“I suppose you’re going to tell me you’ve found the perfect guy for me?” she asked, enjoying their game of cat and mouse.
“You’re lookin’ at him. Baby, it doesn’t get any better than you and me.”
“You’re so arrogant.” Sela tried to temper her amusement by looking stern. “And obnoxious.”
“You’re not denying I’m right.”
She wanted to, but every time she tried, she remembered how good they had been together: riding on the back of his Harley with the wind whipping through her hair, holding hands as they walked along the beach, cuddling on the couch with her cat between them. “It’s getting late. My sister and Chad will probably be leaving soon. Don’t feel you have to stick around.”
“Maybe I want to.”
“I haven’t seen Sabrina in a while. Where is she?”
“She brought her own car.” Jaxon glanced at Sela’s silver strappy sandals. “She has brunch with an important client in the morning, so she checked out early. She told me to say good-bye to you for her.”
“It was nice of her to come. Did y’all have a good time?”
“Sure. It was fun.” He grinned. “A little unconventional, just like your sister. I think my favorite part was when she made Chad chase her around the dance floor before the garter toss. That, and watching you catch the bouquet.”
She’d done her best to avoid that archaic ritual, but her mother had thrown her into the mix and made sure she was directly behind the bride. “My mother’s not very subtle, is she?”
“She thinks she can get you married off before I have a chance to corrupt you again.”
Sela laughed. He knew her mother too well. “I’m in no hurry to get married. I like being on my own. Now that Kiki’s moving in with Chad, I’ll have the place all to myself. I’ve never lived alone before. I’m kind of looking forward to it.”
Jaxon leaned forward and let his hands hang loosely between his knees. “I’ve lived alone for twenty years. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Does that mean you get lonely sometimes?”
“All the time.”
She was surprised he’d admitted that. Jaxon had always prided himself on not needing anyone. “I’m sure you have your fair share of women around.”
“The guys say I’m a workaholic. They’re forever trying to set me up.”
Sela felt a lump in her throat when she thought of women moving in and out of Jaxon’s life. “You haven’t connected with any of them?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“They’re not you.”
His words were so sweet and so unexpected, they stole her breath. “You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m not. It’s the truth.” He turned his palm up. “Think your feet can withstand one more dance in those crazy high heels?”
“I doubt it.” She felt guilty when she saw his face fall. “But I could take them off.”
He rewarded her with a grin. “Let’s do it.”
She slipped her shoes off before standing and taking his hand. “My parents will hate this.”
He laughed. “Is that supposed to deter me?”
Sela knew they were drawing attention when Jaxon escorted her to the dance floor and pulled her closer than propriety dictated, but she couldn’t muster the desire to tell him to cool it. She rested her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes, and pretended the rest of the world had faded away. For the next three minutes, she would let herself imagine how different her life would be if he hadn’t ravaged her heart to the point she could never trust him with it again.
“I love this,” he whispered.
She smiled. “What? Driving my parents crazy?”
He chuckled, low and deep, the sound reverberating against her chest. “That too.” He brushed his lips across her hair. “No, I love the way having you back in my arms feels.”
She stiffened. “We’re never getting back together. Don’t think that’s where this is headed.”
“Never is a long time.”
She tipped her head back, looking him in the eye. “Do you think I’ll ever forget the way I felt when you told me we had no future, that even though you’d been making love to me for a year, you weren’t in love with me?”
“I don’t imagine you will.” He brushed his hand over her cheek. “And I’ll never forget the way I felt when I saw Riley holding you on that dance floor. I think I knew right then and there I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I knew I’d ruined everything.”
She closed her eyes, replaying the days after their breakup and how devastated she’d been. Nothing Jaxon could say would make her want to take a risk on him again. “It’s time to let go.”
“What if I can’t?”
“You have to.”
Part of her was happy she’d reconnected with Jaxon. She hated the way they’d left things, and he had helped her remember the guy she’d fallen in love with, but that didn’t mean she could ever love him again.
“Pardon me,” her father said, standing just behind Jaxon. “May I cut in? I haven’t had an opportunity to dance with my beautiful daughter all evening.”
“Sure, Daddy.”
“We’re not finished,” Jaxon said, looking reluctant to let her go.
“Yes, we are,” Sela said. “Just go home, Jaxon. Please.”
He looked annoyed, but he did as she asked without sparing her father a glance.
“What are you doing?” her father asked once they were alone. “Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time around? Are you going to let him make a fool of you again?”
Her father was just trying to protect her, but Sela hated when he talked down to her. “I’m an adult, in case you’ve forgotten. I’m perfectly capable of drawing my own conclusions about Jaxon.”
“You’re driving a good man away,” he said. “Sheldon’s not a fool. He knows Davis has a game plan, and you seem to be falling right into his trap.”
Sela should have known she wouldn’t escape without hearing her father’s opinion, but she wasn’t willing to take it without fighting back. “I’m not falling into anyone’s trap. Jaxon hurt me. I haven’t forgotten that. But I also haven’t forgotten that he’s a good man. Just because we weren’t right for each other doesn’t mean I have to carry a grudge around for the rest of my life.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to extol the merits of being friends with your worthless ex. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I beg to differ.” It was high time her father gave Jaxon the respect he deserved. “Whether you like it or not, Jaxon’s a powerful man. Being friends with him could open a lot of doors for me.” Not that she intended to take advantage of her relationship with Jaxon, but favors was a language her father understood.
“It would come at a high price. Are you planning to trade favors for his ‘connections’?” he asked, loosening his grip on her hand.
She was disgusted her own father could imply such a thing.
“Well, are you?”
Sela gulped as she stepped back, out of his reach. “How can you ask me that? Don’t you know me better than that? I’m your daughter.” They were drawing attention from the couples around them, but she was too hurt and angry to care.
“I thought I knew you, but the daughter I raised wouldn’t be stupid enough to sleep with the enemy… again.”
“Jaxon’s your enemy, not mine, and for the record, I’m not sleeping with him.”
Chapter Seven
“Sela, what are you doing here?”
Sela knew Sheldon rarely welcomed unexpected visits, especially late at night, but she had no one else to turn to. Her argument with her father had left her reeling, and she needed to talk. “I’m sorry to bother you. I got into it with my father.”
“And?”
She sensed his irritation. “I’m sorry. This is a bad time. You’re tired. We can talk tomorrow.”
“No,” he said, stepping back for her t
o enter. “We should probably get this over with now.”
Sela’s heart pounded as she stepped inside. His ominous tone told her he wasn’t referring to the argument with her father. Something was on his mind, and she had a feeling she wouldn’t like it.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, thank you.” She fisted and relaxed her hands, hoping he couldn’t tell how nervous she was.
Sheldon led her into the family room and gestured to the couch. “Have a seat. Tell me about what happened with Gordon.”
“If there’s something on your mind—”
“We’ll get to that. You came here to talk to me about your father, so talk.”
She wasn’t used to Sheldon being so short with her. “How’s your headache?”
“Fine. I took something for it when I got home.” He sat across from her. “What did your father say to upset you?”
“He was angry that Jaxon showed up tonight.”
“That’s no surprise. You knew your parents wouldn’t be happy about seeing him there.”
“True, but…” Now that she was there, Sela realized she’d been a fool to think she could share the details of that conversation with Sheldon. It would raise too many doubts and suspicions in his mind.
“But what?” he asked, sounding impatient. “Just tell me what he said.”
Sela had painted herself into a corner. “He said I was a fool for falling into Jaxon’s trap and…” She swallowed, wishing she’d accepted that drink. “He implied I was sleeping with Jaxon because of his clout.”
“Are you?”
Sela felt that hit almost as hard as her father’s. “You really think I’d cheat on you?”
He settled on the couch, resting one arm on the back as he regarded her. “I don’t own you, Sela.”
“No, but I thought we had an understanding.” A wave of nausea washed over her. She’d assumed Sheldon had been faithful to her simply because she’d been faithful to him, but they’d never agreed not to sleep with anyone else. She hadn’t thought they had to have that conversation, but apparently she’d made assumptions she shouldn’t have. “Was I wrong?”
“Does it matter now?”
“It matters to me.” Shame washed over her as she realized she’d been duped… again. “Who was she?”
He shook his head. “We’re not going to go there.”
“How could you?” For all of his faults, at least Jaxon hadn’t slept with anyone else while she was sharing his bed. As far as she knew. “I thought we had something special. We talked about marriage!”
“We talked about a lot of things.” He looked at her purse when it vibrated, indicating an incoming call or message. “Do you have to get that?”
“No. I think I deserve some answers.”
“Perhaps you do.” He sighed. “I’m not telling you this to hurt you. I’m trying to set you free.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You still love him.”
She didn’t have to ask who Sheldon was talking about. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with you if I was still in love with him.”
“I think you believed you were over him until he walked back into your life. Now you’re not sure how you feel. I think you want the safe bet, which you think I am. You don’t want to risk getting hurt again, and with me, you won’t.”
“But you have hurt me.”
“Have I really?” He smiled. “Tell me you feel now the way you did when Jaxon broke up with you.”
“Is this some kind of a sick game?” she asked, feeling her stomach twisting into a knot.
“Not at all.” He leaned forward, reaching for her hand. “But you can’t tell me the thought of me being with someone else made you feel as wretched as it should. It didn’t gut you, did it?”
“Were you testing me?” she demanded, wanting to slap him across the face. She’d been through hell at the wedding, and when she’d come to him for comfort, he’d chosen to throw salt into the wound instead.
“I was testing us.” He looked at her hands. “Sadly, we failed.”
“Excuse me?”
“No tears, no hitting, no throwing things. Admit it, you didn’t care. Maybe a part of you was even relieved that you’d found a way out. For a minute, it was my fault, and you didn’t have to take responsibility for not loving me enough to make this work.”
Sela felt as if she’d stepped off a cliff and was freefalling without a parachute. People she thought she could trust were making her question everything. “I can’t believe you’d think that. When have I ever given you any indication that I want out of this relationship?”
“Every time you make love to me and imagine it’s him.”
Sela gasped, shocked and appalled he could think she would do that. Making love with Sheldon had never been explosive the way it had with Jaxon, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t present in the moment. “I can’t believe you think that.”
“You talk in your sleep.”
Feeling a blush spread over her cheeks, she dipped her head. Her sister had told her the same thing. “What have I said?”
“I’ve heard you mutter his name. You beg him not to go, tell him you love him. Sometimes you cry in your sleep. I’ve thought about waking you, but if I did, we’d have to face the truth about your feelings for him, and I wasn’t ready to do that.”
Sela didn’t think she was ready to do that either. Not now, and maybe not ever. “You can’t hold that against me. I was sleeping.”
“Many would say sleep is the one time you’re in touch with your desires, without your ego getting in the way and trying to talk you out of what you want.”
“I don’t want Jaxon.” She didn’t know if she was trying to convince him or herself. Either way, it felt like a lie.
“Is that right?” Sheldon gave her a lop-sided smile. “How long do you think you can go on lying to yourself?”
“I’d have to be crazy to trust him again after what he did to me.”
“I thought the same thing after my wife left me, but on the day I found out she was getting remarried, I went to the church and begged her not to go through with it.”
Sela lifted her eyes, searching his. “You did?”
“Yes, I did.” He sighed. “I even got down on my knees. I begged her to take me back, to walk away from the life she was building with that other man…” He cleared his throat. “She told me I was too late. Are you going to wait until it’s too late for you and Jaxon?”
The weight of his words pressed down on her. “Why are you doing this? Why are you saying these things?”
“Because I don’t want you to end up like I did, taking advantage of a beautiful person because I was afraid of losing the one I couldn’t live without. I might feel guilty for it if I didn’t feel we’ve been using each other in the same way.”
“I don’t know what to say… or how to feel. I’m so confused.” Sela wasn’t ready to deal with the fall-out from another failed relationship. Her sister was moving out. Her parents were disgusted with her. Her boyfriend was dumping her, and her friends would never understand how she’d let it happen. She felt as though she had no one to turn to.
He kissed her forehead. “One day you’ll thank me for saying what you couldn’t. It’s time to say our good-byes, sweetheart.”
“If Jaxon hadn’t come back into the picture, would you be breaking up with me right now?”
“No, I’d probably be proposing, and that would be much, much worse for both of us.”
* * *
Sela’s shift was about to start, and Riley had taken up permanent residence in the V.I.P. lounge. He was buying expensive drinks and reliving his glory days with a group of hockey fans who were hanging on his every word.
“Sorry to interrupt, guys,” Jaxon said, slapping Riley on the back. “Can I have a word with our boy here?”
Riley waved him off. “Gimme a minute, Jax. I was reminding the guys about th
at goal I saved in double overtime against the Caps. Remember that?” He looked at Jaxon with a wide grin. “Sixth game of the semi-finals, and I—”
“We’ve all heard that story before,” Jaxon said, pulling him to his feet by the collar. “It’s time to cover some new ground.”
It didn’t take long for Riley’s fan boys to turn their attention to the basketball game on the big screen.
Jaxon led Riley to their most secluded booth. “Sit down, shut up, and listen.”
“What’s got you in such a pissy mood?”
“You.” For starters. But the fact that Sela hadn’t responded to his messages for the past two days didn’t help either. “Why are you hangin’ around here every night?” As if he didn’t know.
“Because the owners are so welcoming,” Riley said, rolling his eyes.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to.” Jaxon leaned across the table so he could lower his voice. “You’re after Sela again.”
Riley shrugged. “So what if I am? What’s it to you?”
“You may recall she and I have a little history,” he said, grinding his teeth. He’d love nothing more than to grab Riley by the throat, but his partners would beat him down if he did that.
“Yeah, ancient history. Time for you to move on, buddy.”
“Who the hell do you think you are—”
“Good evening, gentleman,” Sela said, eyeing their exchange with curiosity. “Shall I send a waitress over to take your drink order?”
“There’s the woman of the hour.” Riley brought Sela’s hand to his lips before he said, “Your ex-boyfriend here was just about to tell me to stay the hell away from you.”
Jaxon knew Riley was just trying to stir up trouble, and judging by Sela’s expression, it was working.
“Is that so?” she asked, extracting her hand from Riley’s and planting a fist on her waist. “Riley, would you give us a minute?”
“No problem, sugar.” He slid out of the booth, giving Jaxon a victorious smirk. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Where the hell do you get off speaking for me?” Sela demanded, glaring at Jaxon. “I have a mind and mouth of my own. If I want him to leave me alone, I’ll tell him that.”
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