Ever (The Ever Series Book 4)

by C. J. Valles

  I smile, thinking of how many nights I have watched her sleeping.

  “Actually, I was at the house with the others.”

  She frowns at the reminder of Audra and Chasen, and I imagine she would be all the more distressed by their presence if she had witnessed the earlier scene between the three of us.

  “How far away can you hear me?” she asks curiously.

  “You, specifically? Quite a ways if necessary.” Leaning toward her, I reach for the pendant. At her sharp intake of breath, I laugh quietly, lifting the ornament. “This helps.”

  When I sit back in the chair, her breathing calms as she stares at the infinity symbol.

  “You bugged me?” she demands.

  “It’s more of an amplifier, to be accurate. With it, I don’t have to worry as much about losing track of you.”

  “Like a set of car keys? What if I don’t want to be kept track of?” Wincing, she envisions running through the darkened cemetery, her heart racing at the memory. “Okay, I get it. I’m in danger. All the time. Lurking, shapeless beings around every corner. But I need to know—will that change? I mean, is there anything I can do about it? Because I don’t think I can live the rest of my life on high alert, waiting for something to jump out at me. It’s not fair for you to have to race to my rescue every time something happens. Not that I don’t appreciate it. I mean, I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

  I lean toward her, willing her to understand the depth of emotion she has awoken within me.

  “Wren, I don’t think you understood me before. I care about you more deeply than I thought possible.” I think of all the involuntary memories I carry with me, most of them ones I would prefer to forget. “I’ve had countless human lifetimes to observe human nature, all the emotions and motivations—joy, hate, greed, pettiness, anger, devotion, and even true moments of altruism. And after all this time, I was arrogant enough to believe that I understood human emotions while remaining skeptical of love. To me, it seemed ethereal and implausible.”

  My eyes refocus upon Wren’s face.

  “Until I felt it for you.”

  She smiles briefly before casting her eyes downward.

  “But why me?”

  I could recite a litany of her traits that separate her from all others I have crossed, but even that would fail to explain the love I feel toward this girl. I have begun to accept that what has drawn me to Wren—and her to me—is akin to what humans call synergy. Together, we are greater. However, it burdens me that she doubts she could entrance a creature such as myself.

  “Wren, are you so uncertain of yourself?”

  She smiles crookedly.

  “Did you forget that I can listen in on people’s thoughts? It can get a little demoralizing. And besides, have you looked in a mirror lately? Everyone else is thinking it: What’s he doing with her?”

  “And you have obviously been ignoring what all the sentient males in that school are thinking. Thank you, by the way,” I tell her, torn between humor and a dangerous vein of jealousy.

  “You mean Josh?” Wren asks, frowning. “But he’s—”

  “One of many.”

  She looks at me with disarming incredulity.

  “Yeah, right. Uh, huh.”

  I raise my eyebrows and lean back, folding my hands behind my head, mimicking human nonchalance.

  “Your inclination to remain ignorant of their attentions doesn’t trouble me in the least.”

  Wren leans forward, determined to prove her argument.

  “Okay. Have you forgotten that I know you’ve heard what every girl in school thinks of you? Scratch that. You’ve heard what every passing human female has thought of you. They want to eat you alive.”

  What she fails to grasp is that their passing fascination would undoubtedly turn to horror if they knew what Wren does.

  “And do you suppose they would feel the same way if they knew what I was?” I ask.

  “I’m still here, aren’t I? Even though I don’t think I really understand what you are.” Smiling, she reaches and taps her forehead. “You know, given my limited human intellect and all.”

  “You know enough that you should be terrified of me. Yet you’ve allowed me the benefit of withholding judgment, a privilege I do not deserve. I think you give yourself too little credit and others too much.”

  Lifting her hand to her mouth, she attempts to quell a yawn, forcing me to accept that I have kept her from the sleep she needs to survive.

  “It’s late,” I point out.

  Abruptly she sits ramrod straight, throwing back the covers, her eyes alight with sudden curiosity.

  “Do you sleep?”

  I study her face, trying to anticipate her reaction.

  “You don’t, do you?” she asks in shock.

  “We can go long stretches without rest, though we’ve had periods of inertia over time.”

  “You mean when there’s nothing better to do?”

  I smile.

  “Something like that.”

  Her eyes light up again.

  “Wait, hold on. What’s a long stretch for you?”

  Bending toward her, I place a light kiss upon her forehead. The contact is quite chaste, more so than I would prefer, but no doubt safer. Frowning, Wren struggles to her knees and raises her hand, gently brushing the hair away from my face. I watch with caution as she places her hand on the side of my face and raises her eyes to mine. When she reaches out with her mind, grasping for an image or thought, I clasp her hand in mine, startling her. I stare into her eyes, mine full of warning.

  “Don’t.”

  Her eyes widen with regret and fear.

  “I-I’m sorry,” she whispers.

  She thinks it is in some way her fault that I am a monster capable of destroying her with a simple look?

  “I could hurt you,” I say softly.

  She nods.

  “I understand.”

  Her hand remains in mine, and the energy coursing between us causes me to want more, images from the time loop assaulting my resolve.

  “It is a very good thing you cannot hear what I’m thinking,” I say with a careful smile.

  As though Caroline Sullivan can read my thoughts, she sits up in her bed down the hall. I smile once more at Wren. Then, faster than she can comprehend, I turn off her lamp and shift to the coast, where I will wait until she is soundly asleep. The following day she will spend with her friends, and while I will track her movements, searching for any sign of Iago, I know I will miss her company in a profound and unsettling manner.

  This girl who is my salvation.

  14: A Date to Remember

  There is a silence that I have yet to find in this dimension, despite my solitude. I find it to be a contradiction of the highest order—to be so alone, yet unable to find peace. Yes, I can quiet the voices of billions of minds, but the hum always remains.

  In her presence I find both—companionship and solicitude. Perhaps it is better explained as peace that I had never experienced before Wren Sullivan. It makes me covetous. Before her, I had seen time as the one unending resource. Now, I see the time I have squandered in trying to escape the inescapable—I was never strong enough to escape the pull Wren Sullivan exerted upon me.

  “Our mighty leader felled by a recalcitrant young human,” Chasen says from behind me.

  I continue to watch the sky, which has cleared enough to see the final rays of sun disappear behind the Coast Range. Less than a day has passed since I have looked into Wren’s eyes, and yet it feels longer than any day that has passed before it.

  “It has been several human eternities since I could be called your leader,” I remind him.

  “Fair enough. However, if not for you, I would have remained a slave.”

  “And until the portal between dimensions is sealed, we shall exist under the threat of servitude,” I admit quietly.

  My actions—my refusal to destroy the young human girl I have come to love—have put us all at risk. Because o
f me, everyone is in danger. Worst of all, I cannot bring myself to regret what I have done. Even if I must live for an eternity with the threat of Victor conquering this world, I will never regret choosing Wren Sullivan. However, my love for Wren does not alter the fact that I have betrayed my family. Chasen and I stand silently in the enveloping darkness.

  “You miss him, don’t you?”

  Hearing Caroline Sullivan’s question to her daughter, I shift my attention to the small rental house on Meadow Terrace. Startled, Wren turns from where she had been staring out her window, and I see her self-conscious smile through Caroline Sullivan’s eyes.

  “Yeah, I do,” she admits. “A lot. Maybe too much.”

  This boy had better not hurt my baby, Caroline Sullivan thinks protectively.

  “Long have we been brothers in this world,” Chasen says, interrupting my focus on their exchange. I turn to face him. “I never envisaged you becoming so besotted, with a human girl no less.”

  “Not a being here or across the divide could be more surprised than I was.”

  “Her lifespan is but a tiny fraction of the eternity we will see—what can you see in such a creature?”

  I smile. Chasen’s question is not malicious; it only betrays his incredulity.

  “In her eyes I see everything I was unable to see. She is the panacea to an existence of darkness.”

  “Are you saying that I am not your everything?” Chasen quips.

  “I am bound to you, Audra, and Alistair by obligation and loyalty and pain. You are my family. Wren Sullivan, against all odds, chose me even when I tried to escape her. She is my capacity for love in bodily form.”

  Chasen waves me off.

  “You have become as sentimental as one of them. Go. Watch her sleep for the next eight hours if you find it so enthralling.”

  Smirking at Chasen, I shift to Wren’s bedroom to enjoy her quiet breathing and nighttime murmuring.

  “Missed you,” she mumbles.

  For a moment, I think she has awoken, but her thoughts remain invisible to me, and I am left to guess if it is me she dreams of. I watch her throughout the night, my muscles tense as I contemplate Iago’s appearance on the street.

  He will not abandon his pursuit of Wren. He is too much like me in his unwillingness to lose. However, I think he will be surprised this time if he thinks she will sell her mind and body in return for an eternity at the will of Victor’s princess, who served as my torturer in our dimension.

  Minutes before Wren’s alarm clock sounds, I shift to the car and drive two blocks to her house. I am rewarded when she hurries to the window and, with a rush of excitement, looks out at my car.

  He’s here!

  I smile and disengage my thoughts from hers as she rushes from her room toward the bathroom down the hall. Thinking upon the expression on Iago’s face as he looked upon Wren for the first time, I frown. We have played at this game for the length of human history, and whether I defeated him or he defeated me, I cannot recall seeing that expression upon his face. Was it merely surprise, perhaps?

  I hear the shower in Wren’s house shut off, and a few minutes later, I hear her silently pondering whether to skip breakfast or not. Finally, she pours a bowl of cold cereal, and I wait impatiently until the front door of her house opens and she steps out. On the last step, she stumbles over a newspaper. In an instant, I am by her side, grasping her elbow until she balances herself.

  “In a hurry?” I ask her, my tone humorous.

  She looks up into my eyes and smiles.

  “Does it make me weird that I missed you so much after only one day?” she asks as we begin walking toward the car.

  “I’m not one to offer an unbiased opinion. I enjoy your company far too much.” I smile down at her. “I suppose love does lead to irrational behavior.”

  No, I am certain it leads to irrational behavior. Logical behavior, however, never brought me the pain and joy I have known since falling in love with this lovely young creature. I open her door and offer my hand. As soon as she is seated, I shut the door and appear in the driver’s seat as she fastens her safety belt. She looks over at me, frowning slightly.

  “Is that why you said it was easier to feel nothing?” She shakes her head. “I still don’t understand how that’s even possible.”

  “It does become increasingly difficult the more interaction we have not to become susceptible to human tendencies.”

  Once again, her thought patterns surprise me as she imagines me stumbling upon someone else—as though she is replaceable.

  “Does that mean it was just a matter of time before you … found someone?” she says slowly, looking down at her hands.

  Maybe that’s all anything is—timing and random luck, she thinks.

  Pulling off on a side street not far from the school, I stop the car and look over at her.

  “Wren?” She looks up. “When you have as much time as I’ve had, certain things become worthless. Others become invaluable. I could have gone on forever, unaware that I had been missing something from my existence. Instead, I found you. Don’t underestimate what that means to me.”

  She swallows and smiles timidly.

  “You know I love you, right?”

  I reach to touch her cheek.

  “Yes.”

  “Good,” she whispers.

  As I pull onto the main road, she begins laughing.

  “Don’t you think it’s a little strange that we keep having these conversations in your car?”

  I glance over at her, hoping that I will not come to regret the invitation I am about to extend.

  “Would you accompany me on a date, then? I have only one condition.”

  She begins laughing again before stopping and frowning, her expression bemused.

  “You have a condition for asking me on a date?”

  “Just one.”

  I smile at her expression as I pull into a parking space at the far end of the student parking lot. Peering out the window, Wren sees a group of boys ogling the Maserati. She briefly contemplates the car’s rarity before turning back to me.

  “Okay, the suspense is killing me. What is your condition?”

  “I would like you to come to the house.”

  Her eyes become glassy, and she remains speechless as I step out and walk around the car to open her door. She looks up at me, her breathing erratic. She takes my hand when I offer it, and we begin walking toward the school. Finally she looks up at me with a wry expression.

  “We don’t really need to go on a date.”

  I smile widely at her.

  “You’re losing your nerve now?” I tease.

  “Um, you did notice that Chasen despises me, right?”

  I don’t think Audra liked me much, either, Wren thinks to herself as she imagines spending an evening with creatures she believes hate her.

  “Chasen may not care for my choices, but I don’t believe he hates you. It would be foolish of him to hate someone I love. We have a long time to spend together.”

  Wren’s expression changes instantaneously. Fear is not what I see in her eyes. The expression is something else, but she has—very effectively—erected her mental wall, shielding her thoughts from my purview. I study her for a moment, searching for a weakness in her mental armor. I find none. Looking up at me, Wren smiles, but the action does not meet her eyes. She is hiding something from me—something painful, judging from the tightness in her eyes.

  She does not relent throughout Gideon’s class period. Instead she begins to worry about her relatively new group of friends and how they will respond to my presence. If it were my choice, I would gladly keep her to myself, but it is her decision to make.

  At the lunch hour, I walk with Wren to the cafeteria. She remains undecided, and I can hardly blame her for not wishing to alienate her new friends by introducing me. Distracted, she selects random items of food as we walk through the line. I have no wish to separate her from her friends. No—that is inaccurate. I want her to m
yself, but at the same time, I do not wish to disrupt her life any more than I already have.

  As we begin walking toward the lunch tables, I uncouple our hands. Wren looks up at me and then resolutely reaches for my hand. Walking toward her friends’ table with her, I can feel the anxiety running through her like an electrical current. Wren stops and waves at her friends when we reach their table.

  “Hey. … Guys, this is Ever.”

  Damn. So she really is hooking up with the Space Boy, Tarabocchia thinks.

  I smile at the boy. Yes, beyond my wildest expectations, she truly is with me.

  “Hello,” I say to the group.

  The sudden mental silence of everyone at the table is amusing. The Gallo girl is the first to recover her wits.

  “So, you can talk! Awesome!”

  I smile again, and this simple human facial expression eases their anxiety. I wait for Wren to take a seat before sitting beside her. She continues to watch her friends with an anxious expression as conversations resume. Several minutes pass, and I realize how different Wren is around her mother—and me. She shines brighter. The larger the group, the more fervently she wishes to remain unseen, even among her friends.

  “How do you like Portland?” Taylor Nguyen asks shyly, turning toward me.

  “I’ve enjoyed it more than any other place I’ve lived.”

  Wren is the sole reason for this, but I cannot tell this young girl such a thing; it would only frighten her.

  No way! Is the Space Boy moving in on my girlfriend, too? What the hell?

  Turning, I see Wren glaring at Tarabocchia, who is glaring at me.

  Not that long ago, Josh had been totally blind to Taylor’s adoration, and now he’s feeling defensive? I could strangle him, Wren thinks.

  Reaching for her hand, I set our hands on the table and listen as the breath rushes from Wren’s lungs. Her cheeks turn pink at the heat of my touch, and she looks up at me.

  Wish we were alone right now.

  Shaking her head, she returns her attention to Tarabocchia, noting that Taylor Nguyen has been enamored with him despite his obtuseness—a fact that remains a mystery to me as well, the same way I cannot believe my luck that Wren Sullivan can see past the eternity of wrongs I have committed.