Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 3

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  BA-DUM. The feminine fetus encased in the orb at the base of the pillar kicked its legs.

  CHAPTER 5

  HELL AND HELL

  Darkness overtook the man’s vision.

  The only sounds to reach his bloody inner ears were a muffled mix of human screams and the howls of monsters on a rampage.

  The screams came from all angles, so many echoes that it was impossible to discern where one began and another ended.

  The man dragged his upper body across the floor, senses overwhelmed by the pandemonium that surrounded him.

  Both his eyes had been crushed.

  Tears of blood flowed from behind closed eyelids as he fumbled through an endless abyss.

  Everything below his waist had been severed from his body.

  Using his arms to pull himself forward, he moved like a nearly deceased creature that had forgotten it had once been a man.

  A body that was unrecognizable. Moans of pain. A consciousness in turmoil.

  He felt intense heat.

  His throat was so dry it stung.

  Even his jaw wouldn’t shut comfortably.

  Each time he shuffled forward, some essential part of him spilled from his open abdomen.

  The literally half-dead human man had no idea where he was as he proceeded deeper and deeper into the Dungeon.

  Whirling pain and suffering unknown to this world finally consumed his mind.

  Any normal person would have already died in this hell. But the Falna in the Status on his back wouldn’t let him easily pass into the next realm.

  A new sound filled his ears: the crude laughter of gods. Although not real, he could hear them laughing at him, as though he were a freak for their entertainment. Even if this was just some hallucination the exitless Dungeon was tormenting him with, it was nothing more than a curse.

  Anger and rage filled the tears of blood still pouring from his eyes. The will to live had yet to break.

  The man who hated everything outside himself was swallowed up by despair from which there was no escape.

  The man could go no farther, lost in a vast ocean of darkness.

  He lay completely still, leaking the last of his blood into the red puddle beneath him.

  There were no sounds of people, no sounds of monsters. Only silence.

  His body turned cold in a corner of the Dungeon completely cut off from the rest of the world—

  Slither.

  A sound wafted through the air as something reached out to the man on the brink of death.

  A single root grew toward him from even deeper in the Dungeon.

  A richly colored glow sparkled at the end of its tip.

  It glided ever closer as if inviting him to come to the other side of the darkness. Wrapping itself around his lifeless body, it flipped the man over onto his back.

  The vivid glow disappearing into the legless human’s chest, his eyes closed.

  The man awoke with a start a moment later, crushed irises taking on a greenish yellow hue.

  A beastly roar echoed through the darkness.

  Lefiya shook in fear as Olivas’s yellow-green eyes warped into a diabolical smile.

  A threateningly intense glow emanated from the object in his chest. That, combined with a lower body the same off-green color as his eyes, proved that this man was no human.

  His overpowering presence was enough to make Lefiya forget where she was, her eyes spinning.

  She also felt extremely nauseous.

  Lefiya the elf was afraid of the thing in human form before her eyes—utterly revolted by it and overcome with an urge to put as much distance between them as possible.

  “This has to be some cruel joke…”

  Asfi swore under her breath. The rest of Hermes Familia was equally perturbed.

  Was their enemy human?

  Or a monster in human form?

  Feeling vomit build up in her throat, unable to take it anymore, Lefiya pressed for answers.

  “Just what are you…?”

  Olivas’s lips curved into a smile, his white hair swishing around his shoulders.

  “I am both and neither, a combination of strengths that has ascended beyond human and monster!”

  The man shrouded in white sneered at Lefiya and the other adventurers as he proudly declared his origin.

  No sooner were those words out of his mouth than the last of the light coming from the magic stone disappeared behind a healing wound, accentuating his point.

  “How can the likes of you, who only fight with a deity’s Blessing…win against one such as I?”

  Olivas chuckled with contempt.

  As for Lefiya, her mind frantically tried to make sense of what she had just heard.

  The strengths of man and monster.

  Intelligence with Status, contained in a body equipped with monstrous strength and ridiculously high defense.

  There were several instances in the previous battle where those abilities had been on display.

  Lefiya had seen him take several direct hits from Bete, a top-class adventurer, and not even flinch. That unfathomably thick skin had repelled magic and possessed a terrifyingly fast self-regeneration ability that was still at work as they spoke. The idea that all these things came from a Status felt too strange to be true.

  If Olivas’s words were to be believed, then whoever “She” was had transformed a dying man into something completely different.

  The feminine fetus at the base of the quartz pillar was visible just behind the man in white.

  Human and monster—a hybrid.

  The man in front of her—and most likely the red-haired woman as well—was the same type of absurd abomination.

  Creature was the only way she could describe it.

  “…Are you a remnant of the Evils?”

  Asfi, who had recovered enough to speak, narrowed her eyes as she joined the conversation.

  The entire party focused solely on Olivas. The man laughed off that idea, however.

  “Do not confuse me with the scum who refuse to let go of the past. I am not some puppet who will dance for a god.”

  Yellowish green irises surveyed the landscape.

  The cavern floor was dotted with scorched corpses, as well as a few robed warriors who had been denied that fate. Although he didn’t say it directly, Olivas’s expression was enough to let the adventurers know that the zealots whom Hermes Familia and Lefiya’s party had dispatched were part of the still active Evils organization. Based on his choice of words, Lefiya guessed they were merely cooperating with him, nothing more than pawns in a larger plan.

  An eerie silence filled the chamber.

  The gigantic flower monsters still attached to the quartz pillar emanating red light and the fetus created the only sounds in the cave. This time, it was Asfi who broke the quiet.

  “What is this place? What is it that you and your conspirators were planning to do here?”

  “This is a Plant.”

  “Plant…?”

  “That is correct. A pantry infested with parasites forcing it to bear violas…A vessel to bring monsters from the Deep Levels to higher floors.”

  Lefiya was unable to hide her shock.

  The plant monsters originated in the Deep Levels, and—

  “Monsters giving birth to other monsters…I have never heard of anything like it.”

  The Dungeon gave birth to all monsters as their “mother.”

  That was an absolute truth.

  Even the gods clearly stated it was a law of this world.

  The gigantic flower monsters’ infestation of the pantry, the flesh walls that spawned flower buds. Even now, more buds opened, and the brood’s broken-bell howls started filling the chamber once again. Lefiya fell silent, speechless.

  “In other words, you used your skill as a tamer to instruct those monsters to create the space?”

  “No, incorrect. I am no tamer.”

  Olivas’s voice intensified.

  “The violas, myself—a
ll of us are one entity under Her. As Her representative, the monsters obey my will.”

  The man spoke as though he had been given a great honor, his voice brimming with delight.

  Asfi donned the scowl of a disbeliever in front of the faithful and pressed right to the heart of the matter.

  “What is it you’re trying to achieve?”

  Olivas’s greenish yellow eyes smiled once again, glinting.

  “Destroying Orario.”

  That declaration sent a wave of fear through the adventurers as they stood like statues.

  Lefiya gulped. Those around her did the same.

  Whether she was aware of it or not, Lulune’s trembling hand took hold of her tail and squeezed as she spoke for the first time.

  “D-do you know what you’re saying…? What that means?”

  Orario was a large city built directly on top of the Dungeon. It was also a fortress that kept the Dungeon in check. The Tower of Babel stood directly over a large hole in the ground, like a lid that prevented monsters from reaching the surface. Built in the Ancient Times, it was a barrier that separated the Dungeon from the rest of the world. Calling it humanity’s last bastion wouldn’t be an exaggeration.

  If Orario fell, the world would be plunged into the darkest days since the Ancient Times.

  The tragic days of war between monsters and the various races of humanity would begin again.

  “Of course I do!!”

  Olivas shouted his response to Lulune’s question.

  “I would destroy Orario voluntarily!! All to make Her dream a reality!”

  He gestured to the pillar behind him in front of the adventurers’ horrified faces.

  “She speaks! Can you not hear Her?”

  His outstretched hand pointed directly to the base of the column, to the fetus contained in the orb.

  “She wants to see the sky! She longs for it! That is Her wish, and I will do everything in my power to grant it!”

  His voice steadily reached a fever pitch.

  Skin paler than a sick man’s wrinkled as an exultant smile appeared on his lips.

  If there was one thing that the adventurers understood from the nonsense that spilled from his mouth, it was that this man possessed loyalty to “Her” that bordered on obsession.

  “The city blocks her view of the sky from deep underground! The metropolis that blocks the hole must be obliterated!

  “Inept humans and powerless deities have no right to control the surface! She should reign supreme!

  “She is not the same as deities who merely crave amusement, letting chips fall where they may so they can be entertained, whittling the time away, doing nothing themselves! No!! She granted me a second life and bestowed an even greater joy upon me!”

  Lefiya’s and the other adventurers’ glares intensified as Olivas unleashed an avalanche of scorn.

  “I have been chosen by none other than Her!! And I—we—will see Her dreams come true! I will stop at nothing to give Her anything She desires!!”

  One look at the man’s expression was enough for Lefiya to know.

  —A fanatic.

  Olivas had a blind faith in the “Her” who gave him a second life.

  That was a feat that even the “philosopher” who created the Philosopher’s Stone—an item that granted eternal life—had tried and failed to accomplish many times. Gekai was bound by a set of rules that even the deities who loved the children had to abide by, one of them being that reanimation of the dead was impossible. Olivas Act had committed himself to “Her” because she transcended these rules for his sake.

  A soul that had forsaken the gods themselves willingly chained his existence to this new entity.

  “She is my everything!!”

  Olivas declared this with the female fetus as his witness.

  No one could say a word in the face of this man’s unwavering devotion to an unidentified being known as “Her.” Asfi stood transfixed with a searching gaze. Lulune weakly shook her head, trying to convince herself this was just a very bad dream. Filvis was still shaken to the core, unable to speak or move.

  Lefiya continued to stare at him, horrified.

  “Shut up already.”

  Bete suddenly broke the silence.

  The young werewolf was clearly unamused and stepped out in front of the group.

  “Just find a resting spot an’ die…’Cause you can’t fight for shit right now, can you?”

  Voice arrogant, the werewolf’s eyes burned with a wild fire as he made his claim.

  Lefiya and the other adventurers stared at him, jaws slack with surprise. Olivas said nothing in response, closing his mouth.

  The top-class adventurer Bete realized that this lecture was nothing but a way to buy time to heal. Recovering from those injuries would have required a considerable amount of Mind and physical energy, meaning that the man wouldn’t be able to fight with the same ferocity as before.

  “Hmph,” mumbled Olivas with a grin in the face of Bete’s sharp glare. “My strategy deciphered by mere humans, how troubling.”

  Olivas admitted to Bete’s claim.

  However, his reaction was quite the opposite from someone whose ace in the hole had been discovered: a calm smile.

  Bete sensed something was off in the relaxed demeanor of his enemy and snarled.

  “This body is nothing but a thing that She saw fit to grant life…It is as you say. I cannot fight as I am now.

  “—I cannot,” he added with a smirk.

  Asfi’s and Bete’s eyes shot open a heartbeat later as something entered their line of vision.

  Not giving them time to react, the man with the title “Vendetta” raised his arm into the air with such force that his white hair swirled to the other side of his body.

  “Now—viskum.”

  The quartz pillar behind him immediately began to shake, filling the chamber with wavering red light.

  One of the three gigantic flower monsters attached to the crystal shook its threatening petals as it shifted toward the adventurers below. Rather than roaring, it screeched like nails on a chalkboard as it broke away.

  A new stench coming from the vivid flower filled the air—putrid, rotting flesh.

  Time slowed to a crawl as a gigantic shadow above the adventurers’ heads grew larger by the second. The beast was descending.

  “—Scatter!!” screamed Bete as everyone took off running.

  They sprinted as fast as their legs could carry them. Filvis was the last to react, taking action only when Lefiya grabbed her wrist and half dragged her outside the beast’s massive shadow. Their enemy Olivas ran off in the other direction, safely exiting the landing zone with a few light strides.

  The gargantuan body of the monster slammed into the floor a moment later with the force of a meteorite. The entire cavern shook with the strongest tremors of the battle.

  “~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?!”

  “You gotta be kidding!”

  Arms up to protect their faces, Lulune and Asfi braced themselves against the shaking.

  Pieces of the green floor exploded, falling like rain. Another ash plume filled the air, concealing the massive creature inside.

  Every upper-class adventurer looked upon the gigantic shadow in the middle of the cloud, easily larger than a floor boss.

  “Obliterate them.”

  Following Olivas’s command, the gargantuan flower monster lumbered forward.

  The beast was far too heavy to raise its upper body like the violas, so instead it slithered toward the adventurers like an overgrown worm.

  “!”

  Separated from Filvis, Lefiya watched the massive green body approach and immediately moved to get out of the way.

  An enemy this large left no room for error. Kicking off the ground, she dove headfirst to avoid its initial body slam, only to get caught up in the burst of wind that accompanied the impact and roll across the floor for several meders.

  Other members of the party didn’
t fare much better. Since each twist and turn of its gigantic frame could result in a fatal blow, every adventurer was quick to put some distance between themselves and the monster.

  “Can we even hurt this thing?!”

  Lulune screamed as she dodged round after round of ivy-like whips from the monstrous roots.

  One of Hermes Familia’s human supporters also evaded a slew of ivy tendrils as she extracted a magic sword from her backpack. She unleashed the full power of the fire-infused blade onto the beast, but the monster didn’t seem to notice. Flames bouncing off its incredibly thick skin, the gigantic flower continued its series of plunging body slams unfazed.

  Brave adventurers drew their weapons and attacked, but the monster’s incessant wiggling knocked them back over and over. Magic users busily cast their spells in an attempt to overwhelm the beast with their power, but they were silenced by waves of ivy whips in their vulnerable state. Even worse, the magic energy attracted a swarm of violas. There was no time to complete their trigger spells.

  The chaos on the battlefield prevented Hermes Familia from using its formations and teamwork.

  “Over here, piece of shit!!”

  An airborne Bete landed a devastating kick.

  The hastily attached knife on Frosvirt opened up a large gash in the monster’s flank, but it was nowhere near enough to bring it down. Although it writhed in pain, a raging bull would never fall to a toothpick.

  The beast’s movements and attack speed weren’t all that impressive, but its mass and scale were just too immense.

  Bete clicked his tongue in frustration as he glared at the enemy that no one in their right mind would ever willingly engage in battle.

  “FUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Go, my viskum! Eliminate the adventurers who have set foot on this holy ground!!”

  Olivas watched the battle from a short distance away, his laughter echoing through the chamber.

  Knowing he had two more of the beasts in reserve, the man couldn’t have been more confident of victory. Satisfaction appeared on his face as he waited for the last of his injuries to heal.

  “Olivas Act!”

  “……?”

  A cry of rage reached his ears.

  Turning to face its source, he saw an elf with long, shiny black hair wearing pure-white combat gear.