“No, we can’t.” She looked shocked he would even suggest such a thing. “I learned my lesson with you the hard way. I may have fooled myself into believing in a future with you once, but I won’t do it again.” She picked up her purse, crumpling the paper in her hand. “I changed my mind about that snack. I’ll just grab something at home.”
“Wait,” he said, reaching for her hand when she slid out of the booth. “I’m sorry I pushed so hard. I’ll back off. Just stay. Please.”
“I can’t. Good night, Jaxon.”
* * *
Jaxon walked into the church with his head held high. He knew he was the last person Sela’s parents wanted to see on their daughter’s wedding day, but he was there with one goal—make that two goals. He wanted to see his friends get married and let the world know he had no intention of slinking away quietly.
“Everything looks so beautiful,” Sabrina said, squeezing his arm. “Have you ever thought about getting married, Jax?”
His eyes scanned the room, though Sela was probably with her sister, helping her prepare for her grand entrance. “A time or two.” Thinking about Kiki’s pending nuptials had made him think of the wedding he wanted to give Sela. He would spare no expense, giving her the wedding of her juvenile fantasies.
They eased in beside an elderly couple who smiled politely as they inched over, making room for Jaxon and Sabrina.
“I bet Kiki will look beautiful,” Sabrina whispered.
“I’m sure she will.”
“Is that her mother?” Sabrina asked as Andrea walked down the aisle on her husband’s arm.
Jaxon’s eyes locked with Andrea’s, silently daring her to be the first to look away. “Mmm hmm, the illustrious mother of the bride.”
“Sounds like you’re not a fan,” Sabrina said.
“It goes both ways.” He watched Andrea smile and shake hands with a few couples, but her eyes invariably drifted back to him before she claimed her post in the front pew. “She can’t stand me, not that I care.”
“Must have made it difficult for Sela, being caught in the middle like that.”
Jaxon considered his friend’s words. He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of how the tug-of-war between him and her parents had hurt Sela. Back then, he’d only been concerned with putting them in their place by proving he could easily buy and sell them and all of their snooty friends. “I guess it was.”
“Do they like her new boyfriend?” Sabrina asked, setting her glittery clutch in her lap.
“I guess so.” Jaxon knew that would be another strike against him. “Why wouldn’t they? He’s a college professor, probably well read, well-traveled, comes from the right family…” Jaxon gritted his teeth when he thought of them judging him for the things he couldn’t change.
Sabrina set her hand on Jaxon’s knee. “Don’t let them intimidate you, hon. I grew up around people like that, and trust me, they’re not half as good as they think they are.”
Jaxon covered her hand with his own, grateful to have her support. “Thanks. I needed to hear that.”
Before Sabrina could respond, the pianist started playing, and the bridal party began their walk down the aisle. Jaxon’s legs felt rubbery when he spotted Sela on the arm of a handsome man with salt-and-pepper hair and silver-framed glasses. He was wearing the requisite tuxedo, obviously a member of the wedding party, and Jaxon wondered whether he was the competition. He looked like the scholarly type, but the lack of interaction between him and Sela made it difficult to tell whether he was her boyfriend.
Her pale dress was long and flowing, decorated with beads and sparkles. It would have been suitable as a bridal gown for a destination wedding, and Jaxon wondered what she would do if he asked her to run away with him. Would she take his hand and trust him with the heart he’d broken, or would she tell him it was too late for him to undo the damage he’d done?
“Wow,” Sabrina whispered. “She looks stunning.”
Jaxon couldn’t take his eyes off of Sela. He wanted to be the man by her side, or even better, be the man she was walking down the aisle to meet. Love. That word coursed through him. It was the one word he thought he’d never be able to say, but Sela made him feel as though he’d explode if he didn’t say it soon.
“Yeah, she does.” His voice sounded distant since he was lost in his fantasy of the way their lives could be. He knew the rest of the guests were admiring the beautiful bride on her father’s arm, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Sela.
Sela must have felt the intensity of his attention, because she looked at him with a slight smile. He smiled back, grateful he was there to share that moment with her. Sela must have a million thoughts running through her head as she remembered her baby sister as a little girl. They were closer than just sisters, more like best friends, and it meant the world to Jaxon that Kiki had thought to include him in her special day.
Jaxon watched Gordon Richards pass his daughter’s hand to another man with his blessing. He would never be willing to hand Sela over to Jaxon with a handshake and a smile. When Jaxon caught Sela’s eye, he knew she was thinking the same thing. He was the guy her parents would never approve of, but was that reason enough for her to turn her back on a future with him?
As Chad and Kiki recited their vows, Jaxon focused on the words. They told a story of two people who’d fallen in love in spite of the odds, who’d overcome obstacles and forged their path through fear and uncertainty. When Jaxon caught Sela watching him, he was tempted to mouth, “I love you,” just to see her reaction. But when the time came for him to say those words to her, he would want to set the scene perfectly, to gift her with the romantic gestures he’d cheated her out of.
Applause ripped Jaxon from his fantasy. The happy couple was sharing their first kiss as husband and wife, and for the first time in his life, Jaxon wanted to stand at the altar with the love of his life. If Sela shot him down, refusing to give him another chance, it would crush him, but that was a risk he was willing to take. Without her, he was less of a man.
Chapter Six
“He hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night,” Sheldon said, watching Jaxon with interest.
While Sela would like to deny her boyfriend’s claim, Jaxon had been painfully obvious. “I’m sure he’s just trying to get a reaction.” She glanced at her parents’ table, and sure enough, her father was shooting daggers at Jaxon.
“Is it working?” Sheldon popped a shrimp into his mouth.
“Excuse me?”
“Is he getting the desired reaction from you?”
“No.” She smoothed her hand over the napkin in her lap. She hoped Sheldon hadn’t noticed her hand trembling. She was a terrible liar. “Why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know very many women who would be unaffected in this situation.”
“I’m managing just fine.” If just fine meant barely being able to touch her food and downing two glasses of wine to settle the butterflies in her stomach.
“I haven’t forgotten how much you loved him, how devastated you were when he broke up with you.” He looked at Jaxon, who was engaged in a heated conversation with Sabrina. “I told myself I was a fool to even try to bring you out of the funk you’d been in. I think part of me knew if he ever came back into your life, it would be over for us.”
Sela stared at Sheldon in disbelief. “What are you talking about? I’m not interested in Jaxon.”
“You can’t deny the way he makes you feel,” Sheldon said, watching the other man intently. “There’s something enigmatic about your connection. I’ve always been curious what it would look like.”
Sela feared she’d had too much wine, because nothing Sheldon was saying made sense to her. “What it would look like…? I’m not sure I follow.”
“I wondered if it was all one-sided. After the things you told me about him, I assumed it must have been. I thought he was just a player who’d been careless with your heart, but it was more than that, wasn’t it?” He tore his gaze from
Jaxon to look at Sela, awaiting her response.
“Yes, it was more than that.” She swallowed her sorrow. “He’d been with a lot of women before me, but I never questioned whether he was faithful.”
“Because you knew he loved you.”
“Yes. He couldn’t say it, but I knew he felt it.” Sela could scarcely believe they were having that exchange. Had it not been for her two glasses of wine, she would have brushed his questions aside. “That was why it caught me off guard when he wanted to end it. I felt like every day, we were getting closer to the moment he would finally be ready to tell me he wanted a future with me.” She trembled at the memory of their anniversary. “I was blind-sided.”
He put his arm around her. “I remember. I’d heard of someone looking like a zombie, but I can’t say I’d ever witnessed it until you walked into my classroom that day.” He shook his head. “One day you were this beautiful young woman so full of life and hope, and the next you were just a shell, barely able to get through class without breaking down in tears.”
“But every day got a little easier,” Sela said after taking a deep breath. “Every hour that he didn’t call fortified my belief that it really was over and it was time to move on.” She smiled at Sheldon. “Then you came into my life and helped bring me back. Thank you for that.”
He didn’t return her smile. “I’m glad I could be there for you when you needed a friend.”
“You’ve been a lot more than that to me,” Sela said with a sinking feeling in her stomach. “You’ve proven to me that love doesn’t have to consume you. It doesn’t have to hurt. It can be sweet and gentle, and just feel good.”
He brushed his nose across hers. “But it’s the all-consuming love that makes life worth living, my beauty.”
She cupped his face, feeling as though he was slipping away and she needed to hold on. She’d already lost one man she loved. She couldn’t lose another. “I don’t believe that. I think it’s the love that makes us feel safe and secure that endures.”
“But when you find the best of both, you’ll know you’ve found the right one.” He stood.
Sela reached for his hand. “Where are you going?”
“I have some business to take care of. I won’t be long.”
* * *
Jaxon was checking his messages while Sabrina went to the restroom. The chairs on either side of him were vacant until Sheldon slid into one. Jaxon pocketed his phone, expecting a fight. He couldn’t blame Sheldon. He would have done the same thing.
“I guess you’ve figured out by now that I’m the boyfriend,” Sheldon said, skimming his eyes over Jaxon’s custom-made suit. Even though Jaxon earned a hundred times more than him, Sheldon still had an air of superiority that pissed Jaxon off.
“Yeah.” Jaxon gestured to one of his tablemates. “I think someone may have mentioned it.”
“Let’s not play games, Davis. I know why you’re here. You want Sela back.”
“You got it.” Jaxon saw no reason to pull punches. He was there to let the other man know he would do anything for a chance to rectify his mistakes. “And I’m sure you don’t want to let her go.”
“She’s not mine to hold on to. She’s an independent woman with free will. I can’t stop her from leaving me if that’s what she wants.”
Jaxon hadn’t expected that response. If he had been in Sheldon’s shoes and at risk of losing a woman like Sela, he would have done anything to keep her. Maybe most people would think that made Sheldon more mature or evolved, but in Jaxon’s eyes, he was a poor sucker who didn’t know a good thing when he had it.
“Do you think she intends to leave you?” Jaxon asked, reaching for his scotch.
“I don’t know just yet.” Sheldon glanced back at Sela, who was watching them with concern. “She’s trying to fight her feelings for you. That I know for sure.”
Jaxon looked at Sela. No matter how strong she thought she was, it was futile to fight their attraction. It was too powerful to ignore, too overpowering to be denied. He should know; he’d been trying to do just that for the past year. “I was a fool to let her go.”
“I know that.” Sheldon shook his head. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking it was best for her, that I was a bad risk.”
“And now?”
“There’s no risk for her. I’d never be stupid enough to leave her again.”
Instead of looking furious, Sheldon seemed curious. “Why is that? What’s changed?”
“I’ve changed. I’m not the same man who set her free.”
“You’ve got your work cut out for you if you expect to convince her of that.”
Jaxon felt as if he was in a parallel universe. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with a man Kiki was so certain was ready to propose to her sister. “You should be mad as hell. Why aren’t you?”
“Anger is a wasted emotion, especially when it comes to trying to dictate the feelings of another.” He looked at his left hand. It was bare, but he seemed to see something. “I had a love like yours once. I even convinced her to marry me, but it didn’t last.”
“Why not?”
“Because I had to convince her to marry me.” He sneered. “You can’t coerce someone down the aisle and expect it to last forever. She was too young. She wanted to be free, but I was afraid of losing her.”
Jaxon thought of his situation with Sela and how much he wanted to put a ring on her finger, if for no other reason than to feel that someone in the world loved and belonged to him. “What happened to your ex-wife?”
“She left me to find herself.” Sheldon watched the bride and groom dance, and he smiled when they kissed. “She found someone else in the process. They’re married with two kids now.”
“I’m sorry.” Jaxon was surprised to realize he was sorry. The sadness on Sheldon’s face reflected his own heartache. It was a feeling he wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even the man sharing Sela’s bed. “That’s gotta be rough.”
“You have no idea.” He watched Sela cross the dance floor, presumably to go to the restroom. “When Sela walked into my classroom the day after her breakup with you, I saw so much of myself in her. I remembered what it felt like, and I wanted to help her through it.”
“It seems you did.” Jaxon couldn’t help feeling frustrated that another man had picked up the pieces of the woman he never should have broken. “Did she ever talk to you about a guy named Mick Riley? I think they went out on a few dates right after we broke up.”
“Yeah,” Sheldon said. “He was a hockey player, wasn’t he?”
“Retired goalie. Do you know if things got serious?” Jaxon assumed they hadn’t since she’d only mentioned a few dates. Sela wasn’t the kind of girl who subscribed to the three-date rule. She’d made him wait almost two months to ensure he was interested in more than sex.
“Can’t say that I do. We had a student/professor relationship when she was in my class, nothing more. It wasn’t until the summer that I got the sense she may be ready to think about moving on.”
Maybe if Jaxon had tried to get her back sooner, he wouldn’t have to worry about another man standing in his way. “So she wasn’t seeing anyone then?”
“No.” Sheldon shrugged. “I guess she was going out on the occasional date, but nothing serious. Why?”
“Seems Riley’s back in the picture.” Jaxon couldn’t say why that bothered him more than Sela’s commitment to Sheldon. He sensed the professor was a decent guy who wanted the best for Sela, but he knew Riley was an egomaniac who liked to win no matter the cost. “He dropped by to see her at work, left his number. Did she mention that to you?”
“I can’t say she did, but she’s been pretty distracted lately.” He eyed Jaxon, seeming ready to take off the gloves. “She thought she was rid of you for good.”
“She thought wrong.” Jaxon wasn’t looking for a fight, but he’d never backed down from one.
“I see there’s no point trying to reason with
you.” Sheldon sighed. “You’re as hard-headed as Sela said you were.”
Jaxon might have been offended if he could have denied the claim. “I don’t give up on something I want. I fight to the bitter end.”
“You called an end to your relationship, Jaxon, not Sela. Do you really think you have a right to come back asking for another chance?”
Jaxon pretended to consider his comment. “Do I have the right? No. Will that stop me from doing it anyway? No.”
Sheldon rolled his eyes. “I haven’t been involved in a pissing contest in years. I’d like to think I’m above that.”
Smirking, Jaxon said, “You could always bow out gracefully and keep your dignity.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Hell, yeah!”
Sheldon shook his head. “I don’t think you’re man enough to keep a woman like Sela happy, but that’s for her to decide, not me.”
Jaxon watched the other man walk away and wondered whether that might be the beginning of the end of Sela and the good professor.
* * *
“I noticed your date bailed on you,” Jaxon said, claiming the vacant spot beside Sela.
When she’d gone into the lobby to get a little breathing room, she hadn’t expected Jaxon to follow her. “He had a migraine. It’s a seasonal thing, allergies. I told him to go home and get some rest.”
“I had a chance to talk to him,” Jaxon said, stretching his long legs out and crossing his ankles. “I hate to say it, but he seems like a decent guy. He obviously cares about you.”
The last thing Sela expected was for her ex to give the stamp of approval to her current boyfriend. She should be pleased Jaxon wasn’t trying to stir up trouble, but she couldn’t deny she had mixed feelings about his reaction. He almost seemed ready to wish her well with another man. “Does that mean we have your blessing?”
“Hell no,” he said, his lips twitching. “I said he was a decent guy. That doesn’t mean he’s the right guy for you.”
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