FORGOTTEN VOWS

by Maggie Shayne

  The police came in, Bev Issacs leading the way. "I heard the address dispatched on the radio in my car before I got five miles away. What happened?"

  Joey and Ash exchanged glances, and she knew he was wondering the same thing she was. Had Beverly ever really left?

  Chapter Fifteen

  She was pretty damned pathetic. A killer lurked inside her mind. She felt him invading her again and again, growing stronger with each sortie. She felt his evil, his darkness and his rage. She felt his hatred toward Ash. She battled it with the love she felt for the same man.

  She was going to sit in a corner somewhere and go quietly insane.

  He could have died last night by the Slasher's blade. God, what if he had? What would she have done if he had?

  Quiet. Peace. She needed it in megadoses right now. She still shook all over when she thought of last night. That blade. The killer. So close. That blinding explosion in her mind when she'd stood face-to-face with the embodiment of the shadow of death. When she'd understood, at last, why her fate was entwined with that of a murderer. She had to stop the Slasher. Maybe it was the entire purpose in her having this "gift." Maybe this was what fate had intended by bestowing it. It was a daunting prospect. She wasn't sure she could live up to it.

  "You're not relaxing."

  Ash's hands massaged her neck and shoulders. His warm breath stirred her hair and his body heat warmed her back. She stared out over the muddy river, her eyes tracing the current and the dapples of orange fire on the water ignited by the rising sun. "Sorry. I'm trying."

  "You didn't sleep last night."

  "You did," she told him. "I don't know how you could, when you'd just come within an inch of—"

  "Don't think about that."

  She turned to face him, head tilted up. "Ash, I can't not think about it. I almost lost you—"

  "But you didn't." He slid his arms around her waist, crossing them at the small of her back and pulling her tight to him. "And you're not going to."

  Tears swam in her vision. "Yes, I am. I am, and it's killing me. When you remember...when you know..."

  "Go on." He searched her face, his gaze intense. "When I know what?"

  She bit her lip and closed her eyes, willing herself to screw up enough courage to be honest with him for once, even as she realized she couldn't. She couldn't let him storm out of her life. Not yet. Not until he was safe from the wrath of the Slasher. Maybe he'd hate her in the end, but it was worth that price to save his life.

  Damn, but fate was asking a lot of her.

  "I know there's something you've been keeping from me, Joey. Something big, important."

  She opened her eyes and let his probe them as she battled inwardly with her urge to be honest and her need to protect him.

  "Tell me, Joey. Trust me."

  His melted-chocolate eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them. She felt trapped in their depths and felt them pulling her deeper. Like quicksand. She could drown in those eyes and not regret it. God, how she loved him. And it went against everything she believed to love a man this much and still lie to him. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he would find a way to forgive.

  "Ash...I'm not really—"

  She broke off as her name was shouted. Blinking away her surprise at how close she'd just come to ruining everything, she turned to see Ted Dryer loping down the lawn toward the river. For just an instant, she'd thought it was her father. The tall, long-limbed build, the straight-backed stance. She had never realized how much Ted resembled her dad. Maybe that was why Caro had chosen him.

  She heard Ash's frustrated sigh, but kept her eyes on Ted as he drew to a stop on the dock in front of her. He was not in a good mood.

  "Caro up yet?"

  Joey frowned. How could he know Caro was here? Dad had taken her car back to his hotel last night, so Ted couldn't have seen it parked out front "Ted, I don't—"

  "You've always been a lousy liar, Joey. So don't bother. Your father called me last night. I know Caro and the girls are here."

  "She was still sleeping last time I checked, Ted." Ash stepped off the dock, one arm slung around Joey's shoulder to propel her along beside him, and to support some of her weight. "Come on up to the house and have some coffee. Brit and Beth will have her awake any time now, if they don't already."

  Joey planted her feet and glared up at Ash, then turned her gaze on Ted. "Look, if my sister wants to see you, she'll let you know."

  Ted shook his head. "Not this time, Joey. I have to see her. We've got to talk this out, her and I." He opened his mouth to say more, then snapped it shut again. "How is she? Did she read the diary yet?"

  Joey frowned. "I can't believe that bastard told you..."

  "What, Joey? The precious family secret? I'm family, too, don't forget."

  Ash's arm tightened on her shoulder. "He had a right to know, honey. What's going on between Caro and your father is having a direct impact on Ted and Caro's marriage. You can't deny that."

  She tugged free. "The only thing hurting Ted's marriage to my sister is Ted." She whirled to face him, her breaths coming faster in her anger. "Sneaking out nights, lying about where you were going, spending huge sums of money on God knows what, mysterious phone calls and meetings at all hours. You think she's an idiot? You think she doesn't know what you've been up to?"

  "The only thing I've been up to, is looking out for my wife's hellion sister!" He gripped her shoulders as her jaw dropped. "Will you quit condemning me and—"

  "Looking out for me? What in hell is that supposed to mean? Dammit, Ted, don't spin me some fairy tale. I trusted you. I loved you like a brother, for God's sake, and you let me down. You let my sister down. You broke both our hearts when you were unfaithful."

  He only gaped, as if searching for words. But it was Ash's deep voice that broke the strained silence. "Just like your father did, right, Joey?"

  She closed her eyes at the pain of those arrowlike words hitting home. Then she opened them slowly and met Ted's tortured stare.

  "Joey...I was afraid it was you. I couldn't tell Caro. If she hadn't believed me she'd have hated me for thinking it, and if she had believed me it would have killed her. God knows I couldn't go to the police. I wanted to protect you from them, get you some help..."

  Joey puckered her face and shook her head. "What help? What are you talking about?"

  "The murders. Joey, you've been so obsessed with them, and since the beginning you've been...different. Strange, preoccupied. I knew your feelings for your father."

  She felt her eyes widen in horror. "You thought I was the Slasher?"

  He looked at the ground between them. "Not at first. At first I just wanted to know why you were so involved in the crimes. But once I hired the P.I. and began hearing his reports..." He shook his head. "There were the cigarette butts, the way you were seen at the crime scenes...and then this thing with Ash. Hell, Joey, what was I supposed to think?"

  "You hired a private investigator?"

  Ted nodded. "That's where the money went. Those were the secret meetings and odd phone calls. I just didn't want Caro to know."

  Joey felt she'd been hit with a hammer. She couldn't even justify feeling angry with Ted for suspecting her. Hadn't she been on the verge of suspecting he was the Slasher? She lowered her head, released all her breath in a rush. "God, you're an idiot, Ted." When she looked at him again she asked, "So do you still think I'm a crazed murderess?"

  "My P.I. says the Slasher has made two attempts on Ash, both while you were with him. I guess you're exonerated."

  "Your faith in me is astounding." She turned, and the three of them began walking again, toward the back door. "So what if your P.I. had found out I was the Slasher, Ted? What were you going to do then?"

  Ted's brow furrowed. "I have a stack of information on various mental hospitals in the shop."

  "Oh."

  When they walked inside, Ted was assaulted by his daughters, still in their matching purple nightgowns with a well-known dinosau
r on the front. They leapt into his arms and he caught them with practiced ease, one on each side. He kissed them both, then his gaze moved past them to Caro. She stood at the foot of the stairs in her regulation sweats, her long wavy hair pulled into a ponytail.

  He closed his eyes. "I've missed you, Caro."

  She nodded. "Me, too."

  "We need to talk."

  #

  Ash heaved a sigh of relief when the four of them left for an overnight getaway. God, the look of bliss on Caro's face after she and Ted had spent an hour talking alone had almost had Ash choking back tears. He no longer suspected Ted had anything to do with the murders. Partly due to instinct, but mainly because he had proof. While Caro and Joey were packing the girls' things upstairs, Ash had had a heart-to-heart with Ted. Not only had Ted produced the name of the P.I. he'd hired, but he had also shown Ash some of the reports he'd had from the man. It was obvious the P.I. had been investigating the Slasher killings and had been trying to find evidence of Joey's involvement, or lack thereof. Ted would hardly hire someone to find out if Joey was the Slasher, if he were the Slasher himself.

  Cross one more suspect off the list, he thought glumly. He hated to think Beverly Issacs was a killer. But it was looking more and more like that was the case.

  At least Caroline and the girls would be out of harm's way tonight and tomorrow. They'd all packed into the wagon to head up north to a popular theme park, where the girls could raise hell to their hearts' content, and Ted would have time to romance his wife.

  The lucky bastard.

  Ash looked to the sofa, where Joey had collapsed as if exhausted. She sat there now, and her gaze kept straying to that diary on the coffee table.

  "There's time now," he said softly. "You can read it if you want."

  She met his gaze, shook her head. "I don't know if I can."

  "I'll leave, give you some privacy—"

  "No. If you go, I know I won't be strong enough to do it."

  "Then..."

  "Read it with me?"

  Ash tilted his head slightly.

  "Sit beside me, and hold me close, and read it with me, Ash."

  There was so much in her eyes. Pain, fear and something else, reaching out to him with a magnetic pull. It was some sticky, invisible substance that seemed to want to meld him to her—soul to soul, pain to pain. It was an intensely private thing she was asking him to share. And he couldn't have refused her even if he'd wanted to.

  He sat beside her, and she curled close to him. He put an arm around her shoulders, and she pressed her head into the crook beneath his chin. She lifted a hand, reaching for the little book, but the hand stopped in midair and began to tremble.

  He kissed the top of her head and picked up the diary. He opened it to the first entry and held it low, so they both could read.

  #

  Clouds roiled outside, dark black masses blotted out the sun, and thunder reverberated in the distance. Joey sobbed as she hadn't done since she was a child. Violent, racking, uncontrollable spasms that tried to snap her diaphragm in two. And Ash held her tighter all the time. He kissed her. He made love to her with tender caresses and gentle touches and seemed to absorb part of her pain into himself. And later he bathed her face with a cool cloth.

  Her life had been a lie. Everything she'd ever believed about her parents, her family, had been make-believe. They'd never been in love. They'd both had someone else. They'd only remained together for their daughters, and neither could bring themselves to tell the truth.

  Her father had, last night. She hadn't believed him then. She still didn't want to believe any of this, but it was unavoidable now. All the proof she'd needed had been shown to her, in her mother's own hand.

  "You okay, Joey?"

  He was pulling a big, soft brush through her hair, his strokes soothing her aching head as he worked. God, he was going to a lot of trouble to make her feel better.

  She'd worshiped her parents once. Then she'd grieved for her mother and despised her father. And now...now...

  "I don't know how to feel about him, Ash."

  "Give it some time. It'll come to you. I promise."

  She shook her head. "I don't know."

  "It will. You're still reeling from the shock. In a day or two that will fade, and you'll know how to deal with this."

  She closed her eyes as he pulled the brush through her hair. Then he set the brush aside and replaced it with his fingers. "I couldn't have done this without you. You took away the pain, Ash, and I wish..."

  He moved around in front of her, knelt down and stared up into her eyes. "You wish?"

  "I wish I could do the same for you. I wish I could take away the hurt your mother caused." She saw his face tighten, but she caught it between her palms gently and she lowered her head to kiss him. "If I could go back in time, I would. I'd be with you in that closet every time. And I'd hold you, love you, until the door opened again."

  She saw his eyes widen in wonder, just before the telephone shrilled and broke the fragile bond she'd felt forming between them. Ash rose, averting his gaze. He reached for the phone as Joey searched her mind for some way to heal his oldest, deepest wound.

  He spoke softly, then hung up. "Ted," he told her, his eyes still not quite meeting hers.

  "Problem?"

  "They're worried about Felix. He was outside when they left and it's going to storm. We've been elected to drive over there, find the cat and put him in. Ted says you have a key."

  She nodded, glancing toward the darkness beyond the window. "We'd better hurry. It's going to pour any minute."

  Her prediction proved all too accurate. Ash drove Joey's car through the deluge, wipers swashing back and forth in a frantic attempt to clear the windshield. She hoped it would let up a little by the time they got to Caro's house, but it rained all the harder as they pulled to a stop in the driveway, huge droplets ricocheting off the car's hood like tiny explosions.

  After exchanging one long do-or-die glance, they both leapt out of the car and went in opposite directions, calling "Kitty, kitty" at the tops of their lungs just to be heard over the rain.

  Joey finally heard an answering pathetic yowl and followed the sound. Felix sat in the tree house, on the back lawn, peering down at her and crying over and over.

  "Ash, he's out here!"

  Ash joined her. Joey glanced at him, the way his hair was plastered to his head, the rivulets of water running down his nose. She laughed. He lifted his arms from his sides in a helpless gesture, then squinted at her. "Don't knock it, Princess, you're pretty soggy yourself." He hugged her hard, gave her a long, wet kiss, then strode purposefully toward the tree and mounted the ladder. "If this doesn't elevate me to prince status, then nothing will."

  He climbed the tree, picked up Felix and then struggled to hold on to the frightened eighteen-pound cat all the way back down. They ran around the house again, and Joey quickly unlocked the door.

  Inside, Ash put the cat down. He looked down at his dripping wet clothes, and at the puddles forming around their feet. "Now what?"

  Felix tilted his head up and yowled plaintively.

  "We'll have to borrow something of Caro and Ted's to wear home. They won't mind. Especially since we saved Felix from a fate worse than death for them."

  "You sure?"

  She nodded, reached down to scoop up the cat and led the way up the stairs. She pointed Ash toward the bedroom, while she carried Felix into the bathroom to rub him down with a towel. A few minutes later, Ash joined her, wearing a pair of Ted's jeans and a sweater. He reached for another towel and rubbed his hair dry.

  "Hurry and change, Joey."

  "Felix could catch pneumonia."

  "So could you."

  Their eyes met, and Joey's hands stilled on the cat. Felix twisted from her grip and jumped gracefully to the floor, his fur sticking up in odd patterns, a black patch laying one way, a white patch another, some sticking straight up. Ash swallowed and cleared his throat. "Might as well hang o
ut here until the rain stops, hmm?"

  Joey nodded. "Looks like it might be awhile."

  "Yeah. I'd better let Rad know where to reach us."

  "There's a phone in the kitchen. Why don't you see if you can scare up a hot drink while you're at it. Caro usually has cocoa mix in the cupboard."

  "Okay." Ash started to turn away. Then he looked back at her. There was a longing in his eyes, a glow of something she didn't recognize. "Joey, I..." He bit his lip, then shook his head. "Later. Change now, your lips are turning blue."

  Ilove you. That was what she'd thought he was going to say. Joey, I love you. So was that her psychic receptor picking up on a phrase that was practically screaming from his mind? Or was it wishful thinking rearing its persistent head yet again? She watched him go, then shivered and hurried into Caro's bedroom to find some dry clothes.

  It didn't take long. She pulled out a pair of warm, comfy gray sweats and an oversized T-shirt. She found some thick socks and even borrowed a pair of tennis shoes from Caro's closet. Brushing her hair and wielding the blow-dryer, she took out most of the moisture.

  As she worked she realized that she hadn't been hurting over the diary's revelations. It seemed the shock had been what rocked her at first, and now the knowledge seemed to be settling in her mind and in her heart, rather than eating away at them. She glanced toward the phone and thought about calling her father at the hotel. At least just to tell him she'd read the diary. She recalled the pain in his face when she'd spoken to him, called him a liar. She'd branded him a cheat, a heartless bastard. She'd been wrong. She was still angry, or perhaps just hurt, that her parents had lied to her. But she'd convicted an innocent man of the wrong crime. Didn't he deserve this? Just one, brief call?

  Ash ought to be finished with the phone by now. She reached for it, still undecided, but when she brought it to her ear, she heard voices. Ash's and Rad's. She shook her head and started to replace the receiver.