Seb glanced between Bri and the cheerleaders a couple times before responding.
“They aren’t my type,” he shrugged, like that explained everything.
Bri burst out laughing. Seb set his menu down and leaned closer.
“You really think I’d be interested in that?” He motioned to the other table, and the girls started giggling. “A bunch of superficial, self-centered opportunists, who only want to sleep with me because I’m popular, or they see NFL dollar signs when they look at me? Frankly, I’m a little insulted that you think I’m that shallow.” He leaned back and crossed his arms, looking a little hurt.
“Oh, Seb,” she reached over and put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.” She was sorry, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face, the whole situation was too funny. “I don’t think you’re shallow at all. In fact, you are one of the deepest people I know.”
“Thank you,” he smiled. “So can we forget about the cheerleaders and enjoy our dinner?”
“Absolutely.” Bri sat back and picked up her menu.
“Good, because I have an ulterior motive asking you out tonight. There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
“Okay,” she replied warily, setting her menu back down. His serious tone made her nervous.
“I’ve been waiting for you to tell me what’s bothering you, but you obviously aren’t going to open up any time soon, so I’m taking matters into my own hands. What’s wrong, Bri? Something is going on, and I want you to tell me what it is.”
“What? Nothing is wrong. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not, though you’ve been doing your best to convince everyone that that’s true. But I’m not buying it. You’re sad, and withdrawn, and you look like you’re ready to burst out in tears any minute. Something happened. Something happened with Cole, didn’t it?” He held her gaze, daring her to contradict him. When she didn’t respond, he pressed, “Come on, Bri. It’s the only reason you’d be this unhappy. You can talk to me, you know. I’m worried about you.”
The sincere concern in his eyes broke down her resistance, and all the strength she’d managed to build up came crashing down. Despite her reluctance to tell anyone what had happened, she found herself telling him everything. Even the details she hadn’t shared with anyone else. By the time she finished telling Seb the whole story, she had tears trailing down her cheeks.
“That effing idiot,” Seb growled, his eyebrows furrowed. “That stupid, selfish jackass!” His voice rose with anger. “He seriously doesn’t know how freaking lucky he is. I can’t believe he would throw everything away like that.” He shook his head. “Bri, this is not your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him.”
“Thanks,” she managed a small smile. She wanted to believe him, but some self-deprecating part of her wouldn’t let her.
“I’m serious, Bri. Everyone can see how amazing you are. You’ve been nothing but supportive of Cole this whole time. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.”
She smiled at him, warmed at his concern.
“So, do you still feel like hanging out?” he asked hesitantly. “Or would you rather go back to the house?”
She thought for a moment. “Hanging out would be good. I could use a distraction right now. But I do have one condition.”
“Anything,” he agreed with a smile.
“No more talking about Cole, or our relationship, or anything along those lines.”
“You got it. There are about a million other things I’d rather talk about anyway.”
“Good.” She grinned mischievously at him. “So, let’s talk about you. If those cheerleaders over there aren’t your type, then what is?”
“Hey!” Seb’s cheeks flushed. “I thought we weren’t talking about relationships.”
“No, we’re not talking about my relationship. Yours, on the other hand, are totally fair game.”
Chapter 21
By the time Christmas arrived, Bri was ready to scream. She was about to lose her temper, her patience, and possibly her mind. Seb had spent all of Christmas Eve watching her, asking if she was okay, never leaving her alone for a second. It was like he thought she was going to shatter into a million pieces if he wasn’t there to stop her. She knew he meant well, but Seb’s constant hovering was driving her crazy, and she was about ready to hit him.
She awoke on Christmas morning to the excited shouts of Liam and Logan. She had just enough time to rub the sleep out of her eyes before her brothers came barreling into the room she and Claire were sharing and jumped on her bed.
“Bri, wake up! It’s Christmas!” The twins pulled her out of bed, Claire following sleepily behind, and down to the large family room downstairs.
The excitement and joy buzzing through the house, and the room full of brightly wrapped presents, chased away any lingering feelings of frustration. Bri smiled genuinely as she sat down and everyone tore into their presents.
After all the gifts were opened, Sharon and Summer went to the kitchen to start the turkey for dinner, and Connor, Scott, and Jimmy turned on a football game. Liam and Logan wanted to go swimming in the indoor pool, and Bri, Claire, and Seb went down to keep an eye on them.
Later that evening, everyone gathered for dinner. Summer and Sharon had made enough food to feed a small army, and everything was delicious.
As they were finishing up dessert, Jimmy’s phone rang. Bri froze as he answered it, knowing only one person who would be calling on Christmas.
“Cole!” Jimmy smiled as he answered.
Bri’s stomach dropped and her heart started pounding. Jimmy and Cole talked for a few minutes and she tried not to look worried or nervous, but the concerned looks Seb kept throwing her told her she wasn’t doing a great job. She was anxious and terrified about what Cole would say to her, and she honestly had no idea what to say to him.
Finally Jimmy held up his phone and asked, “Anyone want to talk to Cole?”
A whole chorus of voices rose up, but overriding all the others were Liam’s and Logan’s excited shouts. Jimmy handed them the phone, and Bri’s dad helped the boys talk to Cole for a minute. After they had told Cole about each and every one of their presents, and then started a rundown of everything they’d been doing all week, Connor intervened. The boys said goodbye, telling Cole he’d better come visit them soon, and gave the phone to Connor. Connor talked to Cole briefly, with Summer piping in to wish him a merry Christmas, and then he passed the phone to Claire.
Bri sat restlessly while Scott and Sharon talked to Cole next, finally passing the phone to Seb. She couldn’t take the tension anymore, and slipped out of the dining room when nobody was looking. She hid around the corner, trying to pull herself together and calm her racing heart. Even though she had no idea what she’d say to Cole, she knew she wouldn’t be able to form a coherent sentence in her current state. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to calm down.
A moment later she heard Seb’s voice getting closer as he talked.
“Alright man, let me get Bri for you.”
Ready to face whatever was coming, Bri stepped out of her hiding place to meet Seb. He stepped out of the dining room, and stopped.
“What?” he asked, as if he hadn’t heard Cole right. “You can’t be serious.” Seb’s eyes snapped up to hers. He continued to watch her as he spoke to Cole. “You have to talk to her, it’s Christmas. Come on, she’s right here…” he trailed off. Bri watched Seb’s face transform from confusion to anger and incredulity. “That is bullshit,” he growled at Cole, moving further into the hall and away from the happy conversations coming from the dining room. “You can’t just ignore her. She doesn’t deserve to be brushed aside like this just because you’re…” Seb sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Bye.”
He hung up, and the full force of what just happened hit Bri.
Cole didn’t want to talk to her. He had fought with Seb not to talk to her. He didn’t want anything to do
with her.
Seb was still standing there, the phone hanging limply at his side. “Bri,” he looked at her sadly, “I’m so sorry.”
She felt tears threatening, but pushed them back.
“Um, no, it’s okay,” she swallowed back the lump in her throat. “I just… I’m going to… I’ve got to go.” She turned and ran out the front door before Seb could say anything else.
She made her way around the side of the house to the backyard. The outdoor pool was lit up like a blue jewel, the soft light pushing back the darkness. But it was darkness and obscurity that she craved. At the edge of the patio, Bri found a chair in a dark corner where no one from inside the house would be able to see her. She sat down, and all of the emotions she’d been holding back came flooding out. She felt a hollow, aching grief swell up and drown her.
She had been hurt when Cole hadn’t called for her birthday, but watching as he talked to everyone he cared about except her… It was devastating. She’d never felt so unloved and unwanted in her life. Heaving great ugly sobs, she felt her heart split in half. The pain was so intense, she worried it would it would tear her apart.
Sometime later, Bri heard the back door close, and someone walked towards her. She knew who it was, even before he draped a blanket around her shoulders. She tried to brush away some of her tears before she glanced up at him.
“Thanks,” she hiccupped.
“It looked a little chilly out here.” Seb sat down next to her. “Are you okay?”
She glared up at him. “Do I look okay?”
“Fair point,” he conceded with a sheepish grin. “Why don’t you come inside? You’ve been out here for a while, and you have to be freezing.”
She shook her head. “I’m not capable of putting on a happy face right now, and I don’t want anyone to know what’s going on. I’m better off out here.”
“You’re better off outside, freezing? I don’t think so. Look at you, you’re shivering.” He pulled her against his side and tried to rub some warmth back into her arm. “What if I told you that everyone was gone, would you come inside then?”
“Gone? Where did they go?”
“I sent everyone out to a movie,” he grinned down at her.
“But, didn’t they notice that we weren’t with them?” Bri sniffed.
“Well, I told them that you were feeling a little sad, and needed some space. Don’t worry,” he reassured her when she gave him a horrified look. “They think you’re missing Cole, that’s all. I didn’t tell them anything.”
“Good, thank you,” she smiled, relieved. “But how come you’re here?”
“It’s like I told them, you shouldn’t be left alone in your distressed state. So I’m here to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don’t have an emotional breakdown or something,” he winked.
“And you were the one they picked for this job?” she asked, skeptically.
“Oh, I had to fight Claire for it, and that girl fights dirty. But in the end, I’m older, and stronger, so I got to stay.”
“Oh, well, thanks, I guess. But I’m really okay on my own. You don’t have to babysit me.”
“It’s not babysitting,” he replied with sincerity. “I want to be here. You deserve to be upset and angry, but you don’t deserve to have to go through this alone.”
“Really?” she asked doubtfully. “You want to stay with me? I’m a total mess. I’m sure there are more enjoyable things you could be doing.”
“There isn’t anything more important than this. Now, can we please go inside? It’s freaking freezing out here.”
“Okay,” she smiled, touched that he cared so much about her, and let him pull her out of the chair and into the house. She followed him upstairs, but gave him a confused look when he led her to his bedroom.
“This is the only place I can think of where no one will bother you. You can hide out here tonight if you want.”
“Oh.” She considered that a moment. “But, don’t you want your room to yourself?” She noticed that there was only one queen sized bed. If she stayed, one of them would be sleeping on the floor.
“I don’t mind, really.” Seb smiled genuinely, and Bri found she couldn’t refuse.
“Okay, then.” She stepped in, and Seb closed the door behind her. As she sat down on the bed, she realized that her tears had stopped. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Seb had proven to be a very effective distraction.
“And, the best part…” He opened the front of the nightstand to reveal a mini fridge. “My room comes fully stocked. We can hole up here for as long as you need.” He pulled out a can of Coke and handed it to her.
“Wow, and to think that Claire and I have been practically roughing it in our room.” She gave a small laugh.
“Hey, you’re laughing. That is definitely better than crying.” He sat down next to her gingerly. “How are you feeling, really? And don’t give me any of this “I’m fine” crap. I want the truth.”
“I’m…” Bri trailed off as she tried to figure out what she was feeling. She was definitely hurt, and devastated, and her heart felt like it had just been put through a blender, but on top of all that, there was another emotion building. “I’m angry,” she said, as she realized what it was she was feeling. “On top of everything else, I’m really pissed off.”
“Good, you have every right to be angry. Do you want to talk about it?”
Did she? After her emotional evening, she hadn’t thought she wanted to talk. But her anger provided a barrier between her heart and the pain, and she wanted to build that barrier as thick and strong as she could. So, grasping on to her anger like a lifeline, she let it build within her.
“How dare he.” she began, adding fuel to her fire. “How dare he just brush me off like that. How dare he hide like a coward, and not even have the decency to talk to me. Why does he get to dictate what happens between us? Why does he get to make all the decisions, without even asking for my opinion? Who the hell does he think he is?” she practically shouted. “I have been nothing but supportive and understanding, even when I was hurt and disappointed. I practically put all of his needs before mine, and this is how he repays me? By acting like what I want and how I feel doesn’t even matter? By deciding that I’m too much of a burden to be around anymore? Well, if that’s what he wants, fine. Screw him!” She took a couple deep breaths and tried to calm down. She was shocked how easy these things just flowed out of her. She must’ve had these latent feelings for a while now, without even realizing it.
Seb gave her a smug grin. “There she is. There’s the Bri I know and love. I was worried I’d lost you for a minute there.” He reached up and ran his fingers lightly down the side of her face.
All her anger whooshed out of her in an instant, and she froze. Seb had never looked at her like that before, like she was the most precious thing in the world. Looking back into his eyes, she felt her heart clench in fear as she recognized the emotion in them.
“Wait, what?” she asked apprehensively, desperately hoping she was wrong. “What did you just say?”
Seb’s smile dropped and his face paled. “What? I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes, you did,” she pushed, seeing the fear in his eyes. “You said… Do you… love me?” She looked at him disbelievingly.
Seb stood and began pacing, obviously upset. He ran his hands through his hair before turning to her.
“Look Bri, I…” He looked like he was going to deny it, but then his shoulders slumped and he let out a weary sigh. “Yes, I love you. This can’t come as a big surprise to you.”
She gasped, completely shocked. Seb loved her? She’d always known he cared for her, just as she cared for him, but love? Her mind raced back through every moment they’d spent together, every conversation they’d had. Had the signs been there, and she’d missed them? Was this a big surprise? Or deep down, had she always known he’d felt something more for her?
“But, you’ve had girlfriends. How could you have girlfriends
if you…” she gulped, unable to finish her sentence.
“I’ve dated, there’s a big difference. And even then, I haven’t dated a lot. No one quite measures up to you.” He gave her a small smile. “But, what else can I do? The girl I love is in love with my best friend; and I’m not dumb enough to think that I can compete with him. So, I’ve tried my best to move on. Only, it hasn’t worked out so well for me.” He hung his head sadly.
“Seb.” The dejection on his face had Bri up and over to him before she realized she’d moved. “I’m so sorry, I never even realized. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” She hated that she’d hurt Seb like this, and for how long? Had she been hurting him for years now? What kind of person was she, that she didn’t realize one of her best friends was suffering, and she was the cause of it? She felt her eyes tear up as she realized just what kind of awful person she was. “Please don’t hate me.” She choked back a sob.
“Oh, Bri,” he pulled her into his arms. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. This isn’t something you did, it just happened. Please don’t think that this is your fault. I know how much you love Cole, how much you’ve always loved him. It’s just my own stupid luck that he met you first.” He gave a humorless laugh, and Bri pulled back to look at him. He looked so sad and so vulnerable, her heart hurt for him. She wanted more than anything to reassure him, to erase the pain from his eyes.
“Seb, I…” She didn’t even know what she wanted to say. She just knew she couldn’t stand the fact that she’d hurt him. He’d been there for her when she needed someone the most. He made her feel like she was important, that she mattered. He didn’t deserve to have his heart broken, especially by her.
“It’s okay,” he gave her half a smile. “I finally got the chance to tell you.” He reached up slowly and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers trailed softly along her jaw, and he gazed deep into her eyes. “That’s something at least,” he whispered.
Certified Disaster (Beautiful Mess Book 2) Page 21