by L. J. Smith
Don't you want to learn to control your power?
Kaitlyn gritted her teeth, then made a supreme effort to relax, to tune the world out. She could hear muted voices.
"Still beta waves on the EEG." That was Marisol.
"Give her time." That was Joyce.
Be calm, Kaitlyn thought. Ignore them. The chair's comfortable. You didn't get much sleep last night.
Slowly, gradually, she felt herself sink into drowsiness.
"Theta waves."
Blackness, falling . . .
"Alpha waves."
"Good!"
Kaitlyn's hand began to cramp and itch. But as she lifted the pencil, eyes shut, she suddenly remembered yesterday's picture. Anxiety twisted in her stomach.
"Back to beta waves," Marisol said, as if announcing a death in the family.
Joyce peered around the screen. "Kaitlyn, what's wrong?"
"I don't know." Now Kait felt guilty as well as anxious. "I just can't focus."
"Hmm." Joyce seemed to hesitate, then she said, "Right, wait a sec," and disappeared.
She was back again quickly. "Shut your eyes, Kait."
Kaitlyn obeyed automatically. She felt a quick dab and then the touch of something cold on her forehead.
Very cold.
"Now try again," Joyce said, and Kait heard her go.
Again Kait tried to relax. This time she felt the darkness swirl around her immediately. Then she had an odd sensation, a feeling of pressure in her head. Like an explosion building. And then-
-pictures. Images rushing in, almost with more force than Kaitlyn could stand.
"Alpha waves like crazy," a faraway voice said. Kaitlyn scarcely heard it.
Nothing like this had ever happened to her before-but she was too startled to be afraid. The pictures were kaleidoscopic, each passing in a flash almost before she could recognize it.
Gabriel. Something purple. Joyce-or someone like her. Something purple and irregular. A doorway with someone standing in it. A bunch of purple round things. Something tall and white-a tower? A bunch of purple . .. grapes.
She could feel her hand moving, drawing small circles over and over on the paper. She couldn't help opening her eyes-and the instant she did, the images in her head vanished.
She'd drawn a bunch of grapes. Made sense. That was the picture she'd gotten most frequently.
Recklessly, ignoring the wires, she stood up and looked around the screen.
"What happened?" she demanded of Joyce. "I saw pictures in my head-what did you do?"
Joyce stood up quickly. "Just put on another electrode."
Kaitlyn put a hand to her forehead. It felt as if there was something between the electrode and the skin.
"Over your third eye," Marisol added stonily.
Joyce glanced back at her. Marisol's olive-skinned face was expressionless.
Kaitlyn had frozen. Her drawing yesterday... "What's-what's a third eye?"
"According to legend, it's the seat of all psychic power," Joyce said lightly. "It's in the center of your forehead, where the pineal gland is."
"But-but why would an electrode-"
"God, she's still in alpha waves," Marisol interrupted.
"Time to get you unwired," Joyce said briskly. She began pulling electrodes off. Kaitlyn felt the forehead one go, but Joyce's hands moved so quickly, she didn't see what became of it.
"By the way, what did you get?" Joyce asked, taking the clipboard from her. "Oh, terrific," she cried.
"Oh, look at this, everybody!"
The warmth in her voice made Kaitlyn forget what she'd been upset about.
"I don't believe it-you got the target picture exactly, Kait! Exactly, down to the number of grapes on the bunch."
Anna and Lewis were crowding around. The volunteer, a tall girl with night-dark skin, showed Kait the photo she was holding. It was a bunch of grapes-and Kait's own drawing might have been traced directly from it.
"That's impressive," a warm, drawling voice said from behind Kaitlyn. She felt her heart pick up speed.
"I think it was an accident," she told Rob, turning.
"No accident," Joyce said. "Good concentration. And a good volunteer; we'll have to have you back."
Rob was looking at Kaitlyn's face, his golden eyes darkening. "Are you okay? You look kind of tired."
"Actually-this is so strange-I just got a headache." Kait put her fingers to the center of her forehead, where pain like an ice pick had suddenly begun jabbing. "Oh-I guess I didn't get enough sleep last night____"
"I think she needs a break," Rob said.
"Of course," Joyce said at once. "Why don't you go upstairs and lie down, Kait? We're done here."
Kait was wobbly on her feet.
"I'll help," Rob said. "Hold on to me."
It was the perfect opportunity; better than any plan or trick Kaitlyn could have thought up. And it was useless, because all at once her head hurt so badly that she only wanted to lie down and go to sleep.
The pain came in throbbing waves. Rob had to lead her into her bedroom because she couldn't see straight.
"Lie down," he said, and turned off the bedside lamp.
Kaitlyn eased down, then felt the mattress give under Rob's weight beside her. She didn't open her eyes.
She couldn't; even the diffuse afternoon light from the window hurt.
"It sounds like a migraine," Rob said. "Is the pain all on one side?"
"It's here. In the middle," Kaitlyn whispered, indicating the spot. Now she was feeling waves of nausea.
Oh, wonderful. How romantic.
"Here?" Rob said, sounding surprised. His fingers on her forehead were blessedly cool. Strange; they'd been warm last time.
"Yes," Kaitlyn whispered wretchedly. "I'll be all right. Just go away." And now, to top everything off, she'd told the boy she loved to get lost.
Rob ignored the suggestion. "Kait, I was wrong. It's not a migraine; it's not even an ordinary headache. I think you're sick from burning energy too fast-psychic energy. You've run yourself dry."
Kaitlyn managed a feeble "So?"
"So-I can help you. If you'll let me."
For some reason, that frightened Kaitlyn. But a stab of agony made up her mind. "All right..."
"Good. Now, relax, Kaitlyn." Rob's voice was soft but commanding. "It may feel strange at first, but don't fight it. I have to find an open transfer point____"
Cool, deft fingers touched either side of Kaitlyn's neck, paused for a moment as if searching for something. Then lifted, not finding it. They moved to probe delicately at the tender area behind the jaw.
"No . .." Rob murmured.
Kaitlyn felt her hand gently taken. Rob's thumb centered on her palm, his index finger directly opposite it on the back of her hand. Again he seemed to be searching for something, moving his fingers minutely.
Almost like a nurse feeling for a vein before taking blood.
"No."
Rob shifted. "Let's try this-move that way a little." Kaitlyn followed his urging and scooted toward the side of the bed. She opened her eyes automatically-and then quickly shut them in alarm. Rob was bending over her, his face very close. Suddenly a pounding heart added to her pain.
"What.. . ?" she gasped.
"This is just one of the most direct ways to transfer energy," he said simply. "You need a lot."
His lack of embarrassment or self-consciousness saved her. Kaitlyn kept her eyes shut and held still as he put his forehead to hers. Their lips were almost touching.
"Got it," he murmured. His mouth actually brushed hers, but he didn't seem to notice. "Now . . . think about where it hurts. Concentrate on the place."
A minute ago she hadn't been able to think about anything else. But now . . . Kaitlyn's awareness was flooded with him. She didn't want to move or breathe. She could sense his entire body, even though only his forehead was touching her. Third eye to third eye, she thought dizzily.
Then, all at once, a new sensation rushed in and dr
ove out all thought of anything physical. It was so new that she didn't have any way to classify it.
It wasn't like sight, or touch, or taste, but Kaitlyn's fogged brain tried to interpret it that way. If it had been sight, it would have been millions of sparkling lights that glowed and glittered like jewels. A dynamic, changing pattern of multicolored sparks, twinkles, and flares.
If it had been touch, it might have been pressure-not an uncomfortable pressure, but one that swept away all the pain of her headache. Like a river rushing through her mind, clearing out everything stagnant and clotted and decayed.
If it had been taste, it would have been like fresh, pure water-water she drank greedily, like an exhausted runner whose mouth has been full of choking dust.
It was electrifying-overwhelming. It didn't simply take away the pain. It filled her with life.
Kaitlyn never knew how long she lay drinking in the life-giving energy. But some time later, she realized that Rob was slowly sitting up. She opened her eyes.
They looked at each other.
"I... thank you," Kaitlyn said, barely above a whisper.
She expected him to smile and nod. Instead he blinked. It was the first time she'd seen him at a loss for words.
And then, as they looked at each other, a simple thing happened. Neither of them looked away. With ordinary friends you always look away after a moment -or you speak.
But Rob didn't speak and he didn't look away.
The air between them seemed to shimmer.
CHAPTER 9
It was as if Rob were seeing her for the first time. More than that-it was as if he were seeing a girl for the first time. He looked astonished and wondering, like a person who had never heard music before suddenly catching a few notes of a beautiful melody on the wind. Catching it and wanting desperately to follow it.
His expression was that of someone on the brink of the greatest discovery of his life.
"Kaitlyn?" he whispered, and his voice was awed and questioning and almost frightened.
Kaitlyn couldn't speak. They were both on the threshold of something so big-so transforming- that it terrified her. It would change everything, forever. But she wanted it. She wanted it to happen.
The whole universe seemed to be hushed and waiting, breath held.
But Rob didn't move. He was on the brink of discovery-but not there yet.
He needs help, Kaitlyn thought. He still doesn't understand what's going on.
It was up to her to show him, to help him take that first step-if she wanted to. And she did. Kaitlyn suddenly felt calm and clear. She saw in her mind what was going to happen, like a picture already finished.
She would cradle his face with her hands and kiss him-very softly. And Rob would look at her with such surprise. So completely innocent-but not stupid. Rob wasn't slow to catch on. After she kissed him the second time, the astonishment would turn to dawning wonder. His golden eyes would start smoldering the way they did when he was angry . . . but for a very different reason.
Then he'd put his arms around her, and kiss her- so lightly-and the energy, the healing energy, would flow between them. And everything would be wonderful.
Breath held, Kaitlyn reached up to touch Rob's face, seeing her own graceful artist's fingers on his jaw.
Even that little contact sent sparks dancing up her palm. It all seemed so simple and natural-as if she knew what to do without thinking. As if she'd always known, in some wise place inside.
Imagine it-Kaitlyn the cold, knowing what to do, feeling so sure. It was all about to happen.
Then voices broke into her reverie. Laughing, ordinary voices that didn't belong at all to the beautiful new world Kaitlyn was inhabiting. She looked up in confusion.
Lewis and Anna were just outside the door. Gabriel was behind them.
"Hey, Kait," Lewis began cheerfully. And then, seeing her face, "Uh, oops."
Anna's dark eyes were stricken and apologetic. "We didn't mean to interrupt," she said, grabbing Lewis's shoulder as if to propel him away.
"A little therapeutic touch in the dark?" Gabriel asked blandly.
Sick dismay swept through Kaitlyn. The discovery, the wonder, in Rob's face was shattered. It had been so fragile, something that was about to be born rather than something that already existed-and now it was gone. Snatched away, leaving only Rob's usual kindness and concern. His affection for Anna and Lewis.
And his hatred for Gabriel.
"Kait had a headache," he said, standing up to face Gabriel directly. "If it's any of your business."
"She seems to be better now," Gabriel observed, looking around him at Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn glared at him with deadly heat.
"It would help if people would leave me alone," she said.
"We were just going," Anna said, her eyes telegraphing her contrition to Kaitlyn. "Come on, Lewis."
"That's right," Rob said, and then, to Kait's utter frustration and disbelief, he walked out the door himself.
"Want me to close this?" he asked.
If it had been a ploy to make sure Gabriel and the others stayed away, Kaitlyn would have understood.
But it wasn't. Rob had reverted completely. The only emotion she could see in his golden eyes now was brotherly affection.
And there was no way to get through to him, no way to change things back. At least for today, it was over.
She didn't know who to be angry with-Gabriel and the others or Rob himself. She might just kill Rob-but she loved him more than ever.
"Yes, please close the door," she said.
When they were all gone, Kaitlyn lay on her bed, watching as cool violet twilight replaced the warm light of afternoon. The room became shadowy, mysterious. She shut her eyes.
A sound alerted her-a sound like paper rustling. Sitting up quickly, she stared around the room. There it was, something white glimmering out of the shadows, creeping in under the door. No, not creeping-being pushed.
Kaitlyn quietly got off the bed and padded to the door. Yellow light from the hallway was shining through the crack beneath the door-and the paper was still moving. She ignored it, grabbed the doorknob, and yanked the door open.
Marisol was kneeling on the hallway floor.
The older girl's chin jerked up, and for a moment her brown eyes met Kaitlyn's. They looked shocked and surly. Then she was on her feet and heading for the stairs.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Fired by all the emotions of the past afternoon, Kait pounced. Frustration, excitement, and fury gave her the strength to seize Marisol and spin her around.
"What were you doing pushing stuff under my door? What is that?" Kaitlyn demanded, pointing to the piece of folded paper lying on the threshold.
Marisol just tossed her hair out of her eyes and looked defiant.
Kaitlyn let go of her long enough to pick up the paper, then blocked her as she headed for the stairway again.
"This is my picture!" It was the one Kait had done yesterday, the one of her own face with the extra eye, the one she'd left on the lab floor.
Except that now it had writing on it.
Scrawled across the bottom in heavy black pen were the words: watch out. this could happen to you.
"Another joke?" Kaitlyn said grimly, drawing herself up.
Marisol, who was several inches taller, just looked down at her with smoldering brown eyes. Kaitlyn, reckless of the consequences, grabbed Marisol's arm and shook her.
"Why are you trying to scare me? Is it because you hate psychics?"
Marisol laughed shortly.
"Do you want me to go away? Is it... oh, I don't know, some jealousy thing or something?" Kaitlyn was desperately groping for a reason that made sense.
Marisol pressed her full lips together.
"Okay, fine," Kaitlyn said, her voice slightly shaky. "I guess I'll just have to go and ask Joyce."
She got halfway to the stairs before Marisol spoke.
"Joyce can't help you. She doesn't know what's really going on. She wasn't around for the pilot
study-but I was."
"What's a pilot study?" Kaitlyn asked, without turning.
"Never mind. The point is, you won't get help from Joyce. All she cares about is getting her experiments done, getting her name in the journals. She's blind to what's really happening. That's why Zetes hired her."
"But what does this thing mean?" Kaitlyn asked, shaking the paper.
Silence. Kaitlyn turned around. More silence.
"God, you're dumb," Marisol said at last. "Don't you remember the experiment today? Didn't you wonder at all how you got that picture of the grapes?"
Kaitlyn remembered that kaleidoscopic flood of images. "I assume because I'm psychic," she said, but she could hear the stiff defensiveness in her own voice.
"If you were really psychic, you'd figure out why you're here. And then you'd be on the next plane home."
Kaitlyn had had it with innuendo. "What are you talking about? Why can't you say something straight instead of all this secret stuff?" she almost shouted. "Unless you don't really have anything to say-"
Marisol had flinched at the volume of Kaitlyn's voice-and now she suddenly shoved past her, elbowing Kait hard in the arm. As she reached the stairway, she glanced back and snapped, "I came up to tell you you're late for dinner."
Kaitlyn sagged against the wall.
This had been the most confusing roller coaster of a day ... and Marisol seemed to be crazy, that was all.
Except that didn't explain what had happened during Kait's experiment. When Joyce had put that
"electrode" on Kaitlyn's forehead ...
Over my third eye, Kait thought. She looked at the now crumpled paper. The extra eye in the picture stared up at her grotesquely, as if trying to tell her something.
I've got to talk to somebody. I can't deal with this alone. I need help.
The decision made her feel better. Kaitlyn wadded the paper up and stuck it in her pocket. Then she hurried down the stairs to dinner.
"What's it got to do with me?" Gabriel said, flicking the paper back toward Kaitlyn. He was lying on his bed reading a magazine about cars-expensive cars. "It's not my problem."
Kaitlyn caught the paper in midair. It had taken a great deal of control to come here. She probably wouldn't have done it except that she couldn't face Rob alone just now, and Anna had been on the phone with her family since dinner.