Sky's the Limit

by Janie Millman

  ‘Mummy, I can’t find them, they’ve disappeared.’ Sonny’s little face was creased in disappointment. Gail remained silent and I watched as Sonny suddenly became aware of the intense gaze of the man standing opposite him. ‘The tortosses have gone,’ he explained, looking up at him.

  Tariq said nothing but he looked questioningly at Gail who nodded imperceptibly. His mouth fell open as he levelled his astonished gaze back down at Sonny, who began to squirm under his keen scrutiny.

  ‘Sonny?’ Beatrice stepped forward. Sonny looked up at Beatrice’s voice. ‘Sonny, shall we go and feed Mimi?’ Beatrice held out her hand. ‘And Bushara has made some special cakes for you.’

  Sonny looked up at Gail. He was a perceptive little lad and I could sense that he knew something was wrong.

  Gail smiled gently down at him. ‘Go on, Sonny, go with Beatrice and Sky, I’ve got to talk to, to talk to…’ Her voice quivered slightly and I leapt in quickly.

  ‘After breakfast, Sonny, I’m going to paint on the rooftop, I’ve got paints and crayons and a huge piece of paper, shall we do something together?’

  Next to animals, drawing was another one of Sonny’s great passions but still he hesitated until, with a grateful look at both Beatrice and me, Gail gently pushed him towards us. I took his hand, stealing a sideways glance at Tariq. They were as alike as two peas in a pod.

  ‘For five years I’ve had a son I didn’t know about.’ Tariq stared at Gail. His face was unfathomable but his eyes glinted.

  She nodded mutely.

  ‘Why, Gail?’ His voice was a whiplash. ‘Why did you never tell me before?’

  Tears rained down her cheeks. ‘I was afraid,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Afraid of what?’ He came straight back at her.

  ‘Afraid you wouldn’t want him, afraid that you would want him, afraid that you might come and take him away.’ She sounded pathetic even to her own ears.

  ‘Take him away?’ Tariq echoed her last sentence with incredulity. ‘We’re not heathens here, Gail, this is a civilised country, I’m a civilised man, I’m not in the habit of baby-snatching.’

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ She brushed away the tears.

  ‘I’m the one who is sorry, Gail,’ Tariq exploded. ‘I’m sorry that I’ve been denied my son for five years.’ He slammed his hand down on the table. ‘Five years that I’ll never be able to get back.’ He glared at her, his face so full of hurt and anger that she could barely look at him.

  During the silence that ensued, Nick, caught in the hallway with his arms full of flowers, wondered whether he should make his presence known. He hated eavesdropping but hadn’t felt able to interrupt.

  Philippe, caught at the opposite side of the courtyard by the bottom of the stairs, felt similarly trapped. Before either of them could move Tariq spoke once more.

  ‘And why now, Gail?’ He spat the words out. ‘Why now, after five years, do you suddenly decide to find me.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Gail sobbed. ‘I just suddenly thought, I just thought…’ She shook her head, unable to explain the madness that had led her here.

  ‘How do I even know that you did come to find me?’ Tariq was on another train of thought. ‘Maybe this is just all coincidence? Maybe if I hadn’t happened to be working here I would never have seen you again?’

  ‘Tariq, I did come here to find you, please believe me.’

  ‘I find it hard to believe anything you say right now,’ he snarled. ‘How long have you been here?’ He was pacing around her. ‘You’ve kept me in ignorance for five years so why should I trust anything you say?’

  ‘How could I trust you after your letter?’ Gail was suddenly angry, Tariq had to take part of the blame. ‘What was I supposed to feel after that? You “hoped I had enjoyed our interlude and wishedme a good life” …’ He started to speak but it was Gail’s turn to vent her pent up hurt and anger. ‘You tell me, Tariq, are those the words of a man in love? Are those the words of man you can trust?’ She was shaking uncontrollably as the emotions she had bottled up for five years came pouring out. ‘You hurt me beyond belief, I loved you, I loved you with all my heart and you broke it.’

  Tariq stared uncomprehendingly at her. ‘You left me, Gail. You never returned my letters and then I heard you’d gone back to Simon. It was you who broke my heart.’

  Gail stared back equally uncomprehending but before she could say anything there came a sneeze from the passageway.

  Nick appeared in the courtyard his arms full of flowers and his face red and embarrassed. ‘I’m so sorry.’ He looked from one to the other. ‘It’s the flowers, I’m slightly allergic, I really wasn’t eavesdropping, I was just sort of trapped in the hallway, didn’t want to intrude.’ He smiled nervously and began to sidle past them.

  Philippe used this opportunity to emerge from his hiding place and Gail and Tariq suddenly found themselves caught in a pincer movement. It had all the elements of a Feydeau farce and Philippe couldn’t help smothering a grin at the thought.

  Tariq turned on his heel. ‘Please tell Beatrice that I will come back this afternoon,’ he said to no one in particular.

  ‘Tariq we need to talk,’ Gail said urgently.

  ‘Later,’ he replied curtly. ‘I can’t take any more right now.’

  Nick, watching him go, saw the look of heartbreak on his face and turning around saw it mirrored on Gail’s.

  He made a quick decision. ‘Ask Bushara to put these in water,’ he said, thrusting the enormous bouquet of flowers into the arms of a bewildered Philippe before running out of the riad.

  He burst out into the little street and spotted Tariq immediately. He was sitting on a low wall by the fountain, drawing deeply on a cigarette.

  Nick sat down beside him, reaching into his pocket for his packet of cigarettes. ‘My name is Nick.’

  ‘The eavesdropper.’

  ‘Not intentionally, I was trapped in an awkward situation.’

  Tariq didn’t respond.

  ‘Gail came to Marrakech to find you,’ Nick said, lighting up.’ I’ve only know her a few days but she strikes me as a very honest, loving person.’

  ‘She kept a secret from me for five years, how honest is that?’

  ‘She’s come to find you now though and that takes some courage.’ Nick ran his hands through his hair. ‘Look, all I’m saying is that you obviously mean a lot to each other. It’s worth trying to sort things out.’

  ‘I thought we meant the world to each other but I was wrong.’ Tariq ground his cigarette into the earth.

  ‘Did you ever try and get in touch with her these last few years?’ Nick questioned.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why?’ Nick persisted.

  ‘She was with someone else.’

  ‘Did she tell you that?’

  ‘No, her sister did.’

  ‘So you never actually heard that from Gail?’

  ‘No, but why would her sister lie?’

  ‘I’m not saying she did, pal, I’m just pointing out that maybe there is blame on both sides, not just hers.’

  ‘What the hell is all this to you?’ Tariq turned to the tall red-haired man beside him.

  Nick paused before replying. ‘I’ve just made the most monumental cock-up of my life, I guess I don’t like to see someone else doing the same.’ He stood up and looked squarely at Tariq. ‘Think about it, don’t let love escape.’

  Tariq stared back.

  ‘I’m cooking a feast tonight,’ Nick said unexpectedly. ‘I’m a chef, I’m trying new recipes, you’re welcome to come.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Tariq said slowly and they both knew he wasn’t talking about the feast.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Tariq’s father and younger sister stared at him open-mouthed. Tariq hadn’t meant to tell them. He had gone home for some quiet reflection but when he’d seen them sitting having breakfast it had suddenly all come flooding out.

  ‘I have absolutely no idea what to say,’ his sister exclaimed after a sho
rt pause. ‘But I guess congratulations is the most appropriate thing.’

  Tariq remained silent. His sister got up gracefully despite her advanced pregnancy and went to hug him. ‘But you have certainly stolen my thunder.’ She laughed softly. ‘Here I am pregnant with the first grandchild and you suddenly march in and announce that you have a five-year-old son.’ She shook her head. ‘How am I supposed to follow that?’ She was desperate to lighten the mood, Tariq was as white as a sheet and she could see the veins throbbing in his neck. It had the desired effect, the glimmer of a small smile reached his face.

  ‘I apologise, Jasmina.’

  ‘Why now?’ His father, Amir, finally found his voice. ‘Why now, after five years?’

  ‘I’m not sure, she said she was scared, she was worried that I might steal him away.’ His face darkened. ‘Although why on earth would she think that? I mean, how could she possibly think I could do that?’

  ‘When you are pregnant you’re not thinking straight.’ Jasmina stroked her stomach. ‘All you want to do is protect your baby, nothing else matters.’

  A look of terrible sadness came over Tariq’s face. ‘I’ve missed five years of my son’s life, five precious years, how could she not have told me?’

  ‘You should have gone after her, son, you should have chased her, I told you that at the time.’ Tariq looked at him in amazement. What his father had actually said was, ‘You are better off without her, I have any amount of women queuing up to marry you.’

  ‘I thought she had gone back to her old boyfriend.’ Tariq was desperately trying to understand what had happened. ‘That’s what her sister said, I can remember.’

  But Jasmina interrupted his thoughts. ‘What’s he like, Tariq?’ She was suddenly excited. ‘What does Sonny look like?’

  ‘Exactly like me.’ Tariq grinned. ‘He is just like me.’ His face was shining with joy.

  ‘You have to bring them here, they must come and live here,’ Amir announced.

  ‘Papa, for goodness’ sake, she may not want to come and live here.’ Tariq’s brow darkened once again. ‘It’s not that straightforward. They have a life in England.’

  ‘You are the boy’s father, it is only natural that they come here to live. You have a duty towards him now.’ His father looked him in the eye. ‘You have to be firm, Tariq, you have to be the master and make the decisions.’

  Said the man who had deferred to his wife from the moment they were married to the moment she had died. Tariq and Jasmina exchanged an amused glance.

  ‘Something isn’t right here.’ Tariq was struggling to come to terms with everything. ‘Gail never said anything about a boyfriend but that’s definitely what her sister told me and if that wasn’t true then why the hell didn’t she try…’

  He got no further. The earth suddenly felt as if it were trembling beneath his feet and grabbing the nearest chair he sat down abruptly. His carefully ordered world seemed to be spinning out of control.

  ‘You have to go and speak to her, Tariq.’ Jasmina laid a cool hand on his brow. ‘There has obviously been some terrible misunderstanding and you must make sure that doesn’t happen again.’

  Back at the riad Nick was replaying the conversation with Tariq.

  ‘He said my sister told him what?’ Gail gawped at Nick. ‘She told him I was with someone else? Is that what Tariq told you?’

  ‘That’s what he said,’ Nick replied.

  ‘But why would Dawn tell him that?’ Gail continued. ‘It just doesn’t make sense.’

  ‘I don’t know, sweetheart, I’m just telling you what he said, but it seems clear that there has been some sort of misunderstanding.’ He paused for a moment. ‘I’ve invited him tonight. I hope that’s OK.’

  But I could tell that Gail wasn’t really listening.

  ‘I need to phone Dawn, I need to ring her now.’ She was shaking like a leaf.

  ‘Sit down for a moment, Gail, you’re as white as a sheet. Drink some water.’ I led her gently to a chair before turning slowly to Nick. ‘That was a kind thing to do,’ I said softly.

  He opened his mouth to reply but before he got a chance Beatrice came out of the kitchen.

  ‘Nick, a man has arrived at the back door with baskets of chickens, pigeons and half a lamb. Bushara is dumbfounded.’ She turned to Gail. ‘Cheri, are you alright? I feel somehow responsible, it was terrible that you had to meet Tariq like that.’

  I nodded in agreement.

  ‘I need to go and make a phone call.’ Gail slowly stood up. ‘Beatrice, Sky, can I ask you to look after Sonny a little while longer?’

  ‘Use the phone in my study, Gail, if it is an important call,’ Beatrice said immediately. ‘The mobile signal is bad here and you need to talk and hear properly. I will bring in some mint tea.’

  Gail looked around at us all. ‘You are being so kind, I can’t thank you enough.’

  ‘Nick, have we got the King of Morocco and family coming for dinner tonight?’ Philippe had wandered in from the kitchen.

  ‘I may have got a touch carried away,’ Nick admitted sheepishly.

  ‘You’ll need more help than Bushara to prepare all that,’ Beatrice said. ‘And I am a liability in the kitchen, I’m afraid.’

  ‘I, on the other hand, am rather good. I mean obviously not up to your standards,’ Philippe hastened to add. ‘But my knife skills are OK, I’m more than happy to lend a hand.’

  As Nick smiled at him gratefully I could see his eyes automatically search me out. I couldn’t count the number of times I’d assisted him in the kitchen, the two of us chatting and chopping, a bottle of wine invariably open beside us.

  I saw his plea and was about to turn away from him when suddenly I heard myself saying, ‘I’ll help.’

  Nick looked surprised and so was I. Being stuck in the kitchen with Nick and Philippe was the last thing I felt like right now. What on earth had prompted me to volunteer?

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Gail was trying to marshal her thoughts before phoning Dawn. She couldn’t really believe that her sister would have misled Tariq and deliberately lied to her, but nonetheless a small, persistent worm of suspicion was gnawing away at her.

  Vague memories came drifting back to her. She recalled her sister’s fury when she had split up with Simon and her disbelief when despite her pleas she never returned to him. ‘But I thought that if Tariq was no longer in thepicture we’d go back to how life was before.’

  There had to be a rational explanation for this. Dawn would have an explanation, the alternative was too hideous to contemplate. She dialled Dawn’s number.

  The persistent ringing of the mobile gradually pierced Dawn’s sleep. Her head was pounding and her mouth felt dry and raw, the hangover was kicking in quick. She rolled over, glancing briefly at the phone to make sure Gail’s name was not flashing, and answered blearily.

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Dawn, it’s me.’

  Dawn sat bolt upright, shit, Gail must have been phoning from another number. ‘Hi,’ she mumbled. ‘Listen I’m running a bit late, can I call you back?’ She desperately tried to inject a sense of urgency into her tired voice.

  ‘This will only take a few minutes.’ Gail looked at her watch, there was no way her sister would be running late for anything at nine thirty on a Sunday morning. ‘Just a quick question that I need clearing up.’ She couldn’t even be bothered with the usual pleasantries. ‘Do you remember talking to Tariq about me, Dawn?’ She paused a second. ‘Specifically about me being with someone else?’

  ‘Talking to who?’ Dawn feigned confusion although her heart was hammering.

  ‘Tariq,’ Gail snapped. ‘Sonny’s father, Dawn. Don’t pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about.’

  ‘Jesus, Gail, it was years ago, how the hell am I supposed to remember anything from back then?’ Dawn lied, remembering exactly what she had said and why.

  ‘It’s very important, Dawn.’ Gail’s voice was like steel.

  ‘So you’ve
found him then, have you? What’s he been saying about me then?’ She was playing for time. This was exactly the scenario she had been dreading.

  ‘He’s not said anything directly to me yet.’ Gail gratefully accepted the tea Beatrice handed her. ‘I wanted to hear your side of the story.’

  Dawn pulled on a gown and began to make her way downstairs to the kitchen. She needed tea and headache pills, she simply couldn’t think straight. ‘You’re making a big thing over nothing as usual, Gail.’ She tried to sound light-hearted.

  Gail didn’t say a word.

  The silence became uncomfortable before Dawn stammered. ‘I, er, honestly, well I can’t really remember what I said, I mean maybe I mentioned something about Simon and you, just to make him jealous, you know, just to help you,’ she blustered.

  ‘When?’ Gail asked quietly. ‘When did you say this?’

  ‘Jesus, I don’t know, ages after he’d left here.’

  ‘After he’d left the UK?’ Beads of sweat were forming on Gail’s brow.

  ‘Enough of the bloody Spanish inquisition!’ Dawn yelled, grabbing a packet of paracetamol. ‘He didn’t say where he was, how the hell was I supposed to know where he was?’

  ‘So this was on the phone, Dawn? You were talking to Tariq on the phone?’ The enormity of what Dawn had done was slowly beginning to sink in.