Jake's Quest - Wizards V

by John Booth

  [You are talking fairy-tale and myth. These creatures do not exist.]

  “And yet one lot of them are talking to the Diabli and tried to kill me, while one of the other lot healed me after I got caught in the first lots trap.”

  [The Krake are in contact with the Diabli?]

  “Funny how you managed to get them in the right order.”

  Fluffy snorted and flames shot across the cave.

  [In myth, the Krake feed on human suffering while the Aleph help those in need.]

  “Consult your memories and compare the creature possessing Farolan with descriptions of the Krake.”

  Fluffy took on a pose that reminded me of that statue of that man in deep thought. It looked funny when a dragon did it.

  [The Elders will think on this. Are the Krake alerted to you?]

  “The Aleph I met says probably not. He believed they set some kind of general trap and they would be certain it had killed me.”

  [Jenny is worried about you; and angry now she knows you are with me.]

  “I’d better go then.” Damn that empathic link. That was a whole load of possible lies straight out of the window. I’d probably have to tell her the truth.

  I hopped for home.

  Jenny gasped as I surged into her for the third time that night. I had impregnated her the first time as per my instructions, but she wasn’t in the slightest bit satisfied by that. Despite healing magic, a certain soreness had set in. The previous night had been unending as Esmeralda satisfied herself in every way imaginable. I rolled off my beloved wife and tried to stifle a moan.

  The bedside light went on and I rolled over to see what Jenny was up too. She had reached for a notebook and I saw her tick something.

  “What’s that?”

  “Nothing.” She switched out the light.

  Despite exhaustion, curiosity flickered. I lit the room with magic and the notebook floated towards me.

  “Give that back,” Jenny yelled as she made a grab for it.

  The book flew upwards and out of reach. However, I couldn’t get at it because Jenny had jumped on top of me and was hitting me with her pillow.

  “Give it back, Jake. I’m entitled to a little privacy.”

  “Get off me then.”

  Jenny slid off and the notebook flew into my hand as I rolled away from her. The attack with the pillow resumed, but I maneuvered so I had the book in my left hand while defending myself with the right. Ignoring Jenny’s screams of annoyance I started to read. It was a numbered list, and items one, three and five had been ticked off as completed.

  Jenny started crying and rolled away from me.

  “Esmeralda made a list for you?”

  “Go away, Jake. I hate you.”

  I tossed the notebook in her direction and it flew across the bed to land perfectly on her bedside table.

  “Has it become obligatory? What she gets, you get?”

  Jenny stopped crying to answer.

  “She always knows with us, and she’s so competitive. So we agreed on lists to keep it fair.”

  “But I love you the most. I always have.”

  Jenny turned with her face flushed. “But you had to marry her, didn’t you.”

  That seemed unfair.

  “You two decided that, not me.”

  Jenny fell back on her pillow as though I had pricked her balloon.

  “It’s always you, Jake. There’s no such thing as free will around you.”

  “I’ll divorce Esmeralda.” It was a stupid thing to say, but in that moment I meant it.

  Jenny gave me a wan smile. “No you won’t. You’re tied to her as much as me, and don’t think we don’t know about the others.”

  Have you ever been swimming and someone pulls you under? I gasped for breath, unable to speak.

  Jenny sat up and pushed me back onto the pillow. She was smiling despite the tears streaking her face.

  “You’re never getting away from me, Jake Morrissey. No matter what you do. And right now you’re about to do number seven.”

  She pushed me to the edge of the bed as she spread her legs. I pulled up the list from memory and slid down the bed to position myself. At least my favorite body part was going to get a thirty-two minute rest.

  When Esmeralda wrote a list, she was meticulous in every detail. I wowed to give Jenny five minutes extra even if it killed me. If I asphyxiated while performing, Jenny might let me off the rest of the list. Otherwise this was going to be a very long night and a chunk of the morning as well.

  12. Gwydion

  I woke to a pain in the groin and the clatter of china on a silver plate. I performed what healing magic was possible on my abused organ and struggled to open my eyes.

  “Here’s a lovely cooked breakfast for my wonderful husband.” Jenny sounded fresh as a daisy. I rolled onto my back and felt a weight press onto my groin. My eyes snapped open as delicate parts absorbed far too much heat from the bottom of the tray. A layer of hasty magic protected my vitals as the smell of singed cotton filled the room.

  “I must have left the tray on a hot ring,” Jenny yelled in panic.

  More artfully used magic repaired the sheets and dropped the temperature of the center of the tray to something more reasonable. Unless you were soldering metal to it, it had been at the right temperature for that.

  Jenny sat down on the side of the bed with her hands over her mouth.

  “No harm done,” I said calmly.

  “I could have done you a terrible injury.”

  “You did that during the night, but I’m recovering now.”

  Jenny started laughing. Bacon, eggs, grilled tomato and baked beans started to jiggle and I lifted the tray a couple of feet into the air. Jenny embraced me as she slid fully onto the bed, lying next to me.

  “That was supposed to be a present for number seven.”

  “Just don’t tell Esmeralda.”

  Jenny pouted, “But you did for thirteen minutes longer than with her. It was so good I thought I was going to die.”

  “You didn’t know if you were coming or going?”

  Jenny thumped me. “She’ll be so jealous when I tell her.”

  I groaned. I was going to need new body parts at both ends if this competition continued. There must be some way to get them to stop it.

  She gave me a quick kiss and got off the bed. “I’ve got to get Merlin out of his cot and dressed. This is going to be a busy day what with the Griffith’s coming round at one and Gwydion’s birthday party. Anna will be bringing Esmeralda and Morgana.”

  “Who else is coming?” It didn’t seem like a whole year since Mrs. Griffith gave birth.

  “Your parents are going to drop off the twins. They rang last night and said they were at their wits end because the twins kept going on about the party. And Malcolm and Silvia are dropping by with presents.”

  Malcolm works for Mr. Griffith; Silvia has been his girlfriend since our wedding.

  “No one else.”

  Jenny looked shifty. “Well…”

  “Well?”

  She took a deep breath and words rattled out in a torrent. “Bronwyn might stop by, but you mustn’t go running off because everyone’s expecting to see you.”

  I felt a twinge of panic.

  “You know she’s got a crush on me?”

  Jenny laughed. “She’s had a crush on you since she was eleven. There’s nothing new in that.”

  “She’s a kid. It bothers me.”

  Jenny put a hand on my chest.

  “If she tries to ravage you, I promise to stop her.” Jenny played with the hairs on my chest for a few moments before stepping away. “And it only bothers you since she’s grown breasts.” Jenny slipped out of the bedroom and shut the door before I could get my jaw to close.

  I sat up and the tray descended to the bed. The food was delicious. I decided to ignore Jenny’s comments. It wasn’t how she looked; it was the fact that Bronwyn was a child that bothered me.

  “Daddy!”
>
  Merlin bounced into the room. I just had time to fly the tray to the dressing table before he threw himself on top of me.

  “Daddy late. Naughty Daddy.”

  Little hands tried to hit me, so I started to tickle him. Eventually I let him up for air.

  “Wolf good.”

  I gave my son a squinty eyed look. Did that mean he knew what had happened?

  “Black birdies bad. Smack them, Daddy.”

  Jenny entered the room and Merlin started to make daft noises.

  “I thought he’d sneaked in here. How was breakfast?”

  “Wonderful. The only thing missing was dessert. How about a quick number one?”

  Jenny picked Merlin off the bed and pointed him at the door. When he was gone she gave me a reproving look.

  “You mustn’t talk dirty in front of Merlin. Besides, I’m dressed now, so don’t get any ideas. I have to write up a full report for Esmeralda on last night before she comes and I’m not having you confusing things.”

  “I have never confused any part of your body.” I said, mock indignant.

  “You do have some parts licked,” Jenny admitted.

  I threw off the bed sheets and stood up, revealing that I was once again ready for action.

  Jenny giggled and fled the room, calling for Merlin. Damn, she would never have done that before our son was born.

  I looked down reprovingly. “Down boy, are you never satisfied?”

  The darned thing flipped me off.

  By the time I had showered and dressed it was gone noon. Jenny had laid out the lounge for the forthcoming activities. Sandwiches and cakes sat covered in Clingfilm on trays and she had blown up half a dozen brightly colored balloons. Merlin was playing quietly by her feet.

  “Put Gwydion’s name on them,” Jenny suggested. She was sitting at the table scribbling on a notepad and sounded a little breathless.

  One thing about magic is that I can modify things as I go. The letters started out rough and ready, but by the time I’d had them flow round a bit every balloon looked as though his name had been painted in a factory.

  “You sound exhausted.”

  Jenny bit so hard on the end of the pencil it nearly broke.

  “Trying to get the details right. It’s a bit too close to reliving it.”

  I put my hands on her shoulders and squeezed gently, but she shook me off and went back to writing.

  “Just don’t leave that notebook anywhere near Mr. Griffith. He might have a heart attack. You know he’s an old man, he must be forty if he’s a day.”

  Jenny laughed. “Forty isn’t old,” she said, wagging a finger at me.

  “Daddy silly,” Merlin said on cue.

  Jenny picked him up. “Don’t you worry, darling. When Daddy gets to forty we shall buy him some nice blue pills, won’t we?”

  Merlin giggled. Just what I needed, he was colluding with his mother.

  The doorbell rang and I took the excuse to get out of the room. To my surprise it was Esmeralda carrying Morgana. Anna stood behind them looking embarrassed.

  “My Lord Wizard,” Esmeralda said, just a little ahead of Morgana screaming ‘Daddy’ and holding her arms out towards me.

  I kissed Esmeralda dutifully and took Morgana in my arms.

  “You look pretty,” I told Morgana.

  “Thank you, My Lord,” Esmeralda said. “We are in our party frocks.”

  And so they were, in costumes that would not have looked out of place in eighteenth century Bavaria. I raised an eyebrow at Anna who was dressed normally.

  Anna flushed, “Was I supposed to, My Lord? I can change.”

  “You look lovely. I was teasing.”

  Anna stopped panicking, but still looked worried.

  “May we enter your castle?” Esmeralda asked and I realized we were still at the door. As we entered she continued. “We normally hop directly to the lounge, but Anna was worried you might have guests.”

  “I want to have a word with you about certain lists you’ve been making.”

  Esmeralda carried on as though she hadn’t heard me.

  “Certain lists,” I repeated.

  “Not now, husband.” Esmeralda entered the lounge and the door swung shut on me.

  “Mummy silly,” Morgana said.

  “Perhaps we should go to the kitchen? For something to drink.”

  “I would love a tea,” Anna said quickly. “Tea is a wonderful drink. We should grow it in Salice.”

  “I’m still trying to get the coco bushes to grow.”

  “Yes,” Anna agreed. “Chocolate must be the first priority.”

  Morgana had almost finished her fruit juice drink before the tea was ready. I poured Anna a cup.

  “Is Urda busy?” Urda was Anna’s older sister and a defender of Salice. Both of them were wizards, of course.

  “A prior engagement with Captain Assad.”

  “Business?”

  Anna looked away. “Captain Assad is a very handsome man.”

  Now that was news. They would make a fantastic couple. What was even better was that Urda would no longer be after me to take her virginity. Hopefully, Captain Assad would have done the deed and we would both be lucky men. Urda was a very sexy young woman and the threat of having my testicles removed by Esmeralda would finally be gone.

  The doorbell rang again and I left Morgana with Anna as I went to answer it.

  As soon as the door was open, Mr. Griffith plunged into the hall to pump my hand, leaving his wife with his child in her arms trailing behind him.

  “You’re looking grand,” he said and then dropped into the fake Welsh accent he loved so much. “Not that I’d expect anything less from a Welsh Wizard, look you.”

  “Happy Birthday, Gwydion,” I said to the child in Mrs. Griffith’s arms. He gurgled back at me. Gwydion was a good looking baby, blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Not looking in the slightest like either of his parents. A whole lot of recessive genes must have surfaced in him.

  “Thank you for hosting Gwydion’s birthday party, Jake,” Mrs. Griffith said and leaned forward to give me a kiss on the cheek.

  I grinned and retreated, letting her in. Once Mrs. Griffith had gone ahead I turned to her husband.

  “How’s the timber business?”

  “Staying in profit, Jake. Having a friend willing to help out when we need it makes a big difference.”

  I shook my head, “You’d do fine without me, but I do like using a fork lift truck, so don’t hesitate to call when you need to.”

  Mr. Griffith came closer and our eyes locked. “I hear you’re going after the Bomber. Stay safe, Jake. A hell of a lot of people would miss you, if anything happened.”

  I put my arm around his shoulders and we walked to the lounge together.

  The party was going full swing, which is to say that Merlin and Morgana had taken Gwydion to a corner where they were encouraging him to play with his new toys. The twins were running round the house playing fighter pilots, a game they had made up which mainly consisted of loud explosion noises as they bombed every adult in the house in turn. The women were in a huddle, while Malcolm, Mr. Griffith and I were trying to hold a civilized conversation about the Rugby World Cup. The doorbell rang and an involuntary shudder ran through me. There was only one guest missing.

  “Do you want me to get it?” Mr. Griffith asked.

  “No, I’ll go.”

  As I headed for the door I heard Malcolm whisper. “Is Jake still scared of Bronwyn?”

  Mr. Griffith hushed him without answering the question.

  The twins had run upstairs and I opened the door in an unnerving silence.

  Bronwyn looked stunning in something that might have been a power suit, if I had any clear idea of what one of those was, anyway, it was expensive and tasteful with a hat that partially veiled her eyes. She waited for me to say something, but words had failed me again.

  “Can I come in?”

  I stepped back. As we entered the hall a gallon of
water rained down on us from above.

  There were screams of laughter from the twins, who had been lying in wait for us to step back inside.

  Bronwyn took off her hat and it was instantly dry, as was the rest of her. She handed it to me along with her coat,

  “I have something to take care of. Back in a minute.”

  She sprinted up the stairs like a professional athlete. The twins shrieked from their perches on the upper landing and ran.

  It was tempting to leave the twins to Bronwyn, but it was just technically possible she might kill them. I used magic to strip the water from me and dried the carpet while I was at it. Then I walked slowly up the stairs in pursuit. I could have run, but I wouldn’t be too bothered if she half-killed them before I arrived.

  It was suspiciously quiet on the top floor and for a moment I wondered if I’d taken too long to get up there. Then I heard a muffled sob coming from the attic bedroom.

  Bronwyn was sitting ladylike on a chair. Brad and Britney stood in front of her, fingers twitching against their sides. Their faces were tear streaked.

  “Ah, Jake, just in time.” Bronwyn looked at the twins expectantly. They jumped as if she’d bitten them.

  “We’re very sorry, Uncle Jake.”

  “And what will happen if you annoy your Uncle Jake again?”

  The twins swayed, saying nothing, but moving from one leg to the other as if they needed the toilet. They shook their heads denying there would be another time

  “Then, I think we are clear.” Bronwyn turned to me. “Shall we join the party? The twins are going to stay up here for a while and be very quiet, aren’t you?”

  Brad and Britney nodded violently.

  As we walked back down the stairs I felt compelled to ask.

  “You didn’t hurt them did you? I mean I won’t have to explain bruises or anything.”

  Bronwyn took my arm in hers as we reached the ground floor.

  “Not a mark on them, I swear. But you will find them a lot better behaved in the future.”

  I leaned forward a little and kissed her on the cheek. She squeezed my arm and we went to join the party.