Fifty Shades of Goldilocks (The Fifty Shades of Jezebel Trilogy Book 3)

by Melinda DuChamp

  She found Mr. Right. But can she marry him?

  On the day before her gigantic Fairytaleland wedding to billionaire Jack Horner, Jezebel is confused. Tormented by feelings of doubt and drooping self-esteem, she goes to the infamous Hellfire Club Spa for relaxation, and hopefully transformation. But can she learn to like herself again before saying “I do”?

  Perhaps. But she’ll need to have a lot of great sex with strangers.

  Written by the author of the bestseller 50 SHADES OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND, GOLDILOCKS features the same hysterical humor, heated erotic encounters, and romantic escapades readers have come to demand from Melinda DuChamp.

  It’s erotica for smart people who like to laugh, just like you.

  FIFTY SHADES

  of

  GOLDILOCKS

  An Erotic Fairy Tale for Adults

  by

  Melinda DuChamp

  Contents

  Begin reading FIFTY SHADES OF GOLDILOCKS

  Other Books by Melinda DuChamp

  Other Recommended Titles

  Copyright

  Marrying a Billionaire

  “So what do you think? I just signed the closing papers this morning. Perfect, isn’t it?”

  Jezebel peered up at the thrusting tower of the castle’s keep. The place was beautiful, massive, luxurious, maybe even nicer than the castle owned by Prince Charming himself.

  “It makes me feel sort of small.”

  “That’s only because it’s so big. Wait until you see inside.”

  Jezebel’s husband-to-be, Jack Horner, grabbed her by the hand and led her across the drawbridge and into the courtyard. Jack made his fortune by genetically engineering beans, which grew to gigantic proportions and could feed entire villages (though you didn’t want to be downwind of the village after they ate.) She’d dated Jack years ago, after an adventure they’d had involving a beanstalk, but had left him because he’d lacked ambition.

  It turned out that was the kick in the pants Jack had needed to start his own business, which led him to becoming one of the richest men in the world, and to eventually asking Jez to marry him. You can read the first two books in the series if you want all the hot details. But that’s not necessary, because there is a sex scene coming up in just a few short paragraphs.

  Their home-to-be was amazing from outside the castle walls. The inside blew Jezzy away. All cobblestone and flowers, the courtyard was larger than the biggest ballroom, and the air smelled like roses.

  “The band will be over there,” Jack said, gesturing to a stone platform. “And the dance floor here. And we have to have tables for dinner. You’re planning a sit-down dinner, right?”

  “Jack, this is all a little overwhelming…”

  “That’s the point, isn’t it? Wait until you see this!”

  Placing his hand on the small of her back, he guided her around the side of the keep to a private cove, green and white and fragrant with flowering honeysuckle. A flower arch stood at one end, a blue pond flanking one side. And best of all, a fountain erupted from the middle of the crystalline water and filled the air with its soothing music.

  Jezzy clapped her hands to her chest. “It’s exquisite, Jack.”

  “This is where you’ll become my wife, and I’ll become your husband. I can’t wait, Jez!”

  Jezebel took in the setting, just right for a wedding. Twirling the diamond ring weighing down her finger, she turned to face her future husband. But when she opened her mouth, no sound came.

  She should be happy. She was happy.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I know you, Jez. Something’s up.”

  Jezzy gave Jack a smile. He’d worked so hard finding the perfect venue for their wedding, spent oodles of his oodles of money on this place, and there was no denying it was the most gorgeous and grand venue she’d ever seen.

  So why wasn’t she ecstatic?

  “This place is perfect, Jack. But it feels so big, so grand… I just don’t feel like I can measure up.”

  “What do you mean? You’ll be the most beautiful bride ever.”

  She nodded, wanting to believe him.

  “You will be. We’re going to be so happy.” Jack cradled her head in his hands and kissed her. His lips were tender at first, as if she was the most precious, delicate thing in the world. He teased her, nipping her bottom lip, dipping his tongue into her mouth, withdrawing. Then he gathered her into his arms.

  As their bodies pressed tight, Jez could feel his manhood surge against her, his arousal growing. She spread her legs, letting him nestle between. Being held by him always made her feel precious. Exciting him made her feel powerful. Jezzy could have the worst day in the world, and Jack could make her forget all about it. His want for her. His need for her. The way his body responded, just as it was responding now.

  “I have an idea,” she said between kisses.

  “Idea? What?”

  Still kissing him, she unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it off her arms. A quick flick of the hooks, and her bra came next. Cool air caressed her naked breasts.

  Her nipples were already peaking, and he leaned back to admire them, taking the weight of her mounds in his hands.

  “You are so hot. Jezzy.”

  Jezebel smiled, again wanting to hear more, to lose herself in his words. But the niggle of doubt lingered. She’d always felt hot before. But in the past few months, she’d been so busy running her matchmaking business and planning their wedding, she hadn’t had time to exercise. A few pounds later, and she wasn’t feeling as sexy as she used to.

  In fact, she was feeling downright frumpy.

  “We can’t do this, you know,” Jack said.

  Jezebel stared at him. “Why not?”

  “What do you mean, why not? We planned we’d wait until our wedding night. Make things special. Romantic.”

  Now Jack and Jezebel had enjoyed sex before. In fact, they’d enjoyed a lot of sex a lot of times before with a lot of different people, not to mention mythical beings. And since this was Fairytaleland—a fantasy world where the sex was always safe and consensual and frequently out in the open—their lifestyle was shared by most of the residents. But one week, two days, five hours, twelve minutes, and fourteen seconds ago, Jack had proposed a wonderfully romantic idea to Jezebel. And since Jezebel had been half out of her mind at the time from a mind-bending series of multiple orgasms, she’d agreed.

  They would abstain from sex until their wedding night.

  She unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them down her legs, standing before Jack in only a silk thong.

  “I need you, Jack. I just don’t feel as if I belong in this beautiful, important, grand place.”

  “Of course you belong here. You’re twice as beautiful, important, and grand as any castle.”

  “Then why don’t you… don’t you want me?”

  “Of course I want you. Look.” Jack pointed at his crotch. Sure enough, there was a major bulge growing in his pants. “You’re an amazing woman, Jez. I’m sure all of them want you, too.”

  Jezzy followed his gesture with her gaze. Standing at the top of the castle wall, a dozen workmen leered at her. And, as could be expected, they were all jerking off.

  Jezebel, like any resident of Fairytaleland, usually found it very exciting to have a bunch of strange men peering down at her nakedness. But with the extra pounds she’d put on and the stress she felt over the wedding, she wasn’t sure what to feel. Right then she wanted reassurance, not to be so… on display.

  �
��Jez? Are you all right?”

  “I feel… fat.”

  “You look great.” Jack eyeballed the workers. “Isn’t she hot?”

  “We’re construction workers,” one of them said. “We think anyone with a pulse is hot.”

  “A pulse is optional,” another said.

  “I once cat-called a garbage can rolling down the sidewalk,” added a third. “I yelled, Nice can!”

  “We’re basically pigs,” the first one said again.

  There were general nods of agreement all around.

  “But isn’t Jezebel especially hot?” Jack persisted.

  “Though the depictions of our profession in popular culture do tend to be on point when it comes to our vocal appreciation of the female form, there is more to women than their looks,” said one of the men, who was beating off particularly fast.

  The others nodded in agreement.

  “She seems nice, but what’s really important is her heart.”

  “And her mind. Smart, independent women are what does it for me.”

  “Relationships based on appearances never last. You need to have some common interests and goals.”

  “I’d have to get to know her as a person. I don’t think objectification is cool.”

  “Her big tits make my dick hard.”

  “That’s the answer I was looking for,” Jack said, pointing to the rude one. “They all want to have sex with you, Jez. You can see that, right?”

  “That’s the general impression I’m getting.”

  “Do you like them looking at you?”

  Even now, as inadequate as she felt about marrying Jack in this luxurious castle, she could feel her nipples harden in front of all those probing eyes. “Yes.”

  “Do you like knowing they want you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does it make you feel beautiful? Important? Grand?”

  “Right now they’re imagining kissing your tits. Like this.”

  Jack massaged her breasts then lowered his lips to them, focusing his talents on one then the other.

  A groan came from the men, and Jezebel felt a little charge of excitement as several of them took themselves in hand and started to stroke.

  “They’re wondering what it would feel like to suck on your nipples.”

  Jack pulled one into his mouth, flicking with his tongue and nipping lightly with his teeth.

  “Oh,” said Jezzy on a breath. She arched her back, watching as the rest of the men shucked their pants and gripped their hard lengths.

  Jack littered kisses over her belly, dropping to his knees in front of her.

  “And they all want to taste your pussy.”

  He brought his mouth between her legs, circling and teasing, plundering and grinding.

  Spreading her thighs, Jezebel rode Jack’s mouth, her naked breasts bouncing, her nipples still glistening from his kisses. Moans echoed from all around her, punctuated by the gentle slaps of flesh on flesh.

  Jack reached around her, his hands cupping her bottom, fingers kneading.

  She rode him harder, faster, forgetting about the men above, forgetting everything but Jack. Pressure built, starting in her core and tightening until she let out a scream. Jezzy’s body seized, and a roar rushed her ears. Legs weak, she sagged against Jack.

  He held her up, grinding harder, keeping the orgasm going… forever… forever… then before she could catch her breath, his tongue brought on a second climax with the thundering blast of a freight train.

  Her legs gave out, and Jack cradled her, holding her close. When her mind finally cleared and she could breathe normally again, she realized Jack was staring at her, smiling.

  “Good way to break the place in, huh? Make you feel more comfortable?”

  “It did relieve a bit of tension.”

  With all the pressures she’d been feeling lately, Jezzy was still sure of three things. She adored Jack. He loved her. And he was the perfect match. And yet…

  “Can’t you just fuck me, Jack? Maybe that’s what I’m missing.”

  “I’m missing it, too. That’s why it’s such a good idea to wait. We’ll be crazy for each other on our wedding night.” He gave her a light kiss, then motioned over his shoulder. “Feel like taking on some of your admirers? I’d love to watch.”

  Jezzy glanced up at the wall. Several men were still stroking themselves, others already spent. But as exciting as the idea was, Jez just didn’t feel up to it.

  She let out a sigh.

  “Something is wrong, isn’t it?” Jack said, all traces of lust gone. “Tell me what it is, Jez. Please.”

  “I don’t know.” Tears welled in her eyes.

  “Is it the wedding? Cold feet?”

  “No,” she said emphatically, although as the word crossed her lips, she realized she wasn’t sure.

  “Do you still want to get married, Jez? Do you want to marry me?”

  “Yes. Of that I am sure.”

  “Then why do you seem so unsure?”

  She paused a moment, wanting to be honest with Jack, yet not really knowing the cause herself. “I guess it’s…”

  “Yes?”

  “Maybe a little…”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know, Jack. I just feel nervous.”

  “I hear that’s natural. We’re getting married, after all.”

  “It’s not that. I want to be your wife. More than anything.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Jack’s face brightened. He took her by the hand. “I have something to show you that might help. A surprise.”

  As Jack led her into the castle, a few of the construction workers protested.

  “Hey! Not done yet!”

  “What are we supposed to look at now? Each other?”

  “Sorry, fellas, the show is over,” Jack said. “To make it up to you, I’ll give you all a raise.”

  “She already gave me a raise,” said the rude guy as he pointed to the tent in his pants. “That’s the problem.”

  “Don’t you men have smart phones?” Jack said. “I heard there’s this new thing on the Internet. It’s called pornography.”

  The men all whipped out their cells. Jack scooped Jez up and carried her into the keep and up the winding stairs. When he reached the door at the top of the tower, he shoved it open with one hip.

  Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. An enormous canopy bed angled from one corner, its coverings lacy and gauzy and divine. Next to it sat an ornate dressing table, covered with a magnificent arrangement of white roses. Fancy paintings of kings and queens spotted the walls, along with a particularly fetching one of dogs playing cards.

  All in all, the space was breathtaking. Which was too bad, since the air smelled of (obviously) roses.

  But the most incredible piece, better than all the paintings, better than all the flowers, better than even that soft, frothy, inviting bed, was the antique mirror in the room’s center. It looked like something straight out of a fairytale.

  Go fig.

  “This is the Lords and Ladies chamber,” Jack said, placing Jezzy on her feet. “It’s the grandest room in the place, and I’ve set it up for you. It’s where you and your matron of honor can get ready for the wedding.”

  “It’s lovely, Jack.”

  “And this,” he said with a flourish, stepping to the mirror, “is my wedding present for you.”

  It was a lovely mirror, with a beautifully ornate frame, but Jezebel wondered if this wasn’t some not-so-subtle jab at her vanity, or that Jack was only interested in her looks, which would be superficial.

  “Let me say, Jez, this isn’t some not-so-subtle jab at your vanity, or that I’m only interested in your looks, which would be superficial.”

  “I never would have thought that,” Jez said. “It’s a very nice mirror, Jack.”

  “It’s more than just a nice mirror. It’s magic.” He stood in front of it, angling so he could view himself from beh
ind. “I had trouble pulling myself away from it earlier. Makes my ass look awesome, doesn’t it?”

  “Your ass always looks awesome, Jack.”

  “As does yours. But this mirror shows us our ideal selves. You see yourself as I see you; absolutely perfect.”

  Jezzy eyed her reflection. But despite the fact that she was still buzzing from her exhibitionism in the courtyard, and despite the fact that she loved the thoughtful gift, she didn’t feel perfect at all.

  She frowned. And then to her horror, her eyes misted with tears.

  Jack looked stricken. “Seriously, Jezzy. Are you having doubts about marrying me?”

  “No! Of course not.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I just feel… I don’t know… fat.”

  “So you said.” Jack stared at her. “Is this one of those trick questions that no man can answer correctly?”

  “No.”

  “Because other guys have warned me about those.”

  “No, it’s just that—”

  “They say once you get married those questions start.”

  “No, Jack, it’s not that. My problem is—”

  “If I say that you don’t look fat, you’ll accuse me of lying to spare your feelings. And if I agree… well, to do that I’d have to be crazy, not to mention suicidal. And if I say—”

  “It’s not one of those questions, Jack.”

  “Look at yourself in the magic mirror, Jez. You’re radiant.”

  “But the mirror is magic. That’s not the real me. You said so yourself.”

  Jezebel began to cry again. Jack wrapped his arms around her.

  “What can I do to make you happy, Jezzy?”

  “I just think about our wedding and how perfect the plans are and how perfect this place is and how much I want to be your wife, and…”

  “And?”

  “And I worry that I’m not perfect enough for it all.”

  “Jez…”

  She held up a hand. “Nothing you can say is going to help.”

  “How about those guys outside? They certainly think you’re as beautiful as I do.”

  “Nothing they can say will help, either.”

  “Or do?”

  “As much as it gives any woman a thrill to be objectified by construction workers, I don’t think that’s the pick-me-up I need right now.”