaining the need for real-world experience. She wouldn’t approve. It was time to marry. Aydan was a smart girl from a good family. There was no need for her to lower herself to work for strangers, or risk her reputation by working with men. Aydan had been prepared for that, explaining that her academic adviser had found a placement for her with a company run by women. Her mother sat stone-faced as her little brother and arch nemesis, searched the Internet for information on DME and DynaTech Research. He read to them of the recent company restructuring, the naming of Marnie Pulaski as CEO, the new R&D company, DynaTech Research, and its management including the Afghanistan veteran Georgina DiNamico, and her fiancée Dr. Tyler Marsh. They might have missed the significance of that announcement if her stupid brother hadn’t shown the webpage to everyone. Of course Ms. DiNamico and Dr. Marsh would have stupid engagement photos up and on the corporate website no less! She didn’t have a chance.

  Back at UB the next day, she had witnessed the look of both shock and revulsion when she had tried, badly, to explain why her mother forbade her to work at DME. Her academic adviser had clarified in no uncertain terms that she was free to accept any internship available. He couldn’t, however, help her in finding one where she could set her own hours, work with other female engineers, have a woman boss, and be involved in cutting-edge R&D. DME was a unique company both in outlook and within the region. Under their new organization, they were only accepting two interns per year and every student in the engineering program had their name on the list. The only reason she was being offered the placement was her marks. As if to accentuate his point, he held up his cell phone, “I have the names of the next twelve students on the list right here. You say you want something else. Right now I can offer you an internship at a packing plant. Either that or there’s a company that sells cardboard boxes. Say the word and I’ll switch you to one of them and give the guys a shot at their number one pick.”

  Staring at the phone as if it might make the call all on its own, she tried not to panic. She’d been in this position before and knowing it made the moment so much worse. She didn’t like people making decisions for her, never had, yet she had sat passively all her life as exactly that took place. The last time it felt this horrible, she was twenty-one and had just finished her first year at UB with marks that placed her at the top of the Chancellor’s List. Sitting with her mother she was paralyzed as her grandfather explained to the recruiter from Cornell why she could not accept their scholarship. It all sounded like bullshit to her and judging by the look on the recruiter’s face, he thought the same. Just like then, she was being warned that there were others, not as smart or as deserving, who would receive their offer. She had said she understood, standing firmly at her mother’s side. Still, every night, she had lain in bed reliving that moment. And in time she had changed the outcome, practicing everything from compromise to outright defying her mother and grandparents. Still, here she was in the exact same situation and being offered a second chance and what was she doing but the very thing she hated herself for, over and over again…“Wait…”

  He placed his smartphone back on his desk and gave her time to explain. When she remained silent, he offered kindly, “Aydan, I have been your adviser for almost ten years. You are my top ranking part-timer and my greatest concern. May we speak as friends?”

  She nodded, but didn’t look up.

  He lumbered out of his tiny office and returned with a faculty member in tow, closing his office door behind them. It wasn’t something he usually did with students, especially females, and never with her.

  “Aydan, I would like to introduce you to Professor Winowski, she is the Dean of Applied Math.”

  Aydan stood, offering her hand to the older and taller woman. That didn’t happen often, the taller part. At five-nine, she was used to being the tallest woman in the room, certainly the case at home. Dean Winowski took a seat.

  Her adviser explained, “I have asked the dean to join us, so that you might get a woman’s opinion on your situation and your options. I also thought you might like to ask her some questions about the internship at DME. She’s the academic liaison for them and knows most everyone over there.”

  Unsure of what to say, she sat in embarrassed silence, watching the two faculty members exchange looks. Dean Winowski took the lead, edging forward in her seat. “Aydan, David has spoken at length with me about your academic achievements. Given your limited access and schedule, I can’t help but think you must be a remarkable engineer.”

  “Thank you, Dean. I took your freshman class,” she added shyly.

  “I remember. You were quite a fan of Mandelbrot, if I recollect?”

  That
made Aydan grin, finally giving her the courage to look up. She was rewarded with an open and reassuring smile.

  “I understand you’re trying to choose a placement for your cooperative learning credits. May I ask what your options are?”

  Nodding, she wanted to explain but caved under the woman’s scrutiny. Instead she looked to her academic adviser for help.

  He was long used to her reticence and jumped in. She half listened to him describe the opportunity at the packing plant. Just the idea of having to work in an office adjoining a meat factory made her ill. Still, she considered it as he droned on. She liked Dean Winowski, respected her, and knew as she watched her polite interest that the woman would never consider such a disgusting job. Maybe if she explained about her mother, about her concerns for her welfare, not to mention her morals…It wasn’t until he moved onto the job at DynaTech Research that the dean took any real interest.

  “DynaTech Research. Are we talking about one of the new companies to come out of last year’s restructuring at DME?” At his nod, she qualified, “Is this Georgie DiNamico’s new enterprise, or one of the cousins’?”

  He retrieved a printout of the placement offer, reading the details to them. “According to this, the intern will be working directly for Georgie DiNamico on a small research team. She has specifically asked for an engineer with strong applied mathematics and an interest in marine architecture and hall geometry. I thought of you the moment I read it,” he told Aydan with an encouraging smile.

  She couldn’t bring herself to comment in any way, and watched as the two professors shared a glance.

  Dean Winowski asked him to give them some time alone. Once the office door closed the dean looked at her with concern. “Aydan, I’m not a counselor but what I’m about to tell you is important. What I need you to know is this is my personal opinion, not the opinion of the university or anyone else. What I’m about to share is personal and difficult but I can see you’re in trouble and for what it’s worth I want to help. Do you understand my warning? This talk is just between you and me. Two adults talking about life, understood?”

  “Yes, Dean.”

  “Okay, let’s start there. Please call me Sandy. Technically you’re not an undergrad anymore and we already decided we were just having a friendly chat, so…”

  “Okay, Sandy,” Aydan offered with an amused grin. She had always liked the dean and loved her class.

  “I understand you need to complete your co-op time before you can graduate, and I also know your mother has set some boundaries which you have respected since the day you started here. Tell me Aydan, how old are you now?”

  Startled by the question, she stumbled to answer, “I’ll be thirty-seven—first of March.”

  Clearly the dean wasn’t surprised. “You’ve been at this a long time. I admire that. Frankly, I think you’re one of the few students who has completed a degree in the maths and sciences one course at a time. That takes dedication and tells me you want this.” At her nod, the dean pushed on. “Okay, good. That’s good to know but here’s the hard part. Engineering is usually a full-time endeavor. Oh, there are lots of people, especially women, who do well working at it part time, but almost always after putting in several years full time first. Now, I know you have obligations at home…”

  “It’s not that…”

  Dean Winowski sighed, sat back and crossed her arms. After a long moment, she seemed to become aware of her body language, dropping her arms and her judgment. “I can’t imagine growing up in this day and age in such a sheltered manner. Don’t get me wrong. I respect the effort and the love any family must have to protect their children. It’s just that sometimes they can mistakenly protect them from the very thing that could make their lives better. Take this placement with Georgie DiNamico. First, the woman is a big out-and-proud lesbian and that’s a problem, because…?” she prompted much as she would in class.

  “My mother believes her morals are corrupting.”

  “What do you believe?”

  “I…It is a sin for a woman to live as a man.”

  Dean Winowski nodded. “I’m with you there, sister. I also happen to think women and men should be free to live as their conscience dictates so long as they don’t impinge on the rights and freedoms of others. By the way, Georgie DiNamico is a friend. I haven’t known her long. I was introduced on New Year’s Eve by her partner Professor Tyler Marsh. The one thing I can guarantee you is that Georgie DiNamico does not live as a man.”

  Aydan colored at the comment but wanted to fight back, to defend her mother’s point of view but before she could think of a suitable comeback, the dean added another fact.

  “You can’t really be this sheltered. Come on, it’s 2017! And regardless of the disgusting rhetoric fueled by last year’s election, sexual orientation is still protected by law in this state. Gays and lesbians have been able to marry anywhere in the country for almost two years now. Hell, I think it was made legal over the border more than fifteen years ago! You don’t really expect me to believe you’re scared to work in the same office as two women who happen to love each other?”

  As Aydan’s face colored at being called out. She watched as Sandy’s brows raised practically to her hairline. “Oh good God!” She stood as if to pace but there was literally no place to go except out of the tiny office. Instead she sat back down, her face now devoid of any emotion. “I’m going to be frank with you, Ms. Ferdowsi. Georgie DiNamico is a UB alumnus and a great supporter of the engineering program, both financially and with jobs, scholarships and internships. For example, the internship we are discussing here did not exist two weeks ago. When we met on New Year’s Eve it was to discuss a donation to the Applied Mathematics program. She didn’t just listen politely and write a check. She listened, asked questions but more than that, she asked how else they could help. We came up with this new internship, an internship that pays a completion bonus and offers a chance at a real full-time engineering job at a company with more women engineers, not to mention management, than any in Buffalo. When she made the offer, I immediately thought of you. It’s a small team, working on a variety of challenges, in a supportive and safe environment. I thought it was the perfect place for a shy, socially naïve young woman. That you’re concerned that Ms. DiNamico won’t respect your boundaries because you’re a woman is completely delusional.

  “First let me tell you a few things about her. One, she is a veteran, a vet who suffered some serious injuries over in Afghanistan. Every day she has to deal with serious deficits. Deficits that would have left anyone else to rot in a VA hospital, but her family loves her and brought her home and did all they could to help her get better and adapt to her new reality. They hired my friend Tyler Marsh to help with work and communications for her. My friend Tyler fell head over heels in love with that woman. Do you want to know something interesting? Tyler had to give her written permission before they could begin dating. Yes! And you know why?” she asked, not waiting for Aydan’s reply, “because she created very strict rules to protect her employees from being taken advantage of by more senior staff. My friend Tyler, who you should know was already out as a lesbian to her friends and family before going to work there, admitted it was the most eloquent policy she had ever read, and she writes that stuff for a living!

  “Now, let me tell you something else. Georgie DiNamico does not willingly suffer fools. You, young lady, may have the best marks, and are perfectly matched to this opportunity but that doesn’t mean you deserve it. If you were seventeen and sitting here and telling me you were scared about working with a big old dyke, I would be happy to spend some time counseling you, providing the kind of basic information and knowledge needed to come to your own conclusions. But you’re not a child, you’re a grown woman. I can’t and won’t speak to your home life but neither will I accept your excuses. There doesn’t seem to be a limit on how many students want this job. So, if you don’t want the placement at DynaTech Research, no problem, you can keep hiding behind
your mother’s wishes. You will not get a placement and you will not graduate. Or, if it’s really your morals you fear for, then I suggest you take the job at the meat packing plant. You can punch in at eight a.m. and spend your days writing reports on how to improve the slaughter, storage and packaging of local pork. All the engineers there are men so you won’t have to worry about lesbians. You will have to fetch coffee and put up with being treated like a secretary, but the job is what you make of it. I can’t say it will lead to employment. They have never hired any of our interns. Of course, I can’t say anyone was interested.”

  When she stood again, Aydan knew it was her last chance. If she didn’t say something, do something, it would be Cornell all over again. “Please Dean…Sandy…My mother…”

  “No. Start with what you want, not your mother. Understood?”

  She nodded, pushing past her fear and doubt to try and explain. “I have no income. I…I’m supposed to marry. It’s all arranged. I tried to convince my mother I should finish school, but when I told them about the internship she was…She doesn’t understand why I would want to work for free and then when I told them who they were, she had my brother look it up on the Internet. He showed them the picture of those…your friends and told them how they were…”

  Still standing, the dean moved behind David’s desk and leaning over the computer, input the URL for DME. She clicked on the tab for Media Releases and scrolled down to click on a recent link. When it opened she smiled, then turned the monitor for Aydan to see. “Is this what your mother saw?” she asked.

  On the screen was the press release announcing the engagement of Major Georgina DiNamico Jr., USAF Res (ret.) of Buffalo, to Dr. Tyler Marsh, PhD of Williamsville, New York. Looking at the professional engagement photo had lightened the dean’s mood. The picture, taken outside in winter, had the two women in jeans and ski sweaters, leaning against the end of a picnic table. On the table between them and proudly embraced by both was a huge chocolate Labrador retriever. “Tell me, do you find this photograph offensive?”