Now That I've Found You

by Bella Andre

  Neither of them said anything more about it as they took off their coats and boots and headed inside. Drake gave Oscar a good rubdown with a towel, and once free, the dog did a frisky circle run around the living room, knocking the small canvas off the leather chair.

  "It looks like a kindergarten project," Rosa said as she hurried over to pick it up. "I hope you don't mind my wasting one of your canvases."

  He'd wanted to ask more than once if he could look at what she'd been working on the day before, but he kept getting distracted by taking off her clothes and loving her. "Can I see it?"

  "It's just a hobby," she prevaricated, but at least she handed him the canvas instead of continuing to hide it.

  She'd stitched an ocean of blues and greens into the small canvas, but instead of simply echoing the view out his front door, she'd approached it in the way he imagined Picasso would have during his Cubist period, if the artist had used thread instead of paint.

  He was about to tell her how talented she was when she said, "Now you know why I don't share my stuff on the show. I see things in a weird way--not like other people do. Stitching on clothes is one thing, but the other stuff I come up with?" She shook her head. "It's not what anyone wants to see from me."

  "How do you know that?"

  She looked at him as though he were several brain cells short of a full set. "The stuff I make is weird. Everyone at the network agrees. The producers. The PR team."

  "If they all agree, then none of them know a damn thing about art." He moved closer. "Or is that really the reason you don't share your art with anyone? Because you're seriously talented."

  "You're sleeping with me. That colors your opinion."

  "Bullshit." He moved closer again, close enough that her canvas was now pinned between them. "I'm sleeping with you. You have a brilliant gift. Those are two totally separate things. People need to see this, Rosa, see what you can do. See things in a new way--your way."

  "No!" Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes wild as she pushed away from him, dropping the canvas so that he had to catch it before it hit the floor. "Everything else in my life is public. Open. Exposed. I need one thing, one private thing that I don't have to share. What I do with my hands, with my brain, behind closed doors, is mine." Her mouth wobbled a little as she added, "I thought closed doors meant it was mine, anyway."

  The fury that rose in Drake whenever he thought about the pictures that had been taken without her consent was familiar now, but not at all dulled by repetition. On the contrary, he got angrier every single time. And now, he hated that she felt she needed to hide her art. He couldn't imagine not being able to share his creations, instead hoarding them in attics and locked closets. It would be like strangling the core of what made him who he was.

  "I want to help." He made himself un-fist his hands, tried to calm down so that he wouldn't feed her tension with his. "Tell me how I can help."

  "You already have. You helped with my car and got me to the motel and have fed me more than once. You're the friend I needed more than anything right now, but never thought I'd find."

  "I didn't know I needed one either," he told her, "but then you showed up in the middle of a rainstorm, and it turned out I did." He paused before adding, "Friends let friends help, especially with the tough stuff."

  "Thank you," she said in a soft voice. "I know you mean well, but I can't see that there's anything you, or anyone else, can do at this point to erase what's out there."

  "Like I said before, my family is really well connected."

  "Who could be connected enough to help get rid of the pictures?"

  "My cousin is Smith Sullivan."

  "Smith Sullivan? The movie star?" Her eyes widened in a way that was almost comical, she was that shocked. "You're one of those Sullivans?"

  He nodded. "My brother Alec is really well connected too, since he sells half his planes to people in TV and movies. And I've got another cousin, Ian, who's a billionaire. He's got to know someone who might be able to help."

  "Wow. I had no idea. None at all. Although," she said as she looked back toward the pictures hanging in his hallway, "I probably should have seen the family resemblance. Still," she said with a shake of her head, "even if one of them was willing to get involved--and I definitely wouldn't want to drag any of them into my mess--I already know there's no way to erase the pictures."

  Ignoring the part about dragging his family into her mess for the moment, he said, "Maybe erasing them isn't an option--not unless my sister can come up with some new software. But what if there's a way to make sure no site or magazine ever runs them again?"

  "How?"

  "Someone like my cousin has got to have some power over the media. I'm thinking if he takes a stance against what happened to you, the major players aren't going to want to piss him off."

  "Smith is easily one of the most powerful people in Hollywood, and I'm sure no one wants to get on his bad side," she agreed. "But why would he do that for me? For someone he's never even met, especially someone from reality TV, which is about as far south of his Oscar-winning movies as it gets."

  "Because he's a good guy, for one. And because family supports family."

  "Of course he should support you. But I'm not family."

  "You're with me, so you are."

  "No one is supposed to know I'm here, or even that we've met." He watched panic bloom as she added, "You agreed."

  "I did, but things aren't that simple anymore." He put down her artwork and reached to pull her close again. "You're not a stranger now, Rosa."

  He weighed letting out the word love. Wanted more than anything to tell her just how deep his feelings for her ran. But he knew she wasn't ready to hear it yet, not when she was still trying to keep to an agreement that had been made before they'd come to know each other.

  Still, he needed her to know, "I'm falling for you. My sister saw it in my paintings, saw what I feel for you, saw that I was already falling that first day."

  She swallowed hard, shook her head again. "You can't."

  "I am. And I know I should have told you this before now, but that first day, after I took you to the motel, I called Smith."

  "You did what?" She yanked herself out of his arms, and he made himself let her go so that she could let the steam out. "How could you? You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone we'd met."

  "I kept my promise, Rosa, but I also asked him if there was anything he could do to help you. I told him I couldn't say more, just that it mattered to me."

  "He's not stupid. He must have put two and two together."

  "Good."

  "I've already told you why that isn't good. People will think you've lost your mind if you're with me. They'll look at your paintings differently. You'll lose their respect."

  "If this is what losing my mind feels like, I'm all for it. And I learned early on that people's reactions to my paintings don't have a damn thing to do with me, but everything to do with them. As for respect? As long as I can look myself in the mirror every day, I'm good."

  "You don't know how mean, how horrible people can be."

  He could see in her expression just how much vitriol she'd had to deal with over the years, and it only infuriated him further. It wasn't just her mom and the creep photographer from whom he needed to defend her--it was millions of strangers who didn't know the first thing about her, even if they thought they did.

  "I don't want you to end up hurt because of what people think of me." Oscar got up to lean against her side, and she looked down at him. "You either."

  "No, damn it," he said, his intention to tread carefully flying out the window when every word she said was taking them closer and closer to good-bye. "You think staying is what will hurt me--and I'm not just talking about staying in Montauk. Staying with me wherever we are, wherever we go. But it's exactly the opposite. The only way you can hurt me is to run."

  She didn't say anything in response to that, simply stared at him with big, sad eyes. She wanted to believ
e him, he could see that. And it was impossible to deny the depth of their physical connection. But after being burned so badly, she obviously still needed time.

  Time that was running out way too fast.

  "I understand that you're wary about getting into a relationship while everything in your life is in flux. But I'm pretty sure we don't get to pick and choose when the right person comes along." His chest clenched as he pulled her tightly against him. "And I sure as hell don't intend to lose you now that I've finally found you."

  Chapter Twenty

  Never in a million years would Rosa have imagined she'd meet a man like Drake during the darkest hours of her life. But she had. Only, where anyone else would have been reveling in being with someone so wonderful, she was doing everything she possibly could to remind him--and herself--why it could never work. Especially not right now, when everything in her life was such a total, freaking mess.

  But what if Drake was right about not getting to pick and choose when the right person walked into your life? And what if she finally let herself stop worrying about hurting him and allowed herself to fall head over heels in love with him instead?

  Oh God.

  Love.

  She was falling in love with him.

  If Oscar hadn't been sitting against her side keeping her steady, she might have toppled over from the shock of realizing just how deep her feelings ran.

  She'd already told Drake how scared she was of losing her family. Now, with the shock of her realization still vibrating through her, she had to tell him, "I don't want to lose you either."

  Yet again, his arms came around her. But this time he followed with a kiss that felt like the other half of his vow. "You won't," he promised.

  Rosa was so afraid to trust again. But Drake had been nothing but honest with her from the start. If he said Smith would want to help, and wouldn't be put off by talking with a reality TV star, she needed to stop doubting him.

  Plus, ever since she'd seen the short clip of the entertainment "news" program playing on the TV in her motel room, Rosa kept returning to the word the lawyer had used: cyber-attack. She hadn't been able to see past the shock, and the shame, at first. And she'd always assumed that online bullying came with the celebrity territory. She'd tried her best to minimize its effect on her life by making sure her PR team blocked the worst of them from her social media feeds.

  But as she thought more about what the lawyer had said, she began to see that this wasn't just someone saying mean things about the way she looked or how empty they thought her brain was. So even though her mother had said they were going to sic their best legal team on the guy who'd taken the pictures, was there more that could be done?

  "Actually," she said, her heart jumping fast in her chest, "I'd appreciate it if you'd talk to Smith again. But if he doesn't want to get involved--"

  "He will." Drake's smile warmed her all over. "Although I think you should speak directly to him this time."

  Her heart jumped even faster. But she knew Drake was right. She couldn't ask someone to be brave for her if she wasn't willing to do the same. "I just hope I don't come off like a geeky superfan."

  Drake grinned even wider, obviously pleased that she'd agreed. "Knowing him, he'll eat it up. I'll text to see when he's available."

  When he walked out of the kitchen to get his cell phone, Rosa dropped to the floor and put her arms around Oscar, glad for his warm, furry body against hers. "You really are a sweetheart, aren't you?" she whispered. She had always loved dogs, but with her travel schedule, there was no way she could have one. Maybe if she started over...

  Her head immediately hurt just thinking about it. Especially if starting over would mean leaving everything she knew behind, including her family. Although if she imagined a future with Drake at her side, suddenly things didn't seem quite so bad, or so scary.

  Was she crazy to let herself think this way? To dream about actually having a future with him? Should she be working harder to guard her heart, to keep her walls up, so that if they couldn't make it work, it wouldn't hurt so bad?

  "Smith is free now."

  Before she could change her mind, Drake put the phone in video mode and dialed and got down on the floor with Rosa and Oscar so that she could see Smith on screen.

  "Hey, cuz. Good to hear from you again."

  "Same here. I'd like to introduce you to my good friend Rosa."

  Smith smiled, the million-watt movie-star smile she'd seen a dozen times over the years at the theater. "Great to meet you."

  She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She'd met plenty of famous people over the past few years, but Smith had her star struck. "I'm such a big fan." Ugh, she had promised herself she wasn't going to be a goof, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't believe she'd ever thought Drake's family was normal. Movie stars and billionaires and pro athletes were about as far from normal as it got.

  "Valentina and I feel the same way about you."

  She was stunned. "How can that be?"

  Smith laughed, a warm sound that reminded her of Drake's laugh. Drake's was sexier, of course, but boy, did the two men have a lot of overlap. "We've both watched your show over the years. When I'm out on the road and missing my own family, I enjoy living vicariously through yours for a little while."

  Rosa was beyond shocked. Not only that he'd watched her show, but that he'd actually enjoyed it. Her heart squeezed knowing that her family had touched him in some way.

  "Thank you for saying that, and for even taking this call when I know how busy you are. I hate the thought of asking you for help--"

  "Don't be." His expression shifted straight from friendly to intense. "What happened to you is just plain wrong. If any of the women I love were violated that way..." He scowled. "I want to help, Rosa. Valentina and I have been thinking about how we can. I was actually just about to get in touch with Drake to run our idea past him. It's better to run it directly by you, though."

  Rosa felt so surrounded by unexpected kindness that she nearly dissolved into a big puddle of tears right there on the cabin floor with Drake flanking her on one side, Oscar on the other. "I'm sure anything you do would be really great."

  "I'm aiming for a whole lot better than great."

  Rosa had never acted or even wanted to, but she could see what a thrill it would be to work with Smith in any capacity. Like Drake, he was just so solid. So steady and confident, but without even the slightest cocky edge.

  "I'd like to release a public statement stating that I won't work with any press--both online and in print--that continues to print the pictures. I'll follow it up, of course, with a personal call or note to the biggest, so that there can be no question about where I stand on the issue."

  "That would be--" Her throat had such a big lump in it that there was no way she could have spoken past it if Drake hadn't been beside her holding her hand. "Absolutely amazing. But what about the movies you're promoting? I'd hate for your stance on my behalf to put your business at risk."

  "I'm not worried about my business, Rosa. But I am worried about the daughter I hope to have one day. We've got to make this world safer for her. This is just one small step, but hopefully it will move us in the right direction."

  The lump in her throat finally won, tears spilling down her cheeks as she said, "Thank you."

  "I wish I could do more." And she believed he truly did. "I'll call you if I feel I need to check in again before making the statement, okay?"

  She nodded, knowing better than to try to speak. After thanking his cousin, Drake disconnected, then focused on gently brushing her cheeks dry. When she had herself under slightly better control, she asked, "Is everyone in your family like Smith?"

  "We're all human and can have our bad days, but yeah, Sullivans tend to be pretty great all around."

  "He's doing so much for me, going out on such a limb--it makes me realize that I need to start doing that too." She was silent for a few moments as the realization of what her next step
should be suddenly became clear. Her heart was pounding, but it wasn't fear driving her pulse for once. "Instead of turning off your phone, do you mind if I use it? I'd like to do some research on cyber-attacks."

  His smile made her heart race even faster for an entirely different reason. Rosa knew that what she was going to find online wasn't going to be fun, but if Drake was her reward at the end of the tunnel?

  Well, then, she was starting to think she might be able to deal with just about anything that came her way.

  *

  An hour later, Drake took the phone from her and shut it down.

  "Why did you do that?"

  "Your expression has gotten grimmer and grimmer every five minutes. I can't stand to see the light go out in your eyes."

  "There's just so much bad stuff that happens. Cyber-stalking, hacking, private pictures people post out of revenge after a breakup..."

  "Come here." Drake took her hand and walked outside with her so that they were gazing at the ocean. He hoped she saw the way the light sparkled off the water, that she noticed the gulls swooping down to play in the surf and the squirrels chasing each other up and down tree trunks.

  "There's good stuff too," she murmured. "Thanks for reminding me."

  "More good than bad, I hope."

  She wasn't looking at the view anymore as she said, "So much good that I keep pinching myself to check that it's real. To see if you can possibly be real."

  The fact that she had started to think of what had happened to her as a crime rather than as her fault--and that she'd just trusted his family not to screw her over when it was damned hard to trust anyone at all after what she'd been through--felt to Drake like big steps in the right direction.

  One where she stayed with him and Oscar, making their lives warmer, brighter, and a hell of a lot more full of life.

  Drake framed her face in his hands and let himself take a good, long visual drink of her beauty before he lowered his mouth to hers and drank from her lips. The sparks that were always simmering just beneath the surface instantly flared, hot and wild.

  "You always know," she breathed against his lips. "Always know exactly what I need to make everything feel so much better."

  He had already begun to strip her clothes away when he felt a faint shiver move through her. Scooping her up, he took her back inside the cabin, telling Oscar to go lie down in the bedroom as he kicked the front door shut. He took her to the leather chair, then sat with her straddling his lap.