As she made the drive back home, the skies began to clear up a little; although it was still supposed to be cloudy, it had not rained in a little while. Not that she cared about a little periodic mist or light rain did not seem to bother her anymore; as Ann told her once; she would get used to it. She wondered if she would have to get wood then remembered that Beth husband made sure there was plenty of wood under the deck and just call him when she needed more. She was excited for her first fire; looking over at the fixings for s’mores, she became hungry. She had not made them since she was around 20 years old at a fire in her parent’s back yard. Some country song was playing on the radio as she continued toward home and having no idea how things would change that evening.
Forty One
It was nearly 4 pm. Thomas, Daniel, their two dogs were already nearing Cannon Beach. The dogs were excited to go for a ride and Daniel sat in the back seat of the truck between the two of them. Daniel wanted to go into a small bookshop while they were in the area. Thomas wanted to stop and get coffee first then go into a boutique pet shop with the dogs. He was a friend of the owner and had promised her the next time they came up to town with the dogs that he would stop in and say hello.
The bookshop was near Santos Café so Thomas walked Daniel inside, got him settled then went next door to get his coffee. Harley and Layla were, for the moment, sitting in the truck waiting to be let out. After Daniel was done, they would get the dogs and head over to the pet shop around the corner on Hemlock Street. While Thomas was waiting in line for coffee, he sent Ann a text message letting her know they were in town. They texted back and forth and then decided that they would meet up at Ann’s house around 5 o’clock.
. . .
After getting back from Seaside and now with Shadow in tow Stephanie made her way walking from her house down to the beach over the semi wet sand. The spot she was heading for was slightly north up the beach from her home. Earlier she called Ben and asked him where a good place to have a fire was. He told her and then Pete called and offered to drop off some firewood down to the beach for her off. He was willing to start it for her, but she wanted to do that herself; she had not done it in so long and she wanted to relearn how to do it. When she got near where Pete told her to go she could see the old man sitting on a folding chair waiving to her as she got near. They hugged briefly and then Pete said, “Well I think you have everything you need here Steph, firewood, fluid and cheater sticks.”
“Thanks so much Pete, I suppose I should get some sort of a cart or something to pull this stuff with from now on, huh?” she said smiling.
“Yeah that or maybe a boyfriend type,” Pete said with a wink as he reached down to pet Shadow, who was inspecting him.
“Right, I’ve got the boys just knocking down my door,” she answered with a laugh.
“Well you never know, all right then young lady I’ll leave you to your fire now. If you need anything just call Ann,” Pete said and then walked back up the beach looking out at the ocean as he meandered along.
Stephanie set her bag down as Shadow made herself comfortable in the sand. She looked at the stack of firewood, put her hands on her hips and glared at the stack. Then she began grabbing pieces and putting them into the fire pit Pete had dug out in the sand. It took her a little while to get the wood balanced right in the sand. Once she got a flame going, it took her a few tries to get the fire to actually stay lit. The whole time Shadow was watching her, giving her a look that said, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing, mom?
At one point, Stephanie looked over at the dog and said, “Don’t judge me Shadow, you lick your own butt,” The dog’s reply was a tail wag and cock of her head.
Eventually after many tries, she got the fire going and was able to sit and relax next to its high warming flames. While she was trying get her fire lit, a couple who had also had been having a fire 50 yards away offered their remaining firewood to her since they were done. She accepted the four or five large pieces of wood and added them to her pile. She sat in her folding chair with a glass of wine in her hand, bare feet resting in the sand being warmed by the fire. The sun would be setting soon and was already low on the horizon; it should not be too long now. Down the beach, closer to the water a couple walked their two dog near the water, they looked like ghosts as they walked over the thin coating of standing water. Shadow was whining quietly at the dogs who had not even noticed her.
The clouds overhead were parting and the sunlight broke through in the sky. The ocean was calm and gentle; a few small boats went north along the coastline. Kids, families and some dogs walked or ran up and down the beach throwing Frisbees and footballs. Several other campfires dotted the beach to the north and south. A light gently breeze blew in off the Pacific and some trees began changing colors away from the mighty ocean. Most vacationers were gone; the locals enjoyed the quiet this time of year. Many of the rental homes in town were boarded up now, closed for the season and Stephanie sat smiling as she looked around at the quiet serenity around her.
Shadow was chewing on a piece of wood she had found in the sand and occasionally Stephanie passed her a piece of cheese. Stephanie was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans, hair free and blowing in the light breeze. For once, she was wearing her glasses something she only did when she was alone, for some reason she felt self-conscious in them. She sat with one leg crossed over the other, cell phone turned down and a book sitting on her lap. She wondered where he was, what the man she loved was doing. She had no idea what to say to him yet other than “I was stupid and I love you” which she was quite sure she would mess up giving the chance.
She looked down her dog who was still chewing on the stick and a thought came to her mind.
“Shadow maybe we will try this fetch thing we see these dogs do in the water. I know you can fetch, I think it’s time to see how brave you are, baby,” Stephanie said to her dog, who may or may not have understood.
. . .
The weather was cool, but comfortable he stood there silently looking down at the beach. Hands in the pockets of his pea coat as he quietly watched as the woman he loved stand up and walk toward the water her Husky joining her. He had waited years to see her, secretly and sometimes not so secretly wanting to see her. She was the one woman outside of Daniel’s mother his heart could never let go of and forget about. Now, she was here in Oregon, where he lived. What’s more, she lived here now…he still was not sure what to make of this. Ann stood next to him holding his arm as they both watched Stephanie. The overlook they were on was a little south, closer to where Ann’s house was. Stephanie could not see them from where she was.
“I don’t remember her being this beautiful Ann, I mean she always was but…well it’s something else now all together, something more…it’s different. And now I sound insane besides feeling like a bit of a stalker” Thomas said.
“Yes she is, your descriptions didn’t do her justice when you first talked about her,” Ann said. Behind them, Daniel sat on the tailgate of his dad’s pickup truck with Ben. Behind them, Harley and Layla got restless in the bed of the pickup truck wanting to get out and run.
Thomas watched her for at least ten more minutes when his son wandered up next to him, grabbing his hand that was shaking. The boy looked out at the beach, and saw a woman playing with her dog a little ways away. He looked up at his dad and saw he was looking at her.
“Who’s that Dad, why are you and Grandma Ann watching her, why are you shaking?” the boy asked looking again in the Stephanie’s direction.
Ann walked away back towards her husband and petted the dogs in the truck, trying to calm them down. She knew Thomas had to speak with his son. Thomas kneeled down on one knee so Stephanie was to his left, so he and his son could see her. He felt it was better that he could see and hopefully the boy might understand.
“Remember a while back when I was looking at my photo albums. And there was that lady in there, the one I told you was very special to me many years ago” Thomas said tryin
g to read the boy’s face.
“Steph…umm…Stephanie, I think. Is that right?” Daniel said as he put a finger to his mouth, thinking.
Thomas laughed and with a small smile said, “Yeah buddy, Stephanie is her name.”
“Okay…so what about her?” Daniel asked.
“Well the reason Grandma Ann called me and wanted us to come up is because she is here,” Thomas said.
“Who’s here?” the boy asked looking around.
“Stephanie is buddy,” Thomas said nervously
“Where?” “Daniel asked as he looked around.
Thomas lifted his hand and pointed toward the ocean, towards the woman standing by the water playing with her dog. Daniel squinted his eyes and sort of leaned over trying to get a better look then said, “I like her dog, she’s likes dogs so she must be nice.”
“Well I hope so, at least she used to be,” Thomas said.
“So are you going to go talk to her Dad?” Daniel asked.
“I don’t know, do you think I should? I could use your advice buddy,” Thomas asked.
“I don’t see why you wouldn’t Dad, you like her right? Remember what you told me about that girl in my class that I liked, that if I didn’t tell her it would always be there and that I was brave for telling her I liked her even if she didn’t like me back,” Daniel said.
“Yeah I remember” Thomas said as he looked in Stephanie’s direction than back at his son.
“So…like go be brave and stuff Dad. It’s what you’re good at,” the boy said.
Thomas smiled and he felt his eyes water up. His son was only seven but was terrific for a kid of any age. The boy gave him reason to be a proud dad every day. He ran his hand through the boy’s hair then squeezed his shoulder. He loved how simple his son saw things, he missed being able to think like that.
“How did you get so smart?” Thomas said.
“Meh a little of you and little of mom I think. But I’m just really smart for my age” the boy said smiling.
They stood there watching her for a little bit, as she threw multiple sticks in the ocean trying to entice her dog to go in after them. The husky would run as fast as it could toward the water chasing the stick but stopping short where the waves, as small as they were, hit the sand and then running away frantically. Ann and her husband Ben came up and stood next to them. They watched as Stephanie and her dog began walking back to their fire. The orange setting sun already disappearing on the horizon…the sky looked like it was on fire and Stephanie and her dog became shadows.
Ben was usually a quiet man, his wife had the opinions in the family and was not afraid to voice them, and he kept to himself usually. He was careful when he gave his opinion. Therefore, it caught Thomas off guard when he spoke up.
“Can I tell you something about me you probably don’t know Tom?” Ben asked in his gravely old man voice.
“Of course Ben,” Thomas said.
“I was married once before, for five years a long time ago when I was in my 20’s. My wife died of cancer when I lived down in Phoenix. Afterwards I never thought I would love again, never wanted to and never believed I could. A few years later about eight I think, I met Ann in Vegas where she was working at a casino. She made me believe in the unbelievable, it scared the hell out of me, and I almost wrote her off, afraid to try again and not knowing how,” Ben said in his deep raspy voice, pausing, and looking over at his smiling wife.
She was looking at him with tears in her own eyes, then he continued talking “But I didn’t, and all these years later I haven’t once regretted my choice as scary and hard as it was. Tom, sometimes people only get one shot at love, you got two and a redo, do not waste your redo. Besides, she really is a wonderful girl, very much worth the chance I think. And besides if you don’t Pockets might make a play for her, you know he likes the young ones,” Ben finished saying with a playful smile.
Thomas patted the old man on the back as he watched Stephanie sit down in her chair. “Thanks Ben, for telling me that” Thomas said.
. . .
Shadow refused to go in the water much high than a few inches and Stephanie was not sure why. After many attempts, she decided to give up on that for the night and just meandered around the beach looking for things in the sand and watching the giant orange sunset. The farther the sun got down the colder she got so she and Shadow began walking back toward the fire.
As she walked, she felt like she was being watched and looked around her. Off in the distance she saw a group of people who appeared to be watching the sunset so she ignored the feeling. The setting sun obscured her view and she just assumed it was a family or tourists enjoying a wonderful sunset. When she got back to her chair, she threw more logs onto the fire. Shadow found a comfortable spot on the flannel blanket Stephanie had brought for her to lay on. Once the fire was built up higher again, Stephanie began sorting through her bag looking for the things for s’mores that she would make shortly. She poured another glass of wine and watched the sun and the ocean. A small group of kids ran down by the water playing as their parents followed. The ocean waves made a soothing crashing sound as they gently rolled onto the shore, some seagulls flew over calling to each other. Some sort of small bird walked up fast towards Stephanie pecking in the sand; Shadow lifted her head and cocked it as she studied the bird. Stephanie tossed the bird part of a cracker then a piece towards Shadow after she noticed her dog waiting for her treat.
The sky grew a bright orange as the sun set farther down and then eventually was gone. The sky turned into a light grey color, lights from homes began to show and smoke rose from there fireplaces. About fifteen minutes after that the sun dropped below the ocean’s edge, the beach was more or less dark now. The sky still had a slight glow to it and the stars began to show more and more. In both directions Stephanie looked, she saw beach fires pop up that were not there before. The wind from the north brought the smells of the other fires in to her nose and she loved the way it mixed with the salty air.
Her attempts at roasting marshmallows in the fire were not going so well. She had lost three of the puffy white balls in the flames already and watched them melt and burn in the red embers. In addition, Shadow had snuck a whole pack of graham crackers away when her owner was not paying attention. Stephanie sipped her glass of wine and noticed out on the ocean a large boat bright with lights heading north and a couple down by the water’s edge, her mind wandered.
. . .
Thomas had told Daniel to stay with Layla, Ann and Ben and he would call him over in a little bit, depending on how things went. After putting Harley on her leash, the two of them slowly went down a small hill and onto the soft sand. As he walked, his hands began to shake and his heart started beating faster. He had waited years for this moment and still had no idea what he was doing. He could see Stephanie in front of him about 25 yards away, silhouetted by her fire, her dog at her side.
Walking he realized he had no idea what to say her. What do you say in a situation like this, “Hey I’ve been watching you on the beach for half an hour like a creeper, wanna get coffee” probably was not the best thing to say. As he got closer, he saw her get up and move toward the fire doing something in it. He realized how quiet his steps were in the sand. Then looked down at Harley who had noticed the other dog long before they were this close and smelled the air while her eyes were locked onto the Husky. He wondered if bringing her was bad idea so he pulled her leash tighter just in case.
. . .
Stephanie was frustrated but was not going to let this fire get to her and was determined to figure the lost art of roasting a marshmallow over it. She thought it was funny of all the things she forgot she got older; she never thought how to roast a marshmallow would be one of them. While she was putting one of the white puffballs on her roasting stick, she heard Shadow growl a little. “Oh girl just calm down, you can’t be growling at everything you see when we are the beach, this isn’t your yard,” She said not even looking at her dog.
&n
bsp; She put one end of the skewer into the flame very slowly. “I bet Thomas does this all the time with his son, he’s probably a professional at this,” she said aloud. Suddenly behind her, she heard a man’s voice; her dog growl so she spun around…then her face went white.
“Actually Daniel is the pro in the family at making s’mores, he likes them light brown and I just burn the hell out of them, which works out well for the dogs since they get to eat them” Thomas said with a chuckle and his crooked smile to a surprised Stephanie who dropped her stick in sand. He was standing just at the edge of the fire, close enough to be in its glow, which made his face red.
She had no idea what to say and was lost for words then quietly said, “It’s you!”
“It’s me,” He replied smiling looking right at her trying to ignore his nervousness.
“Thomas…” Stephanie said looking at the man who she loved for years who now was standing in front of her. After months and months of wondering she never expected their first meeting to happen like this, on the beach when she looked like hell, hands covered in sticky marshmallow goo. “Wha…what are you doing here” she finally stammered out as she saw the warm sexy smile she had missed for years.
“How honest do you want me to be?” he asked holding the dog leash tight.
She pulled her hat off, ran her fingers threw her hair and tugged on her shirt trying to make herself more presentable.
“You can stop that you know…the whole primping yourself thing. I still think you are beautiful Stephanie, you never had to try that hard to look good anyway, you just always were. At least to me anyway,” He said feeling a little embarrassed.
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