Fearless (Pier 70 Book 2)

by Nicole Edwards

  I’m sorry for trying to inhale you.

  Was that kiss as good for you as it was for me?

  When we get back to the room, can I help you get the sand out of your shorts?

  None of those were appropriate questions, and based on the rigidness of Dare’s spine, he wouldn’t find the humor in any of them, so Noah kept his mouth shut. Putting one foot in front of the other wasn’t easy when he was preoccupied with admiring Dare. His eyes were drawn to his beautifully sculpted physique—that perfect ass, the narrow waist, wide upper body—as well as the script inked on his shoulder.

  We only regret the chances we didn’t take.

  Perhaps it was a little presumptuous, but Noah had to wonder if that had something to do with him. Did Dare regret walking away from him? Had he thought about him since then?

  Noah damn sure regretted letting Dare walk away and not only because he was in the position he was in at the moment. He’d thought about the man plenty in the years that had separated them. Granted, he’d never thought they’d be face-to-face again, and he damn sure hadn’t anticipated kissing Dare.

  But he had. And now he wasn’t sure he would be able to walk away without getting some sort of closure.

  Before he knew it, they were back on the ship and walking into their cabin. Noah narrowly missed getting hit in the face with the door when Dare released it, the damn thing swinging closed.

  He didn’t get a chance to say anything before Dare had stormed into the bathroom and slid the door shut, effectively putting an end to a damn near perfect morning.

  Right up to the point when Noah had fucked it all up.

  Not that this was the first time. Noah had a track record of screwing shit up where Dare was concerned. Back when they’d been together, Dare had been the attentive one, always ensuring Noah was taken care of. There had never been any doubt in Noah’s mind that Dare had loved him back then. And in the years since, Noah had always compared every man he’d met, every potential relationship he could’ve had, with that one. No one had ever lived up to Noah’s expectations. No one but Dare.

  And now here they were again, fifteen years later. The sexual tension was a living, breathing thing. Something Noah couldn’t ignore no matter how hard he tried.

  For some reason, he had thought they were on the same page, which was why Noah had kissed Dare.

  He peered up at the closed bathroom door.

  Apparently he’d jumped to conclusions where Dare was concerned. The wrong conclusion.

  Taking a deep breath, he relaxed his shoulders. He had to fix this. He had to find a way to apologize.

  Not wanting to wait, Noah took a step toward the bathroom. He stopped before his hand was on the door. He had two choices. He could pursue this and risk being rejected by Dare, which would hurt. Or he could ignore the attraction and let Dare slip through his fingers once again.

  Having spent the last fifteen years wishing there had been a different outcome where he and Dare were concerned, Noah knew there was only one right answer.

  Thirteen

  The instant he had the bathroom door closed, Dare flipped on the water, barely resisting the urge to put his fist through the wall. The emotions that churned inside him were so damn powerful they stole his breath.

  Anger mixed with need, hate mixed with love, fear mixed with hope... It consumed him in ways he’d never wanted to experience again. It was because of Noah and the hell he’d endured after their breakup that Dare hadn’t let himself feel this way for anyone since. Only Noah. Back then.

  Not one single man had held a candle to Noah in the years since, and Dare hated the idea that no other man ever would, but he was beginning to think that might be the case.

  Noah had fucking kissed him.

  And it had been good.

  So good.

  Like, cheesecake good.

  Sighing, Dare pushed his shorts down and left them on the floor while he allowed the water to wash the sand from his body. He didn’t reach for the soap, needing a few minutes to get his bearings. Shit, he was surprised that they’d made it back to the ship. His brain was overrun by thoughts of Noah, memories bombarding him. From back then as well as now.

  All the time they’d spent together, all the years they’d spent apart. How much he had loved this man, how much he had hated him in equal measure.

  Okay, that wasn’t true. Dare had never hated Noah. He had wanted to, but no matter how hard he’d tried, he’d never gotten to that point.

  “Son of a bitch,” he groaned, planting his hands on the wall and leaning over, attempting to catch his breath. If he didn’t know better, he would think he was having a panic attack.

  But that couldn’t be the case.

  He was stronger than this. The emotions didn’t own him; the feelings didn’t control him.

  Not anymore.

  The sound of the door sliding open had his body tensing, but he fought the urge to turn around. He couldn’t face Noah right now.

  “What do you want?” he grumbled.

  The door slid closed again and he was grateful that Noah had opted to give him—

  “Fuck.” He moaned when Noah’s strong arms wrapped around his body, hugging him from behind.

  Dare could feel the heat of Noah’s naked body at his back, the smooth skin of his chest, the hard ridge of his dick…

  Memories assaulted him. Not once in all the years since Dare had walked away from Noah had he ever felt this overwhelming intensity the way he did in Noah’s arms. It was hard to explain what it felt like. Sort of like those first moments when a roller coaster crested the first big hill. There was a nervous flutter in his stomach, and he felt as though his lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen.

  And he liked that feeling.

  Which was stupid, because never once in the fifteen years since he’d walked away had anyone hurt him the way Noah had. Then again, Dare had never loved anyone the way he’d loved Noah, either.

  For some reason, Noah had the power to shatter him, and he didn’t fucking like that feeling one bit.

  “We can’t do this.” Dare kept his tone firm, even though there wasn’t much conviction behind the words.

  “We aren’t doing anything,” Noah whispered, his voice barely heard over the sound of the water.

  No? Sure didn’t feel that way. Dare sighed. “I think it’s safe to say that two naked men in the shower together doesn’t qualify as not doing anything.”

  Noah chuckled. “Said no straight man ever.”

  Okay, fine. He had him there.

  Although his body was rioting, his dick hard as stone, Dare managed to remain where he was, his hands on the wall, facing away from Noah.

  “Why’d you kiss me?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Dare hated himself for asking the question.

  Noah didn’t respond immediately, but he didn’t pull away, either. Dare could feel Noah’s breath against his back, the warmth of his body practically wrapped around him. He hated the feeling almost as much as he loved it.

  There was a deep sigh, followed by, “You’re too much temptation for me.”

  The honesty in those words surprised Dare, but the response didn’t. Back when they’d been together, the sex had been phenomenal. Day and night, they could fuck each other into oblivion, never getting enough. But looking back, Dare knew that was all it had been between them. At least for Noah.

  “I’m not that same guy anymore,” Dare said, putting words to his thoughts.

  “I’m not, either.”

  Noah’s lips slid over his shoulder blade and Dare closed his eyes. As much as he wanted this, to spend a few minutes losing himself in this man’s arms, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t walk away again. It had damn near killed him the first time, and he wasn’t about to spend the next fifteen years trying to forget the only man he’d ever loved.

  “Don’t do this, Noah,” Dare finally said, forcing the words to be hard.

  Those strong arms released him and still Dare didn’t turn around.
Something squeezed in his chest, a memory of how easy it had been for Noah to let go when Dare had spent years trying to get over the man.

  Without another word, Noah left the small bathroom stall, leaving Dare there to try to collect himself. It wasn’t easy, but he’d been through worse.

  Funny how his best and worst moments all centered around the same man.

  Then again, there really wasn’t anything funny about it at all.

  Although it wasn’t easy, Noah forced himself to walk away from Dare. He dried himself off, grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and left the cabin while the shower was still running. Giving Dare some space seemed like the only logical thing to do.

  What the fuck had he been thinking?

  Whatever it was, Noah knew he damn sure hadn’t been using his big head when he’d made the decision to kiss Dare. Or to join Dare in the shower. As for the latter, he had desperately wanted to fix the damage he’d done. Instead, he’d only made it worse.

  He made it to one of the outdoor bars and ordered a beer, not wanting to get blitzed but hoping for something to relieve some of his tension. With bottle in hand, he wound his way through the crowded pool area and found an empty lounge chair at the back, shielded by a big blue awning.

  He didn’t know how much time passed as he sat there and watched the people around him. Happy families, loving couples, excited children, even groups of friends, all there enjoying themselves. Part of him was envious of what these people had. They had each other.

  Unlike them, Noah had spent the better part of the last fifteen years alone, by his own choice. After Dare had left, after his father had died, Noah had cut himself off from everyone. He’d immediately applied for the fire academy, and when he was accepted, he hadn’t looked back.

  All of his time and energy had been focused on his career. Then the roofing opportunity had come along, and he’d found a way to spend nearly every waking moment working. Until now, it had been enough. Or maybe it hadn’t and he’d merely been fooling himself.

  “What’re you doing out here?”

  Noah squinted over his shoulder only to find his stepsister standing beside him. She was wearing a bikini and a sarong, her blonde hair pulled into some fancy updo, perfectly styled. She was all dolled up and ready for…

  What the hell was she all dolled up for? The wedding wasn’t for another few days. Minus the dress, she looked ready to walk down the aisle herself.

  He remembered she’d asked a question. “Same thing you are.” Sounded good, although he seriously doubted that was the case. Milly probably wasn’t running away from a naked man from her past.

  “I doubt that,” she said, chuckling as she took a seat beside him.

  Okay, maybe she could read his mind.

  Curious, he glanced her way. “Why are you here?”

  “Because I’m driving everyone crazy.”

  “But that’s your job,” he teased.

  “I guess. Coordinating the wedding isn’t all that easy.”

  Noah grinned at Milly, taking a long pull on his beer. “I wasn’t talking about that. I was referring to you being Milly.”

  “Ha ha. Funny.” Milly glanced over at him. “So, how was the beach excursion?”

  Noah frowned, turning his attention back to the people. “I fucked it up.”

  “How’d you manage that?”

  Dropping his head back, Noah closed his eyes. “I kissed Dare.”

  “I knew it! I knew he was the one who got away.”

  Well, that was one way to put it, though that sounded far more romantic than it actually was.

  “Spill, big brother. I want to know everything.”

  “Trust me, you don’t.” She really didn’t, he could assure her of that.

  “You loved him, didn’t you?”

  Although her tone was still curious, he could sense the sympathy there, as well. Perhaps that was how he found himself spilling his guts.

  “We dated a long time ago. Fifteen years ago. Dare was just a kid at the time, but things had gotten somewhat serious, I guess.”

  “You’re older than him?”

  Noah nodded. “By a few years, yeah.”

  “What do you mean by serious? As in, you loved him?”

  He nodded again.

  “How long were y’all together?”

  “A little over two years.”

  “So why’d y’all break up?”

  I was stupid. He managed to keep that to himself. “Dare was looking for something serious; I wasn’t.”

  “But you said you loved him. What could’ve possibly been more serious than that?”

  Noah turned his head to find Milly watching him, her expression wrought with disbelief.

  “He wanted to take things to the next level. Move in together. It wasn’t the right time.”

  “You weren’t ready for that?”

  “Oh, I was ready,” he blurted.

  “So what was the holdup?”

  “Dare was only nineteen. He was too damn young to settle down with someone.”

  “I’m confused. I thought you said he wanted to take things to the next level?”

  “He did.”

  “So why would he think he was too young?”

  “He didn’t.” And that was the problem.

  Milly cleared her throat. “So you thought he was too young? Did you tell him that?”

  Oh, yeah. He’d told him, all right. He took a sip from his beer as he nodded.

  “Did Dare agree?”

  Of course not. “No.”

  Milly snorted. “I’m usually pretty adept at keeping up with conversations, but I’ll admit, I don’t have a freaking clue where you’re going with this. Let me see if I’ve got this straight.” Milly held up a hand and started ticking things off on her perfectly manicured fingers. “Dare was nineteen. He wanted to move in with you. You loved him, and it sounds like he loved you. But you thought he was too young.”

  “That’s the gist of it.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Twenty-three.”

  “Oh, well there you go. You were a man of the world by then. I can clearly see why you got to tell him he was too young.”

  Noah narrowed his eyes at Milly, fully expecting to see the sarcasm dripping off her lips.

  Her words made him defensive. “You know Dare. He’s not the epitome of maturity, even now.”

  Milly’s golden eyebrows angled down. “Not sure I follow. I do know Dare. Maybe not as well as you did back then, but the guy I know is pretty damned mature.”

  Was she serious? Were they talking about the same person? Noah shook his head, disagreeing with her. “He’s always making jokes and never takes anything seriously.”

  Milly nodded briefly, seemingly understanding his point of view, and Noah let out a sigh of relief, grateful that she understood.

  That was until she opened her mouth.

  “Looks to me like you mistook his fun-loving side for immaturity, because the guy I know runs a marina with three of his closest friends. He goes to work every single day, takes care of business. No matter what. He’s got a grandmother he financially supports, not to mention visits at least twice a week, every week. And don’t get me started on Lulu.”

  “Who’s Lulu?”

  “The marina dog,” she explained. “Dare refuses to leave Lulu at the marina overnight by herself, although Cam and Roan both live in apartments above the place, so he takes her home and pays a ridiculous amount to his landlord just to keep her there overnight. Sure, he’s fun to be around, and he always keeps everyone laughing, but I damn sure don’t find fault in that.”

  Okay, not how he’d pictured this playing out at all. For once, he had hoped someone would be on his side. Then again, after all that, he wasn’t even on his side.

  After sucking down more of his beer, Noah dropped his head back and stared up at the blue awning. “I fucked up, Mill. I fucked up then and I fucked up now.”

  “How did it end?” she asked, her to
ne softer than moments before.

  He knew she wasn’t talking about today. “He left in the middle of the night. Packed what few things he’d had at my place, and I never saw him again.”

  “You didn’t go after him?”

  Noah shook his head. He’d wanted to, but he never had. In his defense, he had a damn good reason for that.

  “Well, you’re an idiot.”

  His head snapped around, his gaze slamming into Milly’s. He was just about to tell her exactly what he thought when she held up her hand and smiled.

  “And he’s an idiot. And anyone who looks at the two of you would be an idiot if they didn’t see just how much you still love each other.”

  It was his turn to snort. “It’s been fifteen years, Mill. I’m thinking love’s no longer the problem.”

  “No?” Milly leaned forward. “So you’re telling me you don’t love him?”

  “I didn’t say that, but I’m not admitting it, either.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck. I came face-to-face with him less than twenty-four hours ago, after fifteen fucking years. I’m not sure I understand how I’m even having this conversation.”

  “Sometimes time doesn’t matter. When you really, truly love someone, I don’t think that ever dies. No matter how much time you spend apart.”

  Noah shook his head, not wanting to agree.

  But still, he couldn’t deny it, either, because, unfortunately, Milly had nailed it.

  Fourteen

  Before getting dressed and resigning himself to finding something to eat, Dare had spent the last couple of hours alone, lying on his bed in his cabin, staring at the ceiling, and trying to figure out how things had gone so wrong so quickly. One minute he and Noah were making a pact that they would survive the trip without jumping one another, and the next minute Noah was kissing him.

  Worst part, Dare wanted Noah to kiss him again.

  And again. And…

  Damn it. It was all he could fucking think about.

  Except hooking up wouldn’t be good for either of them, because once they left this ship, it wasn’t like Dare would see Noah again. They’d built lives for themselves, and although Dare didn’t know much about Noah, other than he’d become a firefighter, he had to assume that Noah had a full life—one that didn’t include Dare in it. And based on the way Noah had dodged his question earlier, Noah had no intention of allowing Dare to be part of it, either.