Jaxon swallowed repeatedly, trying to voice his fears. “It scares me. She doesn’t need me, but I’m beginning to realize how much I need her.”
“How do you know she doesn’t need you?”
Jaxon remembered her words that morning. “She’s not willing to settle for less than she deserves. If I can’t give her what she needs, she’ll find someone who can.”
“As she should. Isn’t that the reason you let her go the first time?”
Jaxon realized they’d come full circle. He’d put himself in the position of losing her all over again. “Yes.”
The doctor’s gaze was sharp when he asked, “It seems to me you’re at a crossroads. You have to decide which way to go.”
* * *
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Dylan said, giving Sela a hug. “But you know you didn’t have to come in tonight.”
She laughed. “Tell my landlord that when my rent is late.” She subconsciously glanced over Dylan’s shoulder, looking for his partner.
“He hasn’t been in tonight,” he offered. “Actually, he made us reschedule a board meeting, which isn’t like him. He said he had something important to take care of, and it couldn’t wait. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
“No, I haven’t seen him since this morning.” She laid in bed for a long time after he left, crying and feeling sorry for herself until she realized she was repeating the same cycle she had almost a year ago.
“Are things okay between you?” Dylan asked. “You didn’t have a fight, did you?”
“Let’s just say we reached an understanding.” While she considered Dylan a friend, it was Jaxon’s place to tell him what had happened between them, if he chose to.
“I don’t like the sound of that. Does that mean we can expect him to be all messed up again?”
“I don’t think so,” Sela said, trying to ignore the sharp pain of regret. “I think this is the way things were meant to be. I suspect Jaxon knows that as well.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.”
Sela turned around to see her mother. “What are you doing here?”
Andrea glanced at Dylan. “May I have a word with you in private before your shift starts, Sela?”
Sela knew there was no point asking her mother how she’d found out what time her shift started. There was little she didn’t know about her daughters. “I don’t have a lot of time.”
“This won’t take a lot of time,” Andrea said, pursing her lips.
Sela wanted to remind her mother the cosmetic surgeon had told her to stop doing that since it only exacerbated the fine lines around her mouth, but she wasn’t in the mood to amuse herself at her mother’s expense. Her heart still hurt from the way she and Jaxon had left things, and not even sticking it to her meddling mother would take the sting away. “Fine.” She touched Dylan’s arm. “Thanks again for last night. You were great.”
“Anytime.” He raised an eyebrow at Andrea. “I’ll always look out for my best buddy’s girl.”
Andrea raised her chin, looking down her nose at Dylan. “If you’ll excuse us…” Reaching for Sela’s arm, she said, “Let’s see if we can find somewhere to sit in this godforsaken place.”
“If you don’t like it here, you shouldn’t have come.” Sela was in no mood for another war of words with her mother, but if Andrea was determined to do battle, she’d make her sorry.
“I didn’t have a choice,” she said, sliding into the only vacant booth in the V.I.P. section.
“This is for choice customers,” Sela reminded her. “I doubt you’d fall into that category.”
“I don’t know about that,” she said, glancing at the drink menu. “My daughter’s sleeping with one of the owners. I’d say that gives me some clout.”
“Not that it’s any of your business,” Sela hissed, looking around to make sure no one had overheard her mother’s comment, “but I am not sleeping with Jaxon.”
“Nor will you want to when you hear what I have to tell you.” Andrea barely spared the waitress a glance before she said, “Give me a glass of chardonnay.” Her pink nail ran down the menu, pointing at the most expensive wine she could find. “That one.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Becky touched Sela’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re feeling better, hon. We were so worried about you.”
“Thanks, Becky.” Sela forced a smile as she tried to ignore her mother’s icy stare. “I’m feeling much better now.”
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Becky asked.
“Just a water would be great, thanks.”
“Coming right up.”
Andrea waited for Becky to leave. “I know you don’t have a lot of time, so I’ll get right to the point.”
“Please do.”
“Your father and I were having dinner at your old workplace.” She pulled her lips back in a smile, no small feat given the amount of Botox injected into her mouth.
“Why would you go there?” Sela asked. “When I worked there, you said it was too blue collar.”
“It’s a sight better than this,” Andrea said, looking around the upscale bar as though she’d just stepped into a smoky honky-tonk blaring twangy county music.
“I don’t think your age group is High Rollers’ target demographic, Mother.” Sela smiled sweetly at Becky as she set their drinks down.
Her friend tried to hold back a laugh, which further infuriated Andrea, if the murderous look on her taut face was any indication. Andrea set her wine aside so she could lean forward. “I don’t know what your problem is today, but I don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me. Your father and I are just looking out for you, and this is the thanks we get? You’re acting like a spoiled brat.”
If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black… Sela bit her tongue and checked her watch. “I only have a few minutes before my shift starts. You said you had something important to tell me?”
Andrea took a cleansing breath. “As I said, we went to Joe’s. We thought we’d ask him if he would consider giving you your old job back, you know, so you wouldn’t have to continue working for that… that… man.”
“I decide where I work and for whom,” Sela said, stunned by her mother’s nerve. “I told you not to interfere in my life. I’m a grown woman, and I make my own decisions. Where I go to school, what I study, where I work, where I live, and who I date. Any more questions?”
Andrea looked outraged as she reached for her wine glass. “You think you’re the one calling the shots? You’re not. He’s the puppet master pulling all your strings, whether you know it or not.”
“Who? What are you talking about?”
“Who do you think I’m talking about? Jaxon, of course.”
“If you’re here to run Jaxon down again, you’re wasting your time.” Sela stopped just short of telling her any hope she’d had of a future with the man she loved were dashed yet again, but when she saw Andrea’s smug smile, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words.
“I’m here to give you the facts,” Andrea said, spreading her hands. “Do with them what you will.”
“Fine.” Sela knew the only way to get rid of her mother was to let her say her piece. “What do you know that I don’t?”
“You lost your job because of Jaxon.”
“Excuse me?” she said, cupping her ear. “It’s loud in here and—”
“You heard me right. Jaxon talked Joe into firing you so he could hire you.”
Sela felt as if someone had kicked her in the stomach. Jaxon knew her too well to think she’d stand for someone interfering in her life that way. He’d observed firsthand her power struggle with her parents. No way would he do to her what they’d always done. “You’re lying.”
Andrea took a sip of her wine, savoring it before she said, “Am I? Why don’t you ask him? If he’s half the man you seem to think he is, he’ll feel compelled to tell you the truth. If not, you can always ask Joe or…” She snapped her fingers. “What was his
wife’s name again, Marlie?”
“Yes.” Sela picked up her water, hoping to coat her dry throat. “Assuming I believe you, which I don’t, how do you know this?”
“We were seated behind Joe and Marlie. Naturally they didn’t know we were your parents.” She smiled. “We asked to speak to him when we went in, but the hostess said he was having dinner with his wife. We asked to sit in the booth behind them. We figured we could introduce ourselves and make a plea for your job when there was a break in their conversation.”
“You had it all figured out, didn’t you?” Sela was still torn about believing her mother, but the more she listened, the more plausible her story sounded.
Ignoring her daughter’s comment, Andrea said, “They were having a rather heated discussion. Marlie felt guilty about what happened to you last night. She said if she’d known something like that would happen, she never would have gone along with Jaxon’s plan to have you fired.”
“Why would Joe agree to fire me? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Your father and I were wondering the same thing.” Andrea grinned, looking positively gleeful. “So he decided to do a little digging. Guess who owns the building Joe rents?”
Sela didn’t have to guess. “Jaxon?”
“That’s right. I guess being the poor man’s landlord gives him the right to throw his weight around. Personally, I think it’s dreadful manipulating people that way, forcing them to do things they don’t want to do.”
“Right, because you’d never do anything like that, would you?” Sela stood, glaring at her mother. “You’ve had your fun. I believe we’re done here.”
Chapter Twelve
Jaxon had snuck in the back door over an hour ago. Sela’s shift was about to end, and he’d painstakingly set the stage for a romantic evening in the private dining room. He hoped she would be up to it after getting off work. Taking one last look at the table, he had to admit everything was perfect. The crystal sparkled. The white linens looked crisp. The red roses were in perfect bloom. The expensive champagne was chilling, and the ring box was burning a hole in his pocket. He only hoped they would have reason to celebrate.
After his therapy session, he’d called the bar to set his plan in motion, but not before he hit his favorite jewelry store. Dr. Masters had made him realize he’d already wasted too much time living in fear. It was time to do what he should have done two years ago: ask Sela to be his wife.
His hands trembled as he pulled the black velvet box out of his pocket and opened it. Staring back at him was the most perfect diamond he had ever seen. It was classic and brilliant, just like the woman he hoped would be wearing it. At just over three carats, the round diamond would stop traffic, and Sela deserved no less.
“Boss,” Becky said, tapping on the door, “I told Sela you wanted to see her. She’ll be in in a minute.”
“Thanks, Becky,” he said, returning the box to his pocket as he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. She has to say yes. Please God, let her say yes.
A tap on the door followed by Sela’s voice forced Jaxon to put one foot in front of the other. Opening the door, he smiled to break the ice. She looked a little tired after a long shift on her feet, but he hoped she would accept his dinner invitation nonetheless.
“Becky said you wanted to see me,” Sela said, looking apprehensive. “But if you’re busy…”
He saw her glance at the table. Did she really think he would go to all that trouble for anyone other than her? “Come in.” He stepped back, careful not to reach for her when she slipped past him. It took some effort though, especially after he got a whiff of the perfume he’d introduced her to when they started dating. He’d bought it for her for her birthday, hoping it wouldn’t be construed as a personal gift that hinted at a future. What a fool he’d been.
“About what happened this morning,” he said, sensing she was still hostile about their talk. “I’m sorry.”
She turned to face him. “You’re sorry?”
“Yes, I—” Before he could finish, the waiter knocked on the door and asked if he could serve the appetizers Jaxon had ordered. Jaxon gestured to the table in the middle of the room. “Have a seat, Sela. I took the liberty of ordering dinner. I know you must be hungry. I thought we could talk.”
She looked hesitant, but when her co-worker came back with a platter of decadent seafood, she took the seat Jaxon held for her. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” He got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something told him it wouldn’t be easy to convince her he’d come to his senses.
They waited for Howard to open the champagne and pour two glasses before they looked at each other. He saw something in her eyes he hadn’t seen before. Doubt? Disappointment? Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. At least she’d agreed to have dinner with him. She was leaving the door open, and he didn’t intend to blow the opportunity to start over.
Once Howard left, Jaxon raised his glass. “To the woman who made me want to be a better man. I love you, Sela.”
She looked touched by his toast as she tapped her glass against his, but she failed to return his smile as she brought the glass to her lips. “Dom Perignon. It’s lovely. What’s the occasion?”
“I’m here with you. That’s reason enough to celebrate.” As much as he wanted to propose, Jaxon didn’t want to rush it. He wanted to savor every moment of the evening, hoping it would be one she would remember forever.
“You went to a lot of trouble to plan this. Why? Are you feeling guilty about something?” She set her glass on the table and crossed her arms as she leveled him with her gaze. “Trying to soften the blow, maybe?”
Jaxon didn’t know what she was implying, but she was obviously still angry with him. “Can we just forget about what happened this morning? I said things I shouldn’t have.”
“You told me the truth. It was a refreshing change.”
“Ouch.” He splayed his fingers across his chest. “That hurt.”
“It was supposed to.”
“I know you’re pissed I would start something with you before I was certain I was ready to take the next step.” As much as he wanted to hold off on telling her the reason he’d planned their special dinner, he knew she wouldn’t grant him any more time. “But things have changed.”
She looked amused. “Since this morning? What? You had an epiphany? You realized you couldn’t live without me?”
She was being sarcastic, but he was serious when he said, “Yes. I know you may have a hard time believing that, but it’s the truth. I don’t want to live without you.” He walked over to her side of the table and got down on one knee as he reached for her hand.
She look startled, her eyes questioning what he thought he was doing.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” He realized he should have planned his speech because his mind went blank. “But that’s not the only reason I’m asking you this.” He reached into his pocket, hoping the ring would speak for itself. “I realized that I want all the things you want. I’ve just been too afraid to take the risk.”
When he opened the ring box, she gasped, clenching the hand he held into a fist.
“I don’t want to live in fear anymore. It’s already cost me too much. I want to take a chance. That’s why I’m doing this.” He gestured toward the ring box. “Sela, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?”
Tears filled her eyes when she looked from him to the ring and back again. “Tell me you didn’t deceive me.”
His heart pounded. “What are you talking about?”
“Tell me you weren’t working behind the scenes, pulling strings and trying to manipulate my life to promote your cause. Tell me I can trust you to be honest with me. Always.”
Jaxon couldn’t swallow. He couldn’t even breathe. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Did you ask Joe to fire me? Is it true that you own his building and you called in a favor, asking him to fire me so I’d be so desperate
for a job that I’d have no choice but to come work for you?”
Jaxon was getting a cramp in his leg, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. “I did that so we could spend more time together. I was going to tell you the truth.”
“When?” she asked, freeing her hand from his grip. “When were you going to tell me? Are you the reason my boyfriend dumped me too? I saw you two talking at the wedding. Did you say something to make him want to break up with me?”
Jaxon knew there was no easy way out of that mess. He’d done everything she accused him of doing, so he just had to man up and face the consequences of his actions. “I’m so sorry.” He braced his hands on her knees as he snapped the ring box closed. He knew she wouldn’t agree to wear it tonight, if ever. “I know I screwed up, but I was desperate to get close to you again. You don’t know what it was like for me. I was going through hell, thinking about you all the time. When I saw you talking to Dylan the night of your sister’s bachelorette party, I felt like my prayers had been answered. You’d walked back into my life. I just had to figure out a way to make you want to stay.”
She looked unmoved by his words. “It wasn’t a coincidence Dylan showed up at Joe’s right after I’d been fired, was it? You had him doing your dirty work, didn’t you?” When he didn’t respond right away, she said, “Answer me, damn it. I deserve to know the truth.”
“Yes, okay, he was in on it.” He hung his head. The only time he’d ever felt lower was the first time she’d walked out on him. But this time, he was in so much deeper. “But don’t blame him. This was my fault. I heard you were involved with someone else and that it was serious. I had to do something. I knew I was running out of time.” He looked at her, praying she felt how much he loved her. “I couldn’t lose you to another man, Sela. It would’ve killed me.”
She closed her eyes, her cool façade slipping. He wanted desperately to hold her, but he knew she wouldn’t let him comfort her. So he had to sit and listen to her heart break all over again, knowing that once again, he was the cause of her pain.
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