I Choose You: Hood Love at Its Finest

by Diamond Johnson

  In the meantime, I went in the den and watched the old season of “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta.” I loved this show, especially Erica, Tammy, and Rasheeda. Those were my girls. While I was watching TV, I got a phone call from a private number. I just let the phone ring because I never answer the phone for unknown callers. They called another five times and I decided to pick up this time.

  “Who the fuck is this?” I asked.

  The caller didn’t say anything but I did hear them breathing into the phone. I hung up the phone because I didn’t have time to play on the phone with stupid ass people. Five minutes later, they called back and I answered prepared to tear into their ass.

  “Bitch,” the caller said and then hung up the phone.

  It’s like it’s 2014. Who the fuck still plays on people’s phone? There was a knock at my door and I went to look out the window to see who it was. I saw Tamika, Kyla, and Lani’s cars so I went to go open the door. I wasn’t going to tell them about what just happened with the private caller because I didn’t want to make it a big deal.

  “Hey y’all,” I said, opening the door and letting them in.

  They all gave me hugs and we went into the kitchen to start eating. I would tell them about what I was having as soon as I finished tearing this pizza up. I had a whole box to myself that I was going to devour. Before I got pregnant, I never ate this much. Now, every time you looked at me, I was fuckin’ some food up

  “Damn Tisha, slow down. We not gon’ take it from you,” smart mouth Kyla said.

  “Girl I didn’t eat all day,” I said with a mouth full of food, lying my ass off.

  “That’s a damn lie because Ty talked to Otis earlier and he said that y’all was on the way to pick up something to eat,” Ka’lani said, putting my ass on blast. Everybody started laughing at that.

  “Okay well I haven’t eaten since a few hours ago,” I let them know.

  One we finished eating, we headed into the den to watch TV. I went upstairs to grab the ultrasound pictures from out of my purse.

  “Guess what?” I asked my girls as soon as I came back in the den.

  “What happened?” they all asked.

  I didn’t say anything. I just showed them the pictures and in the middle of it was written “It’s a girl.” My girls started screaming and hugging me. They were too excited. I loved my girls so much. My daughter was going to be so fuckin’ spoiled that it wouldn’t make any sense. Between her father and me, she was going to be rotten. Then she had three shopaholic ass aunties that couldn’t wait to spoil her either.

  “I told you when you found out you were pregnant that it was going to be a girl,” Lani said.

  We sat back on the couch and continued watching TV while Lani sat next to me rubbing my belly.

  “Y’all bitches are so damn gay,” Tamika said, jealous.

  Me and Lani just burst out laughing. Lani and I have always been close like this. I knew Lani before I met Tamika and Kyla, so my bond with Lani was stronger. Growing up, I was born in Atlanta, Georgia. I never knew my dad. All I knew was he was white. My mom on the other hand was a different story for a different book. Just know that I hated that bitch. Her ass never did shit for me but carry me for nine months and push me out of her used up pussy. She never took care of me. It was always my big brothers Dez, short for Dezmond, and Tommy. They were hustling since they were 12 and made sure we all had food on the table and clothes on our backs. It wasn’t until I was 12 and they got arrested for murder that the only family I really had left was my grandmother on my mother’s side since I didn’t even know my dad, let alone his people.

  Staying with my grandmother was nice because for the summer, my cousins Nae, Breesha, and Imani would come over. I met Ka’lani because she was my next-door neighbor and then we ended up going to the same school. It wasn’t until a few months later that I met Tamika and Kyla. If someone were to ask me where my mother was right now, shit, your guess is just as good as mine because honestly I have no clue where that bitch is. I still kept in touch with my grandmother but not as often as I used to. Ever since I got with Otis, I felt like I was always busy doing something but I promised myself that sooner or later I would go and pay my grandmother a visit. I mean, she is the one that pretty much raised me after my brothers were hauled off to jail.

  I just laid there on the couch thinking about how it would’ve been if my parents were in my life. It kind of made me sad that my baby wouldn’t have any grandparents. God only knows where my mother is and I don’t have the slightest idea as to where or who my father is. Otis’ parents died when he was two years old in a car accident. He doesn’t really like to talk about the situation but a few months back, while we were having pillow talk, I asked Otis how come he never talked about his parents. I could tell from the way his body tensed up that it was a touchy subject so once he told me that they passed it an accident, I left it at that and I never brought the story back up. I figured when he was ready to talk about it then we would do that. I wasn’t going to force him to talk about it because I know talking about my mom can be a touchy subject as well.

  I don’t care what nobody says; growing up without a mother is one of the hardest things in life. Yeah I had my grandmother to try and fill that void but it wasn’t enough. I wanted someone there to talk to me about certain girl things. I wanted my mom to be standing on the porch taking pictures of me when I went to prom, screaming my name in the audience when I graduated high school, and even when I went on to graduate from cosmetology school. That’s why I made a promise to myself that I was going to go hard for my daughter and make sure that I would be the best mother in the world. I wanted my daughter to brag about how I was the best mother. I was going to give my daughter something that I yearned for when I was a little girl; hell, something that I still yearn for—a mother!

  “What’s wrong sis?” Lani asked, looking up at me. I guessed she noticed that I had zoned out for a little minute.

  “Nothing, just thinking about some things,” I told her.

  “Okay so tell me,” she said.

  “I just wish that my baby would be able to have grandparents, you know?” I told her, trying my hardest not to cry because lately I have been feeling like I was beginning to become too emotional.

  All my girls walked over to where I was laying and started hugging me.

  “Tisha it’s going to be okay. That baby is going to have so much love that it doesn’t make any sense,” Lani told me, wiping my tears away that I tried so hard to hold in but it just wasn’t happening.

  “Yeah girl, I mean you got three babysitters sitting right in front of you,” chimed in Kyla.

  “And you don’t have to ever worry about your baby wanting anything. Even though your baby might not have her grandparents, she still going to have plenty of other people who will love her,” Tamika said.

  I finally stopped crying after I realized the love and support that I had around me. I really am thankful for my girls. I guess I didn’t really look at it that way. I was too busy stressing over the fact that my daughter wouldn’t have the opportunity to have her grandparents, that I completely forgot about all the love and support that I had sitting right here in front of me.

  “Alright enough of this mushy shit. Let’s turn up,” Lani yelled.

  “Lani you know I can’t drink,” I whined.

  “But we can,” my girls said.

  “Y’all ain’t shit,” I said, sticking my middle finger at all of them.

  We turned the TV off and hooked Lani’s iPhone into the speakers and put it on Pandora. Migos’ “Fight Night” started playing and all my girls started dancing. I looked at all of them and started laughing.

  “Y’all are fuckin’ stupid.” I was crying laughing at them.

  “Tisha twerk something,” Lani said, pulling me off the couch.

  “Nooo you know I dance like a white girl. Y’all just want to laugh at me,” I said, being a spoiled brat. I guess that was the white part in me because I couldn’t dance for s
hit, but I could work my hips on my man’s dick though!

  Next thing you know my song by Ca$h Out, “She Twerkin” started playing and I got up and started dancing. I started twerkin’ and dipping my ass to the ground, pregnant and all. After about two minutes, I was out of breath so I had to sit back down.

  “Lani, Tamika, and Kyla what the hell is y’all over here doing?” Otis asked, laughing at them. We didn’t even hear when he came in the house because the music was so damn loud.

  “You just missed it. Your baby mama was just dancing,” Lani said.

  “I know Tisha’s no rhythm ass wasn’t dancing,” Otis said, trying to be funny.

  “You wasn’t saying that last night,” I shot back at him.

  “That’s different. You was riding, not twerking,” he said, walking over to me.

  “I swear y’all asses is nasty as hell” Tamika said, laughing at how affectionate me and Otis were to each other. Shit, I didn’t care. I would tongue my man down in front of anybody. He picked me up off the couch and was licking me all over my neck.

  “Bae put me down,” I yelled because he was playing too much. He kept acting like he was going to drop me.

  “Hold on y’all, your girl will be right back,” Otis said, carrying me, running up the stairs.

  He brought me into our bedroom and shut the door behind him. I already know what he wanted so I got right in the bed with him. No, I didn’t want to leave my girls downstairs just to get some dick but this wasn’t just any dick. This dick was one of a kind, specially made for a queen like me. This was the type of dick that’d have you wanted for attempt murder if a bitch so much as tapped his shoulder. I swear, when it comes to my man, I get fuckin’ crazy and I’m become very possessive

  Thirty minutes later, I was back in the den with my girls, who were now watching the movie Sparkle. Nobody but Lani put that on because that was her favorite movie since we were kids. That girl knew every line form that movie and would sit here and talk the whole movie out. That’s why I didn’t like watching movies with her ass, because she didn’t know how to shut up and just watch the shit.

  “Tisha that’s exactly why your ass knocked up now,” Lani said when I sat next to her on the couch.

  “Oh hush,” I said, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

  “Bitch you just had sex. I don’t know where your mouth been,” Lani said, laughing.

  “Ho I brushed my teeth when I was finished,” I said, laughing.

  “Tisha man, your ass is out of control,” Kyla said, laughing. She was referring to the fact that I told her me and Otis have sex about seven times a day. That’s why as soon as I dropped this loud, I was getting on the pill because as much as Otis and I fuck, I’m liable to get pregnant again and I don’t want that to happen until maybe another two or three years. I wanted my baby to be walking before I decided to have another baby. I will not have two kids under the age of one. Hell no!

  “Oh well,” I said, taking the bowl of popcorn from out of Lani’s lap, finishing the rest of it.

  When the movie went off, my girls straightened up the mess and started preparing to leave. I walked them to the door, we said our goodbyes, and they were out the door.

  Chapter 20: Tisha

  Here I was nine months pregnant and my baby was due any day now. We finally went ahead and sold my apartment and I moved in with Otis. Mainly because I was never really home. After about four months of being with Otis, I pretty much was over his house every night. Shit, half of my things were at his house so there really wasn’t any point in me keeping my apartment. We decided to name our baby Harmony Lashay Jackson. Her room was so beautiful. The walls were pink, the rugs, the lamps, everything was pink in her room. Her first name was painted on the wall. And above her crib was a painting of the sky. It was so beautiful.

  It was a Friday night and I was home taking a shower. I was so ready to have this baby already because I felt like a fat pig. Of course Otis loved the extra weight but I didn’t. I was ready to drop this load so I could get back to my normal self. As I was washing my body, I felt a sharp pain rip through the lower part of my stomach. That pain was enough to send my ass flying to the floor but I was able to hold onto the shower rail, to prevent the slip. It wasn’t until I looked down that I noticed it was a like a clear substance dripping down on the floor. Oh my God, I’m in labor! I thought to myself. I quickly turned the water off and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around my body and heading inside of the bedroom.

  “Oh my God, baby wake up. My water broke,” I yelled.

  Otis jumped out of his sleep. We were already prepared for this since the beginning of the month. He rushed inside of our walk-in closet and pulled out my BCBG tracksuit and my pink UGG snow boots and I quickly threw them on. He carried me downstairs and picked up the baby bag from off the floor in the living room. We made it to the hospital in no time, due to Otis driving like a bat out of hell. I was in the passenger seat in so much pain. If I knew being in labor would cause me so much pain, I would have kept my legs the fuck closed!

  Otis

  January 4th, 2014, we welcomed our beautiful baby girl Harmony, weighing 7 pounds and 7 ounces, into this world. Boy, did she have a set of lungs on her. She had Tisha’s good hair and her hazel eyes and that’s about it; everything else was all me. As soon as the doctor took Harmony to the back I walked over to a crying Tisha. Tisha ass acted a straight fool up in this hospital room. When I say her ass cried during the whole labor, and cursed everybody out in this room, I mean it. She even fucked around and cursed out Ka’lani for trying to hold her hand. Boy, I wanted to knock her ass the fuck out when she started wilding on me. I recorded the whole scene too so when Harmony grows up she can see how much of a fool her mama is. I salute Tisha though, real shit. Even though she damn near was about to kill all of our asses in here, she took that pain and didn’t ask for an epidural. That’s right, my baby had a natural birth. If her ass can push out a baby from out of her pussy without taking any medication, she better not ever run from the dick again. Shit, her ass just went through extreme pain and not once did she scream for no medicine. That’s my baby though, with her crazy ass!

  “You did good baby,” I said, kissing her head.

  She was so weak that she just laid there looking spent. Lani, Kyla, and Tamika were in the room the entire time. I had to give it to them, they were some real friends because if any friend I had cussed my ass out the way Tisha did, I would have been left. Ten minutes later, the doctor walked back in with my baby. She handed her over to Tisha and Harmony started smiling. My God, the way those dimples showed, she looked just like her mama. That little girl was the spitting image of her when she smiled. If only she knew the things that I would do for her. I’m talking laying my life on the line just for her. It was going to be so hard to ever tell this little girl no. These two females were the loves of my life and the best thing that has ever happened to me and that’s for real.

  “I love you so much,” Tisha told Harmony.

  I pulled out my phone and took a picture of them; my queen and my princess. Those two girls were my world. And I would do anything for them because I loved them so much. I walked over to take the baby from Tisha so Tisha could get some rest. She looked exhausted but I could tell that she wanted to stay up and mingle with our daughter.

  “What’s up li’l mama?” I’m Daddy. Can you say Daddy?” I said to Harmony and she just smiled, showing those gums.

  After I held her for too long, Lani came and held her, then Tamika and Kyla. Tisha was asleep at this point and I walked over to her and placed kisses all over her face. Who would have ever thought that the girl that I wanted to make mine since the very first day I laid eyes on would eventually give me a chance, let alone have a nigga’s baby? Her ass talked all that shit when I first met her, saying she’d never get with me because I was a ho. One thing about me, when I want something, I always get it. Tisha never took me seriously because she felt as if I was the biggest ho on the damn planet. So, I de
cided to prove her wrong and get my act together. I dropped every female I was fuckin’ and made Tisha my main. I loved her, respected her, and I would do anything in this world for her. I chose her! And she chose me! And I swear to you, that’s all that mattered to a nigga like me!

  Tisha was finally discharged from the hospital two days later. We drove out of the hospital with the car seat in the back and Tisha sat in the back with the baby. We made it home in another fifteen minutes and welcomed baby Harmony home. I took the baby bag in Harmony’s room and Tisha sat on the rocking chair putting Harmony to sleep. I stood there looking at them with so much adoration. I let a tear fall from my eyes as well in the process.

  “Aww baby come here,” Tisha said.

  I walked over to them and got on my knees in front of the chair. I couldn’t believe a nigga even cried. Shit, I can’t even remember the last time that I actually cried. I didn’t even cry when my parents died. Yes, a nigga was sad and hurting but I never shed a tear. I think about them every day though and best believe, I miss them dearly.

  “I love you so much Tisha,” I said, kissing her lips.

  “I love you too baby,” she cooed.

  After another ten minutes, Harmony was finally asleep. Tisha put her in her crib and made sure the baby monitor was on so we could hear her if she woke up. As soon as Tisha got in our bedroom, she headed for the shower. While she did that, I decided to smoke me a Blunt. I needed to smoke something. I knew I was going to hear Tisha’s mouth because she hated when I smoked around her, she said that the smell would linger in her hair. About 15 minutes later, she came out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around her body and her red hair was curly flowing down to the middle of her back. Her white side of her always showed when her hair was curly like that. When I be teasing her, calling her a cracka’, her ass gets so fuckin’ mad and be trying to fight my ass.

  “Otisss!” Tisha whined and I already knew what her ass was implying, so I took one last pull from the Blunt and put it out.