Certified Disaster (Beautiful Mess Book 2)

by Preston, Jennifer

  “This now, too?” He raked his hands through his hair. “Seriously, are there any other tired, beat to death topics you’d like to dredge back up tonight? Tonight, when you know I’m exhausted, and apparently in a bad mood. I know you hate my mom, Bri, but your sense of timing couldn’t be worse.”

  “Is that what you think this is?” Her eyes blazed, and her whole body radiated fury. If Cole hadn’t been equally as furious, he might have been scared. “You think this is about me not liking your mom? Which I don’t, by the way, because she’s a selfish, manipulative sociopath, who only cares about herself. This is about me trying to stop you from making a huge mistake. One you might regret for a long time. That’s what this is about. I’m trying to help you, and you are throwing every insecurity I have back in my face. Why? Why are you being such a prick?”

  “Oh, so I’m a prick now, too?” he laughed darkly. “Great. Let’s just add that to stupid, poor, disappointing, and never good enough for you. My list of finer qualities is growing nicely.”

  “Don’t you dare,” she seethed. “You may throw my insecurities back at me, but don’t you dare try to label me with yours. I’ve never once said any of those things. I’ve never even thought it.”

  “You may not have said it in words, but believe me, the implication has been loud and clear. Nothing I do is ever good enough for you, and no matter which way I turn, I’m always disappointing you.” He glared at her, daring her to deny it.

  “What?” She leaned back, like his words had physically struck her. “I have never said any of that. Look, I don’t know what kind of lies your mom has been feeding you, but…”

  “Oh. My. God.” He grabbed his head, feeling something inside him snap. He’d been on the verge for a long time now, and he’d finally been pushed over the edge. “I can’t keep having the same conversation over and over with you, Bri. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.” And he was. He couldn’t handle anything more. He was two seconds away from having a complete mental and emotional breakdown.

  “What? What do you mean?” Her face paled as she took a step closer to him.

  “I mean that I’m done. I can’t take the pressure or the guilt anymore. I need a break. I think we need a break,” he sighed. Her eyes widened in shock and fear. And while he felt horrible for hurting her, he also felt relief at finally voicing the thoughts that had been tormenting him for so long.

  “Cole…” she began, but couldn’t finish.

  “I think it would do both of us some good to spend some time apart for a little while. It would give us both a chance to cool off and think about what we really want.”

  “I already know what I want,” she replied softly. “Don’t you?”

  A tear slipped down her cheek, and he almost took it all back. He was a jerk for making her cry, and he desperately wanted to pull her into his arms and reassure her that everything would be fine. But he wasn’t doing that. Part of him was holding back, because deep down he knew that he couldn’t take any more right now. Even though he loved her more than anything, being with her was a constant reminder of how much he was failing her, and how she deserved so much more than he could give her. And even though it made him the biggest prick in the world, he desperately needed to get out from under that huge mound of guilt.

  So he forced himself to say, “No, I don’t.” And it wasn’t even a lie.

  “Cole.” Her eyes pleaded with him. Her whole face begged him not to do this, and he thought he was going to break. But then, she took a deep breath and pushed away all traces of her emotions. “Fine,” she barked, wiping tears from her eyes. “You need some time, I’ll give you some time.”

  “Bri…” He trailed off, not knowing how to finish. She shot him a glare before storming to the door. “Go home, enjoy Christmas with your family, and we can talk when you get back.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” She opened the door, then turned to look him right in the eye. “I hope you figure out what it is you want, Cole, because I won’t wait around forever while you try to figure it out.” She left, slamming the door behind her.

  Cole felt the reverberations of that slamming door all the way to his very soul. He had the sudden urge to chase after her and take everything back. But he didn’t. Instead he turned around, walked into his room, and climbed into bed.

  Chapter 20

  Bri walked home in a daze, her mind refusing to accept what had just happened. She managed to make it to her room before the full impact finally hit her. She fell onto her bed, and started sobbing. Cole may have just broken up with her. She wasn’t quite sure what “needing a break” actually meant, but it sure felt like he’d broken up with her. Her heart was unable to tell the difference, if there was any.

  How had this happened? How had things between them gotten so bad? She hadn’t even seen this coming.

  Bri sorted through her memories of the past few months, but she couldn’t think of anything that had happened that would warrant Cole freaking out and breaking up with her. She’d thought everything was fine, that he was as happy as she was. Had she really been so blind and naive? The only catalyst she could think of was Lynette. Things were perfect until she showed up, pushing her way back into Cole’s life, and changing his plans.

  But even if Lynette had been trying to undermine their relationship from the start, Cole had promised that they had nothing to worry about. He’d promised that he wouldn’t let his mom, or anyone, come between them, and Bri had believed him. That, she realized, was her biggest mistake. Cole had lied, and she’d fallen for it. And now, here she was, sobbing herself to sleep as her heart was breaking.

  She refused to leave her dorm the next day. She wasn’t hungry, and didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. And she really didn’t want to run the risk of running into Cole. So, she hid out in her room. She managed to get herself packed and ready to fly home the next day, but she couldn’t muster the energy to do much else.

  The next morning, Stacie and Stephanie drove her to the airport. They were both staying on campus for the break, helping to cheer for the basketball team. Bri would’ve been staying with them, if it hadn’t been for Seb’s bowl game. She had never been so grateful for a football game in her life. It would have been impossible to cheer when she felt so miserable, and even more unbearable to be that close to Cole, not knowing where they stood.

  She was quiet in the car as they drove. Finally Stephanie turned to her in the back seat.

  “Okay, Bri, what’s going on? You didn’t leave your room all day yesterday, and you look like you’re ready to cry at the drop of a hat. Did something happen?”

  Bri opened her mouth to deny it, but the genuine concern in Stephanie’s eyes stopped her. She hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone about what happened, but this wasn’t something she could keep from her friends. They’d hear about it while she was gone, and they would never forgive her for not telling them first. Plus, maybe they could tell her what she had missed, the signs she’d overlooked.

  “Um,” she cleared the lump from her throat. “I think Cole and I broke up.”

  “What!?!” both Stacie and Stephanie yelled in unison.

  “Are you serious?” Stephanie gaped at her.

  Bri nodded.

  “When?” Stacie asked.

  “Thursday night.”

  “How?” Stephanie stuttered, still shocked. “How did this happen?”

  “I don’t know,” Bri replied, choking back a sob. All of the emotions she’d managed to suppress came rushing up. “I went over to help him study, and Jillian was there. We fought about it a little, but we moved on. Then he said he was too tired to study, and didn’t care about failing his math final. I told him he was crazy and that this was important, and then… then he just kind of exploded. He said he couldn’t do this anymore, and that he needed a break.” Bri wrung her hands in her lap as her tears fell down her face. “I don’t even know what that means. I all know is that it feels like he’s gone, and I don’t even know why. I don�
�t know what I did wrong.”

  Stacie and Stephanie just stared. Finally, Stacie shook herself out of it, and anger crossed her face.

  “You haven’t done anything wrong, Bri,” she growled. “You have been nothing but supportive of that guy, and if he can’t appreciate it, that’s not your fault.”

  “She’s right,” Stephanie agreed. “It’s not your fault.”

  “I must have missed something. There had to be signs that he was unhappy or whatever, but I can’t remember any.”

  Stephanie and Stacie exchanged a look.

  “Well,” Stacie began, “Cole has been different lately. You may not have noticed, but we have. Ever since the start of this semester, he’s seemed tense, stressed. He’s always been so laid back about everything, but lately he’s had no patience and he’s been making a big deal about things that normally wouldn’t bother him.”

  Bri paused and thought about that. She’d known that Cole had been under a lot of pressure, but she thought she’d been helping him with that, talking him through things and helping to alleviate the burden he was feeling. Maybe she hadn’t been as helpful as she’d thought.

  “And he’s been different since his mom came back,” Stephanie added quietly. “He hasn’t seemed as happy lately. Not that that is in any way your fault. But, it’s been noticeable.”

  “Great, so I’m just an idiot. A blind, stupid, naive idiot who should’ve seen this coming.” Bri dropped her head into her hands and began crying in earnest.

  “Oh, sweetie!” Stephanie exclaimed, then awkwardly climbed into the back seat. She wrapped her arms around Bri, pulling her into her shoulder. “You’re not an idiot. I’m so sorry. You and Cole will figure this out, I know you will.” She rubbed Bri’s back soothingly.

  Pulling herself together, Bri sat up. “Thanks, Steph. I’m sorry I’m such a mess today. Let’s talk about something else. Stace, how are things going with Matt?”

  “Oh, things are good.” Stacie didn’t sound very convincing. Bri could tell that there was something she wasn’t telling her, but before she could ask about it, Stacie changed the subject. “So, you’re going to Las Vegas for Christmas? I’ve never been to Vegas. It looks like a lot of fun.”

  Stephanie jumped in, and they spent the rest of the drive talking about everything but boys. After hugging her friends goodbye, Bri boarded her plane and flew home. Here family was there to greet her, and she used every ounce of energy she had to put on a happy face and convince them that there was nothing wrong. She just didn’t feel up to telling her family about Cole. At least, not until she was sure that there was something to tell.

  She took comfort in being surrounded by people who loved her, and her brothers’ excitement and love went a long way to soothing her aching heart.

  That is until her birthday arrived on Monday. Her family threw her a surprise party and invited all of her friends from high school. Layla and Devon couldn’t make it, Devon had a bowl game of his own to play in, but they called her to wish her a happy birthday. Maddie, Jess, and Ethan came, as did Claire, and it was good to see them again and catch up. Jess and Ethan had broken up the year before, but they had been able to stay friends. Although, seeing the way Ethan kept looking longingly at Jess, Bri guessed he’d change that if he could. A bunch of the girls from the Dance Team came, as did a few of Cole’s friends from the basketball and football teams. It was a wonderful party and a perfect night, but she felt Cole’s absence acutely. She kept hoping he would call her for her birthday. She waited all day to hear from him, but he never called. He didn’t even send her a text. Bri had never felt so unwanted. On what should have been a happy day, she went to bed in tears.

  The next day, she left with her family for Las Vegas, and Seb’s bowl game. Wanting to avoid having to talk to anyone, her emotions were way too close to the surface, Bri slept the few hours it took to drive to Vegas. They pulled up in front of the house Scott had rented, and the boys gaped.

  “Do you think there’s a pool?” Logan asked, gazing up at the mini-mansion in front of them.

  “I bet there’s a pool in the house,” Liam grinned. “Come on, let’s go see. Maybe there’s a movie theater, too.”

  The boys climbed out of the car, Connor and Summer following close behind. Bri took a deep breath, and then followed her family to the door, where she was immediately accosted by Claire.

  “Bri!” Claire squeezed her tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too,” Bri replied, meaning every word. She needed Claire’s bubbly optimism and boundless enthusiasm to help her forget about the disaster that was her life.

  Claire pulled back and looked at Bri. Her face fell. “Is something wrong?”

  “What? No. Why would anything be wrong?” Bri forced a laugh. Claire looked at her doubtfully.

  Luckily, Bri was spared from any more of Claire’s questions, as Logan and Liam spotted the huge play set in the back yard and pulled her towards the back doors to show her. She followed the boys into the living room, Claire right behind her. Scott, Sharon, and Jimmy were there, and they jumped up to greet her when she walked in.

  “Well, we’d better get going. Seb’s going to meet us at the restaurant for dinner before he has to get back to the team,” Scott clapped his hands. “So let’s load up.”

  They arrived at the restaurant, and Seb gave Bri a huge hug when she walked in. She felt tears well up in her eyes, and quickly forced them back as she took her seat at the table. No one else seemed to notice anything wrong with her, but Seb kept shooting her concerned, questioning looks all through dinner. He tried to pull her aside, but she managed to avoid his questions. She didn’t want to burden him with her problems right before his big game.

  Bri had never been to a bowl game before, and the Las Vegas Bowl was like no football game she’d ever been to. The excitement and energy buzzing through the stadium was intense. Scott had gotten them all great seats, and everyone was excited to watch Seb and the UNLV Rebels play.

  Despite her melancholy mood, Bri forced herself to smile. She was going to give herself a break from her misery and enjoy the game. This was Seb’s big day, and he was one of her best friends. She didn’t want to taint or ruin this for him.

  Claire caught her eye, and gave Bri a huge smile. Bri returned it, and they both turned their attention to the football game that was starting.

  Bri had to admit, she was a little excited. She’d never seen Seb play in person before. Every once in a while the Rebels would be on TV and she’d been able to watch a few of his games. But sitting this close, she got to watch him the whole time. It was a good game, and UNLV managed to pull out a closely fought victory.

  As they were driving home from the game, Bri got a call. She pulled her phone out quickly, hoping it was Cole. It wasn’t. Shaking off her disappointment, she answered.

  “Hey,” Seb greeted, and Bri could practically hear his smile. “What’s up?”

  “Oh, nothing. Just driving back to the house. Where are you?”

  “On my way back to the hotel. Listen, the whole team is going out tonight to celebrate, and I was wondering if you’d want to come with us? With me?”

  “I don’t know,” Bri replied uncertainly. “I don’t think I’m feeling up to hanging out with a bunch of drunken football players all night.”

  “Oh.”

  She could hear the disappointment in his voice, and she instantly felt bad.

  “But, what if you and I go do something? You could even bring a couple of your friends,” she amended.

  “Really?” His voice perked up.

  “Really. I’m not up to hanging out with a whole team of raucous football players, but a few wouldn’t be too bad.” Plus, going out with Seb might take her mind off of Cole for a little while, something she desperately needed.

  “Okay. Why don’t you meet me in the lobby of Caesar’s Palace at seven.”

  “Sounds good,” she smiled. “See you then.”

  She was in the lobby right
at seven o’clock. Seb came down a few minutes later, beaming when he saw her.

  “Bri!” He picked her up and gave her a huge hug, leaving her feet dangling in the air. “I’m so glad you came.”

  “Me, too,” she replied as he set her back down. Seb wasn’t usually so enthusiastic, and she felt herself blushing. She could feel the happiness and excitement radiating from him. “That was a great game today. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you. And, thanks again for coming.”

  She looked around. “So, where’s the rest of the party? I thought you were bringing some friends.”

  “Nah. I see those losers all the time. You I only get to see a couple times a year. So, it’s just going to be the two of us tonight.”

  “Oh, okay.” Bri didn’t know why, but she suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. She quickly shook it off though. This was Seb, after all. There was no reason for her to feel uneasy. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to miss celebrating with your team just for me.”

  “Are you kidding? There isn’t anyone I’d rather hang out with than you. So, come on. There’s a great restaurant across the street, and I don’t know about you, but I am starving.”

  After they were seated, Bri glanced around the restaurant. She noticed a group of college aged girls sitting a few tables away, all of them smiling at Seb. She waited for him to notice them, but after a few minutes she couldn’t hold back any longer.

  “Hey, Seb.”

  He looked up from his menu. “Yeah?”

  “Do you know those girls over there?” She tilted her head at the table of salivating co-eds.

  “Oh,” Seb glanced over. “Yeah, those are some cheerleaders from school.” He returned his attention to the menu.

  “Seriously?” Bri laughed. “That’s it?”

  “What?” Seb looked up confused.

  “You really haven’t noticed the table full of drooling girls over there who have been eyeing you since you first sat down?” She couldn’t believe how obtuse he was. “And now that you do notice them, you don’t find that a little tempting?”