Red Eyes MC: Books 1 - 3

by Grey, Blair

  I ignored that and pressed on. “Ray, you’ve always been like a second father to me. And Red Eyes has been my family. You guys have been here for me, for my whole life.” I paused. “But as I’m sure you realize, my position here in the club is rapidly becoming uncomfortable, to say the least.” Ray opened his mouth to say something, but I held up a hand. “No, let me finish,” I said. To my surprise, he fell silent.

  Respect. Even when I was an insolent brat, challenging him at every turn, Ray respected me. And I respected him. I only hoped that he agreed with my plan, or else I knew there was no way I was ever getting out of the MC.

  “As much as I love and appreciate all of this, I think we both know it’s not a good fit for me,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s nothing to do with Red Eyes, not exactly. I just need something more in my life.”

  Ray sighed and poured us each a drink. “You’re going to do what Will did,” he surmised. “One final sacrifice, and then you want me to cut you free.”

  “Pretty much,” I admitted, taking a sip of my whiskey. “But I’m not going back to school. I’ve already done all that.” I tried to smile, but Ray didn’t look amused. He didn’t look much of anything, really. I started to feel nervous. “You must have seen this coming.”

  “I did,” Ray sighed. “And you’re right. I know you’re right. But I can’t say that I like it.” He paused. “Even when you’ve challenged me, you’ve been one of the most loyal club members that I could ever ask for. I always could trust you to have my back.”

  “Hey, vice versa,” I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

  “What are you going to do with the rest of your life, anyway? Run after this girl of yours?”

  “Maybe,” I admitted. “And maybe do something I’ve never done before. Like teach.”

  Ray looked like he was trying not to laugh. “Teach? Really?”

  “I’ve always liked academics,” I said defensively.

  “No, I know,” Ray said. He shook his head. “Sorry, it’s just hard to believe.” He stared down into his glass, swirling the liquid around. “One last mission, and then I cut you free,” he finally agreed, looking up at me. “But if I don’t agree with the mission, you don’t do it. Is that understood?”

  “Absolutely,” I said, having expected him to say that. “But you’re going to have to start recruiting more members to the core group or else you’re going to be pretty short-handed.”

  Ray snorted. “I’ve already been thinking that, ever since Will took a step back so that he could focus on his studies. But we’ll pull in help from some of the other non-core members for now.”

  “Makes sense,” I said, nodding.

  “So what’s the plan?” Ray said.

  “I think you’re right that we need to get the sheriff looking at the Unknowns, rather than focusing on Red Eyes,” I said. “But I think there’s a quicker way to go about it.”

  34

  Leila

  Friday

  Sometimes, I wished that I had a normal work schedule. You know, where Fridays were actually Fridays. Where I could look forward to two days off, back to back, with no work. Instead, I was pulling a long Friday shift, and I still had work to look forward to over the weekend. And where usually I enjoyed those Friday shifts, since they tended to be busier than most other days of the week, today it just seemed like I didn’t have the energy to pull through.

  I didn’t want to let my personal life affect my work, but I couldn’t seem to help it. I wanted to blame it on the pregnancy, but I knew it was more to do with my mental state than anything else. Two days off would have been like a mini-vacation. It would have felt like paradise. All I wanted to do this weekend was strip down, crawl into bed, order takeout, and watch crappy TV dramas.

  Although, to be honest, I couldn’t decide if that would be better or worse, after the week I’d had. Two whole days off might give me too much time to dwell on things. Maybe it was better that I kept myself busy.

  But at some point, I was going to need to process things. I just didn’t even know where to begin. I was pregnant, and not because of the artificial insemination procedure I had been planning on for weeks. No, this baby wasn’t the son of some Irish cutie with soulful blue eyes and a talent for music.

  He or she was the child of some biker dude who was tangled up in one of the most powerful MCs in New Mexico.

  I had done my research once I had gotten over the initial shock of it. Or once I had quit crying in Rachel’s kitchen, rather. I had read everything I could find online about the Red Eyes. There wasn’t much. Then, I had called up one of Dad’s old friends, the guy who had practically raised me while Dad was out drinking and fighting his life away. I was just trying to figure out how much trouble I was really in. What had I just gotten myself into the middle of?

  It didn’t sound good.

  I hadn’t talked to Bobby in years, so he had known something was up before I even said anything. “Make it quick,” he’d muttered under his breath. “Your dad’s going to get curious otherwise.”

  “Red Eyes,” I said, and that was all I got out.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve gotten yourself mixed up with them,” Bobby groaned. “Red Eyes owns this area. The city, the state. Jesus, I don’t know, they might even own the whole southwestern part of the country. They’re bad news, sweetheart. Bad, bad news.” He paused. “Now you listen close because I’m not going to repeat this. Your dad was in thick with them when they first started. But he turned on them. Wanted a bigger slice of the profits. He was skimming off the top. Ray Thompson—he’s their leader—he turned a blind eye to it for a while, but your dad just kept getting worse. Your dad didn’t decide to leave Las Cruces. He fled.”

  I frowned and shook my head. “But there are some guys in Red Eyes who don’t seem to know him that well,” I protested.

  “This was all years and years ago. When you were younger. Your dad’s been back to Las Cruces since, but when’s the last time you can remember him having a motorcycle? He told them he was on the straight and narrow. That he didn’t want anything to do with them anymore. But he was plotting. He’s back now, with some buddies that he’s pulled from other MCs. Not the sharpest tools.”

  “Jesus, Bobby,” I said, shaking my head. What the hell was I going to do?

  Unbidden, my hand strayed down to my stomach, fingers splaying over my pelvis. I wouldn’t start showing for months, and maybe I could convince everyone that I really had gone through with the artificial insemination. Maybe I could avoid Marcus forever and never let him know that he had a child.

  But that didn’t seem fair to Marcus. And what’s more, I couldn’t imagine just cutting him out of my life. What he had said to me was beyond cruel, but I could tell that he was upset. And I had been upset, too. Besides, I hadn’t had the chance to properly make up with Marcus before Dad had come in and screwed everything up. For all Marcus knew, I still intended to have this baby without him.

  I couldn’t blame him for being upset. The more I thought about it, the guiltier I felt for having kept it all from him to begin with.

  Bobby didn’t know anything else about what Dad was up to or the specifics of his plans. But he did warn me to steer clear of Red Eyes, as though I didn’t already know that.

  Marcus kept calling me, and I wanted to answer, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew just how much trouble I would be in if Dad thought I was siding with Red Eyes over him. He might come after me, but more likely, he would go after Red Eyes. He wouldn’t fight fair, and he would take no prisoners.

  Marcus was afraid of getting me into danger, by letting me know that he was part of Red Eyes. Now, I realized that it was the other way around.

  Rachel came by around dinnertime. “Hey, have you eaten yet?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “Keep meaning to take my break, but…” I trailed off. I didn’t know how to explain to her that I just simply wasn’t hungry. She’d chastise me if she heard that. Remind me yet again that I wouldn’t be able to help anyo
ne if I drove myself into the ground. As though this were a conscious choice on my part.

  Besides, the main part of the problem had nothing to do with the food. I more just didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts while I was on break. At least right now, I could do something, even if it was just organizing supplies in the examination rooms.

  “I figured you probably hadn’t eaten,” Rachel said. She held up a bag. “I brought takeout. Do you think it’s okay if you take your break now?”

  I almost laughed, seeing that it was Chinese food. Just what I had been picturing for my weekend holed up in my place. I didn’t manage the laugh, though; the most I could manage right now was the ghost of a smile. But Rachel seemed pleased and all too ready to take that as my acceptance. She steered me down to the cafeteria and sat us at one of the back tables.

  “How are you feeling?” Rachel asked as we ate. She held up her fork to stall what I was going to say. “Yes, I know that that’s a stupid question. Just humor me.”

  I sighed. “I’m better than yesterday,” I said, taking a bite of sweet-and-sour chicken. I munched thoughtfully for a moment, trying to figure it out. The truth was, it felt like a void had opened up inside of me. And not just because it had been too long since I had eaten. I liked Marcus, and I wanted to answer his calls. I felt guilty for not answering them; I felt scared that he might show up here at work to try to talk to me, and most of all, I just felt like I was losing something.

  And it might be that I could never have had a relationship with Marcus. A future with Marcus. But I still felt like something had been snatched out of my hands.

  I just wished there was some way that things could have turned out differently.

  “I just don’t know what to do,” I finally sighed.

  “With Marcus or with your father?” Rachel asked.

  “Both,” I admitted. I rubbed at my temples. “I never expected to see Dad again; you know that.”

  “Do you really think he’s going to fight Marcus about dating you, though?” Rachel asked. “Or are you just telling yourself that he will because it gives you an easy excuse to stop going out with Marcus?”

  I shook my head. “It’s not that,” I told her. “You remember Bobby, right?”

  “Of course I remember Bobby,” Rachel said, rolling her eyes. Because we’d been best friends forever, and she knew all the fucked-up shit from my childhood.

  “I called him to talk to him about this. About the fact that Marcus is in Red Eyes.” I lowered my voice, even though there was no one around to hear me. “Apparently Dad is trying to move in on Red Eyes territory. And he screwed them over in the past, too, so there’s potential for a pretty serious fight to break out. I can’t get caught in the middle of that.”

  I could feel tears prick the corners of my eyes, and I looked away, wiping at my cheeks. Rachel looked surprised. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this upset before,” she remarked. “You must really like Marcus, huh?”

  “It’s not just that,” I said miserably. “I’m pregnant.” It was only a matter of time before she found out. She had been through all of this before; not only was there no point in keeping it a secret from her, but she would undoubtedly be able to figure out what all of my various symptoms meant when taken together.

  And without Marcus by my side, because I wouldn’t have Marcus by my side, I was going to have to rely on her to help me through this. I felt like I was asking too much from her, even though she had told me she would be there when I was talking about artificial insemination.

  I had no choice but to tell her. I had to tell someone.

  “Oh, honey,” Rachel said, reaching out and covering my hand with hers. “That’s good news, isn’t it? The artificial insemination worked?”

  “No, it didn’t,” I said, shaking my head. I took a deep breath. “When I went into my appointment the other day, they said that we couldn’t go through with the process because I was already pregnant. I mean, at first, they told me that everything was fine, that I would go through with the whole thing that afternoon. That was when I called you and asked if you could get lunch with me, remember? But when I went back in there, they said there had been some sort of mix-up, and they had tested the wrong batch of blood at first. And somewhere between the first tests and the final tests, I got pregnant.”

  Rachel stared at me for a long moment, and I could practically see the gears turning in her head. “Marcus’s?” she finally asked.

  “Yeah,” I said shortly.

  Rachel tried a joke. “Well, if they had a bit of a mix-up with your blood tests, aren’t you glad you didn’t go through with the insemination process?” she asked. “Who knows what kind of baby you might have ended up with! He could have been an alien, for all they might have known.”

  I wished I could laugh, but I barely managed a smile. “I just don’t know what to do now,” I said. “Do I keep it? I mean, of course, I keep it; I couldn’t bear to get rid of it. But what do I do after that?”

  It was such a stupid oversight on my part, but in all the times I had imagined having children, I had pictured just that: having children. I hadn’t really thought through the logistics of the pregnancy. Nine months of anticipation. Nine months of worry. And I certainly hadn’t thought through the scenario with the baby’s dad lurking there somewhere just off the wings.

  Even if things were shit between Marcus and me, even if they remained shit and we never managed to reconcile, he would still be there in Las Cruces. I might run into him at any time when I was out grocery shopping or running to the bank. He might come into the hospital while I was working, or he might see me and the little one on the way to daycare.

  Would our baby look like him, or would its looks be all mine? If I didn’t tell him, would he be able to tell that the child was his?

  But for all of the wondering and worrying that I did, the fact of the matter was that I wanted to tell Marcus about the baby. I didn’t feel like it was fair to keep the baby from him. Not only that, but I wasn’t entirely ready to give Marcus up. Not just yet.

  Maybe not ever. Maybe I was falling in love with him.

  I didn’t have any illusions about what would happen when I told him. I knew there was a chance that he would still reject me, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with the kid. But at least I would have tried. Otherwise, I would spend the rest of my life wondering if I had deprived my child of a healthy, loving relationship with its father.

  Because I was starting to realize that no matter what my worries were, no matter how similar Marcus’s path in life might be to my father’s, they were two very different guys. And one of these days, I was pretty sure that Marcus would make an amazing father.

  “Not to pester you, but did you tell Marcus already?” Rachel asked gently, as though she was reading my thoughts. Then again, I supposed it was only natural that she asked. Especially after he’d been so negative when I’d told him about the artificial insemination plan. She’d want to know how he was handling the news.

  She’d be hoping that the two of us were going to work it out and stay together. She’d be hoping that we were going to be that fairy-tale family, the one she’d always hoped I’d find.

  I didn’t dare to hope, not like that.

  I shook my head. “I was just about to tell him when my dad showed up at the diner,” I told her. “And then it all went to hell.” Even though I’d gone crying over to her place right afterward, I had barely told her anything. I hadn’t been in any state to tell her about my impending motherhood. All I had told her was that my dad was back in town, that Marcus was part of Red Eyes, and that I could never see him again.

  And that I was pretty sure I loved Marcus. But I’d been pretty upset at the time, and I wasn’t sure that that declaration really counted. Not that I didn’t feel it, just… Oh, I didn’t even know anymore.

  I didn’t know what I wanted.

  “Yikes,” Rachel said, shaking her head. “That really is a mess.”

  “Yeah,
a huge one,” I said. I sniffled. “Marcus doesn’t even want to have a kid with me.”

  “You don’t know that for sure,” Rachel said. “If he knew that it was his kid, he might think differently.”

  “What if he doesn’t, though?”

  “Then I’m still here for you, either way,” Rachel said firmly.

  I was quiet for a minute. “You know how horrible my father was,” I whispered. “He left my mom and me for the MC. And then he apparently screwed them over. And when Mom died, he could barely take care of us. He was drunk or out of the state most of the time. That’s why Bobby…” My voice choked off, and I swallowed hard.

  “Marcus wouldn’t be like that, no way,” Rachel said. “I saw him with Gavin, remember?”

  “Yeah, but even if he’s not like that, what if he expects my kid, our kid, to join Red Eyes? I don’t want to bring a child into that kind of life.”

  “I know you don’t,” Rachel said. “And I don’t blame you for that. But I still think you need to talk to Marcus about all of this. Maybe he wouldn’t want your kid to be involved in a motorcycle club, either. You said that he’s smart, right? That he has a couple degrees? Bet you didn’t think to ask him why he’s involved in Red Eyes to begin with.”

  I sighed and shook my head. “You don’t know that kind of guy,” I told Rachel. She knew so much about my story, but she hadn’t grown up with the idiots hanging around her house. No, she’d had a nice, normal upbringing with a loving family. She didn’t understand what it was like when those guys were your whole family.

  I was sure that Marcus would have no choice but to be part of Red Eyes until he died. And if he knew about this baby, this baby would have to be part of the club, too. Unless, lucky child, it was born a girl. If it was a girl, she might have some say in what she did with her future.

  But even then, I remembered what it had been like, growing up with the men’s club all around me. I shuddered just thinking about it. I couldn’t bring a child into a life like that.