by L. J. Smith
Kaitlyn didn't smile. "I know what it's like," she said flatly to the carpet. "When they're scared of you.
When they can't look you in the eye and they kind of edge away when you get close ..." She looked up at him.
Something flickered in his eyes; then he shook his head, turning away. "You don't know what it's like when they're so scared that they hate you. When they want to kill you because they're so scared that you'll..."
"That you'll what?"
"Read their minds. Steal their souls. Take your pick."
There was a silence. Ice crept along Kaitlyn's spine. She was bewildered-and afraid.
"Is that what you do?" she said, fighting to keep her voice above a whisper.
"No." The cold knot in Kaitlyn's stomach loosened slightly-until he turned around and looked at her with the calm gray eyes of a madman. "It's not as simple as that. Do you want to know how it works?"
Kaitlyn didn't move, didn't speak. She just looked at him.
He spoke precisely, as if giving a lecture. "Any time two minds make contact, there's a transfer of energy.
That's what contact is, the transfer of a certain kind of energy. Back and forth, energy carrying information. You understand?"
Rob had talked about energy-channeling energy. But maybe that had been a different kind.
"Go on," Kaitlyn said.
"The problem is that some minds are stronger than others. More powerful. And if a strong mind contacts a weaker one-things can get out of control." He stopped, looking at the dark, curtained window.
"How?" Kaitlyn whispered. He didn't seem to hear her. "How can it get out of control, Gabriel?"
Still looking at the window, he said, "You know how water flows from a high place to a low place? Or how electricity keeps trying to find a ground for its force? Well, when two minds touch, energy flows.
Back and forth. But the stronger mind always has more pull."
"Like a magnet?" Kaitlyn asked quietly. She'd never been great at science, but she did know that- the bigger the magnet, the stronger it was.
"A magnet? Maybe at first. But if something happens-if things get off balance-it's more like a black hole.
All the energy flows out of the weaker mind. The strong one drains it. Sucks it dry."
He was standing very still, every muscle rigid. His hands were shoved in his pockets, fingers clenched.
And his gray eyes were so bleak and lonely that Kaitlyn was glad he wasn't looking at her.
She said, evenly, "You're a telepath."
"They called it something different. They called me a psychic vampire."
And I felt sorry for myself, Kaitlyn thought. Just because I couldn't help people, because my drawings were useless. But his gift makes him kill.
"Does it have to be that way?"
He flicked a glance at her, eyes narrowing. He'd heard the pity in her voice.
"Not if I keep the contact short. Or if the other mind is fairly strong."
Kaitlyn was remembering. How long? About forty-five seconds. Oh, my God.
And the Mohawk guy had come out screaming.
This volunteer is a psychic. Not psychic enough, obviously.
How strong did a mind need to be to hold up to Gabriel?
"Unfortunately," Gabriel said, still watching her with narrowed eyes, "even a little thing can upset the balance. It can happen before you know it."
Kaitlyn was afraid.
A bad thing to be around Gabriel. He saw it, sensed it. And it obviously triggered some instinct in him- to go for the throat.
He gave one of his wild, disturbing smiles. There was bright sickness in his eyes. "That's why I have to be so careful," he said. "I have to stay in control. Because if I lose control, things can happen."
Kaitlyn struggled to breathe evenly. He was moving closer to her, like a wolf scenting something it wanted. She forced herself not to cower, to look at him without flinching. She put steel into her neck.
"That was how it happened the first time," Gabriel told her. "There was a girl at that center in Durham.
We liked each other. And we wanted to be together. But when we got close-something happened."
He was directly in front of her now. Kaitlyn felt her back flatten against the wall.
"I didn't mean it to happen. But I got emotional, you see. And that was dangerous. I wanted to be closer, and the next thing I knew, we were linking minds." He stopped, breathing quickly and lightly, then went on. "She was weak-and afraid. Are you afraid, Kaitlyn?"
CHAPTER 8
Lie, Kaitlyn thought. But she felt sure he could detect a lie. She also felt sure the truth might kill her.
Nothing to do but take the offensive.
"Do you want me to be? Is that what you want-for it all to happen again?"
A veil-like spiderweb seemed to fall over his gray eyes, taking out their dark brightness. He even pulled back a fraction.
Kaitlyn stayed on the attack. "I don't think you meant to hurt that girl. I think you loved her."
He stepped back even farther.
"What was her name?" Kaitlyn said.
To her surprise, he answered. "Iris. She was just a kid. We were both kids. We had no idea what we were doing."
"And she was there because she was psychic?"
His lip curled. " 'Not psychic enough,'" he quoted, as if giving Kait the answer she was expecting. Stark bitterness was in his eyes. "She didn't have enough
.. . whatever. Life force. Bioenergy. Whatever it is that makes people psychic-and keeps them alive. That night at the center ... by the time I was able to let go of her, she was just limp. Her face was white, blue-white. She was dead."
His chest heaved, and then he said deliberately, "No life. No energy left. I'd drained her dry."
Kaitlyn wasn't on the offensive any longer, and she couldn't hold his gaze. Her own chest felt as if there were a tight band around it. After a moment she said quietly, "You didn't do it on purpose."
"Didn't I?" he said. He seemed to have conquered whatever emotion had possessed him; he was breathing easily again. When Kait looked up, she saw his gray eyes were no longer bitter, or even shielded. They were . . . empty.
"The people at the center had a different idea," he went on. "When I realized she wasn't breathing, I called for help. And when they came and saw her-all blue like that-they thought the worst. They said I'd attacked her. They said I'd tried to force her, and when I couldn't, I killed her."
Kait felt a wash of pure, dizzying horror. She was glad there was a wall behind her, she let her weight rest on it, and only then realized she'd shut her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, opening them. Then, trying to find some comfort, she said, "Rob was right.
What Joyce is doing is important for the world. We all need to learn how to control our powers."
Gabriel's face twisted. "You believe that country-boy stuff?" he said with utter contempt.
Kaitlyn was taken aback. "Why do you hate Rob so much?"
"Didn't you know? The golden boy was there, in Durham. They practically worshiped him-everything he did was right. And he was the one who figured out what had happened to Iris. He didn't know how I'd done it, but he knew her energy had been tapped, like blood if you cut an artery. They hunted me, you know. Like an animal. The center and the police and everyone." His voice was dispassionate.
But that wasn't Rob's fault, Kait thought. It wasn't. Aloud she said, "So you went on the run."
"Yeah. I was fourteen and stupid. Lucky for me, they were stupider. It took them a year to find me, and by then I was in California. In jail."
"For another murder," Kaitlyn said steadily.
"When the world is so stupid, you take your revenge, you know? People deserve it. Anybody that weak deserves it. The guy I killed tried to mess with me. He wanted to shoot me over the five dollars in my pocket. I got him first."
Revenge, Kaitlyn thought. She could picture the parts of the story Gabriel hadn't told. Him running away, not caring what
happened to him, not caring what he did. Hating everything: the universe, for giving him his power; the stupid weak people in the universe, for being so easy to kill; the center, for not teaching him how to control his gift-and himself. Especially himself.
And Rob, the symbol of someone who'd succeeded, whose powers brought only good. Who was in control. Who still believed in something.
"He's an idiot," Gabriel said, as if reading her thought. He did that too much; it bothered Kaitlyn. "Him and those other two, they're all idiots. But you
have some common sense-or at least I thought you did."
"Thanks," Kait said dryly. "Why?"
"You see things. You know something's wrong here."
Kaitlyn was startled. "Something wrong? You mean, at the Institute?"
He gave her a look of knowing contempt. "I see. That's how you're going to play it."
"I'm not playing anything-"
He flashed a disturbing smile and turned, walking to the center of the room. "After all, if you leave, you don't stand much chance of getting him. Can't reel him in from Ohio."
Kaitlyn felt herself flush with anger.
It was over-the confidences, Gabriel's almost-decency, his letting down of walls. He was going to be as nasty and objectionable as possible now, just so she wouldn't get the wrong idea about him. Like that he was an okay person.
Well, I won't rise to it, Kaitlyn thought. I won't even dignify that with an answer. And however it sounds, he can't really know what Anna and I talked about behind closed doors.
She pushed herself off the wall and moved one step toward Gabriel. She said, very formally, "I'm sorry for what happened to you. It was all terrible. But I think that you should start thinking about what you can do to change things from now on."
Gabriel smiled silkily from behind his walls. "But what if I don't want to change things?"
Two minutes ago, Kaitlyn had been dizzy with sympathy for him. Now she wanted to kick him in the shins.
Boys, she thought.
"Good night, Gabriel," she said.
You jerk.
He widened his eyes. "Don't you want to stay? It's a big bed."
Kaitlyn didn't bother to answer that at all. She went out with her head very high, muttering words that would have shocked her father.
One thing was fortunate. For a while there, she'd felt quite close to Gabriel-and that could have meant trouble. Imagine her, Kaitlyn the cold, falling for not just one but two boys. But he'd taken care of that.
He'd pushed her away, and she felt certain he wouldn't let her ever get close again.
No, thank God, she wasn't in any danger. She found Gabriel interesting-even, in a weird way, heartbreaking-and he was certainly gorgeous. But... well, anyone with the bad luck to fall in love with him would have to disembowel herself with a bamboo letter opener.
She wouldn't tell anyone what he'd told her about his power. That would be betraying a confidence. But she thought she might talk with Rob about him someday. It might change Rob's views, to know that Gabriel could feel regret
Strangely, when Kait got back to bed, she fell asleep at once.
The next day Joyce took them to San Carlos High School. They were already registered for classes, and Kait was delighted to find that she shared sociology and British literature with Anna and Rob. In fact, she was delighted with everything. She'd never dreamed school could be like this.
It was different from Ohio. The campus itself was bigger, more sprawling, more open in design. Instead of one big building, there were lots of little ones, connected by covered paths. Ridiculous if it snowed
-but it never snowed here. Never.
The buildings were more modern, too. Less wood, more plastic. Smaller rooms with more crowding. No brick, no peeling paint, no wheezing furnace.
The students seemed friendly-Rob's blond good looks had something to do with that, Kaitlyn thought. He was clearly a high-status, desirable boy, and he ate lunch with her and Anna and Lewis. Kait could see the glances other girls shot at their table.
Anna was clearly high-status, too-because she was beautiful, not at all nervous, and she didn't seem to care if anyone approached her. By the end of lunch, several girls had come by offering to show the newcomers around. They stayed to chat. One mentioned a party on Saturday.
Kait was very happy.
The thing she'd worried most about was explaining why she and the others were living together. She didn't want to tell these California girls anything about psychic powers and the Institute. She didn't want to be different at this school. She wanted to fit in.
But fortunately Lewis took care of that. Between snapping pictures of the girls, he grinned and said that a nice old man had given them a lot of money to go to
school here. No one believed him, but it created an irresistible aura of mystery that enhanced their status even more.
At the end of the day, Kaitlyn walked out of art studio class feeling blissful. The art teacher had called her portfolio "impressive" and her style "fluid and arresting." All she wanted to make the world perfect was Rob.
Gabriel, of course, didn't associate with anyone, and ate lunch alone. Kaitlyn saw him several times that day, always away from people, always with his lip curled. He could have had tremendous status himself, she thought, because he looked so handsome and moody and dangerous, but he didn't seem to want it.
Marisol collected them after school in a silver-blue Ford van-all except Gabriel, who didn't show up at the pickup point. Kaitlyn thought about his parole and hoped he was on his way back to the Institute.
"Now for some testing," Joyce said when they got home.
That was fine with Kaitlyn. She was jubilant from her first day at school, and an afternoon of testing meant an afternoon with Rob. She still hadn't figured out a plan for helping him discover she was female, but it was always at the back of her mind. Maybe an opportunity would come up spontaneously.
But the first thing Joyce did was send Rob upstairs, saying she'd call him after she got the others settled.
"The REG is ready, Lewis," she added. She sat Lewis down at the same study carrel as before. This time Kait was bold enough to come up behind them.
"What is that thing?" she asked, looking at the
machine in front of Lewis. It looked like a computer, but the monitor had a grid-marked screen with a wiggly green line running across the middle. Like a hospital monitor charting a patient's heartbeat.
"This is a random event generator," Joyce said. "It's a computer that only does one thing-it spits out random numbers. It's producing numbers right now, some positive, some negative, all completely random. That's what the green line is charting. Lewis's job is to make the line go up higher-to influence the machine to spit out more positive numbers than negative ones."
"You can do that?" Kait asked, looking at Lewis in surprise. "With your mind?"
"Yeah, that's what PK is. Mind over matter. This is actually a lot easier than making dice come up a certain number-but I can do that, too, sometimes."
"Stay away from Vegas, kid," Joyce said, rapping him on the head with her knuckles. "They'd shoot out your kneecaps."
She turned to Anna. "Right, you. Same as yesterday. I want you to tell that mouse which hole to go in."
Anna already had the white mouse out of its cage. "Come on, Mickey. Let's go make history."
"Right. Now, Kaitlyn," Joyce said. She nodded Kait toward the folding screen, where Marisol was wheeling up a machine on a cart. Kaitlyn eyed the dials and wires apprehensively.
"Don't be nervous. It's just an EEG machine," Joyce said. "An electroencephalograph. It records your brain waves."
"Oh, great."
"That isn't the part you're not going to like. You're going to really hate this." She held up what looked like a tube of toothpaste. "It's electrode cream, and it's murder to get out of your hair."
Kaitlyn sat in the reclining chair, resigned.
Marisol's thickly lashed brown eyes met Kait's only for the brief
est of moments. Her full lips were curved in a bored, unchanging pout.
"This is just prep stuff to clean your skin," she said, squeezing a plastic bottle over a ball of cotton. She swabbed several places on Kaitlyn's head, forehead, and temples.
"Don't move your head." She dabbed some of the toothpaste on Kaitlyn's temple, then dabbed more on an electrode. Kaitlyn watched out of the corner of her eye as the wicked-looking little thing was stuck to her.
It didn't hurt. It tickled slightly. Kait shut her eyes and relaxed until Marisol finished wiring her up.
"Now, Medusa," Joyce said. "As I said, we're going to monitor your brain waves while you're doing your stuff. Brain wave levels change depending on what you're doing: Beta waves show you're attending to something, theta waves show you're drowsy. We're looking for alpha waves-the ones usually associated with psychic activity."
She saw Kaitlyn's expression and added, "Just try to ignore all this equipment, right? You'll be doing exactly the same thing as yesterday."
Kaitlyn looked sideways without moving her head, and saw Marisol bringing two strangers into the lab.
New volunteers. Kaitlyn felt a sudden sharp twinge.
"Joyce, is one of those volunteers ... for Gabriel?"
"I don't know where Gabriel is-although I'd like to," Joyce said grimly, handing Kait a pencil and clipboard. "Now relax, kiddo. No blindfold or earphones this time."
Kaitlyn shut her eyes again. She could hear some activity on the other side of the folding screen-Joyce giving a photo to the volunteer.
"Right," Joyce said. "The subject is concentrating, Kait. You try and receive her thought."
It was only then that Kait discovered how anxious she was. Yesterday she hadn't known what to expect.
Today she did know, and she was uneasy. Worried that she wouldn't be able to perform-and worried that she would.
She didn't feel like sliding down that mental chute into nothingness again. And if she did succeed ... what if she drew something as grotesque as yesterday's picture?
Don't think about it. Take it easy. This is what you're here for, remember?