Heroines and Hellions: a Limited Edition Urban Fantasy Collection

by Margo Bond Collins

  “Do you have something lighter?” James asked. “Something that would allow her to move more freely? Miss Wise’s amazing agility is a resource we don’t want to lose…”

  “What about this?” the Rain Man grabbed what looked like a crystal cube from one of the shelves. It had some kind of electric energy in it, as if he had trapped a few bolts of lightning in that small, transparent box.

  “I made this from the corpse of a powerful demon: once out of the box, it creates a powerful, magical electric field around you, a field capable of deflecting almost anything …”

  “Mate, she’s human,” James pointed out. “She’d be dead the moment that thing touched her.”

  “Human? Are you sure?”

  “OF COURSE!” I roared back, indignant.

  He gave me a sceptical look.

  “Well, this makes things much more complicated, since I have plenty of stuff to protect magical creatures and wizards, but not so much for humans and,” he looked down, “what is it?”

  One of the bluemini had bumped into his shoe. He was carrying a small wooden box, with the letter “C” carved on it.

  “Oh, right on cue! What a coincidence!” Said our host, grabbing the box from his servant’s tiny hands. “Well, I had completely forgotten about this! You were lucky my servant brought it out for a cleaning.”

  “Maybe he brought it to you on purpose, as a suggestion,” I replied.

  “Impossible! As I said, they’re far from being bright! Anyway, this is very powerful, nearly invisible armour which I made from the frustration of an eighteenth century girl,” he extracted from the box what looked like two hexagonal silver medallions. “Her name was Clara. She was smart and brave and wanted to live her life independently, to study and to travel. But, she lived in Europe, in a time where women had no access to higher education, couldn’t vote, let alone live independently! They were just supposed to marry and have children and obey their husbands, while always wearing painful corsets. Sadly, that was Clara’s destiny too. She had to learn to mask her feelings and hide her frustration. She was forced to hide what she really wanted, and built an emotional armour around herself, in order to succeed. I made this magical armour using the armour she had created during her life, then made it even stronger and tougher over the years. I added her frustration, and also threw in her most hated corset for good measure. The result is a little masterpiece, if you allow me. They both come with a protective mask too. Clara had to shield her mouth, to prevent it from saying what she really thought.”

  He hung one medallion around my neck and then one around James’. Then he snapped his fingers, and something started surging from the silvery jewels: something strong, tough, almost invisible and…something angry. It felt like a fresh, transparent liquid covering the entirety of my clothes and body, very light and extremely flexible. When every inch of my body was covered, I felt the same liquid climbing up to my neck and reaching my mouth and forming and covering it with an invisible protective mask.

  “I can feel the power of this thing,” James erupted, touching his body to check on the armour, it’s amazing!”

  “I have never seen anything comparable,”

  “I’m glad you like it, dear customers,” the Rain Man said, in a business tone. “You, of course, understand that all of these top notch items are unique and therefore have a cost, a high one…”

  “I’ve already given you all the gold I had,” James quickly replied.

  “I know. However, what I propose as compensation is an hour on my own in Okasan’s lair, once you’ve finished with her. That’s assuming you succeed, and are not killed before you reach her, as is likely to happen.”

  “Look, you’ve already taken all I have, you can’t ask me that!”

  “You’re the usual stingy, I see!” The Rain Man replied. “By the way, why are you making such a fuss about that wizard gold? It’s not like you paid for it or anything…”

  “Hey!” I protested, indignant. “You’re making…wrong assumptions here! How do you know he hasn’t paid for it?”

  “Because I’ve been knowing this old scoundrel for a while, dude, and I’m positive he’s not the type to follow the rules and buy Wizard gold legally…”

  “Well, at least I’ve tried,” I said, shrugging while giving James an apologetic look.

  “I know, thanks,” he replied. He seemed pleased somehow. “As for you,” he continued, turning to the Rain Man. “I could give you five, maybe six minutes alone inside number 50, not more. And that will already be a stretch, since I’m pretty sure her defeat will raise a lot of attention. My brother, and half of the Council will be there like vultures on a carcass…”

  “That’s not my problem, mate. I’m already taking a huge risk, as the odds are all against you. What about forty-five minutes?”

  “Are you crazy? There’s no way I can keep my brother busy for that long! I can give you ten, maybe.”

  “Fifteen and that’s my last offer,” the Rain man replied, giving James a long, obstinate look.

  “OK, deal,” James finally said and they shook hands.

  “Now, a few more things: tengus alpha males tend to grow bigger, when they get angry,” our host said, looking at me, since he clearly knew I was the one fighting tengus directly. “That makes them much more dangerous, but it also requires a lot of energy. In case you are forced to face Sharaku, try to make him angry and resist for a few minutes: Once he has reached his maximum size, most of his strength and speed will start subsiding,” I nodded and he turned to James and William. “Okasan’s lair is very well guarded,” the Rain Man sad, back to serious. “I cannot tell you much, since I don’t know much myself. Besides the tengus, there are other creatures defending her and other things… Three lines of defence, and the first line is like…metallic.”

  “Metallic?” James repeated, perplexed.

  “Exactly. Sorry, but that’s all I know. Dude, you might want to secure my catapult to your belt, use this,” he pulled a golden rope from one of his coat pockets: it was very narrow and only a few inches long. “This rope is unbreakable, it will keep you from losing the catapult. When it’s the time to use it, just pull and the knot will immediately untie” he concluded, as he helped me tighten the catapult to my waist.

  “All right then,” the Rain Man finally said, clapping his hand together again. “We’d better move.”

  “‘We’? Are you coming with us?” I asked, full of hope.

  “No, not a chance! I’m not crazy like you! I’m just taking you back to London, to Mayfair, actually. I’ll drop you right in front of number 50. Better yet, underneath it.”

  “Underneath it?” William raised a very blonde, very perplexed eyebrow.

  “Wait and see!” Our host replied, as a bunch of bluemini climbed inside his coat pockets. Once they were in, he began fidgeting with a pile of chairs. At the top of the chairs was a huge panama hat, so huge that it could almost fit a giant’s head. It took the Rain Man a few seconds to move the pile aside and reveal a very basic, very normal wooden door. Contrary to the rest of the room, it had a modern vibe: it had two black plastic knobs, parallel to one another and black plastic letters spelled out “utility room” near the top.

  Before any of us could ask him anything, the Rain Man turned the knob on the right, the door opened and set loose a dozen dusty old brooms which hit him straight on.

  “Damn you! Shit!” He erupted, extremely upset. But he regained his aplomb: “Sorry, so sorry about that. I never know which one is which.”

  He closed the door with the knob on the right, then grabbed the one on the left and re-opened it. This time, there were no brooms, but a tunnel. A sewer tunnel, to be precise, the like that were found in London.

  “You sneaky bastard!” James erupted, impressed. “You’ve got an illegal portal to London in your house!”

  “I prefer the word ‘off the grid’” the Rain Man corrected him with a grin. “And this is only one of many, leading to various places, in London
and…elsewhere. An honest man like me needs to do business in peace, without any Wizard Council complications, if you know what I mean,” he gave James a mischievous look. “The tunnel in front of you is a few yards away from another one, a smaller one that will take you right beneath number 50. But you shouldn’t waste any more time! Ladies first!” He instructed, bowing theatrically in front of me and pointing at the open door.

  14

  The Voodoo Robots

  “All right,” James said, after the Rain Man had wished us ‘good luck,’ and his portal had closed behind us. “I suggest I enter first. Miss Wise, comes next, And His Grace follows close behind.”

  “Look, there’s no need…”

  “Since I know the way, I should be in the lead,” James cut me off. “Nothing to do with you being a girl, or young, or both. His Grace is very powerful and it makes sense that he backs us up.”

  It did make sense, damn it!

  “OK,” I sighed, defeated by his sensible logic. We started off in search of the tunnel.

  “So, you know where the talisman is?” I asked James. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I don’t really know exactly where it is,” he whispered back. “But, I know where the big boys are, so to speak. I’m a tracking wizard, remember? I can identify a source of magical power and follow it. I can feel an enormous dark power right now, coming from the house above us. I suppose you can feel it too?”

  “Of course. And, so does William,” my ghost nodded.

  “Thanks to my abilities, I can also feel that said power has a core of dark magic mixed with a pure, ancient one. I’d wager that’s where the party is. And, I suggest we join it, though we’ve not been invited,” he grinned. And I grinned back. And, though I didn’t want to over think the reason, I did know that this wizard who I’d only just met , somehow managed to cheer me up and make me feel safe, even in the most dangerous situation.

  “Here we are," he said, as we stopped at the entrance to the tunnel. "Keep your eyes open and your guard up. Let's go."

  The ground beneath number 50 turned to be a maze of intricate tunnels. It was a good thing that James was able guide us, otherwise we'd have lost the way.

  "These tunnels kind of all look the same," I said, after a good ten minutes of meandering underground. "They look the same, but they do not feel the same, Miss Wise, James replied. "This area lies on soil impregnated with ancient magic, filled with fossils of magical creatures. So, every area feels different, being influenced with different type of magic. Try to concentrate and see if you can feel it too."

  I took a deep breath and did as he said. After a second, maybe two, it hit me: a wave of something like exotic magic, something that I had never experienced before.

  “I…WOW!” Was the deep, introspective comment that managed to come out of my mouth once I opened my eyes again.

  "Okasan chose this place wisely. She needs an enormous amount of power to perform her spell, because even her own great power isn't enough. But, this place is perfect to supply her with ancient magic taken from the belly of London.”

  "That's not good news, is it?" I asked, fearing the answer.

  "Not entirely. The fact that Okasan has chosen this place, means that she considers her spell truly overwhelming. All her concentration and power will be on it, giving us a good chance to pass unnoticed."

  "What is this humming?" William cut him off. The concern in his voice froze us on the spot.

  "What humming, Your Grace? I don't hear anything. Nor do I feel any threat."

  "Neither do I," I confirmed.

  "I'm afraid that a ghosts' hearing is much sharper than humans' and wizards' as well. I can definitely hear something humming. And it's drawing closer."

  "Quick, in here!" James hissed, pushing me into a secondary tunnel, even narrower and darker than the one we had just been in. William followed to protect us, he being invisible to anyone.

  A few seconds later, six flying robots entered the tunnel we had come from. The humming came from their engines.

  The robots all looked the same. The size of a tall, robust man. They had a cylindrical, highly polished metallic body, at the centre of which beat a human heart, which was submerged in a green, fluorescent liquid and protected by thick glass which looked indestructible. That alone was creepy, but not as creepy and gross as the robots’ heads, which weren’t mechanical at all. On the top of the robots’ shoulders, under a huge test tube was a human’s head. Each head was hairless, and as green as the liquid surrounding the heart. It looked mummified, but it was actually alive. Sort of. Green energy was glowing at the bottom of its empty eyes and its toothless mouth was opening intermittently, without producing any sound.

  All the robots had flexible, yet strong, metallic tentacles with deadly, steel clutches at the ends. Steel clutches which could easily cut a concrete pillar in two. A human body, my human body, would be nothing to them.

  “What are those things?” I whispered to James, as the robots passed us by and were swallowed by the darkness of the tunnel.

  “Those are literally voodoo robots,” James exhaled. “Voodoo uses human organs to animate things, normally puppets. Those things had a human heart and head which was somehow alive, and animated by that green potion…but, they were not emitting any aura, which makes them all the more deadly, since no aura means they’re undetectable by most supernatural beings. Okasan must have found a way to apply voodoo magic to a superior technology she perhaps stole from some Japanese corporate lab…” he explained, frowning with concern.

  “What was that?” William whispered.

  I didn’t even have the time to ask “what was what?”, when I felt something metallic clamping my ankle. No time to react. Waves of pain shot through my body.

  “HELP!” I shouted, stretching my arms towards James, right before an irresistible force dragged me into the darkness.

  “CHILD!” William yelled, flying after me, throwing every ghost spell he knew at my kidnapper: A voodoo robot bigger than the others, and one whose engine didn’t produce the feeblest sound, which explained why not even William had heard it in time.

  “HOLD ON!” James shouted, running behind William, already lifting his ring of power hand.

  “DON’T USE MAGIC!” I managed to shout, in spite of the excruciating pain caused by this robot dragging me at crazy speed across the floor of the tunnel. The last thing we needed was to be spotted by Okasan, and James’ magic would have caused just that.

  “Well, it could be worse,” I thought, trying to take my mind off the pain. “The floor could be rocky, but, instead it’s rather smooth.”

  It was also suspiciously dry for being near a public sewer. The voodoo robot was probably dragging me away towards the house. Or maybe, somewhere even worse, who knew? What I did know was that we were moving extremely fast, and we hadn’t left the tunnel yet. It seemed to be endless, to go on and on…

  “BE READY, CHILD!” William yelled. And before I could ask “for what?” he hit the robot with a powerful spell, which made it lose its balance for maybe 10 seconds. Enough time for me to get back on my feet, but not enough to free myself from its grasp. The robot pinned me against the wall. I managed to twist before its claws could grab me properly, leaving a couple of inches between them. Inches that were everything between me and being literally cut in two.

  “RESIST, CHILD!” William yelled again, throwing a powerful spell at the robot. But it just bounced back, like a ball on a kids’ playground. Those things seemed to be immune to ghost magic. Maybe to magic overall. I was so screwed… Then, suddenly, I realised that I was still holding my sword. With all my strength, I grabbed it and sank it into the robot’s metallic chest, breaking the glass around its beating heart and crushing the heart itself. A green liquid poured from the heart as it stopped beating. But that was it. No effect whatsoever on the robot. It just stared at me with its empty, evil zombie eyes, while its claws pierced through the Rain Man’s armour, reaching my ribs.

&
nbsp; “James was right,” I thought, gasping for breath. “I shouldn’t have come… Too young… Won’t last long…”

  “WISE! THEY’RE COMING!”

  Speaking of the devil. James appeared at the bottom of the tunnel, his ring of power glowing. He was about to use magic, which meant he was kind of desperate…and for good reason: six more robots came from the deep darkness of the tunnel. These ones were smaller than my kidnapper, who was probably their captain, but no less malignant. They all surrounded James and William, imprisoning them in a force field of green energy. Then, they took turns attacking them.

  Will managed to keep them at bay with his magic, but for how long? It was just a matter of seconds before James would be forced to use his wizard magic. Which could signal our presence to something much worse than those robots. Something much, MUCH worse.

  “So this is it…either way, I’m going to die here,” I thought, desperate. "My uncle will be alone in that enormous house, what will happen to my dog? Will terry keep it? Or maybe my parents could…”

  Everything was starting to turn black. I couldn’t breathe anymore. And then, I saw it. It looked like a firefly, but I knew it wasn’t. It was very luminous, of a very pure, perfect light. That was a fairy light, no mistake, unless I was hallucinating… I stared at it, now completely breathless, as it slowly lit on the zombie’s head, better, on the test tube protecting its head. It looked very much like a suggestion to me. And, I didn’t have anything to lose, did I? With the last bit of strength in my body, I raised my katana again and smashed it onto the robot’s head. The glass around it broke, and the moment it was exposed to the atmosphere, the zombie head turn from green to black, its eyes stopped glowing and its claws collapsed, like puppets without strings. I was free. I fell on the floor, gasping. But, for just a second. Then, I was on my feet again. I took a deep breath and yelled: “THE HEADS! HIT THE HEADS!”

  I ducked another robot’s claw and crashed its head with my jade blade. Then, I jumped in William’s direction, and this time beheaded one of the robots. Its severed head immediately turned black and fell to the ground, breaking the magic circle imprisoning Will and James.