The Price of Love (A Price Novel Book 1)

by Craft, Maggi

  I loved him without all the larger-than-life stuff. Just for him — and he loved me too. It was like I was finally seeing him clearly. I needed to relax and try and breathe. He wanted me to talk to him, obviously, or I wouldn’t be there. I could tell he wanted me there just as much as I wanted to be there.

  “Would you fix me a drink?” I asked and sat down on his bed.

  He looked up with a huge smile. “Sure. Usual?”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  He came back a few minutes later with my fresh apple martini. “So, you still want me to take you home? You know it would be nice if you just stayed here tonight. We could catch up. I wouldn’t touch you, pinkie swear.” He held out his pinkie.

  I didn’t grab it as quickly as I used to. I looked down and thought for a second. It’s not like I would be in danger here. Milly knew where I was, and I really would love to sleep snuggled up to him again. I thought for a few more seconds and said, “OK!”

  “Really?” His eyes widened in surprise. “I’ll get you something to wear.”

  He handed me one of his old shirts and some boxers, and I went into his bathroom to get ready for bed. I couldn’t go to sleep without brushing my teeth. I guessed his toothbrush would have to do — I hoped he didn’t mind. He was already under the covers, flipping through the channels, when I came out of the bathroom. It almost felt like old times. Turning off the TV, he pulled the covers back, and I slid in beside him. Well, kind of beside him. I wouldn’t dare get close enough to touch him.

  “Are you and Milly getting an apartment?” he asked.

  “No, Milly is moving to Long Beach with Eddie.”

  “That’s right! So, who are you moving in with?”

  I waited a minute and said, “Mom, for now. I don’t know what I want to do. I guess I haven’t really been as excited about all of this as I should be.”

  He looked like he was very surprised. “That’s interesting, for sure. You haven’t lived with her in eight years. How do you think that is going to go over?”

  “I’m sure it will go over great at first but end up like a category five hurricane by the time I get out of there. Gia still lives there, so I’m not really excited about it,” I admitted, laughing.

  “You know, I have three extra bedrooms — and the other half of this bed — if you don’t want to go to your mom’s,” he said and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. He looked serious. Like he really wanted me to come stay.

  “I’m sure that would be great for your love life.” I was only fishing.

  “Love life? I have no love life.” He laughed.

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I swear.” He looked down and said, “I am in love with somebody, but I guess she doesn’t feel the same anymore. I haven’t been able to move past that yet. What about you?”

  I looked away. I could feel tears fill my eyes. “I guess I’m in the same place as you.” I felt the first tear roll down my cheek.

  “What does Eric think about that?”

  That caught me off guard. “Eric?”

  “He was standing guard over you tonight. I was afraid you were together.”

  “Hell no. That’s actually the first time I’ve spoken to Eric since you and I split up.”

  “Really?” He looked surprised. Why is he always worried about Eric? “I figured you two had probably gone out or something.”

  “Absolutely not. I haven’t gone out with anybody. Have you?” I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to know the answer to that, but it was too late now.

  “No. Just work and home for me. I haven’t so much as looked at anybody else since you.” Now it was his turn to choke up. “If you had just one wish in the world, and it could be anything, what would it be? And be completely honest.”

  I pulled away. “Gosh, Slayde, that’s really putting me on the spot.” I thought a minute, and I decided to be honest. “I wish I could go back to the morning you proposed. I would do so many things differently.”

  “You would have said no?”

  “No, I would have still said yes, but I would have done things differently. I would have enjoyed every night I got to sleep next to you. I wouldn’t have rushed off to class. I would have relaxed and enjoyed every moment I was with you.” I couldn’t stop the tears at that point, and I didn’t care. I wasn’t just being honest with him but also with myself. “I would have given you the benefit of the doubt. I would — ”

  And he kissed me. “You wouldn’t have walked away?” he asked, when he pulled away.

  “I wouldn’t have walked away.” I finally admitted, through what seemed like a gallon of tears.

  We were both crying, and he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I didn’t care about anything else at the moment but being with him. We made love like we had never been apart. Afterward, we just lay there and held each other. It was like neither one of us dared let the other one go.

  “I’m so tired of trying to force myself to stay away from you,” he said.

  “Then why were you? It’s not like you didn’t know where I was.”

  “Arden, you’re the one who doesn’t know what you want. I know exactly what I want. I always have. You — but me wanting you is not enough. You have to want me back.”

  “I do want you,” I whispered.

  “Then why have you been doing this?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. I’m scared.”

  “Of what?” he asked.

  “Losing you.”

  He laughed sarcastically. “That makes a lot of sense. You’ve done nothing but push me away. If you don’t love me, or can’t see a future with me, or don’t feel the same, then say that. It’s definitely not what I want to hear, but at least I would know.” I wasn’t sure what to say or if I could even speak without crying again. Then he said, “I’ve never had a problem walking away from anyone in my life, but I can’t walk away from you, Arden. I just can’t. Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way. Are you happy? Have you been happy since you left?”

  “No. I’ve been miserable,” I admitted.

  “Then do something about it. You’re the only one who can. I can’t make you be with me. I would if I could, I swear, but I want you to want to be with me for the rest of your life.”

  “I do,” I whispered.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Very sure,” I said.

  “Then let’s work this out. Let’s stop hurting each other. This is senseless. What do I have to do to make you believe me? I did not kiss Shelley Spencer. I will never cheat on you. Ever! I love you.”

  “I believe you,” I said.

  He looked so relieved. “Nothing has been done between us that can’t be undone, you know,” he said.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I mean, I still love you just as much today as I did the day you left. I wake up every day and hope that you will come back. I get up and go to work and do it all again the next day with that same hope. Have your feelings changed? Do you know what you want?”

  I sat there for a second and thought really hard before I spoke. “Slayde, I have been dead inside since that day. I was confused for a while but not about how I felt. Just about how to handle everything. Being your fiancée is hard. It’s not your fault, but it’s still hard. I’m scared I won’t live up to everyone’s expectations, but I never stopped loving you. I wish I could take it all back. I wish we still lived together. I will never be able to love anyone but you.”

  “Will you take me back?” he asked.

  “Are you serious? Shouldn’t I be the one asking that question?”

  “OK, then I will absolutely take you back,” he said with his gorgeous crooked smile.

  We laughed, and I said, “It’s not going to be easy.”

  “Yes, it is. It’s going to be a cakewalk compared to the last forty-seven days.”

  I laughed. “I can’t believe you know exactly how many days we were apart! But I guess you do have a point.”

  He sat up in t
he bed. “Look, I don’t want to pressure you. I’m just telling you how I feel, and I want you to do what you really want to do. I know I can’t talk you into being happy if this isn’t what you want, but I still want to marry you, A. Would you still marry me?”

  I looked down for only a second and then looked back up and said, “Yes.” At that very moment, it felt as if two thousand pounds had been lifted off of my chest. He reached over into his nightstand and pulled out my ring.

  “Will you please be my fiancée again?”

  I couldn’t speak because I was crying again. I just nodded, and he put my engagement ring back on my finger, where it belonged.

  The next morning, when I woke up, I realized I didn’t feel nauseated like I had every morning for the last few weeks. There was no stabbing pain in my chest. I only felt relief throughout my whole body, with my engagement ring on my finger and Slayde’s hand on my lower back. He must have felt me move, because he pulled me closer to him and kissed me. “I’m so glad to wake up with you in my bed. Promise me you won’t ever leave me again.”

  “I promise.”

  He pulled me on top of him and kissed me, and we made love again.

  Midway through, the door swung open and the light switched on. I turned to see Lexi walk in. I was mortified, and so was she. She immediately turned around and left. I looked at Slayde, and he was laughing.

  “Why are you laughing?” I asked.

  “It’s just ironic, I guess. She has been coming here every morning for the last two weeks to check on me. I guess today for once she won’t be worried about me.”

  I buried my head in his chest. “Yeah, well, I’m sure the image of me straddling her son is what she’s going to be worrying about all day today. I’m never going to be able to face her again.”

  “Oh, whatever. That’s what she gets for barging into my house like that. She should have known better. She should have knocked.”

  As much truth as there was to that, it didn’t make me feel any better. However, I guessed I would have to face her again if I were going to marry her son.

  “It really doesn’t bother you that your mom just walked in on us having sex?” I asked him.

  “What difference does it make?”

  “If I’m going to marry you, I’d like your mom not to hate me.”

  “My mom loves you. That’s not going to change because she walked in on us.” He laughed. “We’ve been living together for a year. You think the fact that we have sex is news to her?”

  “Well, it’s one thing for her to assume it, but it’s totally different for her to see it, Slayde.”

  “You know she’s not a judgmental person. Hell, she had me when she was nineteen. You think she would hold that against my twenty-six year old fiancée?”

  “I don’t know, maybe.”

  “Well, she won’t. Now quit worrying about it and just kiss me,” he said.

  “Whatever, you’re her baby. She probably thinks I’m a bad influence on you.”

  Slayde burst out laughing. “OK, I can guarantee you she doesn’t think that, and at least she knows I’m happy now. She will be much happier thinking I’m having sex with you than thinking I’m in here crying over you. I promise.”

  “You’ve been crying over me?”

  He looked away. “Well, yeah. I’ve really missed you. I’ve always had everything I could ever possibly want in life. I’d never missed out on anything until I met you. Then I realized there was something I didn’t have in my life that I needed like I needed air. I didn’t want to need anyone like that. I mean, having you is the most wonderful feeling in the world. When I have you. But when I don’t, I can’t put into words that kind of pain, and there’s no substitute for you. There’s nothing I can do or take that makes that pain any better. It’s a chance I took willingly to be with you, but to lose you over something so senseless is just crazy to me. I kept thinking it would get easier, but it felt like it got harder every day.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I felt the familiar lump creeping up in my throat but still managed to whisper, “I’ve really missed you too.” I gave him a kiss. “I’m so sorry about everything.”

  He put his hand over my mouth. “Shhhh! Let’s not think about it anymore.”

  “OK!” I agreed.

  Chapter 10

  S layde, Lexi, and Taylor all came to my graduation. The four of us and my mother all went to lunch together afterward. I didn’t know which would be more awkward: being with my mother or being with Slayde’s. But Lexi didn’t act any different than she normally did; it was as if the other morning had never happened. Slayde said she had apologized to him but thought that apologizing to me might just make me more uncomfortable. It would have; I was glad she didn’t.

  Mom also didn’t act any different than usual: she was just physically there. It was so typical. Lexi tried to make conversation with her, but Mom spent most of the meal on her BlackBerry, answering emails.

  She got up to go to the restroom, and I followed her. As soon as I knew we were alone, I said, “Mom, why are you even here?”

  “What do you mean? Like I would miss you graduating,” she said, all while typing away on that damn phone.

  “You’re being rude.”

  She looked up. “To whom?”

  “Everyone. Lexi has spent more than half the meal trying to engage in conversation with you, but all you’ve done is give her one-word answers and stare at your phone.”

  She looked up at me. “Some of us don’t have the luxury of being married to Zac Price and actually have to work for a living.”

  “One hour, Mom, that’s all I’m asking for. Can’t you just put the phone down for one hour?” She didn’t answer me. We were standing in the bathroom, and she was paying not one bit of attention to me. “Mom!”

  She looked up. “I have to go. I am so sorry.” She kissed my forehead. “I am so proud of you. Tell everyone I said it was nice to see them.”

  “Go where? You haven’t even gone to the bathroom.”

  “I have to go to work. The jury just came back with a verdict in this murder trial, and I have to go. Sorry!”

  And she left me standing there in the restroom.

  Totally humiliated, I walked back to join everyone else. “Where’s Susan?” Lexi asked.

  “She had to go. Something about a jury verdict. Who knows.”

  Lexi, being her sweet Southern belle self, gave me her “bless your heart” smile and put her arm around me. “Well, at least it waited until the ceremony was over. That’s all that really matters.”

  I tried to smile, but like always, my heart was really hurt. I had hoped my mom would change and be a mom, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen.

  Slayde had convinced me to move in with him instead of Mom after graduation, which didn’t seem to shock anyone. After the way Mom acted at my graduation, I really didn’t want to move there anyway.

  I had two weeks between graduating and starting my internship, and I had no plans whatsoever. I was glad for an excuse not to go anywhere. Life was so hectic now; it was hard for me to do anything without the press in my face. It was insane. After the night at Benihana, I saw pictures of us getting into Slayde’s car all over the place. No one had ever confirmed that we had split, but of course the press had their own theories, which ranged from Slayde’s being gay to my being pregnant with someone else’s baby. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with people.

  Since we couldn’t go anywhere without a major scene, we spent a lot of time in the house. At first, that wasn’t a bad thing, but after too long, I started to get stir-crazy.

  I was painting my toenails by the pool when Slayde asked, “You want to go do something with Milly and Eddie tonight?” I looked up, and he said, “You know, you can get someone else to do that.” He laughed, and I shot him a look; he knew it drove me crazy when he said that.

  “I prefer to paint my toenails in peace, thank you. Unless you want to do it?” He grabbed the nail polish from me.
I thought that would end up making more work for me, so I snatched it back. “I highly doubt being mobbed by the paparazzi is their idea of a fun-filled evening,” I said.

  “Everyone should do it at least once, babe,” he said sarcastically. He lay down next to me on the chaise lounge. “What if we went to Long Beach to see them? It probably wouldn’t be as bad there.”

  “Yeah, right! I guarantee you the paparazzi are outside the gate right now. They would only follow us.”

  I could tell he was thinking. He wasn’t quiet that often. But he had to know that was the truth. “What if we got Dan to come act like he was picking us up, and then, thirty minutes later, we could leave in one of our cars?” Dan was Slayde’s driver and one of his bodyguards. I loved him.

  “That may work. I guess it’s worth a try. I’ll call Milly and see if they have plans.”

  Eddie and Milly had planned to go see a band play at his friend’s club on the beach. They said it would be great if Slayde and I came too. Milly said it was kind of a hole in the wall, so we should be safe to enjoy ourselves. We decided we would stay overnight.

  Slayde called Dan and got the plan in action — and it worked. The paparazzi took the bait.

  It was nice to have an uneventful car ride somewhere. It helped that Slayde’s windows were tinted so dark that you couldn’t see in unless you put your face right up to the glass. He also had started to switch vehicles every few months, which felt kind of ridiculous, but I guessed it was all part of being famous.

  Milly and Eddie had rented a cute little condo in Long Beach, and she was so excited about it. I couldn’t wait to ooh and aah over it. She had drinks ready for us when we walked in. Only my Mills would take the time to make each of us our favorite drink and have it waiting for us when we walked in the door.

  “Hey, you. I am so glad you’re here.” She kissed me and squeezed me tight. “I know it’s only been a week, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in a year.”

  “I know the feeling. What have you been doing?” I asked.

  “Just running around town, getting things together. Mom and Dad want to come visit soon, but I am trying to put it off as long as I can. What about you?”