by Lisa N. Paul
“Ahem, sorry to interrupt this adorable, yet nauseating, moment,” Leo snickered, not looking at all sorry for the interruption, “but we really have to get going. Jayson just got here with the bus and we still need to get Zane and his two tons of shit and hit the road if we are gonna make any headway today.”
Pulling in a deep breath and silently begging herself for the strength to hold her emotions in for just a few minutes longer, Ashley plastered on what Leo often referred to as her “Barbie doll” smile. “Okay, boys, travel safely and kick some serious concert ass!”
“Wow, sis. Did you just say ass?” With a hearty laugh, Leo embraced her tightly, making her feel as safe and loved as he always did. “I don’t know, Ry, do you think it’s safe leaving my little sister here without us watching out for her? We aren’t even gone yet and she’s already using profane language.”
Leo’s laughter felt like a warm sweatshirt wrapped over her body. She absently ran her hands up her arms, savoring the warmth before it faded away.
“She’ll be fine,” Ryan confirmed, his voice more confident than his face looked. From the corner of her eye, she stared at Ryan, wondering if he didn’t have fears of his own piling up behind his shield of confidence. She knew that he had nothing to worry about in regard to her, but did he? She gave herself a mental head shake. Of course he knew, she told him often how much she loved him. She’d make sure to continue while he was gone.
“Hello, she is standing right here! And she is trying really hard to keep it together while her two favorite men in the entire world leave her behind. So please, rip off the Band-Aid and go so she can cry in peace and then get ready for work.” Ashley poked both her brother and her boyfriend in the chest as she tried to bring her point home. All the while repeating to herself, “Do not cry, do not cry.”
“Okay, sis, come here.” Leo pulled her in one last time dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “I will call you every day, I promise. And you know you can call whenever you want. The time will go fast, just wait and see. Between school and work and you hearing from colleges any day now, you have loads to keep you busy. I expect to be your first phone call when you get into the University of Pennsylvania, even before Romeo over there.”
“You will be, Leo.”
“I love you, sis. Now wipe off that awful plastic smile, it’s freaking me the hell out.”
With one more squeeze, Leo walked away from Ashley and headed to the front of the house. Almost as an afterthought he called over his shoulder, “Two minutes guys. Seriously, don’t make me come back here with the hose!”
Laughing, Ryan moved instantly closer to Ashley. His spicy cologne filled her nose and his touch lit up her skin. Ryan was sensory overload in its finest form.
All traces of laughter were gone as a look of sheer adoration and love washed over his features. Yep, she knew she was a lucky girl. “Ryan, I’ll be okay. I want you to go out there and enjoy every single moment of this. You deserve it.”
Stroking the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip he whispered, “But what I want is you. I love you, Princess. Please don’t forget that.”
Staring deeply into his soulful eyes, she knew right then and there that Ryan and Leo were right—trust was everything and she did trust him.
The words Ashley spoke next were the elixir that eased his worried mind. “Ryan, I will not forget anything about us. I love you too. I always have and I always will. Now kiss me and go be amazing!”
Ryan stared for a brief second, murmuring something unintelligible. Without warning he pulled her even closer to his chest until there wasn’t an inch between them. Not even a sliver of paper could slip through.
His fingers weaved their way through her hair, loving the way the strands slipped through his grasp, and he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was intense and desire-filled from the second it started. He could feel the way her body melded against his, the way she went boneless under his touch. He reveled in the trust she gave to him and in their connection. With just one look from her, he felt ten-feet tall, but when she kissed him, there were no measurements to determine that feeling.
“Ash.” Ryan’s voice was hoarse with emotion. He begrudgingly ended the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. “The only thing I would rather do less than stop kissing you is spend the day riding in a bus in sopping wet clothes because I totally believe Leo when he says he’ll be back with the hose if we don’t get to the driveway”—he looked at his watch—“…now.” He pressed his lips to hers once more, this time breathing in her scent, trying to capture it deeply in his lungs, his need to keep her with him becoming vital, pivotal to his survival.
Nodding her agreement, she rolled her eyes and linked her fingers through Ryan’s and walked to the front of the property to meet up with Leo and Jayson.
The moment he pulled his hand from hers, coolness traveled through his veins. Saying goodbye was painful, but not taking in every last second together was torture. Ryan climbed into the van and took the seat closest to the window. Their eyes locked, his hand ached from the tight fist he had it pulled into. He lifted two fingers to his lips and kissed the pads before pressing them back against the glass. Thank God the guys were leaving him alone, because there was no way he could speak around the enormous lump in his throat. He watched as she brought two fingers to her lips as if placing his kiss directly on her mouth. The bus turned off the street before her first tear fell.
The first of many tears glided down her cheeks. Watching the bus get smaller and smaller as it drove off down the street, Ashley’s gut churned. The morning had been an emotional rollercoaster at best. Earlier when she was talking to Ryan about taking a break, she’d been terrified that he might actually agree to it. Nothing could be further from what she’d actually wanted, but she loved Ryan too much not to at least broach the subject. Leo had warned her against it, of course—telling her Ryan would never agree to it, but she hadn’t been able to help herself. She needed him to be happy even at her own expense. His complete dismissal of her suggestion gave her the strength to say goodbye without falling apart in front of him. And now her brother and Ryan were off to ride on the winds of the Storm Front adventure while she was left standing alone, in her big house, in her small town, all by herself.
“I’ll be fine,” she told herself out loud. “Just perfect, as always.”
Do Ya, Punk
“HEY, PRINCESS, IS now an okay time to talk?” Ryan settled in the beat-up chair on the bus, with his feet resting on the scarred coffee table. Just the sweet sound of Ashley’s greeting had his dick hardening in his jeans.
“Hi, Ry. Yeah, I have a few minutes. I’m getting ready for work and after that I have a study group for my Calculus class. How was the show last night? Someone posted a clip on YouTube—you guys sounded amazing, as usual. But, you…you looked delicious!”
Her voice was soothing to his tired throat and his aching muscles. Ryan had never given any thought as to the toll performing on a nightly basis would take on his body. The past four weeks had taught him that no matter how much time he previously spent in the gym, the workouts were nothing compared to the demands of being on tour. The constant moving, setting up/breaking down, on top of their shows was exhausting.
“Yeah, babe, the show was awesome. It feels like we’re finally hitting our groove. That first week was tough as hell. I thought Leo was gonna throttle Zane at least twice and Jayson and I had one small fight, but things are smooth now.”
“Boys will be boys.” The warmth in her giggle traveled through the phone and straight to the core of his body. God, I miss her. How can I miss her so fucking much? Those were the thoughts constantly running through Ryan’s mind. It took more than a little effort to shake them off when it was time to go from being Ryan Baker, the boyfriend, to Ryan Baker, Storm Front’s front man and heart throb.
That was what the argument between he and Jayson had been about. Jayson had said that Ryan’s concentration was for shit and if he intended to be pussy-whi
pped the entire tour then they would have to look for a new front man. Aside from Ashley, Storm Front meant everything to Ryan so—on adrenaline alone—he’d thrown and landed a strong punch right to Jayson’s jaw. Jayson, being one of four brothers, had no problem returning the jab. Both guys had played the show that night sporting bruised faces and swollen knuckles.
“Ry, you’re fading out on me honey, do you need to go?” Ryan knew how much it bothered Ashley when he drifted off during their conversations. He often told her not to take it personally, but she explained it was hard not to take it any other way when phone calls and texts were their only source of communication while he was on the road.
“No, wait, Ash, a couple things. First, I have a surprise for you.”
“You do? I love surprises!” The excitement in her voice was palpable. He loved that he was able to put a smile on her face even from so far away.
“Your test is on Thursday, right?”
“Yes, last period, why?” He could hear the gears turning in her head, which increased his own excitement tenfold. “I know you’re scheduled to work both Friday night and Saturday afternoon but can you see about getting someone to cover your shifts?”
Elation bubbled in her voice. “Ryan, what are you planning?”
“Princess, can you get your shifts covered or what?” Confidence oozed from his voice. He knew she was going to love his surprise and he couldn’t wait a moment longer to tell her.
“Yeah, Ry, I’ll ask Scott if he can take them for me. I’m sure he won’t mind, especially since I’ve been helping him prepare for this calc test.”
Just hearing Scott’s name sent tiny shards of ice through Ryan’s veins. Scott James was Jayson’s younger brother and Ashley’s co-worker at the restaurant. But Ryan had noticed the way Scott’s gaze lingered just a little too long on Ashley. He’d seen the way Scott leaned in just a little too close when he was speaking to her. He’d even heard Jayson and his brother talk when they didn’t think anyone was around.
Scott had a major crush on Ashley and while it seemed as though Ashley didn’t think of Scott as anything more than an acquaintance, a co-worker, or a classmate, she also hadn’t noticed that her aloof feelings were definitely not mutual. Ryan knew when a guy was interested in a girl. Hell, he was a guy, and he could spot “game” from a mile away.
“Ash, that’s all you’re doing with Scott, right?” Images of that smug bastard sitting too close to Ashley popped into his mind before he could control them.
Clearly not hearing Ryan’s change in tone, Ashley giggled. “Oh please, Ry. As if anything would ever go on between Scott and me. I don’t think so.”
He tried not to snarl when he said, “Great, then get Scott to cover your shifts. I found a cheap flight for you to Jessup, Georgia. It leaves at four on Thursday and the return flight is on Sunday morning. You leave just before we head off to Atlanta. We’re playing in a bunch of small towns that weekend so you and I will have some quality time together before the band heads off to Atlanta for the bigger shows. What do ya think?”
As if the squealing wasn’t answer enough, he heard the thumping of what could only be her jumping up and down in the cute way she did when she was really happy. “Princess, you excited by any chance?”
“Ahhh! Ryan Baker, if you were here I would be jumping on you instead of looking like an idiot in the parking lot of Penne Plaza! Oh, honey, I’m so excited! I can’t wait to wrap my arms around you. Oh, shut your trap. You know I’m not talking to you!”
The elated buzz that had him floating on a bubble popped instantly, leaving Ryan flat on the ground, flat-out confused and more than a little pissed off. “Ashley, who the hell are you talking to?”
“I’m sorry, honey. I was walking into the restaurant and Scott heard me gushing and decided to butt into our conversation. But don’t worry, I gave him my famous left-hook and he doesn’t have anything to say now. ‘Do ya, punk?’”
He could hear the humor in the words she spoke to Scott. The tenderness he felt every time Ashley spoke to him remained but even so, his vision was tinged with shades of green. Every muscle in his neck tightened as he heard her turn on the Ashley Kynde charm. “Ryan, honey, let me go so I can see about getting my shifts covered. Will you call me tonight after your show?”
Burying the feelings of jealousy deep into his gut, Ryan replied, “Princess, every time I sing one of the songs that you and I wrote together I swear I can feel you standing next to me, and we’ve been ending our shows with Deep Dark Kiss, so yeah, baby, I’ll call you after the show.”
“Oh, Romeo.” Ashley had taken to calling him Romeo as of late. He didn’t mind too much though because although she swore his lines were cheesy he knew they made her swoon nonetheless. “I’ll be waiting by the phone.” She giggled just before disconnecting the call.
Ryan looked at the screen of his cell phone, a picture of he and Ashley peered back at him. How had he come so far so fast? He gently swiped his thumb over their captured image. How could one smart, beautiful girl have the ability to turn his entire life inside out? Just as quickly as that thought hit, another sparked in his mind…she could hurt you, man. Be careful. She loves you, but, you aren’t there. Things could change at any minute. Ryan stared at the picture again, and mentally shook his head. No, she’d never do anything to hurt you. This is time and distance talking. This is your worry about Scott James talking. He left the confines of the bus and headed to the venue to get some practice time in before the show. Playing always helped to clear his mind.
Ashley held the phone close to her chest. Deep Dark Kiss was a song they had started writing before they’d even shared their first kiss. She remembered sitting at the desk in her room staring at her note pad. It had been the day before Ryan, Leo and the boys had left for their summer trip. Ryan sat only a few inches away from her, watching as she wrote each word on the paper. His warm breath sent chills through her body, beading her nipples and moistening her panties.
She’d tried so hard to focus on the lyrics when really all she’d wanted to do was turn her head the slightest bit and press her lips to Ryan’s, to swipe her tongue gently across them and taste the satiny smooth skin.
Words swirled through her mind, begging to be released onto the paper, but embarrassment coupled with fear of rejection and sexual frustration kept her hands still, even while her inner thoughts ran wild.
Dyin’ just to settle in and hold you
a little closer
Dyin’ just to sip your lips
Dyin’ for your deep dark kiss
He’d been unusually quiet that afternoon, reflective even. Thinking back, Ashley now knew that his mood was the result of his inner conflict—wanting to finally share his feelings for her, but his loyalty to Leo had held him back.
While the melody had come relatively easy, the lyrics kept evading them. Finally allowing herself to pen the thoughts from her mind onto the paper, she hadn’t dared to turn to face him. She hadn’t needed to move to hear his breath stick in his chest. There’d been one beat of silence, and then another while she’d mentally berated herself for exposing her cards to a guy who meant the world to her. Worse still, her brother’s best friend.
In an almost unrecognizably hoarse voice, Ryan had exhaled and said with a moan, “Ashley, my God.” She’d heard the scrub of his hands over his face, and watched from the corner of her eye as he stood from the chair. He’d leaned down and kissed her cheek before quickly exiting her room.
Repeatedly thumping her head against the desk she’d chided herself for allowing him to see into her thoughts, into her heart. The guys had left the next morning for the summer tour, their departure placing an icy feeling in the pit of her belly.
The lyrics to the ballad had sat, unfinished, in her notebook—a direct imitation of the way her feelings for Ryan sat unrequited in her mind. It wasn’t until the night in the pool, when Ryan had kissed her for the first time—the night he’d confessed his true feelings for her—that the remaini
ng words to the forgotten song had bubbled out of her like champagne. That night, Deep Dark Kiss was completed and to date it remained her favorite Storm Front song.
“Dude, what’d that phone ever do to you?” Leo pried the defenseless cell phone from Ryan’s white-knuckled grip.
“What? Oh, nothing. I was just talking with your sister.” Leo laughed at Ryan’s clipped tone and pinched expression.
“So, what’d she do to piss you off? I mean, Ashley can be stubborn as hell, but she usually doesn’t get to you like this. Christ, you usually act like she walks on water.”
The two friends started walking from the bus to the small stage they would be playing on later that evening. Ryan watched as Leo climbed behind his drum kit and yanked out a pair of sticks from his back pocket. He loved watching his boy play the drums. Leo made it look so damn easy. Playing was like breathing to him, which is why the two of them had connected so well in the first place—they each saw their instruments as an extension of themselves.
Leo started tapping lightly on his middle tom, leveling his eyes to Ryan and waiting for his friend to talk. The rasping sound of the drum was hypnotic—designed to coax an answer out of him. But Ryan was wise to his friend’s tactics and remained stoic, lightly tapping his foot in time with the beat. Leo added the deep melodic sound of the bass drum into the mix.
“So, we’re gonna play it this way? Cool. I can hammer out the new song while you play the silent, broody guy.” Leo laughed and began to go full throttle into his groove giving his arms a full-fledged workout, all the while, keeping his eyes locked firmly on Ryan.
Ryan shook his head. He knew stubbornness wasn’t a trait only found in the female Kynde sibling. Leo could wait forever, if that’s what it took.
“Grrr, fine, I’ll talk. Just stop with the stare. It’s fucking creepy, man. Jesus, you and your sister are stubborn as hell when you want something.”