Promise Me (Pointe Royal 3rd Generation Book 1)

by Lee Wardlow

  “Ronan, I’m the one who is sorry. You’ve been doing everything you are supposed to do to get better and we are trying to hold you back.” She reached for a napkin and wiped her eyes with it.

  I lowered my head. I was speaking when Delilah returned with our drinks. She sat Mom’s coffee down first and poured her cup full. “Thanks Delilah,” she said to her.

  Then she sat Skylar’s tea in front of her then my soda. “Anything else?”

  “No, I think we’re good,” I replied looking around uncomfortably at Mom and Skylar. Everyone was tense now.

  “I’ll bring your burger out as soon as it is done.” Delilah didn’t seem to notice the tension at the table.

  “Thanks,” I replied.

  I watched her walk away then I turned my attention back to the table in front of me. “Do you know how ashamed I was when I heard Skylar was pregnant with my son and I couldn’t remember the night he was conceived. My thoughts were exactly the same as my Dads’. Had I forced her? Hurt her? “It still makes me crazy that there was so many drugs in my system that I can’t remember that night.”

  Skylar’s hand intertwined with mine. “I’ve told you what happened Ronan.” Her voice was soft and low. So understanding when I didn’t deserve it. She loved me. I was so lucky that she did. That is why it happened in the first place. I realized it now otherwise she would have stopped me when I came onto her.

  I shook my head. “I’m happier than I have a right to be Skylar but it shouldn’t have happened that way.” I leaned back in the booth. “Hell maybe I’m such a selfish ass that I didn’t even realize I had feelings for Skylar all along. I loved and looked forward to having lunch with her while we were on campus at the same time. She was a bright spot for me in the last three years.”

  She smiled. “I enjoyed them too,” Skylar agreed.

  “I just want things to be back to normal Mom. I’m not used to being an outcast in my own family. We’ve always been close. I miss the Sunday dinners and I know Sky does too.”

  “Then start coming to them again,” she told me.

  “Hell no,” I snapped. “The last time Dad and I were together in one place he punched me in the jaw and humiliated me.” I was shaking my head no. I tried explaining how hard that was for me. I was getting better. I was attending meetings weekly. Sessions with the counselor on a separate monthly basis. I didn’t want any setbacks because Dad stressed me out.

  Mom rested her head in her hand. “I don’t know how to fix this Ronan but I want to be a part of my grandson’s life. The girls have been talking about Skylar’s baby shower and I want to be there.”

  “What baby shower?” Skylar asked.

  Mom looked at me horrified that she revealed a secret. I rubbed my hand across my face. “That was supposed to be a surprise.”

  “Oh hell honey, I’m sorry.” I thought Mom was going to cry again.

  “Don’t cry Stevie. I’ll act surprised.”

  Mom burst out laughing. “They should know I can’t keep a secret.”

  “You think,” I responded. She glared at me across the table. “Does Dad know where you are?” I asked.

  She licked her lips. “Of course he does.”

  “He isn’t happy about it either,” I stated.

  “No but I told him I wasn’t missing Skylar’s baby shower. I already missed the wedding. I wasn’t missing Luke’s birth either. He needs to get over himself.”

  “Do you think he’ll come around?”

  “God I hope so.” She sounded so tired.

  After that we caught up. So much happened in the three months since I talked to my mom. I told her about the education classes I was taking online. She smiled at me. “Changed your whole life,” she declared.

  “I did. I want to help young people,” I declared as Delilah sat my burger in front of me. I was starving.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “Anything else?”

  “Nope. We’re good.”

  We talked about the baby stuff we were going to look at after we left here. Mom wanted to go with us if it wasn’t an imposition. Skylar liked that idea. She wanted us to mend our relationship as much as I did.

  Then I explained about Delilah’s three kids. The wrong impression we had about their mom. I wasn’t sure what was going on there but something definitely was. She was supposedly an addict too. Their grandparents sent money from Florida but didn’t want to help any other way. They were enjoying their life as retirees.

  Mom shook her head. “Ronan, I like this change in you. You always did enjoy helping out at the football camps.”

  “I did. Coach has been guiding me a lot too. The meetings and the counseling sessions are helping. My friend from the meetings, my sponsor of sorts is Sam Clifton.”

  She sat her cup down and said, “Sam, from our high school?”

  “Yeah, he’s a pastor at the church here in town where we have our meetings.”

  “Talk about turning over a new leaf. Did he tell you he used to deal drugs?” My mom asked.

  “He did. He’s pretty upfront about his past.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “He was a bad ass in high school.”

  Mom paid the bill for us. I didn’t want her to but she did. Delilah was waiting on a table. She kept looking at me as we waited on Mom. I smiled and waved. She smiled back at me. Then Delilah caught me out in front of the diner. Mom and Skylar went to the truck leaving me alone with her. “Ronan, “she bit her lip. “Dom tells me everything. I hope you don’t mind.” I knew what she was talking about.

  “I’m a recovering addict.” I made this easy on her.

  “He told me. He is very impressed with you. You have your life together.”

  “Do you need to get your life together?” I asked her thinking someone should have been that straightforward with me. I noticed how her hand trembled. Her eyes darted back and forth. She was getting shaky. She needed her fix. I bet she had trouble sleeping. Trouble waking up. She was very thin. Haggard looking. She was a full blown addict. I just hadn’t made it that far when I overdosed on the heroin.

  “Oh, I’m not that bad.”

  I laughed. “Neither was I until I almost killed myself with a drug overdose. Took some hard soul searching to see that I was an addict and I needed help. Plus, I wanted to be around to see my son’s birth.” I glanced over my shoulder where Mom and Sky waited on me.

  She inhaled sharply. “What did you do?”

  “I shot heroin up that was laced with elephant tranquilizer. I didn’t know it was. Not my finer moment,” I added. “Up to that night, I was strictly a weed and coke kind of guy with pills on the side.”

  Her eyes widened.

  “I died twice that night. My brother is an ER Physician at one of the downtown hospitals. My friends dumped me on the doorstep of the hospital barely breathing and with little pulse. He watched the other doctors revive me.”

  She looked down at the concrete. “I meant what did you do to get help but thanks for sharing that with me?”

  I smiled sheepishly at her. Maybe I was too honest now that I could see the error of my ways. “An eye opener isn’t it?”

  She nodded.

  “I go to a private drug counselor every month and I go to group sessions weekly at the Christ Church of Kings outside of town on Main. Every Saturday at three except today because we were in birthing class.”

  “Thank you Ronan and thank you for being nice to my kids. They need someone like you and Skylar.”

  They needed her, I thought but didn’t say it. “I have to ask. What’s the deal with them? Dom takes them everywhere with him. They have to be home when you get home? I expected you to be this drugged out, bitch to be honest but you’re not. Addict for sure but you’re kind and you love them don’t you?”

  “I do love them.” There were tears in her eyes. “Dom thinks he has to be home to take care of me that is why he wants to be home by a certain time. He won’t leave them alone when I’m not there and he won’t leave
them with me when I am there.”

  “Afraid you’ll OD?” She didn’t respond. “Do you know that he could go to college on a full athletic ride but he won’t talk to any colleges because he can’t leave you and his siblings?” She nodded. There were tears in Delilah’s eyes. “That’s a shame.” She nodded again.

  “I have to get back to work Ronan. Thank you.”

  “We’re here if you need us.” She nodded and went back inside the diner. I watched her until she was gone. Then I turned and went to my wife and mother standing by the truck. Opening the door, I let them both get settled, shut the door then went to my side and climbed behind the wheel.

  Explaining what I assumed and what Delilah told me I was even more worried about the kids. She used her son as crutch to get through life. I could see that. She relied on him to be the parent and her support. Nothing made sense anymore. I was going to talk to Dom on Monday morning to try to get clarity.

  Chapter 16

  Nickolas and Maddie now went to either Skylar’s classroom or the farm to hang out when school let out for the day. They could do either. Then Dom picked them up there after practice.

  When we were finished with practice, I asked him to take me to the farm. Skylar already left school taking his siblings with her. We were walking side by side to his car. “So Mom tells me we’re related,” he said.

  “We’re cousins actually.”

  “That’s cool.” He threw his gym bag in the trunk of the beat up Toyota.

  “Who is the grandparents living in Florida?” I asked.

  “Grandma Sylvia was married to my grandfather Tebo. I didn’t know him very well. He died young from a heart attack. She married her second husband who has the money and he moved her to Florida where they live now.”

  “Ah,” I replied. That explained it. Step-grandparent didn’t want to be bothered with the kids and grandkids that aren’t his. “Your mom works hard,” I said.

  He nodded but didn’t say anything else. “You know being an addict I recognize the signs.”

  “She told me you talked to her about what happened to you, almost dying and shit,” he said.

  “Man, I did die. Twice. Heart stopped. Quit breathing. Saw the bright light. Kissed my ass goodbye.”

  He couldn’t help it, Dom laughed. He glanced across his small car at me. “She won’t get help Ronan.” He was shaking his head back and forth and his voice was low and soft. Dominick’s statement held all the hurt that those words caused him. “When I turn eighteen I’m taking my brother and sister and she’s on her own.” It was the first time he called me by my first name instead of Coach. “That is why my Dad left. He couldn’t pick her ass up off the floor anymore. I can’t do it anymore either.”

  I got in the car when he did. “So he just left the three of you with her?”

  “He did.” He stuck the keys in the ignition but he didn’t start the car right away. “I heard he was in Alaska working for BP. Has a new wife who doesn’t use and three more kids.” Another hurt-filled declaration.

  “I’m sorry Dom.”

  “Me too.” He started up the car. “Would it have hurt him to take us?” He asked keeping his head down.

  “Why didn’t he?” I wondered out loud.

  “He thought she would stay alive leaving us with her or at least that is what he told me. He didn’t think he could care for us by himself and work. Maddie was just a baby. Hell, he wasn’t even sure Madeline was his. She has been known to sleep around. My mother is sweet and kind but she is needy and has no self-esteem. Men pay her compliments. Give her drugs. She gives them sex. Her self-esteem issues are thanks to my grandmother.”

  “I’m sorry.” I patted his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. This kid had more responsibility than he needed and more than he should.

  “I guess I should be grateful Gran sends money to keep the roof over our heads when Mom uses too much and I can’t pay the bills or feed us.”

  “Man, it shouldn’t fall on your shoulders.”

  He was shaking his head. “Ronan, I want to go to college. I could make something of myself. I could play college ball but I can’t leave them.” Dom was getting choked up. “I can’t do to Nickolas what she’s done to me.”

  “I know.” His words were weighing on me. I wanted to find a way to help him achieve his dreams.

  “She’s an adult with a child’s mentality. She has no filters that tell her no or not to do something. She just never grew up.” He wiped his hand across his face.

  “She needs help Dominick.”

  “I know that,” he snapped at me. Then he apologized immediately. “I can’t force her to get help.”

  He backed out of the spot where we were parked and headed towards the front of the school. He was quiet. “On Sunday, we have dinner at the farm at three pm sharp. You and your family need to come.” His head snapped around to look at me. “Keep your eyes on the road,” I told him.

  “Why?”

  “I want to help you however we can. Maybe making your mom realize she isn’t alone, is a step in the right direction.”

  Dom shook his head. “God, I hope so. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

  We arrived at the farm to find Maddie swinging on the playset with Skylar sitting on the picnic table watching her. Dominick and I sat beside her. Maddie jumped down as the swing went high. She tucked and rolled across the ground. Skylar gasped. “Girl, are you all right?”

  She got up giggling. Dominick rolled his eyes at his sister.

  “I’ve changed my mind Ronan. I don’t want a kid if this is what it’s like. I remember you Moore boys growing up. Lord, our child will be jumping off the loft with a rope tied off its ankles thinking they can bungee jump. Damn fools almost broke your necks.” Dominick laughed at her.

  “I think it’s too late Skylar,” I reminded her.

  Dom laughed at us. “Where’s Nickolas?”

  “He and Gramps went for a walk. They’ve been gone a while.” She covered her eyes and stared into the distance. “They are over there. See,” she pointed.

  Dominick glanced at Skylar. “He really likes Gramps. We don’t really have that relationship with our grandparents. They live too far away. My Dad’s grandparents don’t really have anything to do with us.”

  “Well Dominick, there are lots of grandparents in this family who would love on you three.” I smiled at Skylar. She turned to me. “Did you invite them to Sunday dinner?”

  “I did.”

  “Good. Maybe it will be easier for you to go with them here.”

  Dom leaned over on his knees. “Why are you concerned about going to Sunday dinner?”

  “I haven’t been in months because of my Dad and I arguing.” One thing I knew I would always be honest with this kid.

  “What happened between you and your Dad?”

  “He wasn’t happy that I OD on drugs. He took it personally. Then he was really not happy when he found out that Skylar was pregnant.”

  “Why not?”

  She looked at me waiting to see what I would tell him. Okay, so I might need to hedge the truth a little. “Sky is the daughter of one of my dad’s closest friends. I’m older than her. We grew up together and we weren’t dating so he really wasn’t happy when Sky turned up pregnant. He felt that I had taken advantage of her.”

  “So you hooked up,” Dom said with this teenage, snarky tone to his voice.

  Skylar was grinning at me. I had dug myself into a hole. “You know I love this woman. I have made her my wife and she’s expecting our child in a few months. That’s rude to refer to our child’s conception as a hook up.”

  Dominick laughed. Skylar did too. Dom looked at Skylar. “Isn’t that what he just said?” She nodded with smile on her face.

  “All right now.”

  Maddie was turning cartwheels or was trying to in the yard. “Maddie if I wasn’t pregnant I would show you how,” Skylar offered. “But I’m afraid that my belly would throw me off and I’d fall flat on my
face.”

  “I got this.”

  “This should be good,” Dominick said to Skylar.

  I showed the kid how to do a back flip and a cartwheel although when she did the backflip I spotted for her. She was grinning from ear to ear. I heard Dominick tell Skylar. “He’ll be a great Dad.” Which made me proud. I wanted to be a good dad and there were times in the past if this had happened prior to my overdose I’m not sure how well I would have responded to the situation.

  Things had changed since that overdose. I had changed. My cocky, asshole selfishness was a thing of the past. My goals changed. Money and a certain lifestyle were no longer important to me. Skylar and Luke were my priorities. The pressure was gone. The need was still there to self-medicate but it was easier to battle; easier to fight and win.

  I turned when I heard Nickolas and Gramps tromping through the fields with Fionn. “The kids are coming to dinner on Sunday if their mom agrees,” Gramps told me as soon as they were close enough. “I invited them.”

  I laughed. “I invited them too. Skylar and I are coming as well.”

  “About damn time Ronan,” Gramps told me. He hugged me to his side. “It’s about time you stopped running from your Dad.”

  **

  The Friday night football game, we won. I kept looking up in the stands and seeing Gramps with Maddie and Skylar. Tegan and Rhett were sitting in front of them. Maddie was talking Skylar’s ear off. She had no interest in football at eight years old. She was forced to go because her brother was afraid to leave her alone with her mother. What I didn’t understand was why Delilah didn’t come to the game to see Dom play.

  I came out first. Tegan was holding Maddie because she was sleepy. I took her from him. Dom was showering then he would be out. She laid her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes. I patted her back and held her tight. This parenting thing was becoming a natural part of me. Rhett and Tegan told us goodnight. They offered to take Gramps home. He decided to go with them while we waited for Dominick.

  “Nickolas why doesn’t your mom come to Dom’s game?”

  He rolled his eyes at me and made a huffing sound in his throat. “What and ruin her party night? She goes out most every Friday and Saturday night.”